CockStamper

LMAO .....leaving it there was an oversight, and am not sure how that brings you to your conclusion. I don't even know what to say to this...Now I'm being attacked for confidence...sheesh.....I'm not saying I wrote the book, that was done by the greats who proceeded me. But I am a student of the game, and feel that I have obtained all-pro status. With that being said, I am done with this thread. I will move on from this topic, and become a productive member of this board regardless of attitudes towards me, or those like me. For those who can forgive me for my initial transgressions, and will judge me based off of the overall content of my posts: THANK YOU...For those who can't: oh, well. I guess our paths are not meant to cross. Good luck to you. Peace.

That is what my SLS profile says, and it was written before I had an understanding of what this all entailed. So my profile shows that...so what? I've stated repeatedly that I have no experience in all this, and am exploring the context of it all...BEFORE jumping into a scenario that is not right for me. I admitted that my knowledge of this culture was limited to what are probably wrong-headed preconceived notions, and my own selfish desires. And honestly that profile was copy & pasted from a CL ad that I posted. Before I got here, and before I started to understand, and gain a legitimate respect for the culture. To me it's like anything else...the reasons for why you become interested in a subject are not necessarily that important. They can vary greatly. But what IS important is how you approach learning about and respecting that subject. Meaning: You wouldn't expect someone to know the rules of football if they had never played the game before. And you wouldn't expect them to run out on the field and start trying to run the offense...But if they expressed an interest in the game because for whatever reason they were drawn to it, you would probably teach them how to play. Not make them feel like a pariah for being curious about the sport. This is my current profile description on here and a much more respectful approach. Written after considering the gravity of peoples opinions, and attitudes. AND this is a PM that I sent in response to an ad I saw posted on here...Both of these are indicative of my shift in attitude since coming here....Does that mean I don't like the above things listed in my SLS profile? Hell NO!...But I NOW understand that that is not what all this is about (again it might be for some;)) But it probably is not for most.... To go back to the sports analogies for a second: just because I like to play football, doesn't mean I can't learn how to play golf too.... I'm not going anywhere.... I'm enjoying the mental stimulation too much.

These are all valid points, that I appreciate hearing in a concise, cogent manner. The only thing that really jumped out to me was #5, and the reason is that that one touched a nerve. I will tell you why I would rather swing than have a "girlfriend" that swings.... The truth is that I just don't want the attachment that all that brings. After being married for 5 years I have made the conscious decision not to jump right into another committed situation. I have enough responsibilities between a job, single fatherhood as the primary custodial parent, and a music career that has helped me travel the world...that a girlfriend now...after just coming off a 5 year marriage that ended poorly is just not an option.... BUT I am not a slime ball. My interest also isn't in the one-night stand, shallow under-belly of drunken lust that takes place in bars everywhere....I'm not ugly. I can get laid....But I shouldn't have to degrade myself to that scene either. I find that that scene is strife with lies, and falsehoods carried out to get to the business. And I hate that pretense...it just seems immature to me. I shouldn't have to get a girl drunk and pretend to be interested in her stories if they're not interesting because that is the American tradition of seduction. Then in the morning pretend like I'm gonna call her, and leave with a half-hearted smile on my face. I'd rather deal with people who are upfront about what they want. The former is just not my way...

???????? This was vague...lol...

You, as always have made perfect sense. And I understand that sensitivity. The LS is a fringe culture that is vastly misunderstood outside of it's village walls. And I understand that there must be a dual sense of liberation, and insecurity that may come along with sharing your mate, to either side of the fence. That should always be respected. A SM's intent should never be to come between a couple, but to share with a couple.... This shit is INTENSE...I love it... Thanks mix!

WOW....there are so many things wrong with that last stement that I will go through it piece by piece and dismantle it..... It's not your place to say what the LS is for other people. For some SM, it may just be that. A place to find women to have sex with, but in a different environment that they may feel more comfortable in...How can you possibly define another persons experience? For couples YES, but singles ARE a part of the culture.So to feel as if there perspective is not something that should be respected is a fairly irresponsible attitude to take...it would seem to me that you would be asking for trouble with such an elitist point of view. Here you say some valid things (which I will address), but I would hope that not all share your belief that single males are nothing more than a "Talking Dildo"...I mean seriously, is this the level of discussion you want to have? It seems rather crass, and unfortunate that you would say such a thing.... NOW the point of your interactions being on your terms would depend on many things, but I assume would generally be the observed standard. The nature of 2 on 1 would pretty much make that evident. But again these are the types of things I assume would be discussed when guidelines, and rules were laid down...again this would be more of preferences thing. Some couples may want to be dominate, others may want to watch, some may want to be dominated....just like any other situation. AGAIN, crass, immature and unfortunate...I would hope this is not a common belief held in the LS. And from what I've read on here, there is much more of a sense of community than those statements indicate. This is maybe the most reasonable statemant made during your reply, although I would say that this is probably not an absolute truth... Never said anything of the sort regarding sluts, or desperation. That is your own insecurity coming to light....And this is the most imporatant line of my whole response....I am not some loser who is "striking out in the vanilla world"...I am in the bullpen practicing my pitches. I am in no rush. All things come in due time. That's why I am here... You can heave personal attacks at me all you want, you won't scare me away. I am intrigued beyond belief. And will continue to learn. Period.

As a beginner you start out at the most rudimentary level, (Unless you know someone who can pull you into it, which I assume is rare.) searching craigslist. And the disproportionate amount of mw4m to mw4w is staggering. That in and of itself wouldn't be shocking. But then you probably start to look into swingers clubs, and realize there is no place for you in those places either, because every one I looked at clearly stated that single men we're not allowed. But single women were often admitted at either a discount, or free. Then when I joined SLS (I am not a paying member yet, can't afford it at this moment) I saw the same thing regarding profiles I looked at....many if not most, stated that single men were not wanted....so it is easy to question whether or not there is place for you in the LS, when you are a single male. Again, I'll go back to intentions. Most of our intentions are the same....sex. I could be wrong here, and if so please tell me...but if I was a single woman, the only thing you'd really care about was whether or not I was crazy and would cause you drama and headaches. And whether you were attracted to me....Not what my intentions were....But the same does not apply to men. and THAT I judge off of the defensive reactions I have gotten here. I mean look at this beating a dead horse thread that is now 3 pages long....that has to validate my point somewhat, right? fun4ds: you act like I'm "taking notes" and trying to pull the wool over someones eyes to disguise my assholishness, but that is just simply not the case. I am trying to be respectful and learn.

You are incorrect. I haven't really tried to initiate anything with anyone. I decided it was smart to come here, and learn about the LS before dabbling. I was mostly talking about swing clubs exclusion of men...and the things I've seen on SLS, or random Craigslists posts. I'm sorry if my generalizations have caused controversy. It was not my intention. But I am glad I posted on here. It has been very informative. And I've already learned a ton. And feel I will be greatly prepared for whenever an opportunity arises.

lmfao....that's crazy. CockStamper is really just a funny mix of words my cousin came up with. I adapted it as a nickname, when I started an new email to be used for all "ADULT" activities. I thought it was funny. And oddly appropriate... I wish I had a great story to go along with it.

Congrats...I've heard of a Christian Adult bookstore here in Jersey. I've never been to it, but I plan to get there sooner than later.

HAHAHA...That sequence of emoticons are great! mixtupcpl: I see what you're saying....What it really all comes down to is respect, communication, and preference. If a single male follows the guidelines dictated by those factors, there is no reason he can't be a successful participant in the LS. AND I agree with you that most SM arent wired this way, but I'll expand that to state those most single PEOPLE aren't wired that way. That includes the single ladies...but the attitude towards them really does come down to supply and demand.

So what EXACTLY makes a guy a slimeball? Define what the "right & "wrong" intentions are? "Intentions" is a word that gets used often on this board, so I am just looking for definition...the reason I press this point, is that it would seem from the poll posted in another section of this board that the primary objective of people here is SEX....by a 2-to-1 margin, so we're not really talking about intentions, as much as etiquette, right?....Mixtupcpl, you challenged me yesterday, so I expect something good outta you... Give me an account of a bad experience, or something someone did to make you feel like they had crossed the lines of etiquette...just being curious. I am here to learn. And I am really enjoying the nuances of all this...the devil is in the details;)

Hey, thanks to everybody involved for beating a dead horse...apparently this horse can still run...lol. Especially thanks to mixtupcpl for posing an important question which forced me to analyze my positions from a thoughtful perspective....I will learn.

I can appreciate what your saying, but if you go to the introduction thread I started after this, you'll see that you are probably wrong about my intentions. I'll let that thread speak for itself. I have been very open there, and you can feel free to go read it if you so choose. But as I stated, I am not some maverick who thinks I am gods gift to women or anything like that. I am an old soul. I got married young and was prepared to live my life out with one person. And was damaged by my experience. Now I'm trying to find my own liberation through having survived that situation. Often I find people my age, and younger to be shallow. Not just in what they want physically, but also just what they desire in life in general. There is a whole generation of people who lack any real in-depth experiences. And therefore I find it hard to relate to them. I more comfortable talking to a forty year old that a 20 year old, and it's been that way my whole life really...Old Soul. I guess my impressions of people in the LS would have to be considered general. Because to be honest I don't really know any practitioners. I can only speak on what I had hoped. Which was that they would be honest, open-minded people who saw you for who you are, once accepted into their fold. I don't think it's all about sex even. I understand that there is sense of community and belonging, that comes with being a part of it. This is a fringe culture that has many mainstream detractors, so respect for the principles of the culture is an important tenant.

^^^Thank you for being helpful rather than confrontational. I appreciate it.