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deriknmd

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15 Good

About deriknmd

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/01/1961

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Greenbelt

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  1. I would like to thank everyone for their comments on my situation. There seems to be a common theme by most to say that my beef isn't or shouldn't be with the friend. Since I can't control my gf's choice of friends, I should let that part go and accept the fact that my gf isn't on the same page as me where this is involved. I'm still on the fence post on that but I did post here for your open comments and I thank you for the many different view points. Bottom line is that if I have "accepted" my gf back and since I "trust" her...that's all that matters. I do like the comment by "likeminds321": This has been the "core" value with me, a person's choice in friends tells you much about that person. Thanks all.
  2. I would agree with you up to accepting my gf's friends. I can accept her and her family, but I really don't have to accept her friends. I guess if her friends were drug users, I should except that also? I don't think so. Sure, I could find another girl also.
  3. Thanks for your questions, but if you re-read my original post you will see where I said we were both in the swing life. And the situation wasn't an affair, but a hookup sex.
  4. I have to say "WOW" right back to you sweet_tna. Finally someone who "gets it" and I'm not saying that because you agree. I would agree and would do the same if the "tables" were reversed. I would tell my so called friend that I feel my relationship is just too important to allow someone else to come between us. Thanks again.
  5. Actually I don't really know the other female that well, we had a 3some once and that's the last I ever saw of her. Yes, everyone can make their own decisions. Me personally, I would never help a so called friend do bad towards their partner..expecially if my actions would directly affect their relationship as it did ours. What does that say for the friends that we keep? I really don't have to decide who is important in the matter because she/I should matter to each other and my SO has shown me who she thinks is.
  6. Correct. The friend is not new, they both have stayed friends after the situation. The reason why I want to spend time with my gf is because we both wanted to try to have a relationship....after our breakup. We each were seeing others b4 we got back together. And when we got back together we said to keep "distractions" away from our work with our relationship. So she knows how I feel about this friend and she chooses to keep her as a friend. That's correct, I forgive my gf for cheating, I don't forgive the friend and this only has raised doubt about trust. I hope that helps.
  7. I am seeking advice on this situation. My girl friend cheated on me with the help of her girl friend. The other women was someone we had a 3 some with in the past and behind my back hooked up with "other" men for sex. This situation was about 3 years ago, my girl cheated on me by setting up to meet 2 men for sex over at her girl friend's house without me being involved. I don't know all the sorted details as to what actual activities were done between all parties, I just know that my gf wanted to be with 2 or more men at once. I found out about the situation after the fact by reading emails on her computer and confronting her. We were both in the swing lifestyle together and I wasn't ready for her to be with 2 men at the same time. She felt compelled to do this only because I wouldn't let her do something sexually that she wanted. In my eyes, she broke 2 of our "hard" rules when swinging. #1 Go at the pace of the slowest person. (she was clearly frustrated at my slowness in the swing life where she wanted to get with other men) #2 Do not go behind the other person's back to contact someone to "play" or whatever without the other person's knowledge or permission. (we had both played with this female in a 3some) My gf and I broke up about a year ago because of the mis-trust and lack of communication as time when on after this situation. About 2 months ago we started seeing each other exclusively to try and rebuild what we lost (trust). I just found out recently that my gf still continues to be friends with this female. And yes, I've voiced my option that I don't care for this female. I recently learned my gf and this other female both had hoped to clear the air from what happened in the past because the other female wants us "all" to hang out together now that she has a bf. While my gf and I were chatting online, she said that this female wanted to talk with me, I wasn't to thrilled because of the way it was done, but I talk with her anyway. I was polite and she never took the first step to appologize over her involment in the incident. I don't care to associate or to try to be friends with this female because of her indirect involement with helping my gf cheat on me. I told my gf (again) my feelings and that I do not care to be friends in any capacity with this female. Also I didn't like the fact that my gf is still friends with her. My girl friend thinks I am "unfair" because if I should be mad at anyone....it should be with her and her alone. My girl friend feels that I am making her friend out to be the "bad person". My girl friend has no intentions of droping this friend or "other" friends when I've voiced my feelings about them. So my question is.... Am I being "unfair" and making her female friend out to being the "bad person" since my gf is suppose to be in control of her own actions? I feel that my gf "values" her friendship with other people more than she "values" her friendship and her relationship with me. ** Edit ** I forgot to add that when my gf and I got back together, it was to work on our relationship with each other and to work towards marriage.
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