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mrandmrs247

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About mrandmrs247

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/24/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    UK
  • Swinging Experience
    0

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  1. How many of you guys have actually experienced it? My wife plays with other men in fact she is at a fwb house getting fucked as I type this. One thing I can tell you is even though it's the hottest thing I've ever experienced the reality is hard to handle emotionally. Now I'm not at all jealous but I've had my moments getting here. It's a massive learning curve, but well worth it. Reclaiming your loved one is the most intense loving sex I've ever experienced. I've still yet to participate with her and her fwb but it's not far away. For her it's been a slow journey and she's not comfortable with involving me other than texting and photos. It'll bring you closer together, just like swinging does, as if you can talk about fucking someone else you can talk about anything!
  2. Thanks for that comment. It has some very good advice.
  3. Yeah. we've discussed boundaries and jealousy. It's pretty much like how you've said, no playing, leave when either of us say etc. We're going to take it slow, one step at time, so we can get used to each other being around the opposite sex. This we think will help us overcome any jealousy issues.
  4. Hi. Been a while but things have really progressed in the last few months. Our communication has now got to the point of total honesty, which has had a huge positive impact on our already great relationship. We've both openly admitted that we both want to fuck others and talked about jealousy, contraception and the risks of STDs. She has now said that she wants to visit an on premises club, which we have both chosen, and due to go next month. All this talking and openness has made our sex life rocket! Even if after our visit we decide that it's not for us, all this communication has had such a positive effect on us both!
  5. We've had a lot of conversations in the last few weeks, it's all been very good and has imo bought us closer. Now I think we've got to the bottom of her issues. She's concerned that she would 'break our rules' of not getting physical with another guy, because the idea gets her excited and she can be quite impulsive. She also knows that I find this a turn on. I am not at all jealous, which all makes her believe I would not intervene. She also says that if the female of the couple takes an interest with me she wouldn't be able to cope with the jealousy issue. This seems to be the root of the problem imo. To summarize: she would like to take things further with another guy knowing that she has my support, but is scared of doing so because in her mind it would give me license to with the female of the couple, which will make her jealous and insecure. I've talked to her about jealousy and how nothing good can come of it. How it's just an emotion that feeds on insecurities and the fear of losing a loved one to another. I've reassured her hundreds of times that I love her and would never want anyone but her, but I think with her it's more of a 'what if she's better looking, nicer body etc thing, which I don't know how to respond to. I think that now I know it's a jealousy issue with her then at least we have something to work on, as I think this is the only thing holding us back as this moment. She still wants to go to a club and admitted that she was disappointed that I cancelled, but I think I made the right decision. I've agreed to book us another night but I still have reservations after what she's told me. How do reassure her that I will not do anything to make her jealous? Also does she want her cake and eat it? Tbh I would rather her come totally clean and admit her desires. If she said ' i want to fuck another man but you can't fuck another woman then I would know where I stand.
  6. She is afraid. We've had lengthy conversations recently and she's admitted to being concerned that she may well do something she would later regret. I can't expand too much atm but will reply soon.
  7. Thx JsWife. I plan to have a good chat on Friday with her. Hopefully we'll get to the main issues she's struggling with and with all this advice I'll be able to handle it far better. I'll post the results Ty everyone.
  8. Yeah Learning thats exactly what we both agreed to do but do the hot tub and and maybe play a little with each other. I was happy to do this as was she.
  9. No she doesn't come here, I will suggest it to her. The off premise club would be a good idea; however where I live they are few and far between. I've asked her on many occasions if she wanted to visit a club and not just for me so to speak, she's always said that it's what she wants to do. As regards her willing to get intimate with another man just to please me I don't know, but I know her and she likes male attention. She's the type that is quite spontaneous and has done things without thinking them through in the past. I think this is what worries her. I agree Slevin. She is the type that would be worried at who she may become after going down this road. I just think that once I get her to be totally honest with me then we can address these issues. Thank you for all this very helpful advice btw
  10. Impatient...hmm. I don't know as if it wasn't for me suggesting visiting a club then we would still be talking about it as I don't believe she would have bought up a club. I suggested it because she asked how would we get in touch with swingers other than the internet ofc. But yeah I agree that she is probably into the lifestyle more than she's letting on or realizes. I just believe that she's not telling me the whole story, but she's the type of woman that if I asked point blank what she really wanted she wouldn't tell me because she battles with her morals and upbringing, which is a shame because if she could control these more she would be so much more contented with herself. It's only when she feels relaxed and she's in control can she truly open up. Regarding the 'precious' statement. Yes maybe she needs telling that I wouldn't love her any less if something did happen, which is totally true. I just realized the Friday night in question was the day before her period. Now I understand why she became so tearful, as she always does.
  11. Yes what you say makes a lot of sense. She must have trust issues. I wish I had foreseen this so that I could have reassured her that I would 'watch her back'. It now makes me wonder what is really going on in her head. Maybe she wants to swap but can't bring the subject up with me for fear of how I may react, and also that I may think bad of her? When I said talking about it for 2yrs I really mean talking nuts and bolts, including how this would affect our relationship. My wife was the person to bring the subject of swinging up. She talks about it more than me but it was myself that suggested visiting a swingers club. We've always stuck to the principle that we wouldn't swap, but this was my sayso and she agreed. It's only until now that she's revealed her concerns about her own self control. I wish she was totally honest and upfront with me straight off the bat so that we could have discussed this possibility instead of hitting me out of the blue! I personally find the idea of her with another man very arousing, which she knows, the reality may be another story. I've said to her that if another man flirts etc with her at a club and I was not comfortable with it then I would say so and we would not pursue this.
  12. Well first off I'll tell you a little about ourselves. We have been married 12 yrs together 15 and have, what I consider, a very strong loving committed relationship. For the past couple of years or so we have talked/fantasied about swinging up to the point where we both agreed to attend an on premise club which we had planned for the end of this month. My wife had been excited but very nervous about this, as you would expect. We had set our boundaries that we wouldn't swap but have fun with each other etc. As far as I was concerned we had communicated well and I was very honest with her. Now last Friday night after too much wine (imo) she bought the subject up and asked about the cost of the club etc at which I explained that we pay a fee for the night and if we wished to return we would pay the difference for the membership fee, now this is where her real concerns came out! She said that she was worried where this would lead as she had in her head it would be a 'one off' at which point I said "well if we have fun and enjoyed ourselves we could return". She then said that she was worried that if we made this a regular thing that we would end up swapping, to which I said we will only do what both of us are happy with. Well that's when things took a turn for the worst. She admitted to me that she was scared that she would be the one that would push the boundaries, as she's a very sexual woman and would really enjoy male attention, and knowing that I have fantasies of seeing her with another man, may do something she would regret! She said that if that happened it would 'spoil' our marriage and after I said that I would be there and would stop her doing something she said that I might not because of my fantasy. She also said that if anything happened she wouldn't feel 'precious' to me anymore and became very emotional. I reassured her, told her how much I loved her, how she would always be 'precious' to me and said that we won't go to the club as I didn't think the timing was right. I feel like 2 years of talking and this never came up until we 'booked' the date was wasted; however I'm glad it did before we ventured any further. What can I do now? As I personally see this as she's having moral issues and is concerned about her own self control. Should we just give up on the idea?
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