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whatwewant

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About whatwewant

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 01/01/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Wisconsin
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. It sounds like you've answered all your own questions. #1, Sexual adventures with bf are a bad idea. #2, you state you aren't bi or really attracted to women except for a remote possibility. That's not something to ruin a friendship over. #3, she has stated she's not attracted to him, so either way, she probably wouldn't be into it, nor would it be a positive experience for anybody. There are a lot of people out there, and plenty to find some sexual adventures with, that are not your best friend. Just tell your husband your interested, but don't think your best friend would be a good choice. Be honest, even if it hurts his feelings, because in the end, your relationship is more important that the swinging. It's good he was honest with who he was sexually attracted to, return the favor and be honest with him. It goes both ways.
  2. In the end, it depends on what you believe. The New Testament, and in particular, Jesus, say virtually nothing about sex whatsoever. The Old Testament is ripe with all kinds of sex and violence. IMHO, they were entirely unrelated, until we tried to put them together. My guess is that if Jesus existed, he had all kinds of sex. Btw, what better way to get your husband off your case about a pregnancy he didn't do, then to blame it on angels? Joseph was a dunce, and Mary was probably wanted a little on the side. Bam, Christianity is born out of adultery. Ironic, since so many Bible thumpers are scared to death of it.
  3. We've used it, but have never gotten anything positive out of it. Like most things swinger related, location matters.
  4. It's no more a lifestyle than the biker "lifestyle" is. I never understood the use of the term in relation to swinging. Frankly, the word is just a replacement for the word swinging, which garners some negative attention from the bible thumpers. It isn't a "lifestyle" for us; it's something we hop into now and then. But then some people make it part of their everyday existence; we don't. Part of the problem is, as mentioned above, in the past it was just about sex...now it's a "lifestyle". Seems to me it makes it more important than it really is, but that's just an opinion. Edit to say, you can make virtually anything a "lifestyle", so whatever floats yer boat. I do think the internet has increased the popularity of the idea, making the hardcore "lifestylers" a little miffed. The negative is that it seems to build the expectations of people expecting their swinging experiences to look like porn movies. For the most part, they don't.
  5. It's before our "time" as well, but I remember swinging magazines and ads. In the end, I think people just went to clubs to meet people, which is probably still the best place to meet actual human beings. Depending on your location, the swinger sites can be boom or bust, not to mention the incredible amount of time it takes to set up a meet where everyone's schedules match. Pain in the ass.
  6. We gave it a whirl and decided it wasn't that big of a deal. She did not enjoy it much, and in the end, it's more a psychological thing, from the guys perspective. We state, "no anal", just to be up front.
  7. Adultism seems to be great, we have some there. Kellyschat forum as well, but that's about it. We removed them all from the others. The tube sites like Xhamster and others allow you to upload vids and pics, but it's like an avalanche of porn there. Just be careful what you upload, because once it's out, it's out forever.
  8. Yes, it is communicated at some level, but we try to be very open about it. If she is with someone and I get a twinge of jealousy it might make me try and out do him/her and see it as a competition. That doesn't alway happen, but it has. Some people find small amounts of jealousy sexually arousing, we do at times. There are many we know that could sit and eat a tuna sandwich while a raging gang bang is going on right next to them. We really try and avoid over exposure and attempt to keep it fresh and new so that excitement doesn't go away. A little jealousy is healthy, however it can be a slippery slope and takes really open communication to deal with it like adults.
  9. We always respond. You are under no obligation to tell them why, so don't. Just tell them you don't think you'd be compatible, no big deal. Rejection is part of the deal, whether you're in the single dating world or swinging. You just have to hope the other party handles it like an adult, and for the most part 99% of them do. btw, the wife is similar in the "quirks" dept., so I know where you are coming from. the Mr.
  10. Great stories. We come from a similar background, I suppose. I think that defining yourself as a "swinger", as opposed to just occasionally having some adult fun, is where we got hung up. Neither one of us view ourselves as swingers in the classic sense, but we enjoy the occasional sexual adventure, so taking the pressure off of the decision to make some kind of broad lifestyle choice, we view it as occasional sexual adventures. Jealousy always plays a role, it's all in how you handle it, and for us it can be a very stimulating feeling, if you know what I mean...
  11. the problem with labeling yourself "soft swap" or anything else, is that people have slightly different takes on what that means. For us, oral is much more intimate and personal than the rest of it, so we never understood the "we don't do full swap" thing, but to each their own.
  12. No means no. If you don't want to partake then he needs to come to the table and communicate and, most importantly, compromise. I know that if my wife was as disinterested as you are in swinging, I could never keep on going. Her enjoyment is a major turn-on to me and without it, there isn't much at all.
  13. We allow a little play on our own as well and I think some of those would be a little over the line, however it would depend on our communication level. We discuss everything and I, as a male, realize that sexual attraction for many women is about a romantic connection beyond the physical wham, bam, thank you 'mam. Whereas for guys, well lets be honest, we'll do it anywhere, so a little romance from another party is acceptable. It's about honesty, communication and having fun.
  14. This +1000. Life is short, and sometimes we trip on obstacles we ourselves, put in front of us. Sometimes looking at things from a different perspective makes those things seem really small.
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