Member of the week - LikeMinds321

[cplnuswing]

Hi to one of my favorite posters

What are the issues (if any) that as an adult really get under your skin and just so go against your core nature that even when it doesn't directly affect you or you know it's not in your best interest to address them, you can't resist trying to do something about it whenever you encounter them?

As a follow-up, throughout your life were the changes in how you respond to these things a gradual continuum or was there more of a watershed moment when you decided you weren't going to let things slide anymore?

[Alura]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I immediately thought back to my childhood when reading this.

All through school I was quiet. I didn't speak up in class for fear of having the wrong answer or saying something that would sound stupid. I wished I would have said what was on my mind.

In gradeschool - a parochial school - I was especially fearful of speaking up because I saw so many mean boys who would say and do horrible things to other students. I can remember wanting to defend those who were being terribly treated by these boys. I wish I had said something, and even more than speak up, I would have loved to swing a fist at them. It would have been well worth the broken hand I would have no doubt walked away with, and had I been expelled it would have been a bonus because I'd have gotten out of that hell hole.

Overcoming fear has such rewards. Thankfully I feel I've done that. There really aren't fears that encumber me anymore.

LM

Short of a life-threatening experience, I can't imagine your falling prey to fear.

Thanks for sharing that part of your childhood, LM. I just spent a few moments thinking back over all the folks I've known who went to parochial schools. I'm trying, unsuccessfully, to remember just one who considered it a positive experience.

Do you think your experience with parochial schools had any influence on your decision to not have children?

Mr. Alura

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by cplnuswing

Hi to one of my favorite posters

Thank you. I feel the same about you.

What are the issues (if any) that as an adult really get under your skin and just so go against your core nature that even when it doesn't directly affect you or you know it's not in your best interest to address them, you can't resist trying to do something about it whenever you encounter them?

Seeing people try to take advantage of others, try to get what they want through intimidating others, or treating others disrespectfully.

I tend to want to step in and do something. These are moments I'm filled with emotion and I have to focus very hard to keep my emotion restrained and to think first rather than react without thought.

As a follow-up, throughout your life were the changes in how you respond to these things a gradual continuum or was there more of a watershed moment when you decided you weren't going to let things slide anymore?

I'd say gradual, because I learned early on that many people don't want someone to intervene for them. They can take offense to that. I don't blame them, because how they may handle things could be fine with them and the situation may not be rilling them as it does me.

I am always astounded at how much abuse people will take from others. And when I see this I am more irritated at those who continue to take it than those who are the abusers. It is a two way street. If you allow abuse to happen to you, people will continue to take advantage of you and treat you poorly.

Looking at this issue from another angle, I think finding myself at a moment in time when I decided to handle my life differently and take charge was an amazingly powerful experience. That was a watershed moment.

One night, while in college, I was sitting on a bed naked with a man in the dark, about to have sex for the first time (because I thought it was time I caught up to what everyone else was doing at my age). To my surprise I felt overcome by something from inside me - like a hidden part of myself just waiting to get out. This "self" told me that I didn't want to be there, I didn't have to be there, and I didn't have to have sex with this man. The best part is that I felt no shame or embarrassment in my decision to leave.

As I walked out to my car I felt I had just exploded through a self-imposed wall and set myself free.

LM

[Alura]

Well written, LM! That we can choose between two or more options is what sets mankind apart! Thank you!

Mr. Alura

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

As I walked out to my car I felt I had just exploded through a self-imposed wall and set myself free.

LM

Wow. Thanks for sharing that story. I can totally identify with the freedom that comes with breaking through those walls.

=)

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Alura

Short of a life-threatening experience, I can't imagine your falling prey to fear.

Thanks for sharing that part of your childhood, LM. I just spent a few moments thinking back over all the folks I've known who went to parochial schools. I'm trying, unsuccessfully, to remember just one who considered it a positive experience.

Do you think your experience with parochial schools had any influence on your decision to not have children?

Mr. Alura

I think people find themselves closest to fear when they feel they have no control over a situation, once you realize that you do, the fear subsides.

I have not been in touch with anyone I went to grade school with so I have no idea how positive their experience was. It would be interesting to know though.

Parochial school had no influence over my decision not to have children. The fantasy of being a mom was never part of me, not something I had any interest or instinct for. I was a babysitter only because I wanted the money and didn't enjoy watching kids. Money, and the freedom it would eventually give me one day to be on my own, was my motivation to babysit.

My comments about getting out of the house are probably making people think I had a less than ideal home life growing up. Just the opposite. I had (and still have) great parents who were always positive, encouraging and loving, and good siblings too. I think I was always destined to be an independent gal. At the age of 14 I started buying kitchenware (with those stamp books - can't remember the name) for the apartment I would have one day.

The Catholic church did influence my view on family planning. The church's banning birth control (rhythm method only for birth control) and being anti abortion wasn't something I could accept. It was a "leave it up to God" attitude that made no sense to me.

LM

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Alura

Well written, LM! That we can choose between two or more options is what sets mankind apart! Thank you!

Mr. Alura

WoW! Three exclamation marks in that post, Alura! I must have struck a cord!

LM

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Wow. Thanks for sharing that story. I can totally identify with the freedom that comes with breaking through those walls.

=)

sweet~ I hope you will be interviewd one day, then you can share your "breaking through those walls" story. I'd like to hear it.

Put yourself on the interview sign up list!

LM

[sweet_tna]

Oh, I'm on the sign up list, all right . . . stay tuned, no doubt my turn is coming . . .

=)

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

My comments about getting out of the house are probably making people think I had a less than ideal home life growing up. Just the opposite. I had (and still have) great parents who were always positive, encouraging and loving, and good siblings too.

I think the ideal childhood is one that you look back on fondly, but wasn't so good that you never wanted to grow up and leave.


Now, a serious, soul-searching type of question:

Thongs, Boy Shorts, Boxers, or Granny Panties?

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Now, a serious, soul-searching type of question:

Thongs, Boy Shorts, Boxers, or Granny Panties?

Please don't be too disappointed, but I rarely wear panties.

When I do, what I wear depends on what's on top of the panties. I don't wear anything under jeans and I'm a real jeans girl so if you ever meet me in jeans you won't find any undies on me.

With a dress or skirt I have worn a thong or a something skimpy that I like and think fits well.

At home after taking a shower I sometimes step into a pair of MrLM's boxer briefs; they feel so comfortable and look pretty good on me. In the summer I wear them instead of shorts...only in the house, of course.

LM

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

WoW! Three exclamation marks in that post, Alura! I must have struck a cord!

LM

I know I have other mispelled words in this thread, but this one really bugged me and I didn't get back to it in time to edit the post.

"chord"

LM

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Please don't be too disappointed, but I rarely wear panties.

Disappointed?
Let's just say my laptop was almost catapulted from my lap to the floor.
Or, is it a trebuchet? Nah, I think catapult is the correct choice.



No more questions from me.
Just a statement:
"You Rock!"

[Alura]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

WoW! Three exclamation marks in that post, Alura! I must have struck a cord!

LM

I felt enthusiastic, LM.


Alura