Spotlight Interview #21 - ALilOEverything

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

I would volunteer to help you with your hubby but I am geographically challanged.

He'd appreciate the thought

Now that you have acheived your goals, what new goals have you set for yourself in the future?

I really want to go back to school. I stopped with my associates (I do have some classes completed for my bachelors) to start a family since it was already 9 years since I had my son. There wasn't much I could do with an advanced nursing degree right away until I had some experience. I've always wanted to be a teacher so I've thought I would enjoy teaching nursing a few years down the road.

What do you do with your free time (I love asking this question as I work full time and am a mom so I have no free time and love to live vicariously through others )

I really love to be outdoors bike riding and roller blading. I have a bike trailer and jogging stroller for the little ones. When it gets colder I'll be going back to my regular indoor hobbies as I hate the winter. I'm also an avid quilter and have a 100 inch quilting frame in my living room for hand quilting. I attending various quilting festivals and plan to take a class in fabric dying and painting so I can make my own art quilts. There is a part of me that would almost like to just give up nursing and open my own quilt shop and teach my own quilting classes. I just might do that anyway.

[JustAskJulie]

You mentioned that you had some encounters in swinging with your first husband. How did those go over?

When you and your current husband decided to give swinging a try, what rules (if any) did you set forth? Do you still have those same rules?

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You mentioned that you had some encounters in swinging with your first husband. How did those go over?

It was just a handful of experiences with his best friend and his girlfriend. My ex had a tinge of jealousy that very first time but that quickly passed. It was something we only did occasionally with the same friends and over all they were very positive experiences. The downfall of our marriage had nothing to do with that. We are still friends. In fact him and my current husband consider themselves friends. When I was living in North Dakota with my new husband my ex came out for a week and we even had a threesome. It was so awesome being with two people I cared for. Wouldn't want to do that again though

When you and your current husband decided to give swinging a try, what rules (if any) did you set forth? Do you still have those same rules?

Mostly we just said we wanted to go with the flow and do what felt comfortable and good at the time. And condoms of course. We still have those same rules (I think of them more as attitudes than rules)... We haven't set any limits like same or seperate room or anything like that. Just going with the situation has led to a very wonderful experience that actually included a little bit of solo, same room, seperate room all wrapped up in a very odd and yet exciting weekend. We were all just that comfortable and into each other. We haven't added any rules, we just look at each experience as something completely different and see what comes of it.

[robnbarb]

Let me say first that you and my wife share alot of common traits and experences. Thank you for sharing.

Your oldest son is near the age of our oldest daughter, You said you cringe at the thought of him begining the road to sex. I was wondering how you were handling things with him and his budding sexuality (from a parents perspective, advice, warinings ect).

Do you swing with a select group of couples or whomever you find?

What color are your toys (since GT left it out).

Is there anything you would like us to know that you have not said already?



BTW the big 3-0 is not that bad, 3-3 is much worse LOL

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by robnbarb

Your oldest son is near the age of our oldest daughter, You said you cringe at the thought of him begining the road to sex. I was wondering how you were handling things with him and his budding sexuality (from a parents perspective, advice, warinings ect).

Well the biggest thing is keeping the lines of communication open. I talk very openly and frankly with him. I ask him lots of questions of where he's at with things. I also keep him busy and make sure his interests are well developed so he doesn't have a lot of extra time on his hands. I also encourage his friends to come here instead so I can monitor more easily what's going on. In essense I'm doing the complete opposite of what his father's parents did with his dad. I also keep in close contact with his dad and we discuss this often to make sure we're on the same page.

Do you swing with a select group of couples or whomever you find?

So far it's with select people we've met through ads more recently. In the past it was with friends. Our experience is very limited right now, we can count the couples on a single hand in our entire marriage. My hope is that the people we've met will continue to be our friends for quite some time in the future.

What color are your toys (since GT left it out).

Red White Blue and Clear... It wasn't supposed to be in patriotic colors, it just happened that way. My favorite one is the blue one

Is there anything you would like us to know that you have not said already?

That I'm probably more interesting in person I'm really quite a talkative person and I don't write half of what goes through my mind.

BTW the big 3-0 is not that bad, 3-3 is much worse LOL

I keep saying I had my last birthday last year I don't have a problem being 30. I just keep thinking that in a few weeks I'll be saying the phrase "that happened in my 20's" and I'll be closing that chapter. But I'll start the next decade of my life fresh with no mistakes... well at least until Sept 29th

[TNT]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

That I'm probably more interesting in person

I don't know, you are very interesting in print.

Ok, some questions:

Favorite T.V. show?

Favorite book/author?

Favorite movie?

Do you have family around that watches the kids when you two go out or do you have a regular babysitter?

Favorite alcoholic drink? (If you drink)

When you look for swinging partners do you two go the friends, ad or club route?

Silk, satin or cotton sheets?

How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Is 30 your scary age? (BTW 30's are great)

TNT

Side note: I really admire the way that you and your ex are still friends and communicate with each other where your son is concerned, it says a lot about both of you, as well as your current husband.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by TNT

Favorite T.V. show?

I can never narrow things down to just one favorite thing. I've been watching a lot of Trading Spaces and CSI when I have control over the TV, but otherwise Dora the Explorer really has my vote

Favorite book/author?

I'm ashamed to say that I don't read nearly as much as I used to. But when I do read it's almost purely non-fiction. Next on my list and on my bedside stand is In Harms Way. I just finished Angelas Ashes not too long ago and that was a really powerful book. My husband's favorite author is Tom Clancy.

Favorite movie?

Normally I don't watch that many sappy movies but Gone with the Wind is one of my all time favorites. I watch it once a year, I curl up with my crocheting and wipe the tears as Rhett Butler says "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" Maybe I enjoy it so much because I see much of myself in Scarlett. Otherwise I think The Shawshank Redemption is a close second.

Do you have family around that watches the kids when you two go out or do you have a regular babysitter?

My family exclusively. My mom and sometimes my sister will watch them when we go out and my gramma watches them while I work. My mom thinks it's really important that we spend time together so she takes the kids every other evening so we can have dinner together, just the two of us. She's done this since my second was born and it really helps keep the two of connected

Favorite alcoholic drink? (If you drink)

If I'm at a bar (which is so rare) my drink of choice is rum n coke. If I'm in a restaurant I find myself quite fond of margaritas... on the rocks

When you look for swinging partners do you two go the friends, ad or club route?

Well we've done all three now, my preference is the ad route. When we went the friend route it complicated the friendship and even though we are still good friends I don't want to go there again. We did go to a club once and had a little soft play with a couple and that was awesome but I do like to get to know people more first. So that leaves us with the ad route which is working very nicely. We've met a couple of great couples and we knew we were seeking the same thing before we even met.

Silk, satin or cotton sheets?

Cotton, much to my dismay. My preference would be flannel but my husband would never go for them. I got my first flannel sheets when I was a kid and it was never cold to climb into bed. Now speaking of cold, and this is something very important, temperature difference between the two of us is the hottest topic in my household and responsible for 95% of our disputes. I'm always cold and he's always hot... my mom bought us a dual control electric blanket for our annivesary once, she said it was to save our marriage

How many pairs of shoes do you have?

One pair work shoes, three pairs summer shoes, and three pairs of dress shoes and two other pairs. Shoes is something where I'm really lacking. Most of my shoes are 5 years old or older!

Is 30 your scary age? (BTW 30's are great)

I'm not sure what my scary age is, not 30, and I don't even think 40. Whatever age it is that my body starts to fall apart is my scary age. My mom is 50 and is as beautiful as ever and still very vivacious, so maybe 60 is my scary age

Side note: I really admire the way that you and your ex are still friends and communicate with each other where your son is concerned, it says a lot about both of you, as well as your current husband.

Thank you This is one of the most important things in the world to me. Life is too short to make enemies, especially where it can affect my children. We don't always see eye to eye but I accept it as it is and move on. I think my son is very well adjusted considering he has such young parents.

[JandL]

You haven't said much about what your Husband is like.
I'll throw some questions that go mainly to him.

What are his interests, hobbies, and goals?

What are his frustrations?

(Assuming he cares about football) What is his team for the upcoming football season? And his pick to win it all.

I guess you(wife) can answer those too if you like, I realize you have already answered some of them.

Thanks.

-J-

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by JandL

You haven't said much about what your Husband is like.
I'll throw some questions that go mainly to him.

Greetings all, the Mr. here...
I haven't been nearly as active on the big board as the Mrs. has, but she does keep me very well-informed as to ideas, thoughts, ruminations and *ahem* other things that pique her interest here.

What are his interests, hobbies, and goals?

My interests lie mostly in electronics; radio, computers, stereos, I've been working on rebuilding my childhood train set for our children for about 6 years now... . I have recently (in the past year) taken up paintball, although I don't get out nearly enough to keep all the voices quiet for any length of time- just kidding! It's pretty good exercise but expensive! Other hobbies include frequent lapses into daydreaming, and I do enjoy a fair amount of porn. My goals mainly focus around keeping the Mrs. happy and trying to get enough sleep to drudge through the next day. Well, additionally- raise tolerant, free-thinking children; try to keep on top of the bills; and have fun without hurting people (except for paintball).

What are his frustrations?

My biggest frustration in life is people with closed minds and open mouths. Second in the list is stupidity, especially when compounded with groupthink.

(Assuming he cares about football) What is his team for the upcoming football season? And his pick to win it all.

I have to admit that I know absolutely nothing about football, except one year when I was in elementary school when the Bengals were in the Super Bowl I bet on them and lost $5. I hate the Bengals. I do enjoy watching an occasional game, but don't ask me who plays on what team, *any* stats, or any of that stuff... it just interrupts the talking heads telling me what I am looking at

That said, I also like watching the Cubs play (sometime, they're bound to win... the law of averages gotta kick in sometime... ). And I will go to a hockey game anytime. College is the best (go Fighting Sioux!!). *but still, don't ask me stats or players, cuz I don't have a head for that stuff...

[Mephisto]

...I've been working on rebuilding my childhood train set for our children

I pulled my old train set out over the weekend for the first time since my son was born.

*but still, don't ask me stats or players, cuz I don't have a head for that stuff...

I'm exactly the same way -- I love to watch but dont ask me anything other than the rules ( and i dont know all of them ).



Do you ever feel left out when "The guys" start talking sports?

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by Mephisto

Do you ever feel left out when "The guys" start talking sports?

yeah, for a while, I fell like less of a manly-man, but then I dismiss it by reminding myself that I devote my brainpower to more relevant/meaningful topics! But I nod and play along as long as I can anyway, until I eventually get caught in the trap- you know- when someone asks a direct question you cant escape from... I guess it's trying to save face even though I know its going to end up in a trainwreck!

[wrnakedru]

My questions are kind of all in the same general area so I'll group them here under one post.

I was [favorably] impressed with you when I read this thread. While it must have been gratifying to you both to have been able to provide a good situation for your loved one, having an extra person in your home can often put a strain on the marriage relationship. And for the two of you, with a new baby, the potential for negative impact was high. How did the two of you keep things "good" for you? How did you manage to find "alone time" together?

In that same thread you say that although you had worked as a nurse's aide in a nursing home for 6 years, you wouldn't consider working in one now that you are a RN. I believe that was because of the lack of patient interaction. Without you having to divulge personal information, I am curious what sort of working situation you now have that undoubtedly meets that criteria for you. Are you in a "regular" hospital situation? On a particular service?(i.e., geriatric? pediatric?)

When my kids were young, I often felt that I could have saved some money at the pediatrician's if I'd had some medical knowledge myself. Would you say that is true of you - - or that your knowledge makes you quicker to seek a doctor's care?

I think those who choose a nursing career are, for the most part, very special, caring and compassionate individuals. At the same time, almost all I have known are absolutely terrible patients. Is that true of you as well?

Thanks in advance for your answers!

WR

[Joe_Ang]

Do you play together, separate, combined?

What do you feel about "taking one for a team"?

Is there anything you really want to experience that hubby has little interest or vice versa?

Do you have a religious background and have you had any moral delimas in the lifestyle?

What is the kinkiest thing either of you have done?

Do you have any sexy nurses outfits?

Do you prefer leather or lace?

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

My mom thinks it's really important that we spend time together so she takes the kids every other evening so we can have dinner together, just the two of us.

I missed the Thursday in there. My mom watches them every other thursday evening. I didn't want anyone to think I didn't spend any time at home!

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by wrnakedru

While it must have been gratifying to you both to have been able to provide a good situation for your loved one, having an extra person in your home can often put a strain on the marriage relationship. And for the two of you, with a new baby, the potential for negative impact was high. How did the two of you keep things "good" for you? How did you manage to find "alone time" together?

There definitely was more of a strain there but we took it one day at a time. Grandpa's life was his books so after meals he would just read for hours upon hours and family life almost felt normal for us. When he was reading and the little one was sleeping we seized those moments to be alone. And mom was great about letting us get out for a little bit. It could have been a negative impact on us but my husband was so incrediblely supportive it just couldn't help but be okay. I have to say I could never have married better.

In that same thread you say that although you had worked as a nurse's aide in a nursing home for 6 years, you wouldn't consider working in one now that you are a RN. I believe that was because of the lack of patient interaction. Without you having to divulge personal information, I am curious what sort of working situation you now have that undoubtedly meets that criteria for you. Are you in a "regular" hospital situation? On a particular service?(i.e., geriatric? pediatric?)

At this point I have no desire to be a nurse without doing direct patient care. Maybe later on but this is what I really want to be doing. I became a nurse's aid because my friend told me about patient neglet in this nursing home. I was horrified and wanted to do what I could to help. I thought I could at least be one person who cared for them. I was going to be a teacher but nursing was just a natural thing to go into after that. I work mostly in a basic Med-Surg unit and some ICU and ER where it's all about the patients. I would like to work ER full time but I'm waiting for the kids to get a little older.

When my kids were young, I often felt that I could have saved some money at the pediatrician's if I'd had some medical knowledge myself. Would you say that is true of you - - or that your knowledge makes you quicker to seek a doctor's care?

I definitely seek less medical care. And if I ever have a concern I have doctors right there for me to ask questions to. I see my own doctor most days that I work and he's always receptive to my asking questions while at work.

[quoteI think those who choose a nursing career are, for the most part, very special, caring and compassionate individuals. At the same time, almost all I have known are absolutely terrible patients. Is that true of you as well?[/quote]

I'm really a very good patient. Actually it's given me more patience and understanding than anything. The only times I've really been a patient since is when I had my last two babies and I didn't want them to bother me when I knew others needed more help. I let them do the teaching they needed to do and didn't make them think I was some kind of know it all. Nothing wrong with a little refresher of information. One doctor told me he was going to treat me as a mom and not as a nurse, I appreciated that very much.

[/quote]