intuition897 - MOTW # 11

[jennandjamesinm]

This week's Member of the Week is intuition897. We are glad to have them in the spotlight this week.

Swingers Board interviews are a way for us to get to know each other better. It is a way to acknowledge just how wonderfully varied a community we are. Every Wednesday, a new interview will start and the old interview will be locked. Be sure to stop in and get to know them better by asking them every nosey, intimate, personal question you can think of.

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Try to keep this thread about the person being interviewed. If you want to comment about things you discover you have in common or just elaborate on a response, pm them and make a new friend or start a new thread about it. This is intended to be a friendly thread, so please don’t ask anything in a purposeful attempt to get a heated debate. Of course, nobody is required to answer a question that they do not want to.

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We'll start each interview with a few overview questions to get things started:

Question limit (as the interviewee you may limit the questions on a per post or per user basis if you wish):
Gender (if not a couple):
If a couple, which one primarily posts:
Age(s):
Birthday(s):
Location:
Relationship status:
Swinging for how long?:
Prefer to swing with:
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Brief Intro:
Picture (if you feel comfortable sharing one):
Website (your own or one of your favorites):

[JustAskJulie]

Wow. I'm surprised you guys never made it to the spotlight before now. Glad you are finally here now.

What is the greatest thing you've learned through swinging?

[intuition897]

Question limit (as the interviewee you may limit the questions on a per post or per user basis if you wish): Unlimited. Although highly personal questions might be declined.
Gender (if not a couple):couple
If a couple, which one primarily posts: Mrs. intuition
Age(s): Mr. is 33, Mrs. is 30
Birthday(s): December 14th and February 10th
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
Relationship status: Married (11 years)
Swinging for how long?: +5 years
Prefer to swing with: Couples
Biggest Pet Peeve: Dishonesty and generally shitty attitudes
Brief Intro: Two ordinary people with ordinary lives. We're in love with each other, and we like to show it by allowing each other complete sexual freedom. We're not exactly rebels, but Mr. likes to do things the right way, not necessarily just the accepted way. The Mrs. is a bit of an idealist. She tries hard.
Picture (if you feel comfortable sharing one): Sorry folks, can't!

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

What is the greatest thing you've learned through swinging?

Probably that sex doth not a marriage make. It's a wonderful aspect of our marriage, but it's very liberating to find out that your marriage is built of stronger stuff than your ability to 'retain' your mate through your sexuality.

It's also given us a new respect for sex; we no longer allow ourselves or each other to use it as a proverbial anvil over the head. It should never be wielded as a weapon.

[ALilOEverything]

How did you meet? When did you realize he was going to be the right man for you?

How did you get started in swinging? Did it come naturally for both of you?

What was your worst swinging experience and how do you avoid it happening again?

[Alura]

Welcome to the hot box, Intuition!

What was your best swinging experience? Why? What would you do to repeat it?


Alura

[EvilMJ]

Hello fellow Countrywoman,

It is nice to get a chance to learn a little more about you and your husband.

Have you always lived in Ontario?
Done any travelling?

What is your biggest accomplishment so far?

And ofcourse my favorite..what do you do in your spare time?

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Alura

Welcome to the hot box, Intuition!

What was your best swinging experience? Why? What would you do to repeat it?


Alura

Thanks Alura!

Best swinging experience...hmm. Probably our first full swap. We had an amazing time. During AND after! So great when everything just clicks. I think the biggest thrill of it was just the fact that it was our first time. We kept waiting for the bolt of lightning from out of the blue to strike us dead, or waiting for the horrible feelings of anger, resentment or jealousy to come. But nothing happened. It was just such a revelation to us. What would we do to repeat it? Well, we did have a number of encore playdates with the same couple, but for various reasons we stopped playing with them. There's only one 'first time' for full swap. After that, it's just variations on a theme.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

How did you meet? When did you realize he was going to be the right man for you?

How did you get started in swinging? Did it come naturally for both of you?

What was your worst swinging experience and how do you avoid it happening again?

Oops! Sorry LiLo, didn't see your post ahead of Mr. Alura's!

Believe it or not, we both grew up in the same small rural area. We got married pretty young. My oldest child is 10. We're married 11 years. I'm sure you guys can do the math! Yeah, so we got married with good intentions, but absolutely no clue. Had a long rough spell where we both did some growing up and learned things the hard way more often than not. We won't get into the gory details of all that, but I think it was after a particularly nasty fight we had one of those 'naked soul' moments. Up until then, we hadn't had too many of those. Communication wasn't exactly our strong point. But anyhow, we reached a kind of understanding at that time that brought me closer to him than I've ever been to anyone in my life. Mr. intuition is the most amazing man I've ever met, and I thank God that he chooses to be with me.

How did we get started swinging. He started it. He's always been a forward thinker, unafraid of taking the path less travelled. I, on the other hand, was raised to be a "good" Christian girl (well, most of the time I mentioned about the shotgun wedding, right? lol). He found an ad for AFF in the back of a Hustler magazine at the hunting camp and was intrigued. So when he came home and looked into it, he called me over to the computer and asked me what I thought of it. Initially I was going along with it even though I didn't understand why in God's name he would want to do such a thing? I was hurt and jealous and confused... This lead to a lot of arguments. No, it didn't come naturally at first. When we first became interested, we were NOT in the right 'place' to be starting from. So it's been a long and, at times, tedious growing process. I think we've got most of the kinks ironed out now, though.

Our worst experience was our very first meeting. We had no idea what we were doing. We didn't play with them (thank God!) but we still count it as our first "experience" in the lifestyle. We didn't realize how important it was to us that the other couple had a good relationship, too. The other husband was unbelievably disrespectful and callous toward his wife. He gave us the impression that he was happy to be handing her off to someone else for the evening so he could get him some "good stuff". She was just as big a turn off with her victimized attitude. She actually said, "If he's going to cheat, the least he can do is bring her home to share." If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. :rollseyes It was just all wrong, ALL the way around. Because it was our first time, we didn't even know what questions to ask! Best way to avoid this kind of BS? Read! Lots and lots of reading. And talking. Lots and lots and lots of talking.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Hello fellow Countrywoman,

It is nice to get a chance to learn a little more about you and your husband.

Have you always lived in Ontario?
Done any travelling?

What is your biggest accomplishment so far?

And ofcourse my favorite..what do you do in your spare time?

Yes, we've both always lived in Ontario. Well, except Mr. intuition who spent a short time living in Hawaii as a kid. And no, we haven't done much travelling yet. Kids, eh? lol We're planning on going SOMEwhere this winter though.

Biggest accomplishment so far... That's a tough one. We really are pretty ordinary. Not exactly setting the world on fire here. We've got decent jobs and a little disposable income. We're aiming to be debt free before we have grandkids. I'd say other than the material things, our biggest accomplishment so far is growing into the people we want to be. We're both still works in progress, but truly, we love our life together.

Spare time?! What the hell is that? Right now, I spend far too much time on SB. Hey, I love it here, but in the meantime(820+ posts later), my kids are thrashing my house. And they're spoiled rotten so they don't clean up after themselves. Seriously, I enjoy writing and occasionally drawing. I really wish housekeeping was on my list of favorite hobbies. Mr. intuition is an avid Texas Hold-em fan, and if he had more spare time and money, he'd enrol full time in flight school and get his pilot's license.

[lovedoctor]

It was very illuminating to read about your initial response to your hubby's suggestion that you expand your sexual boundries within your marriage. I was happy to hear you worked your way through the process successfully.

I was wondering how long it took for you to feel comfortable with the idea of swinging?

And what tipped the scales for you?

Also, I think you learned so much from that first experience you had and the couple you did not swing with. We kinda felt that way with the first couple we met and did not go any further. So, has your intuition ever led you astray or let you down in a swinging situation?

[confunktion]

Intuition's turn, eh? Hmmm...

Do you dream in color, black and white, or do you not remember your dreams?

Sleep on your side, back, stomach, or hanging off of the bed?

When you see another man or woman across a crowded room, what physical feature attracts you to them first? What would repel you out the door?

Ever taken a tour of the Elsinore Brewery?

Mr. Funk
It's getting cold - better pull the touque out of the closet.

[LikeMinds321]

intuition ~

You say so much in your posts and they're always interesting to me.

1) Are you as talkative in person?

2) How soon after meeting a person can you tell if you'll hit it off?

3) What does a person's handshake tell you about them?

LM

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by lovedoctor

It was very illuminating to read about your initial response to your hubby's suggestion that you expand your sexual boundries within your marriage. I was happy to hear you worked your way through the process successfully.

I was wondering how long it took for you to feel comfortable with the idea of swinging?

Honestly? The first two years were pretty tense. We had 101 rules to follow and full swap was out of the question. I couldn't understand why Mr. would want me to have sex with another man.

Originally Posted by lovedoctor

And what tipped the scales for you?

After the mother of all fights, we finally understood exactly what the other felt, what he/she wanted from us, and what he/she was willing to give. It wasn't until we had complete understanding in this way that I was comfortable or confident enough in our relationship to move beyond soft-swinging.

Originally Posted by lovedoctor

Also, I think you learned so much from that first experience you had and the couple you did not swing with. We kinda felt that way with the first couple we met and did not go any further. So, has your intuition ever led you astray or let you down in a swinging situation?

Nah. Intuition is the one thing we strive to listen to. The gut feeling that tells you you're handling something the wrong way or that something is just out of place. It's only when we DON'T pay attention to our hunches that we find ourselves in awkward situations.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by confunktion

Intuition's turn, eh? Hmmm...

Do you dream in color, black and white, or do you not remember your dreams?
Colour. But more often than not, I forget my dream if I roll over in my sleep. Mr. intuition is asleep right now...I'll have to ask him when he wakes up. I know he tends to dream very vividly.
Sleep on your side, back, stomach, or hanging off of the bed?
These are some interesting questions! On my side, lower body sort of in the 'recovery position', right arm crooked tightly under my pillow and the other hand usually hanging on to whatever body part of Mr. intuition's I can grab. Mr. intuition's sleep position varies a lot.
When you see another man or woman across a crowded room, what physical feature attracts you to them first? What would repel you out the door?
Mrs: Attracted to an attractive face with good bone structure, pretty eyes, nice smile, 'good' hair. Unless of course the person in question is a body builder or wearing something that simply screams "LOOK AT ME!!" like a red vinyl corset dress or something (uh...on women, that is). Repel? Bad hair! Bad breath, poor hygiene...or just generally someone who doesn't appear to take much pride in their appearance.
Mr: As I said, Mr. is asleep so I'll try to answer for him. I'll get him to re-read this and he can edit it if necessary. First thing he notices is the ass. Think J-Lo. Next, I'm assuming, would be the face. Immediate turn-offs would be the same as mine, as well as observable bad behaviour (this guy has SUCH a knack for reading body language!) like the Princess Syndrome or Spotlightitis, or drinking way too much. If it isn't obvious a person has class from across a room, chances are we won't be that impressed close up.
Ever taken a tour of the Elsinore Brewery?
The what? Strange, I know, but I don't drink beer. Nope, never been there.
Mr. Funk
It's getting cold - better pull the touque out of the closet.

Sooner than I'd like to

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

intuition ~

You say so much in your posts and they're always interesting to me.

1) Are you as talkative in person?

2) How soon after meeting a person can you tell if you'll hit it off?

3) What does a person's handshake tell you about them?

LM

I know, I know! LOL, I do write a lot. I'm venting. I'm pretty outspoken here, but in person? I think it depends on how comfortable I am with the person I'm conversing with. I realize my tendency to drone on and on, so in real time, I try to keep it in check. People can just hit delete or next if they're surfing the web; they don't have that luxury if I'm boring the hell out of them in real time!

I'm wierd. I get along with just about everyone so I'm actually a bit vulnerable in some ways. I can be very naiive at times; I don't understand why anyone would want to lie to me! I've given them no reason to, and I've done nothing to them. But Mr. intuition inevitibly picks up on subtleties that I miss. I don't know if it's just his nature to be a little skeptical or suspicious of others' motives or if it's because he used to be a skeptic for a living at one time. I'm terrible about such things. Anyway, as a result, I usually wait to see if Mr. picked up anything negative before I decide anything, but he's usually decided within the first 5 minutes of conversation whether there is any potential there. LOL, seems pretty lop-sided, eh? Well, one's strengths fill the other's weaker points. It works for us.

EDIT: Oops! Forgot the handshake question. That's a good one LM!

I'm not much of a hand-shaker or hugger or anything like that (just upbringing) but when I do shake someone's hand, I hate the limp noodle handshake. A good, friendly, warm, genuine and firm handshake tells me this is a genuine person who does not begrudge me their company. But for some reason, shaking hands seems so...formal. I can't be bothered with small talk and formalities. I just prefer to read facial expressions or tone of voice, or the flow of conversation to gauge a person and how well I like them.