Jump to content

50sLady

Registered
  • Content Count

    35
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    2

50sLady last won the day on May 2 2008

50sLady had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

109 Excellent

About 50sLady

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 12/02/1949

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    Twilight Zone
  1. Thank you for your kind suggestion regarding a support group, but I have no need for one. My husband is my one man support group, as he has been for over 38 years. I did indeed create this pesky thread to make a point, which has been made in various ways. It has certainly clarified in my mind how to handle herpes and swinging.
  2. When we first started in the lifestyle, I said I was straight and would never play with a woman...no way..no how. I don't remember how long that attitude lasted, but it became obvious to me that some girl-girl action added to the party. So, I opened myself to the idea. My feeling is that I love my female body, so why should I have a problem touching other bodies just like mine? Since then, I have done all the "bi" stuff, and I found that I only really enjoyed it if I loved the woman as a girlfriend. I am lucky to have made true girlfriends of a couple of the wives of our swinger couple friends. We do non-swinger things like shopping, etc....just us girls. We did 3somes and 4somes with our husbands when we were in swinger mode. I listed myself as bisexual, as I did do what bisexual women do, but I found that most of the women in new couples we met did not move me to play. I was more likely to be attracted to and want to play with the male. I am straight but I sometimes take curves.
  3. Glad to know you think cold sores on the mouth are not contagious. FYI...if you get cold sores, you have herpes. You could be contagious at any time. Your skin may be shedding the virus with no sores visible.
  4. Everyone here does know that cold sores or fever blisters in the mouth area means you have herpes HSV1? Do you disclose to all your potential partners that you have herpes before you kiss them or go down on them? You could be shedding the virus even if you do not have a sore.
  5. Putting aside the chemistry issue, which all of us want with our play partners, would you play with me? I doubt it. I am just not worth the risk for recreational sex. Potential playmates will commend me for my honesty and back away from me as far as they can get hoping that I do not notice the look of horror on their faces. To tnohcpl....no one knows about my herpes except for 2 close couple friends who could have been exposed and, of course, my husband. There is no need to tell anyone else ever unless you plan on having sex with them. This is a skin to skin virus and is not transmitted through clothing. Someone's mouth area or genital area has to come in contact with the skin of your mouth area or genital area to spread the virus.
  6. I hope I have not given the impression that herpes means the end of my life. It is a skin virus which has no cure at this time. I do plan to enjoy the rest of my life. I am looking forward to weddings and grandchildren. No one in my vanilla life knows what happened to me. I have no visible signs that others can see. Herpes does mean the end of our swinging life. For that we are very sad. Yes, there are couples who advertise that they have the virus. In order for us to find H swinging partners, we would have to advertise too. There is such a stigma attached to the virus, that I just do not think I can do that now. It just seems so public. The thought of meeting couples and telling them face to face is even scarier. I do not need to fuck other people enough to subject myself to their rejection as they back away from us as if we would give them the virus just by looking at them. I do want to remind everyone that when you get tested for STDs to show your playmates, should they even ask, you must ask for the HerpesSelect blood test. Normally doctors only test for the STDs that they consider a health risk. Doctors do NOT consider herpes a health risk unless you are pregnant. There is suppressive medicine available, which helps to reduce the outbreaks and also hopefully the pain of any outbreaks that do happen. The doctor will prescribe Valtrex and send you on your way. Good luck to all of you in remaining STD free. Please remember that most people who have herpes do not know it.
  7. It has always amazed me that the vanilla world views swingers as worse than cheaters. The fact that we have sex with others WITH our partner's knowledge and usually right in front of them is somehow more immoral than having sex with others without our partner's knowledge. It makes no sense to me. I think the real problem vanillas have with swinging is the public sex aspect of our lifestyle. Cheaters do it in private, so no one sees it. Out of sight, out of mind. It is not in anyone's face. Swinging has the reputation of public sex, hence the references to orgies, glory holes, meat markets, and the belief that swingers will fuck anyone who comes into their line of vision. The other alternate lifestyles, such as BDSM or Nudist, would seem to be cousins of swinging, but many in those communities do not have public sex as part of the equation. They would be the ones who think so badly of swinging. Just thinking out loud
  8. I hate looking down and seeing gray hair , so I will stay forever bare.
  9. I know it hurts, toomuchfun, and unfortunately you probably have a couple weeks of it to endure. I was wondering how last night went. It sounds like you feel as we do. It is just too hard to go to swinger events when you know that no one would play with you. Check out the link in Julie's post. Wish you were not so darn far away. Keep in touch, please. 50s Lady
  10. Julie, Thanks for the yahoo link. I am not familiar with yahoo groups, so I had to create a profile and sigh up for the group. Now I have to wait to be accepted. A very appreciative 50s Lady
  11. It is like having chicken pox for the rest of your life. The sores heal, your skin is clear once again, but you are never let back in school because you may be contagious some day next month or next year. Not only are the kids not going to play with you, they will not even touch you. Maybe us H swingers should start wearing an H somewhere visible on our person. If any one asks about the H earrings or H pin or H bracelet, we can just say our name is Helen or Henry. 50s Lady
  12. Oh, toomuchfun, do I ever know how you feel. It was really good to see your post, although I know we all wish we did not have this in common. It is amazing to find that the medical community is really not all that concerned about herpes. It's not life threatening. It really is an annoying skin virus that unfortunately will never leave you. There is daily suppressive medicine to help control the outbreaks, which is the painful and inconvenient part of it all. When you do not have an outbreak, you almost forget you have it. If you are married, you both are exposed and come to terms with it. Life goes on. If you have genital herpes, no one else even knows about it. The medicine also helps to reduce the asymptomatic shedding, which is the most difficult part of managing herpes. You can have no symptoms and no pain or sores, but you can be contagious. The problem is that you never know when that is. It could be every day or once a week or one day a month or never. Asymptomatic shedding is the way herpes is spread most of the time. People can think their play partners are clean and their skin is clear but they could infect you anyway. As you have experienced, herpes is much more than just a skin virus when you are a swinger. You have to tell the ones you played with recently. Depending upon who you played with and when, you can guess who might have given it to you, but you really will never know. You can only tell them that you may have exposed them to it. It was not easy, as you well know. Thank YOU for posting. I am glad to know I am not the only "H" former Swinger reading this board. 50s Lady
  13. Thank you Tribbles for your welcome back too. We were a full swap couple for all our swinging adventure, so going to clubs and parties and not being able to play with others would not be fun at all for us. Our reason to swing was to have recreational sex with others. Trying to avoid a "look but don't touch" situation, 50s Lady
  14. Thanks, Julie, for the welcome, although I never really left. I read the board everyday. I have wanted to post my story for some time now, but I did not want to use our couple name. Our couple name is on SLS and Swapper, and after 5 years of active swinging, many people know us by that name. This is a public forum, and Google is a powerful search engine. Hoping to stay anonymous, 50s Lady
  15. We are in our late 50s and married for many years. Hubby suggested swinging 5 years ago, I said, “OK, let’s give it a try.” It has been a fun, hot, sexy, educational, and life changing experience. We really lived the lifestyle. We did lifestyle activities most weekends for those 5 years. Early this year, our swinging lifestyle came to a crashing halt when I found the painful herpes sores on my labia. Hubby has been great as I knew he would. His words to me were…….That is it. We are done swinging. Don’t worry about it. We will be fine. He made a special point to thank me for giving him the chance to live out his fantasies. Did we do everything we could to avoid an STD? No, we did not. We made choices that gave us what we wanted from swinging. We knew there were risks, but like most people, we hoped the odds would be in our favor. Life goes on. I have had no more outbreaks. Fingers are crossed that my immune system keeps the virus dormant. I must be honest and say that we really miss swinging. We still think like swingers. Swingers do see the world differently, and we still like the view. Now we go out to dinner every Saturday night, because that was our main swinging night. It is much too depressing to stay home on a Saturday night for us. I have been reading this board for all of the 5 years we were swinging but under a different name. I thought I would not want to read here anymore, but I find I can’t stay away. Once a swinger, always a swinger is true. I can’t think any other way even now. I hope all of you successfully avoid STDs in the lifestyle.
×
×
  • Create New...