Amy and Mike

Ok, I'm feeling a little selfish now after claiming that I "need" sex once a week and then reading about how thousands of our military are now NOT coming back from Iraq after a year, as the government had originally promised them. These people won't, for the most part, be having sex or anything else very nice in their lives for a while. I hope this doesn't sound cornball, but it never hurts to stop and appreciate what you have, and appreciate the people who are making big sacrifices for us all.

this is mike... tarnished halo, your posts are always interesting...but i can never figure out whether or not you really are interested in swinging for YOURSELF. im just curious, if your husband said it didnt matter to him whether or not the two of you became involved in swinging, would you want to persue it? or is it something you want to do just so your husband will be satisfied? i would most likely never have brought up the idea of swinging with my wife. for one thing, i dont think it would have occured to me that she might be interested in something like that. then one day she told me she was thinking about a threesome with another guy, and that started us talking about it. we were BOTH really enthusiastic about the idea. if that hadnt been the case, we'd never have even continued to discus the idea. For me, the big turn-on was seeing my wife open up and start being more sexual than she ever had been. Our experience so far has been only one threesome with no intercourse, but most likely we'll do more in the future.

There is definitely a point where I start to be affected by a lack of sex. I get grumpy and irritable...sometimes I don't even realize what was wrong until I have sex again. Then it is like "ohhhh...that's what the problem was" ... like Julie said, all the stress melts away and I feel ok again. When I get to that point, masturbation is not going to do it for me. It is like needing to eat a nourishing meal and all you have is a donut. If I didn't have sex for a week I might not notice if I was really busy with other things. If I was thinking about sex all week though, I would definitely start getting irritable at that point, if not sooner. Two weeks and there's no question that it would affect me. Our schedules can be very busy and there is often not enough time for sex in a day. Three times a week is about perfect for me with masturbation in between. Anything more than that is just unrealistic anyway for us...we probably average about twice a week. Have any of you ever noticed that sometimes people when they're not having sex on a regular basis might start acting weird or kind of bitter? I really think it is because of a lack of sex. I think I was like that when I was single and didn't have a girlfriend. I don't think its good for people to go without sex for too long.

This is Mike, the male half... Amy and I have recently had a threesome with a guy that she had actually dated before we met (someone she hadn't seen in a few years who we ran into). It worked out fine, because the guy seemed to be very respectful as far as our relationship was concerned. Before it happened, he was genuinely interested in just hanging out with us and being friends. He had no idea what we actually planning ...lol However, he's not someone that is a close friend to either of us...so there was no real worry about what would happen to our friendship with him if things didnt go well. There was no issue with him and i having contact. Im sure we did brush up against one another, but I honestly don't remember. In our threesome, there was no intercourse, only oral sex. During most of the foreplay, we were lying in bed with Amy in the middle. She took turns making out with both of us while the other caressed her body. Then, while he was busy with Amy down below, I was sucking her breasts and vice-versa. She also performed oral sex on each of us while the other was touching her in some way. The whole experience was very exciting, and the other guy was of course a big part of that. That doesnt mean Im attracted to men, or that I'd ever want to deliberately have sexual contact with a guy, but if his balls or any other part of his body had touched me or gotten close to my face, I dont think it would have bothered me at all. When we first asked him if he was interested, i said something like "she wants to have sex with both of us." We were careful not to word it in a way that he might think there was some bisexual stuff involved.

This is Mike, the male half. Just saw this on a news site. Thought I'd share it with you all. The Daily Whisper Hottest Scoop on the 'Net _ Sting's Bedroom Secrets Revealed Howard Stern has a knack of drawing the most intimate secrets out of people and Trudie Styler is his latest victim. The wife of rocker Sting revealed that they love to hang in sex clubs and that swinging and wife-swapping are practices they participate in. She attributed this carefree lifestyle to being European and living a life of rock 'n' roll. That's one household that you wouldn't call boring!

Hi, this Amy. I am so angry after reading this that I have to comment. Frenchy, the only advice you're looking for is advice on how to make your wife do what you want. You have no real interest in anything anyone is trying to tell you. Did you think that if you came to ask swingers for advice that they would automatically think that your wife should go along with what you want? Not only that but they would offer you advice on how to get her to swing with you? I can hardly believe you are so selfish. Every single person here is trying to tell you that you are hurting her buy treating her this way. If my hubby had ever shown such a complete lack of regard for my feelings as you obviously have for your wife's I would be as upset as your wife too! It's not swinging thats upsetting your wife, its you! So your sex life isnt as good as it was a while ago and you wonder why, even blaming her for it? Well take a look in the mirror.

As far as we go, we're only interested in threesomes right now. Our only experience so far has been with someone we both know, and even that was pretty limited. This person is a casual friend or ours, not a close friend, but is very respectful concerning our relationship. The experience we had was fun for everyone involved, and I dont see any cause for concern or jealousy.

This is Mike, the male half. I really don't see how it's any of your business whether or not someone is "bi". They have no obligation to disclose anything about their sexuality to you or anyone else. I absolutely agree that this type of lying is really just being discrete. If I was having sex with males (which I don't, by the way) and someone asked me, I would most likely deny it if I knew they might be biased against me because of it. You go on to say: "Most couples have a real problem with bi males mainly because most males of lifestyle couples are straight." Yeah, well so what? If you have a problem with that then its YOUR problem, not theirs. And if they lie and tell you otherwise then I say good for them. It really amazes me that swingers (who you would think would be very open minded) can be so uptight. And to think that someone owes you a full disclosure of their sexuality just because you swing with them is beyond uptight – it is ridiculous.

Mike and I are only curious, not really swingers. But Im 35 and Mike is 39. Bringing this back up for folks who haven't answered. Julie Webmaster/ Admin Well I read this whole thread and someone still hasn't answered, Julie. *AHEM* I'm very curious as you can see.

This is Amy.....Very interesting thread here! I'd love to hear more women tell the stories of how they got involved with swinging. Julie, what is the link to the thread where you told your story more in depth? I'd love to read it and anyone else who's told their story on a previous thread. We've been wondering about the type of people we're likely to meet if we start exploring swinging, and whether they're like us in different ways. As for me, and I think Mike too, I really am a monogamous person. I really like having one person who I'm very close to, who I feel is always there for me, and I know he's coming home to me every night. I don't really have the desire to date other men, so that's not where the idea came from with us. I always thought Mike would have gotten jealous if I ever brought up the fantasy of sex with another anyone else. Then one time I told him about how someone had hit on me and it led to some very sexy conversation. So we started talking about fantasies when we were having sex.... and it's been very hot! It's funny becuase most of my fantasies are about him and another woman while he mostly likes talking aobut me with another man. I don't know why..... So it makes me wonder what others experiences were when first discussing swinging.

It's goes this way, realistically, how many choices do we have, cheat? swing? cheat? swing? Cheat. face the unknown, swing, know what you really don't wanna know. But make the best of it. Or just be a happy couple who is satisfied and content with the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with." OK...Hi, this is Amy. I really get confused by some of what people say here. Now I dont really know any swingers and their views (hubby and I are only curious at this point), but I can say that for me, all of the above is NOT true! It was me, not Mike who started talking openly about fantasies involving other people once I got the feeling that he would feel comfortable talking about it. That led to us thinking about maybe we would want to act on it. I don't understand why you think that only non-swingers are "satisfied and content with the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with." We ARE a happy couple and are totally satisfied with each other! You say "It's goes this way, realistically, how many choices do we have, cheat? swing? cheat? swing? Cheat. face the unknown, swing, know what you really don't wanna know. But make the best of it. " But why do you think these are the only choices? I would never cheat on Mike and I don't think he'd ever cheat on me. That was never the reason we brought this up! We brought it up because we both get excited by the idea. I feel bad for you if your just going along with what your husband wants because your afraid that he'll cheat on you if you don't. That sounds like a dysfunctional relationship to me.

Hi, this is Amy. Most of my girlfriends talk about size as though it's important, but I can say that I never really noticed a difference. Most guys I've dated, and some were pretty tall guys, seemed about the same size. It was never something I ever even really thought about. I would say 6 inches or a little less. As far as Im concerned, bigger would just mean more painful. Mike is no bigger than average, but even that can hurt without enough lubrication. I don't orgasm through intercourse, even though I enjoy it very much. So to me its more about the guy knowing how to bring me to orgasm rather than his physical size.

That was what we kind of figured, and the reason I posted the question to begin with. Well, I can understand why. I'm sure that for someone experienced, it's much more enjoyable to meet with people who are as completely comfortable as they are. As for us, its true that we really don't know exactly what we'd be comfortable with, especially me. I think it would completely depend on the people we were with and the situation. One thing we are doing is talking a lot about it, which is fun and sure gets both of us turned on as an added bonus! Kind of fun to admit that here to a bunch of strangers.

This is Amy, and I have a question for the couples here who have been involved with swinging for a while and are very comfortable with it, especially for the women. How willing would you be to get together with couples who are brand new to swinging? Especially if those couples might be somewhat limited in the types of activity they want to try?

An attractive guy is an attractive guy, and I've met men of many different races that I find attractive. I also had a black boyfriend once. But I'm from Los Angels where things tend to be more integrated and people more open-minded. I'm pretty sure hubby feels the same way about women.