Thrax - Member of the Week #21

[jennandjamesinm]

This week's Member of the Week is Thrax. We are glad to have him in the spotlight this week.

Swingers Board interviews are a way for us to get to know each other better. It is a way to acknowledge just how wonderfully varied a community we are. Every Tuesday, a new interview will start and the old interview will be locked. Be sure to stop in and get to know them better by asking them every nosey, intimate, personal question you can think of.

Every SwingersBoard member is allowed to ask the amount of questions specified by the interviewee in the answers to the default questions. If they discover that they chose too high or low a limit, they may change their choice.

Try to keep this thread about the person being interviewed. If you want to comment about things you discover you have in common or just elaborate on a response, pm them and make a new friend or start a new thread about it. This is intended to be a friendly thread, so please don’t ask anything in a purposeful attempt to get a heated debate. Of course, nobody is required to answer a question that they do not want to.

Also, please keep in mind that any answers you post are viewable to complete strangers. There is some risk in that. Again, all questions are optional.

We'll start each interview with a few overview questions to get things started:

Question limit (as the interviewee you may limit the questions on a per post or per user basis if you wish):
Gender (if not a couple):
If a couple, which one primarily posts:
Age(s):
Birthday(s):
Location:
Relationship status:
Swinging for how long?:
Prefer to swing with:
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Brief Intro:
Picture (if you feel comfortable sharing one):
Website (your own or one of your favorites):

[Thrax]

Number of questions: No limit right now.
Single Male
Age: Chronologically? 49
Birthday(s): August 7, 1956
Location: Just south of Pittsburgh
Relationship status: Dating in the vanilla world with no current exclusive relationship
Swinging for how long?: Five years
Prefer to swing with: Couples and single females
Biggest Pet Peeve: Rude people (life can be difficult enough sometimes; I resent rude folks wasting my time making my unhappy)
Brief Intro: 6’, <190 lbs. (my New Year resolution is working so far), dark brown hair with lots of gray showing up, hazel eyes, ISTJ (Myers Briggs), nudist for 20 years. I am an official member of the grammar/spelling police, but I am much more lax in enforcement on boards like this. I figure that folks are trying to get their ideas out there fast and I give them the benefit of the doubt for any “mistakes.” And I appreciate that in return. However, there are some cases…
Favorite website: When I’m not on this site I can often be found on fark.com
Current pic, for a limited time only:

[Vespertine]

My, my... you are handsome, Thrax!

Have you ever been married? If so, were you and the wife in the Lifestyle together?

What got you interested in Nudism? (<--- Is that a real word?)

Favorite book?

Favorite movie?

Favorite drink?

Favorite Food?

Favorite Song?

Favorite place you've been?

[Thrax]

Sorry. No comment.

[Vespertine]

I retract my questions then.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

My, my... you are handsome, Thrax!

Gee whiz...yer makin' me blush!

Have you ever been married? If so, were you and the wife in the Lifestyle together?

No. The longest relationship I was in was 8 years, and when she made it a long-distance relationship at the 6.5 year mark I had an idea it was nearly gone. We were somewhat freaky within the relationship but never seriously considered going outside of it. It was over in late 2000. Several other multi-month thangs, but no marriage, no ma'am.

What got you interested in Nudism? (<--- Is that a real word?)

Yes, it is a real word.

I was always extremely self-conscious. I found out, about 15 years ago, through Myers-Briggs that I am an EXTREME Introvert. That, coupled with the fact that I didn't hit the puberty goal thing until late high school/early college was a bit of a damper on the psyche. I should have probably been in therapy, but I worked myself out of it. In my early 20s I started traveling internationally, alone, which helped me finally with the wallflower/self-confidence issue to some extent. I was still extremely shy about my body, but decided that if I went to a local nudist resort, that I could come to terms with myself. That was in 1986. It seemed to work. The most important thing that I found out -- similar to swinging -- is that nudists come in every shape and size. And I just love being naked. Because I can't get too much sun now, at my dermatologist's recommendation, I am mostly a nudist at home (comfortably from about May to Oct), and at other random locations.

Favorite book?

Sorry, no such thing.

I’ve worked in libraries (public, academic, business) since high school. I use my local libraries a lot for both work and pleasure. I often don’t buy a book until I’ve read it and decide I really like it, unless, of course, I can find something for 50 cents that looks interesting. I prefer non-fiction to fiction, but a good book means that I can't put it down. Here are some of my likes off the top o' my noggin:

Non-Fiction
Guns, Germs, and Steel – Jared Diamond
Mountains of the Heart – Scott Weidensaul
A Distant Mirror – Barbara Tuchman
Darwin’s Ghost – Steve Jones
The Mountain of Names: A History of the Human Family – Alex Shoumatoff
Anything by Bill Bryson (Notes from a Small Island, A Walk in the Woods, In a Sunburned Country, etc.)

Fiction
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer – Peter Suskind
I, Claudius – Robert Graves
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The Barrytown Trilogy – Roddy Doyle
Anything by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy, etc.)
The Harry Potter series (But I must admit, as the character development improves, the settings become less believable in the world Rowling has created. Still fun though.)

Book I have come to hate: The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. At first blush it’s exciting and interesting, but it’s poorly researched and presented, misleading (based on fact? HA!), and features some of the most STOOPID characters I’ve encountered in a novel in a long time. If I can figure out at least half the clues before the protagonist(s) then there is a problem. Still, I’ll probably eventually see the movie to see how they handle it. Basically a load of crap though. Just wish I’d written that load o’ crap.

Favorite movie?

Again, nothing that REALLY stands out. I think I might be indecisive, but I'm not sure...

But for movies, it’s mostly humor:
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Young Frankenstein
Animal House
Princess Bride
The Jerk
A Christmas Story (Fuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhddddggggge!)
Early Woody Allen films: Sleeper, Love & Death...
Many parts of Marx Bros. films: Night at the Opera, Day at the Races, etc.
Animation: Toy Story, Shrek, The Incredibles, and all of the Wallace & Gromit movies

If you must get serious, I thought that Sixth Sense was an outstanding movie (who knew Bruce Willis could ACT?). Kenneth Branagh’s Henry V was so good that I forgot at times that I was watching Shakespeare. Blade Runner, Godfather I, Lord of the Rings, Manchurian Candidate, the first Star Wars trilogy, and Singin’ in the Rain. Oh, and Dr. Strangelove. Yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Movie trivia: In Citizen Kane, he called his sled Rosebud, but what was the actual manufacturer’s model name and symbol on the sled? Send me your answer or post it here on the thread. A female winner may get to choose her award (no monetary value, of course), if it can be arranged. A male winner, well, you have the proud distinction of being a true film geek and I’m sure it will be acknowledged on this board.

Favorite drink?

Hmmmmmm. I never grew up. I still love ice-cold milk with cereal, cookies, pastries, or most anything containing chocolate.

My favorite adult beverage is beer. Hard to decide which is best. Corsendonk (Belgian)? A good wheat beer? A hearty English bitter? I'm pretty easy as long as it's tasty. And I am no snob. My college years were spent drinking Rolling Rock, so with the Rock there is still that marginal thrill of the (barely) illicit beverage. Just no Coors, please. As far as I'm concerned, Coors is the Earl Grey of beer. Weak and perfumey.

And while we're on it, I prefer tea to coffee. I wasn't much of a caffeine drinker until I worked in "scenic" Slough (west of London), UK, for a couple of months in 1985 and got hooked on the mid-morning and mid-afters tea breaks. Darjeeling is good, English or Irish Breakfast I like, and Prince of Wales tea is good. But heaven is in the chai (tea w/cardamom and other spices) I got in India. Thick as mud and sweeter than Tupelo honey. Mmmmmmm.

Favorite Food?
Too many to consider. My favorite MEAL is what my Mom considers the German New Years "Good Luck" meal: Pork roast, mashed potatoes, sauerkraut, gravy, and breadballs. (Before you Beavis and Buttheads snicker about breadballs, let me tell you about them. Take very plain stuffing/dressing [cubed bread, celery, onions, salt, a raw egg or two, maybe something else, I don't know; mix everything together and form into tennis ball shapes; place around roast to cook and soak up the juices; finish off by heating in a skillet and rolling them around a little] Excuse me, I have to take a breather now. Okay, I'm back.) And vegetables? You need VEGETABLES with all of that?

Favorite Song?

Pop? Probably Unchained Melody.
Classical: Probably Cantique de Jean Racine by Gabriel Faure
I'm a sucker for simple melody and elegant harmonies.
I'll post later about favorite music -- it doesn't exist.

Favorite place you've been?

Aaaaarrrggh! Too many to mention because I realize in my middle age there are different things I like about different places. Here are a few: Pretty much all of New Zealand and Australia. Southern France. Northwest Ireland (where some of my ancestors are from). Cornwall. Cinque Terre (Italy). Garmisch-Partenkirchen (Bavaria). The GRrraaaaand Caaaannnnyonnnnnn.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I retract my questions then.

Quitter!

[sexyshelby]

Book that you are currently reading? (or just finished or about to start...or all three?)

Place that you havent been yet but would most like to visit?

Favourite song to listen to while having sex?

[HappyPeople]

Haha, I actually liked the da Vinci Code.


Welcome to the board.


My question:

Cats or dogs?

[Dynamar]

Just one question...

Will you marry me?

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

Book that you are currently reading? (or just finished or about to start...or all three?)

I'm splitting my reading between two books. One is Last Train to Memphis by Peter Guralnick. It's the first volume of his two-volume bio of Elvis. The other book is The Burgermeister's Daughter by Steven Ozment. It's about the "scandalous behavior" of a young woman in 16th-century Germany. Turns out not to be as interesting as it appeared, although it contains a lot of factoids about life during that period, and I enjoy storing up such nuggets of info.

Place that you havent been yet but would most like to visit?

Any one of several islands in the South Pacific. Haven't decided on a specific one yet, though.

Favourite song to listen to while having sex?

Whatever she wants to listen to. Frankly, I can't think of a favorite song of mine for that situation, but occasionally, if there is no music on during sex, Foghat's Slow Ride or Ravel's Bolero will pop unbidden into my head.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

Haha, I actually liked the da Vinci Code.

You and millions and millions of others! That’s okay, I don’t think any less of you…yet. Actually, what annoys me most about the book is that Brown builds a thesis on unsupportable speculation and misinterpretation, if not outright misrepresentation, of religious and political history. But that’s just my opinion…

Cats or dogs?

I’m allergic to most variations of both, but I prefer the mindless friendliness of dogs to the more finicky remoteness of cats. Just to stereotype. However, I can understand and appreciate that "cool" cat aloofness thing very well. Close friends of mine have two of each. If I'm around their pets but haven't taken my Claritin (anti-allergy med) then they all are all over me. But it seems the cats stay away when I take the Claritin.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Just one question...
Will you marry me?

Hmmmmm…maybe. I’m looking for a woman to support me in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed. Contact me privately and I'll tell you where to ship the financial disclosure forms.

[EvilMJ]

Hey Thrax, nice to see you in the hot seat...heh heh

What do you like the least about yourself?
What do you like the most about yourself?

Wow, you have gone a long time without marriage. (Not necessarily a bad thing). Is this a conscious decision that you made, or was it just the way things have worked out?

And my last question for the moment:

How have you found the experience of swinging as a single male? Difficult..fun? Inquiring minds want to know.

Evil MJ

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

What do you like the least about yourself?

I'm still very self-conscious in a lot of situations. At least initially. I have learned to compensate for my shyness, but Meet & Greets or the first time at a new club, or showing up at a house party where I don't know too many people can be especially nerve-wracking for me. It's not quite paranoia, but it goes beyond what I think of as "first date nerves."

A lot of my self-consciousness, doctor , probably can be traced back to my poor self-image. I was healthy but scrawny, hit puberty VERY late in comparison to my peers, and to boot, I'm a "grower", not a "shower." Combine that with basic shyness, and...

However, once the ice has been broken, smashed into little pieces, and melted, I can become very comfortable in most social/sexual situations with friendly people. I just have the need to be accepted on some level by the person or group. When that happens, people usually pooh-pooh any thought that I was at first very worried about acceptance.

Yeah, I needed therapy. Still do.

What do you like the most about yourself?

My open-mindedness. I'm really a live and let live kind of guy. And I also like finding out about people, their cultures, religions, cuisines, etc. My international travel made me realize how very American I am, but opened my eyes very early to the good and bad aspects of the U.S., as well as the good and bad aspects of other countries. I don't agree with every person's belief system or traditions, but it helps to know something about our differences but also realize our similarities.

One of my current projects is to assure myself that Canadian women ARE warm-hearted, and warm in other ways!

Wow, you have gone a long time without marriage. (Not necessarily a bad thing). Is this a conscious decision that you made, or was it just the way things have worked out?

I think my social backwardness hurt me early on, but I had every (vague) intention of getting married at some point. My most recent relationship, the one I finally gave up on in 2000, was the closest I got. I had some other exclusive relationships with great women prior to that, but most of those each lasted several months to a year or so. I am a little bit of a loner, though, so it may be that I am just a tad difficult to live with. And now (even though I'm open-minded), I can be set in my ways. Practicing for retirement, I guess.

So, yeah, I think that's just how things worked out.

How have you found the experience of swinging as a single male? Difficult..fun?

Yes.

The two biggest difficulties were overcoming my personal barrier of introversion and fighting the "single male" stereotype. As problematic as it is for me initially, once I fight past that introductory stage at Meet & Greets, house parties, campouts, etc., I think I'm accepted for my restraint (that is not a BDSM reference), my manners, good grooming, and sparkling repartee. I guess my initial shyness keeps me from getting "grabby", at least at first , although as it was mentioned in the Myers Briggs personality thread, shy people can be perceived as arrogant and aloof, too.

And most swing experiences have truly been fun for me. And I mean that in a sense of sexual satisfaction, but also actually "fun". I found out very quickly what is often mentioned on this board, that swinging is about sex, but it's not SOLELY about sex. For me, and a lot of people here, there usually has to be that other hard-to-define connection in a swing encounter. I gravitate to individuals with a sense of humor, and frankly, I like sex to be mostly "fun", too. I prefer that folks laugh with me, rather than at me, of course.