playinginmacon

My intention was not to use anybody. The advantage to the female half of a swapping couple is that she has benefits for both the male and female participants if the females are bi. The other premise here is that the situation was a swap. The females played, swap 1 happened, and she ditched before swap two. And she even set up swaps 1 and 2, so it was really confusing to the participants when she didn't follow thru. We left first when we found out that she was not interested in the second swap because continuing play would mean that my husband would just sit back and watch, getting no play while everyone else in the room got play. (At that point, it would be three males and two females, so he would have had to get in on another male's play - not cool) We weren't comfortable with that, so we amicably said goodbye to everyone who was still in the room (all but smokey). Since then I've tried to make chit chat, but I always have to initiate chat with her and usually she either straightup disappears after saying hi or has to go manage her children rather immediately. She's never been openly rude, but . . . . Point taken, relationship dropped.

Ok, to address a few questions (tho I've already forgotten most of them) : 1. I don't think the couples in question read this site and if I did thought they did, I probably would have either just said it to them or not said it at all. Just venting to folks in the lifestyle. 2. Yes, she's bi. And for the situation at hand, I think she understood what she was getting into in terms of ff and mf play. 3. We got one round: the one where I did her hubby and she didn't do mine (that sounds bad phrased that way, but you know what I mean). Point being, everybody was agreed to things going differently according to her suggestion, before things changed. 4. For the record, I totally understand that no means no and I wouldn't feel obligated to say why either, it's just courteous. And I was just venting because I felt it was uncourteous. The situation is done, so there's not really anything to do or worry about. 5. When somebody finally did ask her if she was ever coming back, she just let it be known she was going to keep smoking and we could continue if we wanted. However, since the plan for play included her and we didn't want to leave any spouses out (namely mine because she was next on his turn), we decided it was better that we casually make our way to the door. Also, ourselves and the host couple both have personal rules that we only do sex things when our SO is present. IE if I go to get water or make water, hubby takes a breather (and vice versa). May sound odd to you, but it works for us and the host couple, so it meant that we would wait till everybody could be involved.

Yes, the situation was the same as if it was a basic two-couple swap, except that there was three couples. The plan was to do one round swapping with other spouse #1, then one round swapping with other spouse #2, then all couples would have had a go with everyone else. She even actually took the lead in designating the order of swaps: that I would swap with her husband, while she got husband #2, and husband #2's wife was with my husband. Once everybody had played and cum from the first round, she went out for a smoke break and we waited and waited and waited. She never actually said that she "I'm going to do your SO," but it was understood there would be at least two rounds and everybody would play with everyone else. Looking back on the situation I think she was trying to give her hubby what he wanted without having to be with someone who she apparently didn't want to be with. She just chose a very wrong and deceptive way to do that. Naive me - I actually was more interested in her, and obviously my SO was too. So I was more or less killing time playing around with her hubby for the greater benefit of playing with her and enjoying hubby's pleasure playing with her. I would not have played with her hubby on a MMF basis (neither would my SO), only with them on a couple swap basis. I feel like she took advantage of everybody involved and am even madder that she set me up to f her husband when she had no intentions of doing the same for mine.

I agree with you. If it had been a casual, anything/anybody goes party with a few more couples, then "play with who you want" would be fine. Where my problem comes in is that before the action started we actually agreed between us three couples that we were going to be playing as couples same room and we were in for a long evening where everybody would have ample opportunity to play with everybody else. Then after she got what she wanted, she disappeared on a smoke break and didn't come back. She didn't even tell her husband (or maybe she did and I just don't know it) that she wasn't going to come back. I just felt like if she was uncomfortable with the situation to begin with (which circumstances indicate tho I know you don't have all the details), she should have told somebody, rather than let the other two couples who were picturing her completing the circle get the wrong idea.

Dear Mrs. of Couple who shall not be named: As I know it will make absolutely no difference for me to say this to you, I shall just have to say it here. Despite our various online communications and couple to couple in-person meeting, I guess I should not have assumed that when you and your husband got naked with me and my husband at our mutual friend's party, that you would be open to the idea of playing with both of us. Under the assumption that all party-goers were interested in all other party-goers (especially since the question had been tossed out there just to be sure), I got jiggy with your husband thinking that my husband would get his turn during round two. Instead, you fled to the porch after round one and would not return, nor would you state a reason for your sudden departure. As there were only three couples, this meant that the indoor action could not proceed and that I had screwed your husband under the false impression that you were interested in screwing mine too. So, you and your husband used me and cheated my husband out of his fair turn. What a selfish thing to do. I really hope you both rot in Hades. Sincerely yours, Me

Dito I was hoping somebody would say that.

My new favorite other was one we found on a lazy night where neither of us wanted to be on top. It's also great now that I'm expecting because the baby belly doesn't get in the way. If you're the girl, you do have to be able to spread pretty far. Here's how it goes: Man lays on his side, woman lays on her back. One leg of the woman goes up on a shoulder of the man and the other splits left to follow or intertwine with the legs of the man. It's a great position because it really opens the woman up for her to play with herself or for her man to while he fucks her. It about drives me nuts to be taking my time at a great angle (rubs the wall real nice) and having my clit played with. If you like a good tease, it's great for him to rub either up over the clit, or towards the perineum, or just do some shallow teasing. Oh, and BTW, if this is what scissor is, sorry I just took all that time to explain something I probably should have known, but it was fun thinking about anyway. facelick

LOL. Y'all are too funny. It's soda and a Coke is a Coke. I hate traveling in pop country where when I say I want a coke they give me a pepsi. I'll drink either, I'm not that picky, but they are different drinks and when I want one, the other won't do. Do you take your grits with sugar or salt? Or maybe I should be asking if you know what grits are.

Before you became interested in swinging, he was probably still browsing sites and fantasizing. I do plenty of stuff online (like responding to this post) that I probably won't tell my hubby about. Not because I'm hiding something from him, but it's something I'm doing on my time that doesn't really affect him and really doesn't affect me. Kind of like checking my email, I just do it. Now if I were talking to a couple we could meet, I would tell him about that because it would affect both of us. It seems you are still new to the idea of swinging and he may not be sure what you are comfortable talking about, or he may simply be used to not talking about it and not know how to verbalize his fantasies. The more my hubby and I experience sexually, the easier it is becoming for us to talk about what we like, what we don't, and what we fantasize about. Before he wasn't even comfortable watching porn in the same room as me, now we sleep with other couples and talk about who did what well. If you're uncomfortable with what your husband is doing, tell him so. He probably doesn't realize that you want to be included or that you feel that the relationship is between him and the computer, instead of the three of you.

I don't think you're setting sights too high. I think it's reasonable to want to be friends and lovers, but it's hard to find couples where that works out consistently. We've had a similar experience with couples. Every couple we meet (so far 3) helps us define what we're looking for in some way. Someone on another post put it this way: It took us a lot of trial and error before we found our ideal partner, it stands to reason that it would be the same when seeking a couple to play with. And just as an aside, I hate it when people drop off the planet or give lame excuses, rather than just come out and say "hey, we're not interested right now." I'd rather just hear it like it is, than get my hopes up that somebody's telling me the truth and something's going to come of this when it's not.