Member of the Week -- SecretAsianMan

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You mentioned your leash in response to an earlier question, so what are the current limits of your leash?

(*laughing*) Well... certain activities are "past the leash" - like sexual intercourse with someone other than my current partner. But flirting... hugs... kisses... groping... etc., etc... is well within the bounds. Mutual nudity is fine... masturbation is fine... voyeurism is just dandy... heck, even sleeping in the same bed as another person is fine & dandy (as long as there's no serious sexual play happening)

I'm sure there are a few other activities which are within the boundaries of "okay" behavior with my girlfriend... (BDSM -activities, strip clubs, even going out with other people as a platonic "date") ...She's basically okay with any activities which don't involve my genitals entering another gal.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Also, you mentioned that not many couples are looking for your "type", how would you describe your type?

I've found that a lot of couples just aren't looking for another guy. So - simply being a "single male" makes me a less desirable commodity (so it seems).

Also, simply not being either black or white seems to work against me as well. (I can't tell you the number of profiles I've seen which specifically ask for only "white males" or "only looking for black males")

And the number of people I've seen who're only seeking male partners of a particular size. (Being an asian-male, odds are I'm probably not sporting 9-inches of ANYTHING unless you're talking about the latest electronic equipment. (*laughing*)) If the average size of the male member in the U.S. is about 6-inches... then I'm just under that with an average girth.

And (sadly) one of the things which I've had issues with are the number of people who ONLY want male partners who've been circumcized. Let's face it... I didn't get it done when I was an infant. I sure as heck don't want to have it done now that I'm an adult!

I'm also not one of those Ken-and-Barbie type gym rats who's got less than 5% body-fat. I'm not "fat" (at least, most of my friends have told me so - but maybe they're being nice) ... but I could probably hit a gym a few more times a year and lose about 10 - 20 lbs. I consider myself about "average" as far as builds go.

On a Kinsey scale of "0 - 6" ... where zero is purely 100% heterosexual and six is purely homosexual; I'd probably rate myself somewhere around a two ... definately prefer female partners - but I've had experiences where I've shared a female with another male and there was incidental contact... and I've had some experiences where there was slightly more than incidental contact with the other male. And I believe that I got a blowjob at a party one time from a transexual ... but I was pretty drunk at the time (but I do remember enjoying the experience)


So... what "type" do I fit into?? ....((shrug))

[LFM2]

Is there any advice you'd give to new single males wanting to swing?

What advice would you give to newbie couples?

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by LFM2

Is there any advice you'd give to new single males wanting to swing?

What advice would you give to newbie couples?

Gee... advice??

I guess the best advice I could give to anyone starting out in the lifestyle is to know that it's a "lifestyle" - not just a way to get laid. Don't go into it thinking y'all are going to get your rocks off every time. Get to know the people in your community and approach this like you would any other social-hobby.

No matter how "sexy" or "hot" you may think someone is ... (or how "hot & sexy" you are) ...if you don't enjoy hanging out with them - you're not going to want to spend time with them (no matter how many orgasms you have).

Relax... don't be disappointed if you don't have a sexual encounter at every turn. Just concentrate on enjoying your time with the other people... and if the mood strikes y'all and sex happens... hey, that's a bonus! But if you walk away from an encounter feeling sad or feeling like you "wasted your time" because you didn't have an orgasm... then maybe this isn't the right thing for you.

[rpu3]

Anaheim was our last city of residence. I miss a few things from So. Cal. Whereabouts in Orange County did you reside?

Any favorite vacation destinations?

Oh, and thanks for putting up the profile pic. It always gets a laugh out of me

[fun4Ds]

Sam, thanks for opening up to our questions. You seem like a pretty calm person by nature.

Can you cook ? If so, what dish would you enjoy preparing for a woman or guests ?

Do you like to swim ?

Do you fish ? If so, whats the biggest fish you have ever caught, and what species ?

Have you ever considered marriage ?

[Speed & Trixie]

Well, I have got to know how you came up with Secret Asian Man... that, is hilarious!

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Anaheim was our last city of residence. I miss a few things from So. Cal. Whereabouts in Orange County did you reside?

Any favorite vacation destinations?

Oh, and thanks for putting up the profile pic. It always gets a laugh out of me

I actually live in Los Angeles County (San Gabriel Valley - near South Pasadena)... but I work just across the border in Orange County (Seal Beach)

Favorite vacation destinations?? ...hmmm - vacation? What is this "vacation" you speak of???

... I tend to stick fairly close to home - recently came off a two year hiatus where I was doing nothing but "temp"-work and that pretty much drained all my savings & put me on the edge of financial disaster. Been working all year to get back to the point where I might be able to afford a vacation.

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Sam, thanks for opening up to our questions. You seem like a pretty calm person by nature.

Can you cook ? If so, what dish would you enjoy preparing for a woman or guests ?

I can SORTA cook ... my parents owned a little "mom & pop" chinese restaraunt throughout my adolescence & teen-years - so I was "free labor" for them during weekends. I've learned to cook a few things - but I'm really not much beyond basic stir-frying & microwaving.

I'm more of an "eating out" type of guy rather than someone who'll prepare a home-cooked meal.

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Do you like to swim ?

Y'know... I've never learned how to swim. I like to hang out in water-environments (pools, hot tubs, beaches, and lakes) - but I tend to stay near the shore.

[QUOTE=fun4Ds;366402]Do you fish ? If so, whats the biggest fish you have ever caught, and what species ?

Nope... never been fishing.

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Have you ever considered marriage ?

Right now... my current relationship is into its third year and she wants to get married at some point in the future. I think it would be nice - but I feel like there's SO much I'm barely in control of with my own life... I'd hate to tie someone else's life to my own if I'm going to "go down in flames"

...so I'm hoping my life settles into a more stable situation before I think about taking those steps.

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by Speed & Trixie

Well, I have got to know how you came up with Secret Asian Man... that, is hilarious!

When I was in high school... I was stuck with the "family car" that only had an AM-radio - as a result, the only station worth listening to in Los Angeles was an "oldies" station that played a lot of songs from the 50's / 60's ... which is where I first heard the song "Secret Agent Man"

I thought it was a very cool tune... and my friends and I started singing the repeated verse as "Secret ASIAN man" (my high school was predominantly asian & hispanic) and I thought it was the coolest (and silliest) thing.

Nowadays... most of my friends & the people I hang out with are white and it's one of those things where they've all pretty much grown "blind" to my ethnicity. They'll describe in a dozen different ways and then it'll dawn on them... "Oh yeah - he's asian!"

...so it started becoming a joke about how I was only "yellow on the outside" and the term "Secret Asian Man" took on a whole new meaning.

There's a small cadre of asian people at the Renaissance Faire here in Southern California - all of us portraying non-asian characters... which I've started calling the "Secret Asian Society" ... we've even got t-shirts with funny slogans which *might* be considered racist - if we weren't making these jokes about ourselves!

Slogans like....

"Secret Asian Society -- Ruining the Grade Curve for Everyone Else"
" -- Only Yellow On the Outside"
" -- Yes, I Can Drive. No, I Won't Fix Your Computer For You"

[fun4Ds]

I bet you thought my questions were a bit bizzar...... But I'm like that

Its how I make friends.

Now I just need to teach you how to grill a brisket. It takes all day and a six pack.

Then me and Mrs.fun could show ya what fishing is all about.

But first, some swimming lessons, cause we would be in a boat. You know, just in case.....

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

I bet you thought my questions were a bit bizzar...... But I'm like that

Its how I make friends.

Now I just need to teach you how to grill a brisket. It takes all day and a six pack.

Then me and Mrs.fun could show ya what fishing is all about.

But first, some swimming lessons, cause we would be in a boat. You know, just in case.....

(*laughing*) ... nah - while your questions might've been a bit off the wall ... they're hardly fall into the realm of bizarre.

Grilled brisket, eh? Sounds like a blast - although I'll pass on the six pack. I haven't had more than a touch of alcohol in nearly 5 years and my tolerance for booze has dropped to absolute NOTHING. I get drunk just being around alcohol! (*laughing*)

I've had tons of offers to teach me how to swim - I just don't feel comfortable submerged / floating in the water. Just make sure I've got a life-vest on & all should be well.

[TNT]

A few easy questions for you...

What's your favorite color?

Do you have a favorite movie? Favorite book?



Teresa

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by TNT

A few easy questions for you...

What's your favorite color?

Do you have a favorite movie? Favorite book?


Teresa

I don't reallly have a "favorite" color - although I look pretty darn good in red ... I tend to skew a bit towards blue or black.

Picking a favorite movie or book would be impossible since I've got SO many of them that'll I'll read/watch over & over again ... you could quite literally hang a sign on my front door "Thousands of Titles to Choose From"

[LFM2]

Thanks for letting us pick your brain for an entire week!! You're quite the guy and I mean that in a good way!!