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HisnHersnYours

Registered
  • Content Count

    16
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About HisnHersnYours

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/04/1973

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple/Married/Bi-Female
  • Location
    Nor Cal
  • Interests
    Anything in the outdoors, camping, fishing, etc. travel...last minute road trips to somewhere we've never been. Friends....drinks, dinner, comedy clubs, overnight wknds in reno for an adult evening. Family...spending time with our kids, vacations.
  • Swinging Experience
    newbie

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Hisnhersnyours
  1. Everything went great. She did not stay the night but hubby and I were in agreement that we would have liked her to. I think in the future, it wont be such an issue for us. Where some couples may want the rest of the evening to process we will enjoy the time spent with our "playmates" and figure we can process when we get home. lol.
  2. you are probably right. i make no secret when i first meet a female that we as a couple take it slow, its in my profile. she was okay with that from the start. we met only once, which is probably why it surprised me that she alluded to staying the night (we had not offered that, we simply said we'll be in reno, lets have some drinks) im not disalusioned as far as i realize most people are ready to play with ppl they dont know. where one person can play on the spot of a meeting, i maybe need to meet them twice before. unless ive gotten to know you pretty well on the phone or email (like in this case-once all this came up we've spent a LOT of time talking-and now im pretty ready to go) on a side note, i spoke with hubby and he personally doesnt care if she sleeps over. i let him read the advice given here and he sees its all good advice but at the same time he's open that if things go well, he has no problem with her staying the night with us. (that is actually what happened on my one on one with previous girl but i did know her pretty well prior) this is so new to me, the threesome thing...i have to take into account our feelings as a couple (yes it would be nice to have alone time to process and have our own fun), and her feelings as a single female (the last thing i want is for her to feel used, EVEN though we all realize this is a no strings scenerio, i get where OP is coming from). im learning as i go along and theres been so much great advice. i suppose where i am now with it is we will see what happens. if things are going well and we all connect, if there comes a point where i get protective of her (and i tend to do that), we may just invite her to stay the night after all. i wont say anything about it now, i'll look like a scatter brain. we will see what happens and i'll let you know how it turns out (if she stays or not). Just to explain further, she has stated since talking it all through she is more excited than nervous now, as are we.
  3. Im in total agreement with you on that one. well everything is cleared up. we talked and shes still very excited, not offended i offered a room but she did decline and offered to drive home. that is her perogative. i dont drink much anyway so it wont be a big deal to go easy for her sake. sounds like she is looking forward to it just as much as us, should be a fun evening!
  4. the funny thing about that is i was the one who opened that can of worms and told her that full on sex may not neccessarily happen that i wanted to take it slow. so my thinking is i dont want to waste her time and her money on something that may not happen. i would feel horrible if she got a room, wanted sex and things didnt go that far, which is why i offered. but she was of the same mind as me in saying we will take the evening as it comes. so as far as expectations, there are none. boy this is more complicated than i thought. LOL.
  5. after speaking with her again about the extra room i get the feeling she is a bit disappointed. she mentioned a couple times its no problem to drive home that its not that much of a hassle. i dont know if its because she wanted to stay with us or because she's worried about us spending the money on her. even so she does still want to get together and is being very understanding about my reasons. i mentioned if we have drinks it would be best if she didnt drive and that we'd love to get her a room if she'd like. so shes going to think about it and thats where we are at. snow white, i do understand where you are coming from. im imagining a single female could be thinking a number of different things. its possible it doesnt even occur to her to pay (people are different and it doesnt mean shes a bad person), its possible friends are telling her its right for us to pay (these friends could be vanilla as well and are thinking in dating terms), she could be new to this lifestyle and only have experiences where dates have paid and not know any different. A lot of people when they are the ones doing the inviting (like on a date) they do the paying. like in this case. and of course we didnt think anything of it because we already expected it of ourselves. i dont know my head is spinning on this one, but im glad you spoke your mind. its important to get all perspectives. so you thoughts are welcome on this thread *hugs*
  6. wow! so many responses! thanks so much for all the great advice! i'll admit when you join a new forum there's always that initial worry what the ppl will be like and everyone here is so nice and helpful, so thanks. To start, DH and i didnt even have to discuss much about who picks up the tab, we both pretty much assumed we are the couple, she is the single female, we pay. like i said, we've NEVER done this and i was actually surprised to read that single females shouldnt expect the couple to pay. we just figured that was the norm. either way, we plan on paying. The plan is taking her to eat, then for drinks, then back to the room. we just hadnt planned on an extra hotel room. On the subject of sleepovers, i would have to say i really like the suggestion of another room. the OP hit the nail on the head concerning the "after glow", the sex between him and i later & the next morning awkwardness. that makes a lot of sense to me. i did talk to her and she said all cute like "i could always drive home if thats an issue, i dont want you uncomfortable at all" i kept thinking *shes adorable!* "no we DONT want you to go home!" it does take me a bit longer to get to the full on sex, thats my hangup (probably because its our first time, the one on one with previous girl and i was much easier and WAS more of a "woo'ing" type situation) i guess i am more of the "woo'er". she was totally okay with taking it a bit slower and going with the vibe of the night. looking back at our conversation she is so down to earth and easy going it really makes me want her more. as ive said for me attraction isnt all about looks and i found when i first told her i had to take it slow, after we talked about it, im pretty much full on ready now. LOL. so im going to call the hotel and ask for an extra room, i do think that would be best. we will foot the bill because thats just how my husband is. but i can see why this lifestyle is expensive, at this rate we wont be able to play as often maybe as we like. i did hear julie that it doesnt have to be that way, unfortunately for us it does, my husband wouldnt have it any other way. he's a southern gentleman at heart. so problem solved. this place is awesome! its like overnight answers, i LOVE it! cant say thank you enough
  7. I've mentioned in our introduction that we were seeing a girl we met at SLS. We had one date, just lunch, to check each other out and make sure this was someone we did in fact want to play with. *Hubby and I have a deal, at least for our first time, that we would meet the girl in a no pressure atmosphere then talk about it privately if we want to proceed* We had 2 nights comped in Reno 2 weeks ago so we thought we would meet her the first day for lunch and if things go well meet her again the next. She had to work so we only got to meet one day and the meeting went awesome, definite sparks. We had plans to go back on the 26th with a group of friends to go to some strip clubs and we thought *hey lets ask her if she would like to see us, we could steal away for a couple hours or so* we don't want to rush things and we're trying to think from a single females perspective how scary a situation this can be so we wanted to take our time and make her feel comfortable. She said she would like to see us and would let us know. Well time passed and our friends ended up flaking on the weekend but we already reserved a room. Today we got a text from her saying she would love to drive up there and meet us if we were still interested. Hubby called her to let her know we wanted to and he said he would leave the details to us girls. Well here is where it got interesting. When I wrote her the details and how our friends couldn't go and it would just be the three of us she wrote back. "I'm up for anything as long as I have a place to sleep." I just assumed we weren't at that place yet of sleepovers. I mean it's cool but now I'm crazy nervous and started to over think things (which I always do) when you're discussing "sharing" with your SO you of course think of all the fun stuff but I didn't take into consideration a sleepover. Was that naive of me? I mean what is the protocol for this? Do we all sleep in the same bed together? lol, I feel like an idiot asking but I'm just wondering. Any advice or tips about this and about "the first time" would be greatly appreciated.
  8. Im subscribing to this thread, lots of good points. I would have to agree with OP that for us there is somewhat of a friendship that has to happen before playing. Personally, attraction is not all about looks and i do need to be attracted to someone first. i dont expect to be best friends or even lifelong friends but in order for me to desire someone physically i need to get to know them personally. maybe that isnt the norm for this lifestyle but its working for us. Great post.
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