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outofbounds

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About outofbounds

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/04/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Occupation
    Musician
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. We took the next step, had a playdate with another couple... A lot of girl-girl action, big smile on my face. Slowly but surely...
  2. It used to be him, now it's me... life is unfair sometimes! =)
  3. Nothing turns me on like turning him on, even more so shocking him by how turned on he may be. I love an audience. I would do anything to please him as long as it was him asking honestly because he really wanted it, not just to make me do something or to punish me.
  4. That is exactly what I do... a little husband/wife time, nobody will deny you time to invest in your marriage. I pretty much tell them exactly what we did, just leave out the other people in the story!
  5. Because my swinging career has been EXTREMELY short so far, I know exactly what I did and am doing wrong... I pushed my husband too fast. I now know the first rule is never move faster than the slowest partner. I am not a patient woman but he is a man that will not be rushed... it was worth the wait! =)
  6. I will cast my vote for the experienced swingers... My husband and I are very new at this and we had our very first playdate ever (!) with another couple this past weekend. We both know the gentleman involved and I had met his girlfriend several times but my husband just met her the night before the party. They have been in the lifestyle together for 5 years and are very comfortable people. There was no pressure, my husband and I had drinks with her the night before, then he joined us for dinner the next night and we all retired to a hotel room together for hours of fun. Because we took our cues from them and they payed very close attention to our comfort level, everything moved along at a nice pace and no one was rushed or nervous. We played a while, then hit the hot tub, then played some more... We got a text at 2 am about Bin Laden and even turned on CNN to watch together! I think personality is a lot more important than experience but for my own comfort, I want to know that they know what they are doing and they will be in control of their feelings and jealousies and actions. I want to be sure that they are sure.
  7. You couldn't kick the smile off my face... it went as well as I could have hoped for. We had a relaxing couple of drinks and talked with several nice people, we were the first ones upstairs and the last ones to leave... =) There was one tense moment when an enthusiastic onlooker invaded our personal space and had to be asked to move along but it didn't end our fun. We now know that we don't need a pre-game warm up... We didn't cross any boundaries and set a relaxed pace. We even got a business card from a couple who would like to hang with us outside the club. We learned, we watched, we enjoyed. I am looking forward to the next time already. Thank you for all your help and support, we couldn't have done it without you. I'm sure we'll need you again and again as we explore further. It feels safe and secure to know that you are all out there... XO
  8. Well, it's been a busy month since my first post, once again, thank you for all the good advice and comments. My husband and I have spent a lot of time talking about all of this and our relationship is growing and changing with improved communication. We have spent a lot of time between the sheets exploring new things as well... =) The first result of all this exploration and communication is that we will attend a swinger's club this Friday night. We have no expectations except to watch and enjoy the atmosphere and our rules and boundaries are securely in place and accepted by both of us. I'm excited for this new experience together and we'll see where it goes from there. Wish us luck and fun, we'll let you know how it goes and what the next big adventure is!! xo
  9. Once again, many thanks for all of this insight. You have helped open my eyes and sparked a couple of great discussions. I am taking it all in and, although I know every relationship is unique in it's own right, a lot of basics apply here and everywhere. I'm slowing down, he's opening up and we are learning as we go. On the subject of monogamy, my husband is the FIRST man I have NOT cheated on... 15 years and counting. Every other relationship had an infidelity in it and my husband was the other man when we began our relationship. My husband has never been a cheater however, he is younger than me and has had fewer long term relationships than I have. I look forward to more of your comments, this is helping me to explore my own thoughts and, I hope, to communicate with my husband better. Deepest gratitude, outofbounds
  10. Thank you all so much for all this advice, I am reading and learning and exploring how I feel every second of the day. I am very alright with no MFM, I don't feel I need that to be happy. I just want to share a beautiful sexual experience with my husband and other people who think like I do. I don't need to have traditional intercourse to be overwhelmed by pleasure. I like to watch, I like to touch and women are soft and beautiful. I'm not looking to move towards MFM, he is uncomfortable with that and I don't want any negative feelings in my happy little world. I can understand his feelings. I have no issues with FMF... or FMFFF for that matter! I don't think playing with the friends that we already know in the lifestyle will be stressful in any way, they are very easy going and they know a whole community of people we don't know yet. My husband agrees that they are a great way to meet new people. He just doesn't want to see if leak over into our lives at work or in our community or our family. I can understand his fears, we have much to lose by being judged by small minded people. I trust the friends I have so I am comfortable with being open about my sexuality in front of them. I have openly talked of these things in front of one or two friends in particular even tho' they are not potential playmates and do not swing, I guess that is the real issue here. Any advice on talking openly about these things with friends who are NOT a part of this lifestyle? My husband and I talked it out again last night, I'm sure we will many times more. Please keep the advice coming, I need and appreciate all of your support and words of wisdom. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  11. Hi, I am brand new to this forum, 42, female, married. I want so swing, my husband is reluctant. He satisfies me in bed, no issues there, I love him with all my heart. He set a few rules right away, no MFM, only FMF threesomes will be acceptable. He doesn't want me to have sex, oral sex or any kind or sex with another man, although one can be present or watching, in a two couple situation and I am very okay with that rule. I am open to sharing him with another woman and anything that turns him on. We have some really great friends who swing but he is hesitant to be with people we know, while I am hesitant to be with strangers. We are having some friction dealing with all of these new ideas and haven't gotten together with any playmates yet. What do I do? How do I satisfy my hunger without hurting him? He thinks it may end our marriage if we play, I think our marriage is strong but I will be hurt and resentful if we don't play. I think it's an opportunity to share something beautiful and he feels attacked and threatened. Please help...
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