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wrnakedru

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wrnakedru last won the day on August 23 2023

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About wrnakedru

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  1. Ves - I think perhaps you got where you did in your mind was because the couple play is a new thing and carries a set of rules to govern the activity in order to accommodate her comfort level. For 2 1/2 years, their activity has consisted of her "exploring her bi-side" while he watched. If I am reading correctly, that was the extent of his involvement - watching. I am guessing here - but I think it likely that whilst exploring her bi-side, there was some kissing going on. I could be wrong about her doing that. It's been my experience, however, that we ladies like kissing each other - - and there's a lot of that. Admittedly, it may have been different with her and her explorations. I don't think it's unreasonable to think in 2 1/2 years, he has viewed a lot of kissing. But maybe not. I have to believe that within that same 2 1/2 year time period, she did become comfortable enough, and excited enough, to experience orgasms. Finished, so to speak. More than once. Perhaps multiple times during the course of a single encounter. Certainly multiple times over a 2 1/2 year span. So yes, Ves, that's a lot of viewing this guy has done in 2 1/2 years. A durn sight LOTS of kissing and a great big bunches of wa-hooing as well. And now he's gonna to be allowed through the door to be part of the actual action for a change. Say what you will about going as slow as the slowest partner ... and yes, I am not so obtuse that I don't understand that different levels of activity bring about a varying degree of comfort - and may need some rules to help with that. And yes, I agree there are large communication difficulties here - as well as some huge "basic marriage 101" issues that are in desperate need of immediate attention. BUT honest and true? I'm having a hard time faulting the guy for wanting to be able to do what he's watched her do for 2 1/2 years. Even the most pious of saints would eventually have to ask "When is it MY turn?" I'm having a real hard time here feeling empathy for the lady in question as she cries "FOUL." She's been riding in a limo for 2 1/2 years - and he's had to run along side of it, while peering through the darkened windows. Now he's going to be allowed to ride, but the rules are he only gets to stand up on the running board. Yup, I'm having a real hard time calling him heartless and viewing her as wronged. WR
  2. Did you come to your list of simple rules together after discussing the things that were important to each of you? Or did you state the ones that you felt should be rules - and he, more or less, agreed to them? I ask because of his remark that he "did things the way he wanted to do them." Your follow up post indicates that prior to this experience you have been involved in activity that, it sounds, didn't actively include him. So you had agreed to going to the "next step", but maybe added the provided set of rules you would feel comfortable following as you expanded your activity. Well, I think it's time to sit down and have that discussion again. You admit that you too did not stop the fact you were separating into different rooms, so it looks like neither of you was holding to the rules. I think maybe it's a good idea to include a new one - a first one, if you will - that no activity should happen when either of you have had "too much" to drink. A drink or two - maybe even three, depending on the time frame - can help serve to ease your nerves, relax you a bit and can be a help when utilized thusly. I believe your experience has taught you both that too much to drink can mar your judgement and can end up with your activity bringing unhappiness to you both. It's all supposed to be about fun, so try to keep a clear enough head to define what exactly is "fun" for both of you - not only at the moment, but later on as well. Take some time to be sure he hasn't been hampered for so long by whatever your prior activity has been that he is just gonna run amok with his new freedom. It is important to remember that yours is the relationship that matters most, and the lasting effects of your activity need to be good ones - not something you have to try to get over - each and every time. Please take time for some serious discussion before you attempt any further playtime. Be honest with one another, so that you have no surprises to deal with in the midst of what should be pleasure.
  3. There's no right or wrong that applies to everyone. You and your hubby have the choice of what feels right for the two of you and it would be wrong if you attempted to do things differently. Some view playtime as "just sex" after all, so the anonymous angle is not disturbing to them. In fact, some prefer to play only out of town with those there is no chance of repeat encounters with - feeling that keeps it as "just sex" with no possibility of interference in their day to day lives. Others find that prospect to be too "cut and dried" to interest them. They want to know their playmates well enough to feel a connection, and feel the experience is enhanced because of that. Many seek to find playmates with enough in common they can enjoy a friendship that includes shared non-intimate activity. Some are flexible - and go with what works for them on whatever given occasion, not feeling that all their playmates must be of the same sort of category. If the quickly-elevating activity of an on-premises club seems too cold to you, you may want to try the off-premise clubs. Or utilize the online sites to make initial contact with others - and seek others who want a chance to get to know each other prior to activity. The choice is yours to make - enjoy yourselves! WR
  4. Okay, I realize that no one owes any of us a durned thing. And that there are those who choose to do the "anonymous" or unregistered type of posting most especially when dealing with a volatile situation. But durn it - this is definitely one of the ones that's come along I admit to being curious as the dickens about. Six weeks or so have passed since this one was batted around, and man, oh, man - I'm really curious what may have transpired by now. Hopefully, the fear of a pregnancy developed to be a false alarm. The powderkeg already set to ignite didn't need that added dimension to it. I guess my greater hope is that maybe we were all just being yanked by a troll who has wandered on to mess with minds elsewhere. Cuz' if true, I am feeling like someone who, briefly, had a front row seat at a Springer show - only all the participants disappeared before any resolve was reached. My curiosity would be resolved if the poster would return and say "Move along folks, nothing to see here! It was a joke." :rollseyes ... or something .... head bang
  5. Don't you feel at times that we have developed our own little village in the midst of a mad, mad world? I have thought at times "Wouldn't it be great if we all DID live in one place?" Not that I think we'd be partying our butts off with one another ... (although that's a thought ...) After all, there's a wide variety of methods, styles and tastes amongst us. But there is an acceptance of those differences with an emphasis on those things which we hold in common without allowing the differences to become divisive. Perhaps what many have said is the case is what rings most true - that those who stay here are more instrospective and examining of how they live their lives. Certainly a viewing of the world in general would bear it out. There are those who are where they are and live their lives as they do simply because the tides have carried them there. And then there are those who have taken the time and effort to put at least one oar in the water and do some steering , recognizing the choices are ours to make. So I guess my vote is (sadly) we are the minority - we are in the group who live "examined" lives. Not sad to BE in that grouping, just sad that not more realize the choices are theirs.
  6. Can't recall where we read this particular bit of statistic, but hubby and I were just commenting that we had read "somewhere" that the average length is a bit over 5 1/2 [but still under 6.] That being said then, I suppose that it would be 'technically' correct to say that anything 6 or over is "well-hung." However, we agreed that when we see the phrase - we think more in terms of 8" or more. Certainly, girth does come into play to an extent but we're doubting that a fat 3 would truly compete with a thin 7 in most cases. But that's just our take on it.
  7. I guess we fall into the "she manages; it was her idea" but with qualifiers. I am only laying claim to the idea since I was in the lifestyle with my ex-husband. I didn't, however, anticipate or think I wanted to return to it. It was a long, slow, decision that we came to agreement on together after a great deal of discussion. I manage, and have written, the profiles we have on the various sites we belong to. We do decide our responses together, and I write them. The exceptions are those that are obvious mismatches and don't require any discussion. There are a few sites that we don't view as true potentials for finding others - but are more "play" sites, for chatting and exchanging photos - - that sort of thing. And for the most part, that is his playground. He does share anything that is of any real interest to him, but mostly it's just a pleasant, visual diversion.
  8. Since you've acknowledged the obvious, I'm not going to address it. Your choices are your own and I hope the ones from this point forward will be better for all of you. Having no idea what your financial situation might be, I don't know if this is possible, but if it is at all feasible, I'd suggest setting him up in a place of his own and preferrably situated around other young folks. If he is not employed at this point, obviously he would need to be. Scour garage sales and flea markets to furnish his place. Don't allow yourself the daily interaction of being his meal or laundry location. Hopefully, the environment of his own location will strongly encourage him to establish a more clear definition for his own life. He's a bit young, but no younger than he is for what's going in your home. I think this sort of solution provides him with a better definition for his future. WR
  9. Dito to what tina78 said. Hubby and I seek to find other couples where the female is bisexual not because the activity is mandatory, but because of what it says to us about her mental attitude. Of course, to be sure about that there needs to be discussion of the topic. Awareness of the choices of definition allowed on the particular site where one may be seeing a couples profile is a factor. I am prone to feel that a lady is either bisexual or she is not ... PERIOD. I don't have much tolerance for those who are still calling themselves "Curious" after years of exposure to the activity. I mean, geez, make up your mind! :rollseyes "Socially bi" to me means you will play at the activity to stimulate your man, but don't actually get into it. Golly, why would one do anything that one didn't derive some degree of pleasure from doing? Is one so phobic about admitting to the pleasure derived that one shrinks from terming themselves thus? "Passive bi" is another term that makes me wonder. Is this supposed to be an appealing term? Appealing because it means the lady is willing to receive pleasure regardless the source? I have the thought: Why would one be the recepient of attention one would never consider reciprocating? Bottom line: not all mean precisely the same thing when using different terms. It's best, therefore, never to make assumptions regarding any terminology used without affirmation from the writer. WR
  10. Welp, looks like I'm the only one who made the "sweet Oreo" middle choice for myself. I think that probably with most couples there is a bit of taking turns in the roles, depending on one's area of expertise. For instance, I am the one who writes the checks and pays the bills. But I don't think I should be in control of the purse strings because of that. That would put me in too much of a "Mommy" role, and that isn't one I think is productive for a good relationship. For major expenditures, we do a lot of discussion until we find agreement. I'm wondering .... In relationships where both are tops, is there a lot of jockeying for position, figuratively speaking? Do both find it imperative to feel they have "ruled"? In relationships where both are bottoms, does the communication suffer from it - with neither wanting to foist themself upon the other? Not judging here - really just curious and asking. I guess the questions come from the opinion I hold that most of us are a combination of traits that mean we are sometimes tops and sometimes bottoms. I have met a few in my life that were definitely almost totally one or the other, but I think the majority of us fit into a mid-road equitable role with our partners. Am I naive in thinking this? WR
  11. Thank you so much for posting this! We have skimmed past those ads that say P&P since we didn't know for sure what it meant and couldn't find it in any site's glossary of terms. I suppose if there had been somebody that really otherwise piqued our interest, we would have just asked them. But that hasn't been the sole reason so far when we've opted not to attempt contact. I had sort of figured it somehow referred to "Plug and Play" - - as in they were really into playing with a variety of "toys". Although we don't mind, rather enjoy, the occasional use of toys we don't think we'd enjoy those that always include toys as an important part of their fun. Surrender And on the off chance it referred to the unenticing practice of partying 'till you puke, well, we really aren't interested in that! Glad to know we weren't passing by something we would have liked!! BTW, what does "Foxy" refer to - - another Ecstasy-type of drug? Am I correct in thinking that the Ecstasy that is out there today is quite a bit different from the one that was legal for several years in the 80's? I 've heard some scary stuff about today's Ecstasy and didn't know if that was DEA propaganda or true - as the stories would not have been true regarding the 80's version.
  12. Not me but too funny not to tell. I know it's true, I was there and the lady asked for help afterwards. [This was told on a thread last fall, so pardon the repeat for those who have already read it] This happened at a large party in someone's home several years back. The lady in question and a male had adjorned to one of the bedrooms and after disrobing, began fondling and kissing. This led to a bit of oral play [her to him] which he stopped from going on too long, saying he wanted to "save himself". He then proceeded to return the favor by performing oral on her. After a bit that was quite agreeable to the lady, she became aware there must be some sort of problem. He seemed to be struggling with something, but would periodically return to the task at hand - but then pull back and by now was using his hand with the problem. Seems the male had been chewing bubble gum [for God knows what reason] and neglected to remove it before the activity. So there was the lady - with bubble gum tangled throughout her [fortunately] small amount of pubic hair. Neatly trimmed as it was, it still had managed to "snare" a goodly portion of the gum. Any thought of further activity was gone. The male was apologizing profusely, offering assistance. She asked what he suggested - he didn't have a clue. She went into a bathroom, wrapped a towel around herself and came looking for help. The hostess and I were good friends with her so it fell to us to "cure" the problem. We tried our best with ice, and a comb. A difficult task under the best of circumstances, but with the lady reacting to the ice, and the two of us shaking with laughter - it's a wonder we were any help at all. We did manage finally to get most of it out - only a small amount of strategic "trimming" had to be done to accomplish the task. But the event pretty much took the three of us out of play for the balance of the party. Once you start laughing that hard, that is pretty much how the rest of the evening is going to go. Too funny! Even the lady can laugh about it now.
  13. EBF has never been to a swinger's club or a strip club. She has promised in a vague sort of "one of these times" kind of way to go with hubby and me one night to one of the local off-premise swingers clubs. HOWEVER - one night on chat - well you were there so you remember - she did promise - in front of witnesses that hubby and I could take her to a strip club for her birthday [September 25th ] so she could see for herself exactly what a lap dance is. Recently she referred to those plans when we were on the phone, saying she was maybe finally going to see a lap dance. I informed her there was no maybe about it. And she said what do you mean - you don't know if we'll see one or not. I of course informed her she would be seeing one very up close and personal as I would be purchasing said lap dance for her. And that she could either pick out the dancer or I would. She asked "You have to pay for those things??" Sometimes she is such a silly b*tch!
  14. You just wait until later or tomorrow, when everyone is back from their weekend pursuits and they start reading the threads they've missed. Guarantee you - you are gonna be owing folks some keyboards for the ones they ruin spewing their coke or coffee while reading that story. It just cracks me up to picture it. My dear, sweet friend, wonderfully wise about so very many things with the surprising naivete' of a child regarding many others. You showed me the outfit you wore to your dinner meeting the day you told me this story the first time - I already had tears rolling down my face from laughing with you. You displayed the outfit and said "Don't you think it looks even a little bit 'lumberjack-ish', sort of ?" I just gave up and sat on the floor at that point, holding my sides - which were truly aching by that time. I can just picture it, you so determined - jaw set just so - and before you're even allowed to utter a word - deflated. Poor thing!! But it was for the best, after all, she had no sense of decorum whatsoever - - that would have driven you bonkers. And I don't think being a b*tch is necessarily a bad thing. After all, there are good b*tches and there are bad b*tches. The bad ones use the slightest opening or opportunity to wield with zeal even the slight amount of power they may possess in any given situation. It does not matter if their victim is undeserving, helpless, unsuspecting, or even a child or small animal - they feed on the superior feeling they perceive they gain as if it is their personal manna. Good b*tches show their claws only on rare occasion. Their ferocious side comes out almost solely in defense of others, sometimes unknown to them, sometimes their loved ones, but often it is most vehement against those whose nature was described in the prior paragraph. Injustice can set these good ones into a frenzy that refuses to be quieted until their task is accomplished to their satisfaction. I think all of us have a mixture of the good kind and the bad kind in us. But one is always pre-eminent. You, my friend, are a good b*tch!
  15. My present hubbby [of 13 years] and I do not play separately so this is not a current issue for me. However, my ex husband and I quite frequently went our separate ways. In keeping with the idea of our activity being a "togetherness" thing, I tried for a while at his urging to share it with him with words. I found myself feeling much the same as expressed by others here; either feeling like I was a Penthouse forum letter in the flesh, or simply unable to give it the verbal version that he sought. I know our dwindling relationship that eventually ended in divorce probably had a lot of impact on my willingness to even "tell the story" as I felt it somehow diminished the pleasure I may have experienced by trying to explain it. We tried only once or twice for him to tell me of his activity, but I discovered I did not have the same interest in hearing of his escapades as he did in hearing mine. As I have said, this was a marriage that already had a litany of problems so this was not the root of the problem. But considering the problems, our choice to indulge in separate play was probably not a wise one. Eventually, both of us came to recognize the stories weren't going to be told because what we did, we did for ourselves. And it served to be the source of further division between us. I think any inherrent danger to the relationship can be avoided if the primary relationship is the source of the most important and the most enjoyable sexual activity either of you experiences. I would urge those whose marriages are whole to find some way to share the separate activity, either through "story" telling, video, whatever. The frequency of separate activity should never exceed the activities you enjoy when you party with others as a couple. I believe it is most important to maintain an active and healthy sex life together alone and it should occur with more frequency than any other category.
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