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MissConfused

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MissConfused last won the day on March 10 2011

MissConfused had the most liked content!

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About MissConfused

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/05/1986

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Occupation
    Stay at home Mom
  • Swinging Experience
    Actually swinging? Not long... and not swapping. Yet!

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    Only have adult friend finder site :( No clubs :(:(:(

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  1. We tried that once, telling people we thought we could trust. Heck, we even thought they might join us, not for sex but into the swinging world. That was a big no no. Turns out cheating on eachother with anyone was the way to go which is what they started to do. It makes no sense to me how swinging is 100% morally wrong, but cheating is 100% A-OK. That's completely fu@#ed right there.
  2. Together 8.5, engaged 3.5... married? Thats happening this December
  3. Lmao, the term broken is awesome!!! I always get me evil friend when play is possible . So unfair!
  4. Well then, you can mostly relate to what we're going through. Minus the hostility part. It's actually been improving though. I have less to ask about, which is a relief for me lol. Not so much hostility anymore, just polite "okays, thats not what we're looking for", which is refreshing for a change.
  5. Yes, we'd do the club and party atmospheres if they existed in our area. Canada isn't as open to the lifestyle as the US. I know there are a few clubs in Alberta, but that's also a very very long drive for us. We do have annual meets and greets, which are almost exactly like a regular dance with some booze. Nothing happens at these functions except getting to meet people. I don't know what the difference is from Canada and the US but it is difficult here. Straight couples are few and far between, hard for us to find anyways. We pay for our membership and still haven't had much luck. I wasn't complaining, I was just asking if anyone had had any hostility about not being bi. That was the original question of the post.
  6. I don't put on a show, but I tend to be louder than not. It's hard when we have to be quiet...
  7. I was going through my old posts and decided to do an update. Everything was and still is worked out. It never takes us long to solve a problem, and this was no exception. I disappeared from the boards from lack of feeling the need to be here(and a little bit of forgetting once the make up sex started). I'm back and I'm sure in time, my hubby will start asking questions and getting involved here too. Anyways, to this particular thread all we did was sit down and discuss. I calmed right down (ok, mostly right down) and when he got home we TALKED(and yes I gave him that hug I so badly wanted). I was angry he betrayed my trust and he knew he messed up. I'm sure he did it for the reasons LizandTom said but either way it still wasn't a justified or rationalized decision on his part. He apologized and we decided to go with a break. It lasted about 5 months and we still haven't played yet since getting back into the swing of things. We just lived our lives without anything to do with the LS other than talking. We discussed what we liked and what we wanted from Swinging, and single play isn't involved in that anymore. We are a couple and that's what we want to play as. He still wants me to play with men because he wants to be a part of that as well. Anywho, I hope anyone reading this learns from it. TRY to decide what you want from the LS instead of "going with the flow". It doesn't always work best and it's not always fair to one or both peoples in the relationship.
  8. Hey thanks for the compliments :) I'm sure many of us would be very interested in you updating that thread from last July. I've seen some threads come back after years on the back burner. So if you're inclined, please fill us in :)

  9. So, I was on here before with a thread that you helped me deal with a lot. I went through my old posts yesterday and realized I never did come back to tell how the situation played out.

    I had the issue of me and hubby agreeing on break and him breaking the rules.

    I recieved a lot of sound advice and had I not listened things probably would have ended badly. You did request an update and all is well... obviously :P.

    I was going to post on the thread but decided since it was last July, why bother?

    Anywho, I always appreciate it everytime you answer one of my questions or give guidance and suggestions.

    Thanks is all I wanted to say!!!

  10. Sounds like there is communication issues here already. Right now, I wouldn't persue an alternate LS. I would work more with the current communication. If he gets a disgusted tone just talking about fantasies, I honestly don't think he could really picture any situation involving more than just the two of you. Maybe you're not happy with your sex life the way it is ie bored, but it sounds as though he's fine with. Have you thought about bringing toys into the bedroom or anything like that? Not necessarily another person, but just extras that can make sex between the two of you more exciting. Before we got into the lifestyle we did things at home to improve our sexlives. Once that became almost a routine, we then decided to join an adult website and play around with camming. All in all, it lead us to where we are today. But communication is key, and I think you need to work on that first.
  11. Well we haven't had any luck yet, and we're not tryng our hardest to find it either. We know people who are searching day in and day out. We might just wait for the right ones to find us. I'm sure there's couples looking for the same things as us, but it has been a task to find any ourselves. And yeah, I'm sticking to my guns on this one. I'm not going to bend for people to have the couple experience we want to. I think that would damage the first time to the point where I wouldn't want to play with couples anymore. I think if I was more experienced with swapping it would be a different story. It's a completely different world from singles play. Even if we did find a mass amount of straight couples, we'd still be selective. Just so everyone doesn;t think we're going to jump the first straight couple we find remotely appealing. :P Again, thanks for the responses. I think up here women tend to go both ways more than other more populated places. And it IS usually couples looking for the bi or bicurious couples or females.
  12. I can understand confusion from what I've posted on these threads, but I do not put any girl girl activity in our profile. I do not want girl girl play so I do not advertise this. And in chat my previous encounters with women do not come up. I'm not anti-bi, but I won't do it to follow some sort of social standard/norm that says its ok. If I do decide to try a woman it will be for me and nobody else. When I did have my girl girl play it was for an audience and did absolutly nothing for me. I believe putting something like that in our profile would lead people to believe I am a pussy tease if you will. A wannabe bi. Maybe I should have specified better. But no, none of the people who have inquired know that I have done anything remotely sexual with a woman for the reason you stated "If they think you might they will take the chance and push forward." I'm not experienced enough with swinging to know if I want to take that leap. Thus far we have only been with males, and are thinking about branching into couples and maybe eventually females. I said I worry about bicurious and bi couples with women because there seems to be a huge amount of women in these couples who want or think they can and will "convert" me. And yes the word convert has been used. If I missed anything I'll post again. I'm beginning to think though, maybe where we are isn't the best place. We HAVE been looking into the couples in our area ourselves to see if we can find the right ones to have our first experience with. But thousands? Unlikely, definitley not here anyways. And I do not plan on changing the way we want to play. The only person I'd ever do that for is myself or my husband. But thank you to everyone who has put in their input. I appreciate every post each of you have made
  13. Thanks for the responses. Alura- By no means am I disgusted by kissing a woman, but I won't kiss just any woman either. I have to feel somewhat attracted or comfortable with her. I guess you could say "mild bi-curious" or "soft bi-curious". I'm just not interested in going down on a woman or a woman going down on me. Sure under the right circumstances it may happen but it's not what I'm actually looking for. Wifes toy- I've never been rude to anyone who asks. It usually goes like this: Them- so what kind of things are you looking at trying or what are you into? Us- We're looking for full swap, see where it goes. Them- Are both of you bi? Straight? Us- We're both straight. Them- Well that's to bad, you guys could have been what we were looking for if she was Bi. That's one of the nicer versions. We have had people come right out and say we'll have no luck what so ever with the LS. OR we had one woman say I had insecurities and maybe some body issues if I didn't want a woman to have sex with me. . Ridiculous- yes. Farfetched- I wish. I'm confused about " I wonder if your feelings are related to how men view being BI". What do you mean by that? I've never felt the need to say I'm straight so don't expect me to play with your wife. Actually, if its the man of the couple inquiring on the wifes behalf they are usually quite polite about it. Just ok, thats not what we want. Although, the husbands are also the ones who tend to try and "convince" me to play with their wives. Maybe we are attracting mean swingers....... or maybe I'm every bi womans fantasy heh heh . Kidding. I don't know. All I know is seems we get quite the negative response for not being bi. It is exhausting saying the same thing over and over again regardless when it is written in what we're looking for on our profile.
  14. This is a stronger question then my last and it has been bothering me for some time. We are 100% straight couple and we've received quite a bit of grief because of it. Recently, we decided we wanted to experiment with couples. We've had numerous chances in the past to act on this but weren't ready to take that route. Anyways, as our search started and progressed, we found it is almost a bad thing to be a straight couple. Mainly with the female halves of other couples. We receive numerous messages and IM's stating they would love to get together with us and the question that always comes up is our sexuality. We are immediately shut down when it is voiced that we're straight OR I'm insulted to the point where I want to retaliate with the meanest come backs possible. I haven't but its tough when it's being dished out for absolutely no reason. I guess I don't know what to do. We look for straight couples but their few and far between. It says right in our profile in BOLD letters that we are both straight and not looking to experiment with bi sexuality right now. You could say I'm high school bi, I'll kiss a girl and might fondle but I'm not into leading people on, nor do I want it to seem the chance of it going any further is there, so it's not included in our profile. Another thing we get is the couples who are OK with us being straight, slowly bring into the conversation that they would like me to have an open mind and consider trying the woman of the couple out. Makes me nervous to play with any couples with the words bi or bi-curious in them. It's not what I want nor what I am looking for right now. Has anyone else ever had this problem? We've already stated what we are and what we're looking for. We've told interested parties what's in our profiles and then get grief for it. It's very confusing and frustrating. When voiced on our local swinger board we were told I needed to convert to get anywhere in the swinging world. We'd be one lonely couple if I didn't at least go bi curious. :confused: We want to have fun with other couples, but not if it means I have to change what I like or try to like something I'm not interested in. In time, my views may change but right now they are what they are. Does anyone else out there have these issues?
  15. We've hit this snag before. And it was awkward the whole way it happened. Next time we're going to be blunt. If that's what we're all there for we'll skip the 3 hour small talk. Kind of funny the very first time. Was with a single male who had played before but he didn't know what was appropriate with a newb couple. It was literally, 3 hours of the boys talking(not about sex either mind you) and nobody making a first move. So I did. It wasn't the mfm we wanted but hubby got his first taste of watching his wife in action. He said he loved it regardless. Still debating on a couple full swap. We'll have a plan if and when that happens.
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