Spotlight Interview #21 - ALilOEverything

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Joe_Ang

Do you play together, separate, combined?

Generally we play together but we've had a couple twisted situations where all of the above came into play and worked out wonderfully. We prefer together for the most part though. Only a very special circumstance do we allow seperate play.

What do you feel about "taking one for a team"?

I don't believe in it at all. I won't be with someone who I'm not attracted to inside and out and I wouldn't want my husband to go through that for me. If I didn't think he was getting pleasure from being with her it would completely ruin my whole evening. And I wouldn't want him to expect me to sleep with someone I didn't like just so he could lay some chick. I think I would walk away feeling used. I guess that's a rule that I didn't mention before, everyone must feel it or it's not going to happen.

Is there anything you really want to experience that hubby has little interest or vice versa?

I can't think of anything that I want to experience, if it interests me then it interests him. Now as I've posted before in the past he would like to experiment with bondage and D/s play (not S&M) but I've had little interest in it over the years. I've wanted to learn more about it more recently because it's something he really wants to do but it's been a slow process as I have some issues with it that I need to overcome first.

Do you have a religious background and have you had any moral delimas in the lifestyle?

Well believe it or not I was raised Jehovah's Witness. My mom was a JW and my father was atheist. I haven't been to church since I was a kid and am agnostic so it doesn't create any problems. I still feel I'm a very moral person though. If everyone is consenting, without pressure or guilt, then it's okay and a good thing.

What is the kinkiest thing either of you have done?

Well if anyone asked me off the street I would say swinging alone is the kinkiest thing I've ever done. Now to a bunch of swingers I'm probably fairly tame! For the longest time a few years ago this girl and I used a double headed dildo was about the kinkiest thing I ever did. But now I don't know

Do you have any sexy nurses outfits?

Other than my standard uniforms? None Though that kind of role playing I could probably do well.

Do you prefer leather or lace?

hmmmm I like the looks of lace better but it's so darn scratchy! Really I would vote satin if it was a choice. There is this little leather dress I wouldn't mind having though.

[TNT]

If you could go any place in the world where would it be ?

Where do you see yourselves in 5 or 10 years concerning swinging?

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by TNT

If you could go any place in the world where would it be ?

After yearing about a family member's trip to Thailand I totally want to go there.

Where do you see yourselves in 5 or 10 years concerning swinging?

I'm not sure about this. This is something I could just give up in a day for whatever reason. I could see us doing a few years from now or I could see us totally giving it up. I think it's something that will come and go, depending on the friendships we make along the way. Since this isn't something we want to do all the time I could see long stretches without.

[robnbarb]

What is your favorite thing with sex in general (could be act or position or whatever comes to mind).

Is there anything that is off limits to everyone but your hubby (I think you may have answered this but I looked back in the interview and couldn't find it).

As a couple who balances a swinging life and family life, any advice to us "newbies" on balanceing the two.

You had mentioned a threesome with your hubby and ex-hubby, was there any akwardness on the part of any of you.

"Well believe it or not I was raised Jehovah's Witness. My mom was a JW and my father was atheist. I haven't been to church since I was a kid and am agnostic so it doesn't create any problems. I still feel I'm a very moral person though. If everyone is consenting, without pressure or guilt, then it's okay and a good thing."

This last bit is more of a comment than a question respond if you like. I was raised the son of a minister, and I hold your comment to be quite true about "consenting" being the factor to the people involved. It just felt good to see someone say the same thing I felt.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by robnbarb

What is your favorite thing with sex in general (could be act or position or whatever comes to mind).

My favorite sex is with my husband as an expression of the love, lust and desire we have for each other. So that expression is my favorite thing.

Is there anything that is off limits to everyone but your hubby (I think you may have answered this but I looked back in the interview and couldn't find it).

Love. That's about it. And because of that the way I make love to my husband is very different from any sex act I can do with anyone else. The movements themselves might be the same but since they aren't driven by love it makes it very different.

As a couple who balances a swinging life and family life, any advice to us "newbies" on balanceing the two.

Well I still consider ourselves very much newbies. We don't have a balance between the two, our family life totally tips the scale. I guess my advice would be to not let swinging interfere with your family life, especially when you have children. For us it's a great occasional thing to do, but a small part of our lives.

You had mentioned a threesome with your hubby and ex-hubby, was there any akwardness on the part of any of you.

No there wasn't, oddly enough. Maybe between the two guys but neither ever mentioned it. My husband once told me he was quite comfortable because I had been with him before, and he didn't feel threatened since I was the one who left him. I was more concerned about it complicating my relationship with my ex but it didn't.

This last bit is more of a comment than a question respond if you like. I was raised the son of a minister, and I hold your comment to be quite true about "consenting" being the factor to the people involved. It just felt good to see someone say the same thing I felt.

And not just consenting, but something that each person really wants to do. I ran across a couple where the guy confided in me "this is something she does for me". Yes she's consenting, but it doesn't make it right. The consent has to come from the heart, without pressure and with complete desire. If the consent is out of pressure, obligation, manipulation or anything else that has some other motivation behind it, then to me it's wrong.

[Joe_Ang]

Your first trip to an on-premise club... What expectations do you have? What do you hope to experience? What fears might you have?

What would you like to teach?

Would people at your hospital expect your kinky side? Have you confided in anyone?

Ang told me to ask about turn ons/offs (too lazy to see if you addressed this).

How did you meet your hubby?

What is your favorite materialistic gift to receive?

Tell me your most memorable patient care experience.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Joe_Ang

Your first trip to an on-premise club... What expectations do you have? What do you hope to experience? What fears might you have?

I expected to be so scared that I'm going to scared that you're going to have to drag me in kicking and screaming Okay, so I'm a little nervous, but I guess with it being so many hours away from home it shouldn't be too bad. We aren't going to hook up with any strange people we meet there. We plan to bring friends with us that have always wanted to go and maybe meet other friends down there too. The more friends the merrier, after all, it's my 30th birthday! I hope you guys can be there

What would you like to teach?

Well I plan to some day teach nursing but I really wanted to be a biology teacher.

Would people at your hospital expect your kinky side? Have you confided in anyone?

No way, most people think I'm as straigth laced as they get. I totally shocked them when I got my navel peirced a couple weeks ago. One time I joined into a sex conversation and I mentioned I had one of those swings and they thought I was this celebate nun like person and my kids were from immaculate conception Shows how professional I am at work, most of the time.

Ang told me to ask about turn ons/offs (too lazy to see if you addressed this).

Turn ons: Great music, great company, intense conversation, good cologne, a soft touch, bedroom eyes, responsiveness, slight aggressiveness, dirty talk

Turn off: Number one is COLD, overly aggressive pushy people, body odor, long fingernails not used properly, beer or cigarette breath, too much tongue when kissing, most anal play, pain

How did you meet your hubby?

I was camping in North Dakota, meeting my cousin half way. He was a park ranger in the campground where I was camping. I had asked earlier what there was to do in the area and the person didn't know so later on this cute guy pulls up in this red pickup with a map. He stayed and chatted with me for 2 hours, we just couldn't get enough of each other. He invited my friend who traveled with me to a bonfire that night and we were inseperable that night forward. I bawled my eyes out when we left a week later because I met the man of my dreams and he lived so far away. But obviously it all worked out

What is your favorite materialistic gift to receive?

My clock. My grandfather, the one who I took care of built it for me. The wood came from my son's grandfather when his father and I were married. It was a beautiful peice of cherrry. The face is porcelain and handpainted from an heirloom clock of the family's that had broke.

Tell me your most memorable patient care experience.

I'm trying to think of something not totally gross and disgusting...

I'll come back to it later

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Joe_Ang

Tell me your most memorable patient care experience.

Several years ago when I was still a brand new nurse's aid in a nursing home I was at the desk when I heard screaming down there hall. My first thought was someone fell and broke a hip but when I got there I got a totally surprise. There was a little old lady laying in the bed with a sheet over her knees drawn back and another little old lady down between her legs. The lady on her back was screaming "get it out of me!!! get it out of me!!!" and the other thought she was delivering a baby. With a little help of milk of magnesia she was all better. It was amusing but at the same time very sobering about how dementia can really rob us of our dignity.

[Mephisto]

....long fingernails not used properly

I laughed when i read this because I love long fingernails too. I have both pinky nails, just a little longer than normal ( not quite "Coke " nails). I had people tell me they thought it was a gay thing, until i showed them how they were used.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Mephisto

I laughed when i read this because I love long fingernails too. I have both pinky nails, just a little longer than normal ( not quite "Coke " nails). I had people tell me they thought it was a gay thing, until i showed them how they were used.

That was in reference to my husband because I can't get him to keep them short! We'll be having a great night together and then he slips and cuts me. I get sooooo mad when he slices me and I just get up and the whole thing is spoiled. I've had one other guy do it and it really is a turn off. Now to look at nails on a guy, I could care less. Long nails on a girl is sexy, BUT even still, she's gotta be careful on how she uses them. I've recently quit picking at/biting my nails so I'll have to learn to be careful myself

[Mephisto]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

That was in reference to my husband because I can't get him to keep them short! We'll be having a great night together and then he slips and cuts me. I get sooooo mad when he slices me and I just get up and the whole thing is spoiled. I've had one other guy do it and it really is a turn off. Now to look at nails on a guy, I could care less. Long nails on a girl is sexy, BUT even still, she's gotta be careful on how she uses them. I've recently quit picking at/biting my nails so I'll have to learn to be careful myself

Its all in the pressure used. Keep em filed and smooth, and they can make a lot of difference, kind of like taking a glove or a feather to bed.

Its the sensations that are generated.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Mephisto

Its all in the presure ( <-- looks wrong) used. Keep em filed and smooth, and they can make a lot of difference, kind of like taking a glove or a feather to bed.

Its the sensations that are generated.

Well I'll have to let dearest one know that. I don't think he ever files them, just clips them occasionally. I haven't filed mine either, I don't even own a file!

[TNT]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

I was camping in North Dakota, meeting my cousin half way. He was a park ranger in the campground where I was camping. I had asked earlier what there was to do in the area and the person didn't know so later on this cute guy pulls up in this red pickup with a map. He stayed and chatted with me for 2 hours, we just couldn't get enough of each other. He invited my friend who traveled with me to a bonfire that night and we were inseperable that night forward. I bawled my eyes out when we left a week later because I met the man of my dreams and he lived so far away. But obviously it all worked out

So what's the rest of the story ?

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by TNT

So what's the rest of the story ?

Well that was July 1994. I had his phone number and address with me. I waited three weeks to see if I still felt the same way. I was just dying to call him and he did. He told me he was trying everything to find me but my name was no where to be found. Well we ran up my phone bill and wrote lots of letters. He called me one day to tell me he was going to take a weeks vacation and would like to spend it in Michigan and how would I like to show him around. So in October he stayed with me for a week. I was totally in love then and then felt desperate to have a real relationship. In November, the night before Thanksgiving I boarded a plane with three suitcases and a box and my three year old son. My son's dad gave me permission to leave for 2 years and we didn't stay quite that long. We married 3 years later. We've had our rocky points, even seperated once 5 years ago but went through counseling and now we're as solid as can be.

If I was as mature then as I am today it would never have happened. I would never disrupt my child's life like that again, it was very selfish of me. I'm just very lucky it all worked out.

[DandS]

Hi ALil,

Where did you go on your last vacation? Was it just the two of you or a family event?

Pepsi or Coke?

M&M's: Plain or Peanut?

Thongs or Briefs?

Boxers or Briefs for him?

What 3 words best describe you?

What one thing would you change about yourself?

Sorry, I'm just back from vacation myself and cant think of any good questions.

D