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funat40

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About funat40

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  • Birthday 01/08/1969

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    Couple
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    New Hampshire

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  1. We're in sort of the same situation as well. All I can say is: best of luck! It is SO much easier for women in the lifestyle than it is for men. There's no comparison. At all. I sucked at picking up women as a single guy, and it's not like I've had a lot of practice over the past 20 years, so whatever "skills" I ever owned in that area have only further eroded since then! Re. the wedding ring question, there is a very interesting thread somewhere on this board that debates whether married guys playing separately are better off wearing the ring and "pretending" to be cheating on their wives. The consensus seems to be that women prefer married men who are cheating to those who are in open marriages.
  2. I think this is another one of those double standards where if a woman is a bit "forward", she's considered to be sexy and confident (and perhaps a little "slutty", which is usually a compliment.) But if a man does it, he's usually considered to be "pushy" or "aggressive." However, I've also read comments from women here on this board who complain that the men they meet in the lifestyle are too docile and polite, and that it's a bit of a turn-on when a man shows immediate attraction/interest in them. I think the bottom line for both men and women is physical attraction. If an attractive person makes an aggressive first move, it'll probably be received favorably. But if an unattractive person were to make the same move, he/she would be considered to be "too aggressive" and a major turn-off. The safe play is always to play it cool and polite -- unless you know for certain the other person is really into you. The attractive person will usually remain a consideration, regardless of first impressions. And the unattractive person may become attractive once you get to know him/her.
  3. Welcome to the club, laser. It's happened to me before (even to the point where I actually ejaculated without being hard), and it's happened to almost every guy we've been with so far. It's so common, it makes you wonder why we guys do this at all! The good news is that if you keep doing it, you'll push your way through it eventually. It's a mental block. You just have to keep thinking positively, relax, and live in the moment. I'm guessing this happened to you as soon as you put the condom on. That's when the troubles begin for me. After not using condoms for 17+ years, using one now is a major turn-off and distraction. But it's an unfortunate necessity.
  4. It is so interesting to hear all these opinions about a married guy who wants to play alone, with his wife's permission. If this situation were reversed, no one would think twice about it. In fact, there's are two words (hotwifing and cuckholding) invented to describe this practice, because it is so "common." But when the situation is reversed, people worry about how the wife really feels about it, and advise caution. Why the double-standard? Why is it perfectly acceptable for a wife to play alone, but a husband is expected to either play with his wife or not at all?
  5. What a nightmarish situation. No one should ever feel "forced" to do anything they don't want to do in a swinging situation (or any other situation.) My wife and I have a standing agreement that if we're ever in a situation where one of us isn't completely comfortable with what is happening, we immediately make an excuse to duck away in private, and then find a way to escape gracefully. In this situation, I would have made some excuse (too much to drink, don't feel well, gotta go) and we would've bolted the minute the guy dropped his shorts and revealed that he wasn't what she thought he was.
  6. Hi, guys. Long-time lurker, first-time poster. My wife and I have shared a long-time fantasy involving her blowing a room full of guys. Until recently, this was nothing more than a fantasy we would share in the "heat of the moment." But recently, we decided to turn this fantasy into a reality. We recruited a bunch of single guys from a popular swinger's web site, picked a date, and planned to book a hotel room. However...the closer we got to this date, the colder our feet became. So we contacted all the guys to let them know the "event" has been put on hold. The issue for us is the threat of contracting some nasty STD. We've done extensive reading on the subject, and every legitimate site advises you to never have oral sex without a condom, dental dam, etc.. But let's face it -- they HAVE to give you that advice. Of course there is a risk of contracting an STD through oral sex, and to advise someone to have unprotected oral sex would be considered reckless. But realistically, no one wants to use a condom or dental dam for oral sex. (It would ruin our fantasy, frankly.) No couple we have ever been with has used protection for oral sex. And no one really knows the risk factors involved in having unprotected oral sex (because most people don't limit their exposure to only oral sex.) In reality, some STD's can (and are) transmitted through kissing, hot tubs and even skin-to-skin contact. And statistics show that more than half the people in the US over age 21 have some form of STD. Some STD's don't show up in testing, and others don't reveal themselves through symptoms for weeks, months or even years (if ever.) So most people with STD's don't even know they have them! We've also read that when performing unprotected oral sex, it is safest to either swallow the cum immediately (letting the stomach acid kill the bacteria) or spit it out immediately. Either way, you are risking exposure to STD's through the exchange of bodily fluids and the thin membranes in the mouth and throat. So, whether you spit, swallow or stop before it gets to the point, you are equally at risk. The thing is, as swingers, she has sucked several dicks without protection. Were they safer because they were married dicks? Are married guys safer than single guys? If a married guy's wife sucked a dozen dicks the week before you met them, wouldn't having sex with her be just as risky as sucking a dozen dicks yourself? I guess my question is: is there any more risk in blowing a room full of single guys than having sex with a married couple who may have had unprotected sex with dozens of others prior to meeting you? Is there a "safe way" to fulfill this fantasy of ours? Or are some fantasies better left as fantasies? You all give great opinions here, and we value your advice. Thanks in advance.
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