Member of the Week -- bbarnsworth

[LFM2]

This week's Members of the Week is bbarnsworth. We are glad to have them in the spotlight this week.

Swingers Board interviews are a way for us to get to know each other better. It is a way to acknowledge just how wonderfully varied a community we are. Every Sunday, a new interview will start and the old interview will be locked. Be sure to stop in and get to know them better by asking them every nosy, intimate, personal question you can think of.

Try to ask only one question (or group of questions) per post, to make it easier for the interviewee to answer the questions, and also to allow for others to ask their questions.

Try to keep this thread about the person being interviewed. If you want to comment about things you discover you have in common or just elaborate on a response, pm them and make a new friend or start a new thread about it. This is intended to be a friendly thread, so please don’t ask anything in a purposeful attempt to get a heated debate. Of course, nobody is required to answer a question that they do not want to.

Also, please keep in mind that any answers you post are viewable to complete strangers. There is some risk in that. Again, all questions are optional.

We'll start each interview with a few overview questions to get things started:

Gender (if not a couple):
If a couple, which one primarily posts:
Age(s):
Birthday(s):
Location:
Relationship status:
Swinging for how long?:
Prefer to swing with:
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Brief Intro:
Picture (if you feel comfortable sharing one):
Website (your own or one of your favorites)

[NCfuncouple98]

Who's idea was it to swing, and what was the initial reaction of the partner?

What's your most favorable swing moment/event?

What kind of music do you both listen to, and do you have a "song"?

[bbarnsworth]

Gender (if not a couple):

She's a she, he's a he

If a couple, which one primarily posts:

Primarily he, but she's always in the loop and we frequently talk about interesting threads. It can be fun to talk with her about a scenario and see how she would respond, and then tell her how everyone else here responded (almost always in more or less the same way!).

Age(s):

Early 40s.

Birthday(s):

Yep, we got 'em. Seriously, I saw a report recently that said if someone knows your birth date and state of birth, they have a 1% chance of guessing your ssn on the first try. That puts it in the realm of being capable of being guessed by brute force. So, we don't give out our birthdays anymore. Two friends have had their identities stolen, and it's too much of a mess.

Location:

We're in the southern half of Indiana. Yes, there's more than corn in Indiana (there's soybeans too).

Relationship status:

Very, very much in love. Married, with kids, and very happily so for a number of years now.

Swinging for how long?:

About a year now.

Prefer to swing with:

Couples and single males.

Biggest Pet Peeve:

We don't really have one. We don't like it when people do not offer us the respect and consideration of letting us know if they have to cancel.

Brief Intro:

The catalyst that got us into swinging was a conversation we had in July of 2008. My wife started it all She was openly wondering how wonderful it would feel to have multiple men massaging her at the same time. She loves massage This lead to lots and lots of talking, and then our first club visit about a month and a half later, and first soft swap. Everything went very well, and we had a great time.

My main focus was and is for my wife to have a great time in the lifestyle. Whatever she wants, so long as I'm happy with it, I'm really keen on helping her to achieve (outside of the lifestyle too). It took a while, mostly due to schedules, but we finally got a single male to work out for a full swap. I never really doubted I'd enjoy watching her have sex with someone else, but was very pleased with how much I enjoyed it. This was especially true with the second single male she had sex with, whom she really enjoyed.

After that second time, I asked her "So, do you think you're a swinger now?" and her response was a quite emphatic yes

We have always had a phenomenal relationship. Swinging's not had any negative effect on our relationship, and it's been a lot of fun.

If two years ago you'd asked me or my wife if we'd ever be swingers, both of us probably would have laughed at you. It's been an interesting ride, and we're both very glad we went down this road.

Website (your own or one of your favorites)

Ok, it's not swinger related but ... I love the xkcd.com web comic. Occasionally, there's lifestyle apropos strips (whether intentional or not).

She: "I don't have one; computer phobic!" (she jests, but she lets me handle all computer problems in our home)

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

Who's idea was it to swing, and what was the initial reaction of the partner?

What's your most favorable swing moment/event?

What kind of music do you both listen to, and do you have a "song"?

My wife provided a small catalyst that mentally lead us down the path, but it wasn't her intention to bring up swinging per se. We both walked down the path together. So, I think I can honestly say it was both of our ideas.

Both of us are open minded people. There were concerns of course when we actually considered swinging. Nothing that threw us though. The approach we took was to make sure it wasn't something that would harm our relationship, as near as we could tell, and to ensure that we had fun. If we didn't have fun, we'd keep at it for a bit just to see if it was the situation/people or the lifestyle. We wanted to make informed decisions.

For both my wife and I, the favorite moment was the second time she had sex with a single male. GREAT guy, GREAT sex, and we both had a wonderful time with it. It was kind of like "Ok, THIS is how it's supposed to be" or ala Thelma and Louise, "Now we know what all the fuss is about!"

My wife leans more towards country music, me towards rock in many forms, but we both listen to just about everything. Neither of us is a music snob and there's no sense in being vanilla in your music if you're going to be neapolitan in your sex

Some of Charlotte Church's music has special significance for us, but no "song" per se.

[JustAskJulie]

What are your favorite movies? books? What hobbies do you enjoy together (besides swinging)?

[Rackir]

Who is you're favorite author and why?

[fun4Ds]

Do you have a garden ?

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

What are your favorite movies? books? What hobbies do you enjoy together (besides swinging)?

Movies; If made for TV counts, we both very much enjoy the BBC production of Pride and Prejudice. Apropos to swinging, I enjoyed Sirens when it came out back in the 90s. Tom Hanks' Philadelphia was phenomenal. Like his old cast mate said, "Where did you learn to tear my heart out?". Older; An American in Paris. We're just scratching at the surface here.

Books: Oh lord. You need to see our library. Books and us, we're best mates The list is long an eclectic, from Chaucer to Griffin, from Shakespeare to Frost and so much in between.

Hobbies? I'm a die hard addict to being on the water. Grew up near the sea shore, and it got into my blood early. She; loves horseback riding.

Originally Posted by Rackir

Who is you're favorite author and why?

That goes back to books. I can't pin myself to a favorite, and neither can my wife. Our tastes are too eclectic for that. We've both enjoyed a large number of authors over our lives, and feel a house is empty without a substantial number of books.

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Do you have a garden ?

That depends on your definition It's more like a war. We're winning, but slowly. The prior owners of this property did not do a good job of maintaining it, and a number of invasive species really took over. We've managed to eek out a nice flower garden in one area. The war goes on elsewhere

[Rackir]

When it comes to meeting playmates, whats method your preference? Recruiting from friends, online personals, clubs, M&G's, or something else entirelly?

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by Rackir

When it comes to meeting playmates, whats method your preference? Recruiting from friends, online personals, clubs, M&G's, or something else entirelly?

There's on friend in particular whom my wife would very much like to have sex with. I would love for her to have sex with him too. I think he'd be a lot of fun for her. Unfortunately, he's also a co-worker. So, no play. If ever he is not a co-worker...

We haven't attempted to recruit among friends. Though, we do have one friend whom we know is a swinger. In fact, we helped him and his long time girlfriend along early on in their adventures in swinging. But, we don't play with them. He especially is like a member of the family, and we don't want to upset that cart.

We do use online personals, relying on Swing Lifestyle for that. It works ok for us, though it's been tough trying to weed through and fine good contacts. We've tried other sites, but Swing Lifestyle does it best. We don't spend much time chatting up new contacts though. We try to move to a meet up to see if in person chemistry works or not relatively quickly. We found out early on that over the net contact doesn't really help determine if you're going to be a good match or not, beyond bare basics. Plus, gently pushing to a meet up with a prospective couple or single tends to weed out the types who aren't really swingers.

We haven't been to a group m&g, though we plan to in the near future. There's a group about an hour a way that hosts regular m&g's, and we've been invited.

We've been to three different clubs, and had a great time at all of them. Locally, we're members of two clubs, though one is a bit far for us really.

[bbarnsworth]

Boy, you people let us off the member interview hook awfully easy

[Rackir]

What is one swinging expierence you havnt had yet, but that you really really want to expierence?

[bbarnsworth]

Argh! Not off the hook yet!

Originally Posted by Rackir

What is one swinging expierence you havnt had yet, but that you really really want to expierence?

For me, probably giving oral sex to a woman while having sex with the other women.

For her, probably a 5 or 6 on 1. She really likes that idea, and I am at liberty to set it up as a surprise if...if...the men in question are all men she's had sex with before. I'm working on it We've got a couple of single males willing to help.

Of course, as I said to her, this just means she'll have to keep on having sex with new guys until we accumulate enough willing partners. Oh darn.

[sweet_tna]

If you were a book, what would your title be, and in what section of the bookstore would you be found?

=)

[LFM2]

What is the primary way you meet partners? Clubs? Online?