Thrax - Member of the Week #21

[Uomo]

What first inspired you to swing ... as a single male?

(Related): How do you compare sex in the lifestyle to sex in the singles dating scene? Do you have a preference?

Also: I once fell under the impression you were a physician. I'm curious: do you have formal training in the medical arts ... or just an apparent interest in all things anatomical?

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Uomo

What first inspired you to swing ... as a single male?

I was a couple of lonely months out of relationship and I wasn't gettin' any.

That's sort of true. I was having difficulty getting back into dating after a long absence. I was a little burned out emotionally and not really meeting women I wanted to spend much time with. And yes, I was horny. At that time there was an article in a local weekly entertainment paper, -- or maybe even a daily paper, I don't remember -- about the legal problems a SW Penna swing club was having. I read all the articles I could find on the club (Mt. Retreat, now closed), looked at their website, looked at the NASCA site and other swinger websites. I just did a lot of research. That's my style. And of course all this information intrigued me and got me even more worked up.

A lot of what I read was really exciting, because I had been previously fairly conservative sexually. My previous relationships had mostly been satisfying, but all had been monogamous. I'm generally a rules-follower. Since I wasn't committed to anyone I decided to experiment and see what would happen. I had never taken a step out of the "normal" sexual bounds. I wanted to see what "true no-strings attached" sex was. Well, of course, there's no such thing but I did find out about swinging.

I was so nervous when I finally got to the club the first time that I almost made myself sick. After the tour of the club I sat at a stool right in the middle of the bar, which was a good move. I finally worked up the nerve to talk to a couple. I told them it was my first time attempting swinging. They and some other people answered a lot of my questions and told several extremely funny stories of their previous encounters and some of the parties at the club. It ended up being a great night. I didn't play with the couple at the bar, but I did later with another couple. Later, sitting with a group of club members at one of the tables, someone was just tossing some dice around. A woman sitting beside me told me she'd give me a blowjob if I rolled a "lucky seven." I think she might have regardless. She gave me three tries!

Anyway, as I've said before, I quickly learned that, at least for me, there really is no "no-strings-attached" sex, and it can't take the place of a true committed relationship. I realize how lucky I was with my first swing encounter, but it also made me optimistic that my chances of getting laid at swing events were reasonably good!

Since then I go to a club, house party, campout, or meet up with a couple or single woman in the lifestyle every one or two months. It's generally a real interesting diversion to vanilla dating...and I've done a few things I would have never really thought I'd ever do.

How do you compare sex in the lifestyle to sex in the singles dating scene? Do you have a preference?

For one thing, I think women who enjoy swinging are much more apt to be comfortable with themselves as sexual beings. They seem, for the most part, to be able to relax much easier in a sexual encounter. And as a rule, I think women who swing are more orgasmic and have more fun because they can let themselves go a little. I find that "date sex" can be a little more tense because sometimes there is the underlying tension of the "good girl" who may not want to show that she enjoys this TOO much. And yes, there are a lot of divorced and widowed "good girls" out there.

So, I find swinging sex to be a lot less inhibited, much more relaxed.

I once fell under the impression you were a physician. I'm curious: do you have formal training in the medical arts ... or just an apparent interest in all things anatomical?

That's a new one. I don't know where you got that.

No, I just read a lot for my freelance work in the publishing industry, so I have lots of useful and useless data floating around in my head. And often, even if I don't know what I'm talking about, I can make myself sound convincing.

[twoferfun69]

What has been your experiences in "dealing with" the males of the couples you play with? i.e. do a lot of them watch more than play, do you play at same time, how is incidental contact......uh....."handled" so to speak, etc. etc.?
I know a there are a lot of couples with a lot of different ideas and attitudes, I just am curious as to your take on it.

[sexyshelby]

Favourite food?

Favourite board game?

Eagles or Steelers?

Football, basketball, soccer, or hockey? (or other)

[Thrax]

I hit the "Submit Message" button too early. See following message for what I REALLY wanted to say.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by twoferfun69

What has been your experiences in "dealing with" the males of the couples you play with? i.e. do a lot of them watch more than play, do you play at same time, how is incidental contact......uh....."handled" so to speak, etc. etc.?

First of all, luckily, I've never encountered a couple where the guy just wants to sit and watch. To me, that's a little creepy, although I know it is a turn-on for some guys. Once I'm comfortable in a situation I can get a little exhibitionistic, but I don't think I want to be the center of attention for too long. If I'm putting on a show I might have to charge admission.

In almost all of my MFMs the other guy is playing with our object of affection at least half the time, while I'm engaged 75% or more. (For those of you who are trying to do the math...I pity you.) Even the very active significant-other-males take at least some time to sit back and watch, which is okay with me. I take breathers, too. And one guy loves to take pictures, but he is very active throughout and usually likes to finish things off while telling his wife how exciting it was to watch me and her.

Of course it varies. A lot of times it comes down to one of us having intercourse with her while the other is engaged "up-top", with kissing, nipple play, her providing fellatio, etc.

In one situation, the husband and I alternated foreplay in the hot tub with her, but it was just me going down on her later plus intercourse. He watched part of the time, but it was a house party, so he was actively engaged part of the time elsewhere.

As for incidental contact, in most cases in any pre-playing agreements it has been left unsaid because I'm clear in my Yahoo Group listings and meeting with people that I am straight. When I have met and played with couples at one SW Penna club, the agreed-upon term seemed to be "No Reacharounds." Figure it out.

So far incidental contact in MFMs has not been a problem. In the only anal-vaginal DP I was involved in I was on the bottom (she was facing me) of the pile. I do not have low-hangers and apparently hubby doing anal didn't either. (Actually, I was not aware that he was going to try a DP until he started it) If he did make sack-to-sack contact, I never felt it. If that had happened, it would not have caused me to pull-out of the DP, so to speak. She was the person we were trying to make happy.

In most MFMs there has been some incidental contact between me and the other guy. It usually happens during a pre-intercourse stage -- especially when we are all horizontal on our sides with her between us -- when arms/hands and legs make incidental contact. If we know it happens, usually we just move away from each other. Nothing really startling or upsetting for anybody.

I'll close this with two examples from two different encounters. The first one involves a couple that I had played with already. I arrived at their home and we all went to the kitchen so he could fix us drinks. I leaned back against a wall, and almost immediately she leaned back against me. (Note to any couples that don't know how to "start things" when they invite a single male to their house: This is a pretty good sign that play is welcome, and imminent!) During our foreplay in the kitchen my hands often bumped into his -- or his face on one occasion -- but there were no problems.

The other time I was horizontal by a swimming pool with a couple and she was in the middle. I was in front, he was in back. I was a tad surprised when I put my hand down in her nether regions and found them already...um...occupied. I massaged her clit for a few seconds but then moved my hand up a little to massage her belly just below her navel. It was a bit of serendipity, because my hand pressing against her lower belly and his cock inside her was a combination that she...enjoyed. But it wasn't a big deal that I had inadvertently touched his dick.

Well, I lied. I want to mention one more thing. I have never been asked to participate in a double-vaginal DP. However, unless there were weird vibes from the guy, I can't imagine that I wouldn't try. Yes, there is obvious MM contact of some type in that situation, but that isn't the point of the exercise. But for those of you who really care, I would use a condom!

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

Favourite food?

I mentioned my favorite MEAL earlier, but being the open-minded (indecisive) guy I am I can't decide on one food. Here are some: Pizza (usually thick crust, and I love almost any toppings including ANCHOVIES), nachos grande (no ballpark nachos, my homemade ones are better), Nacho Cheese Doritos, chocolate chip cookies and ice-cold milk, a good red or green curry, sushi (especially tuna), doughnuts (oh, and really, most pastries), extremely well-made vanilla ice cream, venison chili, and Peking Duck.

Favourite board game?

Balderdash, since I'm pretty good with words, I think.

Eagles or Steelers?

Stillers. Duh.

Football, basketball, soccer, or hockey? (or other)

College football. I have PennState season tickets, btw. Overall, though, I like the atmosphere at college games more than pro American football. I've been to some NFL games, and while the level of skill is much higher, the fans are much more dangerous. Pisses me off. Get a life. It's a game!

[sexyshelby]

Glad to see that you have tickets to the Lions! I'm jealous. Are you a Penn State grad? If so, what major?

Do you enjoy using toys during your play sessions? If so, what's your favourite?

~SS

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

Glad to see that you have tickets to the Lions! I'm jealous. Are you a Penn State grad? If so, what major?

And finally we had a good year! Yes, I have a Business Admin. degree in management. Then grad school at...Pitt. Just like most of the other PSU grads going to Pitt, I had a little Nittany shrine in my apartment.

Do you enjoy using toys during your play sessions? If so, what's your favourite?

I enjoy it, but so far it hasn't happened much. From my experience many of the women have toys, but seem to be a little uncomfortable using them in front of guys other than their SOs. Maybe it's a little too intimate for them?

With that said, I like to use a vibrator -- preferably one about average erection size -- on my playmates. It's a tool that I find very versatile, but only two women are comfortable enough to let me wield it.

Being optimistic, I just bought a Screaming O, a cockring with a mini-vibrator attached. So I'm looking for a victi...er...a woman interested in trying that out at some point.

Mild restraints are fine, if there is a high level of trust. I have a massage mitt with little bumps all over it; that's fun in the bath or hot tub, or with a little lube otherwise. Feathers and other tickly type things seem to go over well. They feel great and there is a low intimidation factor. Whips and similar items are really not my thing, but if asked, I might consider...

I wouldn't consider it a toy, but a blindfold is fun to use, too.

[sexyshelby]

Thanks for answering my questions!
~SS

[Thrax]

I think this is the appropriate thread for a little self-promotion, as well as an effort to educate my fellow Americans.

Since I got away from 9 to 5 jobs several years ago, I signed up with a Pgh casting agency and have been an extra (often called "background" in the trade) in some locally-filmed movies, national tv shows, and commercials, when it's been convenient for me.

In 2004 the local PBS station filmed the majority of The WarThat Made America in the Pgh-area and I was a "Virginia Gentleman." The documentary is about the French & Indian War and how it eventually led to the American Revolution. Well, this Wednesday Jan. 18, the first two parts will be shown from 9pm to 11pm on PBS stations nationally, and the final two segments on Wednesday, Jan. 25, 9pm - 11pm. Unless the director does some strange flashforward/flashback thing with regard to Geo. Washington, I will get a little face-time in the fourth episode that airs on the second hour on Jan. 25. That is, unless my part ended up on the cutting room floor. Which is very possible.

If I show up in that episode, I will be signing a document for some kind of land acquisition in 1767, I think, and handing the quill to George Washington. The other scene I might be in would take place in the Raleigh Tavern in 1774 (after the Virginia House of Burgesses was dismissed by the governor), in which the action is filmed over my shoulder and Geo. addresses the camera directly. So there might be a really good shot of the back of my head and my right shoulder (I'm in the maroon WOOL coat. It was about 90F degrees when those scenes were filmed. Oh, and that "F" can stand for something else besides Fahrenheit.)

Anyway, I'm hoping the show will be good, even if I don't show up in it. For you folks that enjoy exploring U.S. history, you might want to consider looking into it. I learned a lot about a period of local, national, and international history that I was pretty vague on before.

[sexyshelby]

A shameless plug indeed.
Very cool though.

[jennandjamesinm]

Due to some unforseen happenings in our lives, we had to leave Thrax's inerview open for some extra time, but.....It's Thrax's last day on the hot seat - Come on folks ask them some questions!!!! And while I am here - Here are some for you

What advice would you give newbies?
Who's posts do you find yourself looking for when you look at the board?
3 members that you would like to see in the spotlight?


Jenn

[Thrax]

What advice would you give newbies?

No, this isn’t a set-up, I don’t think, but my advice to n00bs would be to READ, READ, READ what is on this board, and if you are in a relationship with someone, get THAT PERSON to READ what’s here also. And for you couples: talk, talk, TALK about what you’ve read! Singles, read and take to heart. I’ve been around the swinging world for five years, so I have an idea of how I should behave, but this Board is great for new information and for getting someone to challenge basic assumptions.

Who's posts do you find yourself looking for when you look at the board?

Posts I look for? Alura, Goodtimes and the Mrs., Vespertine, txduo2000, and many others. And poor Mrs. Spoomonkey…what she has to put up with.

3 members that you would like to see in the spotlight?

If they haven't already served their time, then:
Sexyshelby
Bear_and_babe
djjwp