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cataryna

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    40
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

cataryna last won the day on July 1 2008

cataryna had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

70 Excellent

About cataryna

  • Rank
    Manimal's Cat
  • Birthday 05/12/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    New Orleans Area, Louisiana
  • Interests
    reading, music and food festivals, live music, movies,
  • Occupation
    Executive Secretary/Construction
  • Swinging Experience
    6 years total (he 2.5)

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Cataryna
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Southern Escapades, The Dive Inn, Colettes
  1. My two oldest friends know. I just came out and told them one day. While they were shocked and had questions, eventually they said it didn't surprise them LOL A close friend at work knows. It came out at lunch one day while discussing our respective boyfriends. She's insanely jealous of other women whereas I am not. We were talking about how Manimal has a lot of female friends and flirts with them. She asked me if this bothered me and I said nope not at all and that his flirting actually is a turn on. She then laughed and said "Are you guys like swingers or something" LOL I looked her dead in the face and said "Yep." The look on her face was priceless. She's very firmly entrenched in the moral issues while I continually explain to her that morals are subjective. Example: Her morals tell her it's okay for her to repeatedly cheat on her boyfriend, mine don't. This is something we go round and round about. Me getting on her about her cheating on her BF and her not understanding why I get on her when I swing. *shrugs* Even through all of this, we still remain friends. My younger sister knows, again not surprised. She and her husband have even visited our club since. My mother recently found out that we'd gone to colette's. Manimal had lost his cell phone at the club and she knew about him losing it. When she asked where, I'd said "at a club". Later I'd pulled up their website to get their phone number and forgot to close the browser, she saw it. That conversation did not go over well and eventually I had to lie about my level of participation in the lifestyle, saying that our visit to the club was a one time deal.
  2. I am curious as to how you think he could prove it was a mistake? Has he apologized? Has he said he wouldn't do it again? Do you think he feels appropriately remorseful? You've opened up your communication about the issue I'm sure so in my opinion the only way he can "prove" it was a mistake is to go back out into the rain with his raincoat fully buttoned. Are you willing to go back in the rain and risk getting wet again or are you going sit under the protective cover of the porch and wait for the rain to end? Silly analogy I know lol but my point is...At some point or another I believe that most everyone's boundaries may get tested or stretched. I think that's how we grow and progress in the lifestyle. If you can communicate about it successfully to where each party understands what went wrong then you can work past it. Remember this lifestyle is based on trust not "proof". There are two ways you can deal with this, either don't swing again or trust that he has learned his lesson, put it behind you, and move on to your next adventure.
  3. I also have to disagree with this post, but only to a degree. While yes a newbie can be and most often are overwhelmed at clubs (the deer in headlight look is a dead giveaway) I think it's because most often newbies may choose to go on a weekend night where it's considerably more crowded. Usually when a newbie asks me about our club, I will tell them to check it out on a less busy night, like a Thursday night or a Friday night where it's not quite as crowded so that they're not overwhelmed. However, if they have an aversion to single males I will tell them Saturday, but also make them aware that it can get very crowded on Saturdays so that they're somewhat prepared. I do not think a house party is necessarily a good first experience because in my experience house parties tend to be more intense. For the most part everyone knows everyone, which might make it hard for a newbie couple to break into the group. They may feel a bit left out, especially if they're shy and nervous as most new couples are. I definitely think there is less pressure to play at a club, then at a house party or at a scheduled date. At a club, you're one of many. You can choose to sit back and enjoy the sights, until you're comfortable enough to become part of the sights. AMEN! We're really tired of crawling home at 6 a.m. because the fun stuff didn't start until 4 a.m. Our bodies cannot handle those hours like they used to! I too have a question about the "friends issue". We have no aversion to meeting someone and within an hour or two taking ourselves off to the bedroom to play with them. But we also are looking for "friends" outside of the bedroom. Our free time is not spent entirely partaking of the lifestyle. We enjoy going out to our favorite rock bar, going to festivals, or listening to some of our favorite local bands. Our profile states that we're looking for people to do some of these things with also, but also ones that we can take home afterwards and get freaky with. We do have two couples that we do these things with on occasion (rarely), and we're always trying to get together a semi-large group to go do these things with and it just never seems to pan out. It seems like for the majority of the people we have met...if it doesn't involve the local swingers club then they're not interested which has left us a little disappointed. Is this pretty normal? Are their others like us that wish to do more things outside the lifestyle, but cant find those same couples who want to do vanilla things? You'd figure after 6 years of this I'd know the answer myself. Which I guess shows that the lifestyle is a constant learning experience.
  4. Friends and I used to jokingly say "We are the normal people. Everyone else (non-swingers) are the freaks."
  5. Could it be possible that you haven't met that "perfect" couple because you're not ready to go that far? Are you using it as a stall tactic? Just a thought here, but for whatever reason, subconsciously you may not be ready and that could maybe why you haven't found THE couple. Maybe you should reanalyze what it is you hope to get out of this. Are you looking for a "porn" experience or are you looking for enlightenment, so to say, in your own relationship? If you're looking for a "porn" experience, then yeah I'd say 9 times out of 10 you're going to end up leaving without it. I am in no way saying you should "settle" but remember, there is no such thing as "perfect". There is only "perfect for that moment in time". As for the couple that you don't necessarily find fully attractive; remember that meeting with them is not a guarantee of sex. Meet with them, see what clicks and what doesn't click. You may find that they are more attractive physically in person than they are in pictures. You also may find that they are less attractive personality wise. But you will never quite know until you meet them in person. My honey recently told me something that really struck home as far as physical looks go. He said "beauty grows on you." When I asked him what he meant he pointed out an adult film star that at first he did not find attractive at all, then many months later he realized that she was in fact very attractive. This outlook has kind of held true for our pursuit of other people. We have met and known a lot of people in this lifestyle over the years, some we would not have played with at first sight, but as time went by and we've developed friendships with them, they have become more attractive to us and we have ended up having some great experiences with them. My point is, good personalities and great relationships/friendships can create physical attraction just as much as bad personalities can dissuade physical attraction.
  6. I've been involved for about 6 years. Started out as a single woman, then a couple for a year, then single again, now again as a couple for the last 2.5 years. He had some interest in it and had joined the yahoo group that I was running. He and I had gone to high school together and I'd had a crush on him way back then. We've been together since and swinging from the start. We took it very slow for the first year while we built our relationship and really did nothing more than run around naked at our pool parties and some very mild flirting. We have progressed to a full swap couple, although technically I don't know if you could say that as I've never actually been penetrated by another man LOL Not for lack of trying...it just seems like it never gets that far for one reason or another. We've not had very many playmates because it seems like either we're interested in the girl, but not the guy or I'm interested in the guy but not the girl and we're not willing to "take one for the team".
  7. Maria, THanks for the suggestion. I have been thinking about hiring a burlesque dancer to see how i goes over with our group. Yes, there's always someone at the door, whether it be me, Scott or a friend that helps me out. We have found that anyone who is going to show up is usually there by 11 pm and yes there's one of us doing all of those things. We have never had anything happen...but if it were, we're perfectly capable of taking care of anything that could come up. No they don't...maybe one or two couples at any given time...but most just dance where they're standing. I guess it's about 50/50. The pool room is VERY large...envision a room the size of a small banquet hall with a ceiling 2.5 to 3 stories tall. Smoke is not a problem or at least I've heard no complaints about it being a problem. Yes.
  8. Thanks for the response John and VegasLee. John, our hours are longer than the other club, we begin at 8pm and go pretty much until the last person leaves. We don't really have a "closing" time. Usually most everyone is gone by 4p.m. VegasLee The reason they haven't heard about it is because it was under another name before being run by another couple. Southern Escapades, itself, is a new name and started being used in January. I'm surprised that your friends have never heard of The Dive Inn though. I thought everyone in the lifestyle in New Orleans knew about The Dive Inn is the only clothing optional licensed B & B in New Orleans and is where our parties are held. We do have a website and a yahoo group. If you click on my profile both here and on SLS you'll find the link for it. As for the club listing here, I've only been a member here for a few days and submitted the club listing when I signed up. I'm guessing they have not listed it yet. We are listed on multiple sites and linked on many yahoo groups. I have looked at the NACSA site and actually it helped me when I was just beginning to swing. We are looking into becoming listed there as well. I guess the main thing is I just don't understand why we're not having a bigger response. I see and hear all the discord and disappointment with the other clubs in our area, so I don't get why people wouldn't want to try someplace new.
  9. Thanks for the response Tybee To answer your questions 1. Membership only--While we do not ask our members to pay a membership fee, all people who attend must RSVP on either our yahoo group or on SLS and we don't allow walk ins unless we know them. We do allow a few single males, 4 only, all of whom have to have 2 SLS certifications, which we verify through contacting the certs and screening them etc. 2. Free entrances means that we give away free entrances for future parties every once in a while as a door prize, they are non-transferable. 3. The security staff is pretty much us as we're constantly working our way throughout the guests making sure they're okay. I try to stop and talk to at least everyone. 4. Because of the pool there are towels available...and all of the rooms have their own towels. 5. We don't have a dance floor. Our parties are held in the large pool room of the B&B, there's plenty of room to dance if people wish to dance though, a large bar area, plenty of seating areas. 6. We have a very competent bartender. 7. There is no smoking in the rooms, but there is in the large pool room where the party is held. We are not to the scale of the other club, it's much larger and has more of a nightclub feel to it, whereas ours has more of a house party feel to it considering that the majority of the party takes place in the very large pool house, with rooms set aside for play.
  10. Hello all of you sexy people, We own a group in New Orleans and hold on-premise parties. There is another on-premise club in the area that is open several days a week, whereas we only have parties once a month. Competition in the area is small, but we're finding that because the other club is more established people are hesitant about going somewhere new. We believe that our venue is more friendly and less pressure to play, but still hot as hell. We have an indoor heated pool and two hot-tubs, while the other club does not. The other club has more play areas than us. We both have rooms available to rent. We offer a full buffet at our parties, while the other club does not offer one to the scale that ours is. We offer door prizes, free entrances, gift certificates to local restaurants, games and other prizes while the other club does not. While we've had decent turnouts we would love to have more people show up. We have definitely noticed a decline in attendance at all swinger events in the area since Katrina and are hoping that this is a temporary thing and that people will eventually come back to play. We're afraid that if we don't have more people showing up we may be forced to close shop. So we're asking for help here...What are some of the things that would attract you to a certain party?
  11. Thanks! We have a lot of friends in the lifestyle though because we host parties, but we very rarely hook up through the profile and don't understand why. I've thought about adding some more risque pictures but well I'm very camera shy and hate every picture that has been taken of me. He is very photogenic and never takes bad pictures.
  12. Make up a list of sexy things, one for the women and one for the men. Things such as Piercings Tattoos Bald genital area Hairy genital area no tan lines no panties no underwear These are just a few...my lists have 12 different sexual things. You can have as few as you want or as much as you want depending on the size of the party. Women have to find men who have the things on the men's list, and men have to find women who have the things on their list and they can't use the same person twice. It gets the people talking to each other and the naughtier you get with the items the hotter things get.
  13. Wow...We'd love for you guys to look at and critique our profile. SLS ID cataryna
  14. Okay I know I'm new here but I have been swinging and posting on our local swinger yahoo groups for a long time so I've seen and heard just about every question imaginable about things that happen in the lifestyle and I don't understand why people are saying this isn't a swinger issue. Obviously, by the OPs originally statements they have been involved in swinging, the events that happened the night in question very well may have an effect on their future participation in the lifestyle. The mere fact that she stated that they always did things together, but that he went outside of their boundaries makes it a swinger issue. Will she be able to trust him again in the future to not break their boundaries? Whether or not this is a genuine post or not, the questions posed in it and as a result of it, are genuine and the suggestions offered very well might help someone else in a similar situation. To the OP (or to others who may be in a similar situation) I understand why you would feel betrayed by your husband and friends actions...obviously your husband knew what he did was wrong which is why he did not tell you about it. I hope that you and your husband can work through the issues this has brought about. Continue talking to each other and sharing your feelings and remember than not only did you lose a child, but so did he. As for the child your friend might be carrying, love it as if it were your own. I saw that you mentioned that the friend is single...maybe she might be acceptable to being a surrogate mother and letting you and your husband have the child after it is born. I know it's not the same as a child from your own body, but if you and your husband want a child as bad as you say you do, than maybe it's better to accept someone else's child as your own then to not have one at all.
  15. I answered other cuz it's different for men and women. In women...well I love breasts, nice, large REAL breasts! Don't flash those saline filled plastic bags at me cuz I'll turn my back on ya. In men...it's their hands. I love large manly hands and usually it's one of the first things I look at...and no it doesn't have anything to do with the size of their party stick. LOL I've seen large hands with small party sticks and vice versa. I don't know what it is about a man's hand...but the bigger the better! Renee
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