Confunktion - MOTW #9

[confunktion]

two4youinswva -

So, which is it for you guys.............. Packers or Bears? Actually, neither. I know that's close to blasphemy in this area, but Lord Football does not rule in our house. I prefer baseball, basketball, and other sports, like Texas Hold 'Em and women's beach volleyball. The Mrs. isn't into sports, really, although she does like to play a little tennis.

An aside: Calvin and Hobbes rules! It's right up there with Bloom County, my all-time favorite.

Mr. Funk
Waiting for the Green and Gold lynch mob with their torches...

[confunktion]

Jenn -

You get as nosy as you want, Girlfriend! (two snaps up)

Who brought up swinging - you or Mrs. Funk? It was mutual, really. Early on, the Mrs. filled me in on her bisexuality and experiences with women. I (being the thoughtful husband) offered to help her experience more, and she was game. That's how it all began...

First Experience - Good or Bad? Elaborate, please How elaborate do ya want it, baby? Seriously, our first experience was good. The couple we met had a very bi girl that the Mrs. was totally into. They were confident, fun, and had great personalities. They also liked sex - that was a plus...

Worst Swinging Experience? Hmmm...our worst experiences were separate from each other. Let me 'splain - my worst experience was when my partner got so obliterated that she fell asleep on me. Talk about a buzzkill. The Mrs. still had a great time, though. Her worst experience was coming down with one of her patented migraines right as the action was getting hot and heavy. We never had a bad experience at the same time, though, if that makes sense.

Best Swinging Experience? It's a tie - our very first experience, and our very first full swap. There's nothing like the first time - adrenaline rush, emotions running high, everyone just can't wait to dive right in...good times, good times.

An aside: James's tag line is so true. It's all about the ladies. Kudos to him for that one!

Mr. Funk
Two snaps in Z-formation

[confunktion]

My Evil One -

I'm booking the tickets to Nova Scotia right now...

WHat is the most exicting thing you have ever done? How about Mrs. Funk? Back to high school for these - Mrs. Funk once danced with the local Ballet company professionally while still in high school. She was that good. Meanwhile, I played bass in a jazz group back in the day, and we played in front of 18,000+ people at the National School Board convention on the same bill as Ray Charles and Chancellor Helmut Kohl. I had a solo line and about 5-7 seconds on the Jumbotron. I'll never forget it.

Biggest challenge you have ever faced? Helping someone who had mental illness and a substance abuse problem. It was so hard and took so much out of me, but I don't regret a single second of it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Biggest fear? Heights. I always feel like I will knock myself off balance and fall.

Chocolate love it or hate it....(oh yeah like anyone hates chocolate!!) You answered your own question. That is my weakness. I don't much like candy or gum, but chocolate knocks me out.

Mr. Funk
Heading to the vending machine for a candy bar.

[confunktion]

LM -

You keep me in stitches on this board. Your wit is like Stams chocolate is for me, just a little goes a long way becuase it's so superb. You are too sweet (much like Stams chocolate). It's interesting you put it like that, because this gets into my #2 fear (see previous post for fear #1). I have a very bad habit of going on and on, and soon people grow very weary of me. I hope that does not happen here, and if it has at any time, I apologize sincerely. It's definitely something I have to work on.

When out on a first swing date, I imagine you would be sharing so much of your wonderful mind that you might forget to share your body. Again, I blush profusely. Stop that!!! Actually, I haven't had that problem yet. The others in our swing parties have had no problem telling me to shut up.

Question 1: Do you find yourself having difficulty getting down to business and making that first move on the lady? On the first date, yes, because fear #3 (see previous fears for reference) is offending others, especially women. I tend to try so hard not to be offensive or out-of-line that I overthink things and become gun-shy. I'm working on that one, too. Once we've established a swing-relationship, I do pretty well at taking the initiative...

Question 2: Is it a touch, a look, or something said, that draws you in to her and starts to heat you up? Yes. Seriously, it doesn't take much. I don't need an anvil on the head. All I need to know is that it's OK and that she is interested. A touch on the arm, a sexy smile, or a whisper in the ear - all can turn me on a great deal. If the sign is confident and seductive at some level, I am in. <EG>


Mr. Funk
LM brings out my fears...oh, that's just great... :rollseyes

[confunktion]

Mrs. 101 -

Newbies such as yourself are very much welcome here!

Tighty Whiteys, boxers, boxer briefs or bikini? Boxer briefs - I get the support lacking in boxers with a decent look to them. Bikinis look silly due to my body style, and tighty-whiteys...well...they just look silly to me, period.

Do you prefer a woman shaved or close cut or 70's porn muff? I would not turn away anyone based on length of hair, but my preferences would be shaved or close cut. The muff is just a little much.

Chocolate, vanilla or stawberry? Chocolate, just because I have a constant chocolate craving.

Window, isle or don't care? Aisle, because I have longer legs. That, and I just LOVE getting whacked by the beverage cart... :rollseyes

At what age did you loose your virginity? Where? At the ripe age of 16, I lost my virginity to an older woman (she was 17 - how scandalous! ). We were in the front seat of her '73 Dodge Dart. That was the largest front seat I have ever seen in my life. Nice big springy bench seat. Worked out just fine...

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? It varied, but mostly I wanted to be an astronaut. Fear #1 shot that dream all to hell.

How many licks do you think it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't know...why don't you go ask Mr. Owl?

Mr. Funk
A-one, a-two-hoo, a-three...(CRUNCH!)...Three.

[confunktion]

BTW, if anyone doesn't get one of my references, please don't hesitate to ask, and I will explain. Damn all the worthless knowledge that's in my head!!!

Mr. Funk
Does anyone know what movie my signature line comes from? A prize for the first one who gets it!

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by confunktion

Does anyone know what movie my signature line comes from? A prize for the first one who gets it!

Bringing Down the House.
BTW-That's one of my favorite lines!

[CuriousInOregon]

Ok Confunktion I have a few questions for ya.....

1. What is one Fantasy that you would love to be fufilled that you have not had the oppertunity to do so yet?

2. What sparked your interest in Swinging

3. How open are you to friends and Family about your Lifestyle?

4. Do you like to use food as an enhancement to your Sexlife

Those are all I have for you today, Looking fwd to getting to know you better

[lovedoctor]

....I'd have found Nirvana...

Mr. Funk
T.A. for Pop Culture 101

Some of Nirvana are no longer with us, correct?
-So where would you go to find them?

I love pop culture but I am about 10 years behind.
What is:
-your favorite band?
-your favorite TV show?
-your favorite Brady?
-your favorite T Shirt? (What does it say?)
-your favorite pop?

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by confunktion

I prefer baseball, basketball, and other sports, like Texas Hold 'Em and women's beach volleyball.

Yay poker! What's your favorite hand to play? And why?

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Bringing Down the House.
BTW-That's one of my favorite lines!

(Ding! Ding! Ding!) Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Nicely done!

Mr. Funk
"Would you like some cham...poo?"

[confunktion]

CuriousInOregon -

Thanks for the questions. Let's see...

1. What is one Fantasy that you would love to be fufilled that you have not had the oppertunity to do so yet? Hmmm...I would say that one fantasy that hasn't yet come true would be to go out on a date with another couple, but switch partners from the get-go. You know, drive with the other partner, sit next to them, dance with them, etc. Go through the whole night like that. Add to that a little contest, such as seeing who can turn on who the most, and you've got it. It may sound simple, but I think that would be a lot of fun. The antici...pation would build to incredible levels, methinks. There are others, but this was the first one that popped into my head.

2. What sparked your interest in Swinging For me, it was finding out that the Mrs. was bisexual. It started as the pursuit of another woman for the Mrs. and it grew from there. I realized how big a turn-on it was to watch my woman getting attention from another, and when she told me how much she enjoyed herself, that was it. We also both share the same "making love is different than sex" viewpoint, and that made it very easy.

3. How open are you to friends and Family about your Lifestyle? The Mrs. has come out to her family about her bisexuality. That just got quizzical looks and questions rather than negativity. They don't quite understand bisexuality. Homosexuality - that's pretty clear, as her brother is gay. No problems there. It's not the reaction I expected, but it could be worse. My family doesn't know, and that's OK. I don't feel a need to fill them in. Most of our friends know. We hang with a very open-minded crew, so it's easy to talk about these types of topics.

4. Do you like to use food as an enhancement to your Sexlife When the mood hits, we do enhance sex with food. Strawberries are a favorite. Ice is a staple (could be classified as food). A fun thing we tried was the Mrs. alternating between hot tea and ice water in her mouth while going down on me. Very intense. Chocolate is a must after sex - keep those pleasure centers buzzing!

Mr. Funk
Now, of course, I am hungry.

[confunktion]

LoveDoctor -

OK, smartypants...

Some of Nirvana are no longer with us, correct?
-So where would you go to find them? I think Kurt is playing in a garage band with Hendrix and Morrison. Easy to find - Keith Moon with drive me there. Dave and Krist will be stuck in the courts with Courtney Love for a while, so I'll just look for the paparazzi.

I love pop culture but I am about 10 years behind.
What is:
-your favorite band? Right now, it's Robert Randolph and the Family Band. Very funky!
-your favorite TV show? I'm currently hooked on "Rescue Me". I also patrol the Learning, History, and Discovery Channels along with A&E. "Reno 911" and "Most Extreme Challenge" are fun, too.
-your favorite Brady? I never liked the Brady Bunch. I'll go with Tiger the dog.
-your favorite T Shirt? (What does it say?) It's a Love and Rockets shirt I got way back in the day. I can't describe the design very well, but I really like it and it's comfy.
-your favorite pop? My favorite "pops" are my father and the sound of a champagne cork. :rollseyes I kid, I kid...I don't drink much soda, but my favorite would have to be Mountain Dew. You can mix many different kinds of alcohol with it.

Mr. Funk
From one smartalec to another.

[confunktion]

Dynamar -

I find that women who like to gamble are very attractive...

Yay poker! What's your favorite hand to play? And why? Um, Royal Flushes are good. I like them because I seem to win every single time.

Mr. Funk
Prediction: Phil Hellmuth will keep getting his ass kicked unless he finds humility.

[Vespertine]

Hola papi.


What do you and the Mrs. do on a typical weekend night?

What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names?

Speaking of pets! Do you have any children?

What makes Mrs. Funk smile?