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dulciprajna

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dulciprajna last won the day on November 20 2009

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About dulciprajna

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/21/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Couple
  • Location
    Kentucky
  1. A couple contacted me on SLS asking if I wanted to play w/them, even though they were 90 mins away by car. I was cool with that (the town I live in has NO ONE playing afaik). Plans were set last weekend, and wifey and I talked about it quite a bit before I went. Everything with us was cool, even excited because of it. I went last night to this. What was supposed to be the couple and up to 6 other guys, I ended up being the only one that showed up, which, tbh, was more comfortable for me. I was exploring two regions of myself I had never explored before: Playing w/o my wife, and playing bi. I ended up having some performance anxiety issues. The couple was great, we had a wonderful time, but I was unable to cum w/o self stimulation, and I had difficulties keeping it up. I am 33, btw... The only other time this has happened is the first few times we played together with other couples. So for those of you who have read this far, how have you overcome "stage fright" and similar? Also, I haven't had need of a condom for 4 years (since I got a vasectomy) and curious if other have had to get over this and how they did? I have been reading quite a bit online about it today, but I would like some direct stories from other swingers as most the info online is not geared towards open relationships and I am sure I am not the only one who has had issues like this when playing...
  2. Life is really neat, and interesting how chains of events leads to things you would have never seen coming. This weekend was the best damn weekend my wife and I have ever had "being social", in general. She was never much for going out to just be social when we met, and I stressed that I found it important and that our children would not live sheltered from society but socialized to it. Going out, though, to a party is just something we rarely have the opportunity to do, but the night culminated there. I promised details, and I will in this post (though, not exactly direct explicits). When we last left this story, I had heard from my wife that a chance at a threesome was on the table for her, her friend I dropped off with her when I went to get the kids on Friday, and the "boytoy". To help out going forward, I will call wifey = "dulcinea", gf = "Anna" (after Anna Pavlova, the dancer), and boy toy = "Joe" (after Joe Satriani, the guitarist). Okay, so we will start the "perfect date day" with my children being picked up by my mother. We were left w/our oldest child, who was going to go see her father. Dropped her off, then we decided to look into costumes for the evening, as several of the places we were going were going to be costume parties. We find our outfits and head on. I got a costume that my wife has begged me to do for years now, Captain Jack Sparrow. I must say I pulled it off great! After getting the costumes we headed to lunch: hot wings and beer at BWW, which is one of the few bars in town you can smoke in still! After this, we headed back to the house, had some afternoon fun, and took a nap. Woke up at 530, got into our outfits and headed out to the roller derby meet! We got to see a lot of our friends, many whom had been looking for my wife as they had not seen each other in a long while. Anna was one of the "zombie cheerleaders" that was at the bout. We asked her what she was doing afterwards, and she told us of a party she was going to that was 45 mins north of here, but she did not have directions and would not be driving there. So, we left the game w/about 5 minutes left, as it was a blow out by then, and we headed to the Olive Garden for a romantic meal between two pirates (argh!).... Great meal, and we rarely get to go out like this, so we savored this (total foreplay in our minds). We happened to have a waiter who I worked with a few years back, so that was a happy added surprise. Anyhow, we leave and head back to the car to contemplate our options. Option one was to head back to my apartment, and just stay there for the evening. Option two was to go to this party 45 mins north, but we were both now fairly tired. So, I called a friend and asked him for some stuff that would help keep us awake for the evening, and he just happened to be heading to Olive Garden (the Lord provides), so we wait for just about 5-10 mins longer, and he shows up and gives me what we needed. We head back to our apartment, do half of what my friend gave me (waking us up), take the rest with us, and call Anna for directions, as she would be at the party by then. We get directions from a friend of Anna's at the party, and the directions were actually REALLY REALLY good . We show up and head in to find everyone we knew. Within 15 minutes of showing up, we run into Anna and Joe, and we all end up back in our car. The ladies (Dulcinea and Anna) are in the back seat, and Joe and I are in the front (Honda CRV). Almost immediately upon getting into the car, Anna JUMPS Dulcinea! She had been forward with Dulcinea before that, and my original assumption was correct: Anna's hubby had no issues with Anna playing with Dulcinea, but I could not touch (but I was allowed to watch, and that was just fine with me). Joe kinda shocked me, but it makes sense in hindsight. He didn't even really look back at them while they were playing, but made comments from time to time, including, "man... the party is in THIS CAR tonight!!!" which we all chuckled at. However, Joe (knowing that he can play if he wants w/my wife) did not act on this simply because it was my wife that approached him. I believe the one who initiates the whole conversation is generally expected to be the one in control, but Dulcinea is not like that, so Joe instead just looked forward, occasionally looking in the backseat to see the fun going on. What was so beautiful was that first, because of the moon roof, their bodies were drenched in the light of a nearly full moon, so even though its fairly dark in the car, there would be a flash of a tattoo, or a piercing. Granted, I can see great in the dark, so I saw everything happening, but the moonlight made a hot experience that much sexier. This was my wife's cherry for giving oral to another woman, and she greatly loved it. She has always hesitated before to reciprocate in years past when we had played before with couples, but there was zero hesitation here. Dulcinea needed her first (at least) to be with someone who she was familiar with and felt close to was needed for her, and Anna offered just that. To both Dulcinea's and my surprised, Dulcinea giving to Anna was the first time Anna had received from someone she was playing with! The whole situation was magical, and a beautiful thing to witness! We stayed probably another three hours or so after that at this party. Dulcinea and I are not big drinkers, but most everyone else there was getting stupid drunk, so eventually, tired from dancing, singing, fucking (at least for my wife), we left to come back home, showing up here at 430am, spending the next two hours playing in the bedroom together. The whole evening was a total magical experience, and I hope to be able to share in something like that again with me wife as soon as possible. As for Joe, I have a feeling that unless Dulcinea basically grabs him and "Dominates" the whole situation, that will be a long time coming. I know Joe enjoyed being in the car and watching Dulcinea and Anna, but I think he was scared to literally turn around and watch, as though it would be rude, or that a "gentleman" wouldn't do that, kinda thing. It didn't add anything weird in the air. Just whoa-wow-whoa for this experience! We are so thankful that all that came together for us to be able to do that, and our love was not effected negatively about this for anything. I think the closeness we have is one of my biggest driving forces in this open lifestyle idea, and so long as that keeps getting stronger and stronger, and the communication keeps getting better and better, I don't see us moving away from the lifestyle anytime soon.
  3. Not sure what has happened just yet (if anything yet). I have a feeling that if that were to go down, she would only interact w/my wife, and (knowing what I know of her), she wouldn't do anything w/o hubby being okay with it. She was on the phone w/him at least twice while we were on the ride up there. My wife knows how to avoid drama, and that situation COULD be drama bigtime, so I don't see her crapping the bed for the experience here. We've come a long way, and we're not ruining it while we are still opening up to the whole idea.
  4. Well, that which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger Honestly, I look for the silver lining in all things, and I can definitely say that our love has grown extremely strong since me leaving, which was opposite of what I thought would happen. Our communication is rock solid, and roles and identities seem to be much more defined now than they have been. Its really been a blessing.
  5. Update: Wow... Yesterday my wife and I talked and she wanted to know if I could give a friend of hers from HS a ride when I come to get the kids so that they can go together to the show. Had no issue, and I knew the girl in passing and from what Sue told me about her. The ride from where I am to home is 2.5 hrs, so we had plenty of time to get to know each other. Great girl, beautiful, smart, social, and so at some point the conversation quickly went to sex and the whole open idea came up. She was more of the bi nature and her hubby is only comfortable w/her playing w/other girls, but we got all the gears rolling for sure... Well, now my wife just msg'd me saying the show is over and that a threesome happening with her, the girl I drove up, and the boy toy. This is really really turning my crank like you wouldn't think. When I got up there, wife and I got a few mins to ourselves, so we got to have fun, even if it was just a quickie. I can't wait to hear from her later tonight!!!!
  6. Not Friday yet, so no updates yet, but slevin asked why I don't go home more often... Um, I dunno if you remember much about being in school, but generally you don't have much money, and I am lucky that I get to go home every other weekend. Doing this whilst raising 3 kids?! Are you nuts? We are doing this basically on my wife's income and my student loans ONLY... Glad to hear, though, that you had the opportunity to get home more often than I can. Still, though, I must say that when we are together, whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-mama... We would be millionaires if someone would video that stuff, hehehehe...
  7. Hello: We are not very active members on these forums, but browse from time to time. Just some background on this as it adds to the pure excitement of this. We have played off and on in the lifestyle for about two years. We never really found a couple that clicked w/us as a couple. We kinda soft swapped a few times, but nothing serious. Mainly same room and similar ideas. Fast forward about two years since we started. My wife and I are separated by a 2.5 hour drive by car as I am in school whilst she stays home w/the kids, working. We have discussed playing alone (considering the distances anyway), and the fact that we both fantasize about this. For most of the first few years of us playing, I believed my wife's curiosity of the lifestyle was to experiment on her bi side, but she never really pursued that when given the opportunity. As she became more comfortable and open towards me, it became evident that her fantasies really involved men well more than it ever did women. Being in school now for about two months, and granted, we do see each other maybe every other weekend, the idea was given the go ahead to play around with finding possible partners to play with. Both whom I have approached so far down here (I am very picky) said no, but were flattered at the offer. This past Friday, my wife met a musician at a concert she went to and she was very attracted to him. Said he was similar build to me, we are both string musicians and she loves to watch our fingers move the neck, and he was someone she new in elementary school years ago. She propositioned him earlier today and he's cool with playing. This will be the first honest possibility for my wife to play "hard swap" so to speak, though I will not be there. Its really turning my crank (I'm aroused just writing this article). She will see him again this coming Friday and I will be meeting him on Saturday when she comes down here for a party that he will be at. The excitement of this is just crazy cool to me. I will write more about this as it develops, including partners I get as well. On a side note, its so weird just how close your love grows when the relationship opens like this. I find our communication to be stronger than ever, and our hearts are close, even though we have 2.5 hrs between us. For whatever reason, talking about such fantasies, and then seeing them becoming implemented brings us infinitely closer, and the communication feels almost pure, without interpretations, and full of love. Anyhow, if you all would be interested in seeing how this develops for us, I will be happy to continue to post here on how its worked and what pitfalls or benefits we get from it.
  8. Okay, so some history on me. When I was in High School, close to 20 years ago, I experimented on both sides of the fence, including trying oral w/another guy. In the end of this experimentation I determined that I was straight as I am not interested in having/receiving anal sex with another guy (and its not my thing with women either), and oral isn't as pleasurable for me as is vaginal sex. Okay, again, close to 20 years later and my wife and I are somewhat in the lifestyle of swinging (which we ran into from the BDSM lifestyle, but that's another topic altogether). At some point in the whole swinging conversations Mrs. Dulci and I have, she suggested that she would like to see me be with another man. This really just put me in a total sweat, and at first I respectfully declined. Mrs Dulci was already aware of my "experimenting" in high school well before ever asking this. But I had quite a bit of time to think about it. Really, it turns me on that it is a turn on for her (we are very connected in feelings and emotions), and secondly, okay, I can handle having a cock in my mouth. I am NOT interested (again) in anal, giving or receiving. I have really explored the feelings of anal penetration with my wife (buttplugs, dildos, and the like), and though it is somewhat pleasurable, I really really REALLY have to be in the right mood for it, and this is few and far between. However, there is far more of a social stigma attached to homosexual sex in society in general (including in the swinger sub culture) than there is for lesbian sex. To bring this up in the lifestyle is very very scary because it can definitely break a hookup deal for the evening that was a sure thing beforehand. I personally have yet to find the guy to help fill this fantasy for my wife and I. I am kinda excited about it to be honest, that I can explore this again w/the consent of my wife, and I have gotten over my social stigmas about it. If it is going to happen it will happen. If its not, it won't, and so be it. You can tell when playing w/a couple how, um, bi the male is fairly quickly. Gaydar works, imho, 90% of the time for me, and in swinging situations, I was correct both times my gaydar went off. Granted, the male was bi (not gay), but the signals were there. Unfortunately I am no where near attracted to the men in either of those situations that I would consider doing that w/them. In one couple, they came straight out and asked because Mrs Dulci and I were talking about playing w/a buttplug we have become fond of, and dropping hints like that is fairly benign in any swinger situation. The other couple I had my suspicions and once we found them on Swing Lifestyle, this suspicion was confirmed. Really, the main couples we don't wanna bring up the conversation with are couples whose man is a homophobe. I am not name calling here, but there are men out there that don't wanna see it, hear about it, definitely don't wanna participate in it, and do not want to be suggested to participate in it either. Its like if you ask them their orientation, they are almost offended you'd ask. I will not pass judgement on them, but I find it strange to react so harshly towards the lifestyle considering that the whole swinging lifestyle is just as taboo within the culture. I am comfortable w/my sexuality, and I realize that as I have matured, my sexuality has also. If your real question is, "could I be bi now? I didn't think I was..." then my answer is quite frankly, yes. Things change as they mature, and our sexuality is no different. On a side note: bi people have more options at parties. One plus to the whole bi thing which I somewhat envy...
  9. I think to really answer this question, Poly needs a solid definition. Poly is a catchall for anything outside of general swinging. Chicup, I have to say that I and my wife are on the fence on this idea, but your last quote there was borderline offense to me. I am not offended, of course, as these are the internetz and Lord knows I have heard and seen far far worse. My definition of the poly relationship is where both a strong emotional and sexual bond occurs in at least one person with multiple partners in full consent and knowledge of partners at the same time. Sometimes poly will be of a group where all have a strong emotional and sexual bond with each other, and some are polygynous or polyandrous where many individuals have a strong sexual and emotional bond to one person, but only an emotional bond between each other. In any case the bonding between all forms a family. No such group is setup w/o a pecking order, though. The ideal might be near equal love, but the reality is, this is not possible for multiple reasons. 1) we are not all the same, therefore the love one would have for the other is dependent on how we mesh and this is unique to each relationship -AND- 2) Sorry, but groups naturally fall into alphas, betas, on down to omegas. Humans organize themselves that way naturally in any situation. Therefore I would think that equal love would fail to actually occur. Of the poly relationships I have seen work (one triad, one couple/couple), they definitely were a "family" in both cases, but there was a pecking order. I think this would be poly, as they supported one another, spent most of their times together, etc etc. I just don't think its possible to extend the ideals a one on one relationship into a group ideal. There is an order of pecking, and I think that would imply that the love cannot be equal and never can be completely achieved. What do I know, though. I have never actually participated in such a relationship. This ideal does intrigue my wife and I, though.
  10. I would say that for my wife and I, a poly relationship makes more sense than just random ppl. We have two routes to do this. One is starting w/a couple and making that long term, then turning that into true, co-habitation, polyamory type relationship. The other idea is a roommate whom evolves into a poly type relationship with us. For us, the extra emotional baggage that is picked up is far out weighed by the drama and cause for concern that random individuals can bring into the situation. I think the whole poly idea we became accustomed to when we were Mormon for a time and did research as to why poly relationships were not only supported by the early church, but very openly spoken about. The biggest tradeoff is that if anything catastrophic were to happen to one adult, the rest are still there to keep the family stable. Dunno. I know were are strange for this in most swinger circles we've been in.
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