NandTfromCA - MOTW #29

[jennandjamesinm]

This week's Member of the Week is NandTfromCA. We are glad to have them in the spotlight this week.

Swingers Board interviews are a way for us to get to know each other better. It is a way to acknowledge just how wonderfully varied a community we are. Every Tuesday, a new interview will start and the old interview will be locked. Be sure to stop in and get to know them better by asking them every nosey, intimate, personal question you can think of.

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We'll start each interview with a few overview questions to get things started:

Question limit (as the interviewee you may limit the questions on a per post or per user basis if you wish):
Gender (if not a couple):
If a couple, which one primarily posts:
Age(s):
Birthday(s):
Location:
Relationship status:
Swinging for how long?:
Prefer to swing with:
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Brief Intro:
Picture (if you feel comfortable sharing one):
Website (your own or one of your favorites):

[prettylady]

Welcome to the spot light.
Your going to have alot of fun
Your friend,
Prettylady

[flkeyscouple]

Hello N & T,
I don't know your limitations, so forgive me if I ask too many questions!

How did you get into the lifestyle?

What was your best, and worst, experience?

What's your favorite hobby (other than swinging & sex!!)?

and lastly, how do you like being in the 'hot' seat of MOTW?


Looking forward to your posts!!
Sarah

[NandTfromCA]

Couple: Male half posts more than female half
Age(s): Her (N) 32, Him (T) 33
Birthday(s): June 19, September 25
Location: Shingle Springs, CA
Relationship status: Married
Swinging for how long?: 11 months
Prefer to swing with: Couples
Biggest Pet Peeve: People who don't treat others as they would like to be treated.
Brief Intro: We have been together since 1992 and are head-over-heals in love with each other. We have been open with each other about everything from the beginning so our exploration into swinging was the fulfillment of fantasies that we had spoken about for many years.

N’s passions are figure drawing and belly dancing.
T enjoys Jiu Jitsu and kickboxing and is passionate about coaching and developing people (his job).

Most of our free time is spent doing things with our daughters (3 and 5) and other family and friends…zoo, park, watching animal planet (they love Jeff Corwin...mommy kinda likes him too ), etc.

We don’t need to tell you the other way we spend our free time


Picture: See profile

Prettylady- Thank you gorgeous!

Flkeyscouple-
How did you get into the lifestyle?: Conversations near the beginning of our marriage, to seeing a VH1 special 2 years ago, to going to our first off-premise club last November, to our first full swap in December.

What was your best, and worst, experience? Best and worst are always difficult to pin down, but we’ll try. Assuming this is a swinging related question, one of our best experiences was with a couple that is in CO. We met them online, chatted with them several times on the phone and online, and decided it was time to pay a visit to family out in CO…and while we were at it, meet some new friends in person. Even though you speak on the phone with someone, you never really know if you will click in person. Well, we did and the night we spent with them was amazing. Not just the sex but the whole thing. We met them again before we left CO and are meeting them in Las Vegas (we’re running a race there) in December.

Worst experience would probably be when we first started out, we ended up leaving an off-premise club with 2 other couples that we just met. There wasn’t a lot of attraction, physical or otherwise, for either of us but we thought it would still be fun (the newness of everything was a thrill). Between the lack of connection and a difference in play and communication styles, it wasn’t that good. It wasn’t a terrible experience but it was probably the least fun of all the experiences we have had…a learning experience.

What's your favorite hobby (other than swinging & sex!!)? N- Belly dancing. T- Jiu Jitsu

and lastly, how do you like being in the 'hot' seat of MOTW? It’s fun. We don't mind being the center of attention, as long as it's not for too long and we can swap to someone else

(Edited because we had a typo for T's birthday)

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Hello N & T,
I don't know your limitations, so forgive me if I ask too many questions!

Ask as many as you like

[LFM2]

Hi NandT...

Mrs. LFM here. I just want to say that I've admired you from afar!

Do you find it hard to plan playtime around your kids' schedules and your own?
Is it hard to be in this lifestyle with younger kids?
Does anyone in your family know about your lifestyle?

[NandTfromCA]

LFM2- Thanks for the kind words! You have a very sexy avatar!

Do you find it hard to plan playtime around your kids' schedules and your own? Not really. The girls stay the night at grandma’s almost every Saturday evening. Both grandma and the girls look forward to it. Also, we will sometimes meet couples for lunch while the girls are in pre-school / kindergarten too. Lunches are nice because we don’t miss out on any family time that way.

Sometimes we forgo some of the parties and traveling, but on the other hand, it keeps us balanced. If we didn’t have kids, we might find ourselves partying and traveling too much.

Is it hard to be in this lifestyle with younger kids? It's probably easier now than it will be than when they are older.

This question has two parts for us. One is the logistical aspect with babysitting and spending the time with them that they need. The other is their awareness, or lack thereof, of what we are doing.

Family being close takes care of the logistical issue. If it’s not a Saturday we usually bring the girls to the sitter (usually family) shortly before they go to bed and then pick them up first thing in the morning. That way they are sleeping during most of our away time.

From an awareness standpoint, they are too young to have a clue. We haven’t gotten any questions about where, why, who, or anything that might be a red flag. As they get older, we will have to increase our discretion level, be ready to answer some interesting questions, and make some decisions about our social life.

Does anyone in your family know about your lifestyle? None of N’s family knows but T’s; brothers, sister, and uncle and aunt know. His dad has asked about it twice but he didn’t press the issue after one time with N saying “yeah right” and another of T saying “why would you think that?” Needless to say, it's obvious that he is suspicious.

[MoonLightKiss]

First off, let me start by saying, great avatar. And I have seen your ad at Swing Lifestyle and very nice pics there too.

My question is, do your vanilla friends know about your lifestyle, and if so, do they treat you differently now than they did before?

Who takes care of cleaning the house? Is it a joint effort where you split the chores accordingly, or does it normally fall to one or the other?

Favorite soda?

Pizza? Everything, or just some things or just plain cheese?

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by MoonLightKiss

First off, let me start by saying, great avatar.

Yours is great too. Very romantic.


My question is, do your vanilla friends know about your lifestyle- several of N’s know, two of T's friends know (one is a girl that works for him... ...we would never fool around with her but she is a freak), and one of our couple friends know (they asked).

and if so, do they treat you differently now than they did before?- N’s girlfriends and T's friends don’t treat us any differently. We have only met the couple friends that we told twice since we told them. The first time was at a vanilla party at their place. He was pretty much the same. She was REALLY flirty with T…running up to him and jumping up in his arms while wrapping her legs around him when we first got there, among a few other things. Since then, we had them for dinner and everything was pretty much the same except we didn’t have to watch our words with them as much anymore. It was very nice.

Who takes care of cleaning the house? Is it a joint effort where you split the chores accordingly, or does it normally fall to one or the other? It’s a total joint effort. Sometimes T does more and other times N does more. We both try to do just a little more than our share so it works out well. T hates taking the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and N doesn't like to vacum so we usually do those two things for each other.

Favorite soda? N- Pepsi, T- Doesn't drink soda. He’s a water guy.

Pizza? Everything, or just some things or just plain cheese? N- Anything but mushrooms and onions. Not crazy about olives either but will take one for the team with them. T- Pile it on!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

Does anyone in your family know about your lifestyle? None of N’s family knows but T’s; brothers, sister, and uncle and aunt know. His dad has asked about it twice but he didn’t press the issue after one time with N saying “yeah right” and another of T saying “why would you think that?” Needless to say, it's obvious that he is suspicious.

This begs the question. How did it come up (and how did you eventually come out with it ) to your family? What is it that has caused your dad to ask on multiple occasions?

[NandTfromCA]

This begs the question. – Yes it does

How did it come up to your family? I proactively told my two brothers and uncle (who is my age) because we are all great friends as well as family. When I first told them it was kinda a guy thing, like “you would not believe what happened last week”. A mix of bragging (not proud to say) and getting this crazy secret off my chest. My sister asked my brother about it after hearing dad ask the questions and picking up on something N said about sex with others while being married. My brother played dumb but then told us about it, so we came out to sis. She didn’t bat an eye.

What is it that has caused your dad to ask on multiple occasions? When I said to him, “Why would you ask that?”, he said it’s because we all of a sudden where going out more. When he said that though, we really hadn’t been going out that much. I think he pieced it together from a combination of things:
- He knows how tolerant we are about fringe activity (homosexuality, dressing different, unconventional religion, etc)
- In 2004 and 2005 we went to a well known Halloween party that many people consider edgy…but swingers would consider very tame.
- Both of us started dressing nicer or more fashionably more often.
- We had rarely asked them to watch the girls for us in the past but within the last few months had asked them twice.

If we were more secretive or lied a little more about things, the people that have asked might not have been so suspicious. We are not really trying to hide our lifestyle from people. We’re just trying not to overtly advertise it.

[rpu3]

From a former Californian (now residing in Ohio)...

A best thing and a worst thing about living in California?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

- We had rarely asked them to watch the girls for us in the past but within the last few months had asked them twice.

.

I take it your parents are not the ones that watch the kids every Saturday.

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by rpu3

From a former Californian (now residing in Ohio)...

A best thing and a worst thing about living in California?

Best- We are 60 minutes from some of the best skiing in the world and 120 minutes from one of the coolest cities (SF). While at the same time, we live out in the country on 5 acres…even though we are 30 minutes from Sacramento.

Worst- Not much...maybe the litigousness or state regulation that is not always conducive to good economics

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I take it your parents are not the ones that watch the kids every Saturday.

Mom, who is single, lives in a granny flat on our property and is the one who watches the girls on most Saturdays. Funny enough, even though she lives so close and watches the girls so much she doesn't have a clue about about our lifestyle. Just chalks it up to us being really social.

Dad and stepmom have been together for as long as I have memories and I sometimes refer to them as "parents". My siblings are actualy half but thats not something that crosses my mind much.

T