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shywife

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  • Content Count

    14
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Community Reputation

15 Good

About shywife

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    MWF
  • Location
    Texas
  1. My ex was extremely hot for sloppy seconds - I just couldn't go there knowing the risks.
  2. I am not "afraid" of anything in particular. The point of my original post was that I have asked my husband to communicate with me. He does not. This makes me feel left out of something that I thought was about US and something we were going to share TOGETHER. Period. The communication I have asked for is important to me - so surely that should mean something, considering the subject matter. He doesn't have to share every detail about every detail, but I would hope that in sharing generalities, deeper, more detailed conversations would follow. Let me pose this question: If your spouse tells you that something in paricular is important to them in this lifestyle, do you respect their request/position, or do you ignore/disregard the info? Remember folks, we are still new to all this, with only a couple of experiences. We haven't been doing this for years, nor is it what we do on a regular basis such as every weekend. Maybe as the years go by and we become "seasoned," this issue won't be as big a deal, but for now, it's important to me, and my feelings either matter, or they don't.
  3. Socolais and Angedky, no disrespect to either of you, but if I am willing to open myself and my marriage up to swinging, then I do believe my husband should at least respect me enough to honor my request for this comunication. Afterall, I have let him know that this is important to me, and I do believe my feelings/beliefs on the subject should count for something. I mean, swinging is apparently important to him, and I developed an interest on his behalf, so surely he cares enough about me to give me the communication I have requested. Hmmm, asking for him to communicate with me could be construed as "nagging?" Well, if that's the case, all he had to do was communicate in the first place and I would't have to ask repeatedly, now would I? Again, all I have asked for is communication - it is important to me... surely I matter enough in this equation for him to honor such a simple request.
  4. No, I do not look at his online activities as "sneaky," I don't think he's necessarily trying to hide anything, etc. He seems comfortable with swinging - this was his idea in the first place. My attitude about the lifestyle is that it is about US doing things TOGETHER. Literally everything I have ever read on any of these boards all emphasize COMMUNICATON, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. That's all I have asked for, and quite frankly, if this is something that is truly about us, then I think it is reasonable to conclude that communcation would be forthcoming, not something I have to beg for.
  5. Yes, I am still pretty new to all of this, but we have had a couple of MFM's and both enjoyed them. What made me comfortable with the concept of "swinging," be it threesomes with another man to full blown swapping with another couple, was the idea that this was about US and an erotic experience that we would share TOGETHER, as well as the honest and open communication we once had that included everything, even the seemingly insignificant. My husband has been very open about his fantasies - we seem to be able to talk about all that just fine. However, when it comes to the websites, there is no communication unless I specifically ask, and again, I get the "I don't remember" statement. When I have been on the sites, I have always told him and shared things I read or whether I chatted, etc. I have asked - repeatedly - for him to do the same, but his response is that I should just assume he's on everyday. Again, that's not "sharing" the experience - that's him doing his thing without regard for me and my desire to be included. And yes, I have repeatedly told him I feel left out and unimportant. I do not understand his desire to be on the boards fantasizing about all of this, but then have such a reluctance (and at this point, almost a defiant refusal) to communicate his activities. I am not asking for anything other than communication - but for some reason that seems to be an unreasonable request.
  6. Hubby was interested in swinging... I SLOWLY came around, believing that if this was something we shared TOGETHER COMPETELY, then it was really about us having an erotic encounter TOGETHER that could not be achieved any other way, instead of being about the two of us screwing other people. Hubby seems content cruising the sites and fantasizing without sharing this info with me. What I mean by that is that yes, I know he's on the board, but I do not know when, for how long, what he does while there, etc. He does not share any of this unless I SPECIFICALLY ask. When I do ask, he mostly says he "can't remember" any posts, etc. He did recently volunteer that he read a story on one of the sites that got him "hot," but he didn't elaborate or share anything more than that. I feel left out - I seem to be an unimportant factor in the equation.
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