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shy kitty

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    26
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15 Good

About shy kitty

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/23/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    married couple
  • Location
    Riverside,ca
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I meant respectful especially since were fairly new;)
  2. I dont mean to send thank u notes lol im saying for example after getting dressed and leaving the room I was given what u guys call a thank you kiss? And on off times hanging out ive been pat on the ass by female half.i dont mind but these are people I see regular as friends and play pals.as far as if we were to go to a party or see different couples im not sure whats ok and whats not.as far as before and during play touching making out etc makes complete sense and I luv every bit of the build up but im trying to be respectful waywardly were fairly new to this.
  3. I want to get everyone's thoughts on what is the most common acceptable behavior when it comes to physical contact after playtime is over. Are things such as hugging, kisses (not making out), pats, etc. ok or are you supposed to go back to being vanilla when you are "off the clock"? This includes between girls, not just male and female.
  4. Its a combo of several things we foot the bill 9 out of 10 and host 100% of the time.also we have a more stable lifestyle so sometimes it feels like they r there for the amenities such as our pool, cable, fridge full of food and beer, and we always have 420.plus we have alot of room for the kids to run around where as where they live is more confined.i dont mind being generous but I dont want to be chumped.
  5. these partyers, do they occasionally have sex to keep people interested? Cuz we've already had a soft swap with this couple..
  6. Lol on the"hey lets fuck"! I have expressed disappointment in the lack of play time and they seem to agree but alot of talk no action.my problem is although im aggressive as a regular person, my bedroom persona is actually very passive I prefer someone else takes the lead.maybe we need to seek out other couples in order to meet our desire.the night does go by too quick and we usually have early bedtime so we get tired pretty early.
  7. So were new to the lifestyle and we finally had our first experience, it was soft swap.we hit it off well with this couple.unfortunately maybe too well? It seems everyone we try to get together things don't happen.it turns into a completely vanilla event.not to sound rude, but we already have plenty of those kind of friends.its actually starting to get annoying because we like them but never get anywhere then when they aren't around they send flirty texts etc..i don't mind that every time isn't play time, but when its like a5:1 ratio against I have to wonder are we being played for fools.we are very fun and generous, so im wondering if in some warped way were"sugar mommy and daddy"now.extremely conflicted and want to avoid being a jerk.
  8. Sorry im new to the lifestyle and I can immediatly recognize feelings in those texts! Totally boyfriend girlfriend talk.my hubby crossed the line with a text like that and I called him out on it, its suppose to be sex and fun not love and emotions.
  9. Dont give up hope u might just need a different approach.ive always been shy and get a bit of anxiety in overstimulating environments.the first meeting we had with the couple we eventually had our first experience with,i almost threw up from nervousness and stress.we ended up not even doing anything that first meeting cuz I felt so crappy.we decided to go soft until I felt more at ease and had a better idea of what it was like.our soft swap was in our own bed which helped me to feel a little like im on my own turf (safer I guess?) And things were slow and simple to start off, next thing i know im making love to my husband in front of another couple and I wasnt even phased by it! after that i quickly became comfortable in my own skin and the shyness faded away.especially when u get to see other naked people and realize how beautiful and unique everyone is.she might just need to find heer comfort zone (which u should ask her what it might be) and she may come around:)
  10. Dont feel bad im a girl and I totally got"performance anxiety"the guy was giving me oral for like an hour and couldnt get there to save my life!!i finally had to call a"time out"cuz it was burning me out.i hadnt even drank.
  11. We looked into going to a local swingers party (I believe at a house), but when I emailed the hostess I didn't feel like I really understood how it works. We are interested in either a threesome or soft swap. Maybe eventually full swap but we are still inexperienced. The pics for the party looked like one big mesh of people having sex. How exactly would that work for what we want? Can someone shed some light on what REALLY goes on? No sugarcoating please.
  12. Coupleerotic had good points.since my original post I have been bringing up the topic quite a bit in order to find out what the root cause is.we have never had communication issues,i think since the whole idea was a bit out of the ordinary for us it tripped us up for a sec.so now we have definetely cleared that up.mostly it was a concern of him"measuring up"against another male.ive tried to reassure him, but we both realize that is something he'll have to work on.as far as the fmf I seem to only have issues with it because ive never been with a woman(wansnt sure if I would enjoy it) and felt the experience could be a bit one sided.since im not as bothered as he is we realized that if were going to take baby steps that the fmf is actually our most agreed upon to start.i think that once he is more comfortable and confident we csm go from there.and if he never is thats ok too.ill be happy trying something new.as far as the issue with our looks etc..thanks to this post shedding some light I think we are pretty much over it.as far as me saying"red flag"sometimes we need outside perspective to see our flaws and to change them.i didnt want to go into or create a bad situation.
  13. we have always been honest people,i think life is too short to waste the energy and time avoiding truth.i do think its a little ironic that everyone spends energy on profiles looking for the"perfect match"if they aren't putting out their real selves.what exactly is a"meet and greet"by the way?
  14. I really appreciate this site and all the responses.its nice to hear straight up real feedback from real people.tyvm:)
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