Interview #18 - Elusive BiFem

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by stoutgatte

Ok, what is the one attribute you find most attractive in a partner?

How did your phobia of bugs start? Do you have a similar fear of other small animals (rodents, snakes, etc)?

I can't define one single attribute. They all flow together. Plus...I've never met anyone that was "perfect" in any aspect. I could say honesty - very important. But if we think our partner is always 100% honest, we are deluding ourselves. (Does my hair look nice? You better say yes if you want some tonight! ) But seriously, we all have secrets of one sort or the other.
Personality? Very important.
Intelligence? Very important.
Physical attraction? Very important.
Similar backgrounds and ethics? Very important.

See what I mean? All of those are very important to me, but one without the others might leave me cold. The sum of all the parts equals the whole and that is what I would define as the single most important attribute. The whole.

Phobia! A true, honest-to-God diagnosed phobia. Desensitization therapy - the whole 9 yards. Truthfully, it centers around those horrible roaches (also known as water bugs, palmetto bugs) and spiders. Anything that will "cling" to me. Little bugs, flys, little spiders, rolly-poly's, crickets, etc....no fear as soon as I understand they are NOT a roach or big spider. Actually, I do know the origin of the phobia but it is something I don't really want to divulge here. If you are interested, I'll be glad to PM you with the info, tho'. Not anything I'm ashamed of, but a bit more "identifying" than I might choose for the world to see. But I will say this here...the origin has absolutely nothing to do with a bug. As is true of most phobias, it stems from something that the conscious mind refuses to accept, but because it is so emotionally "traumatizing" the mind replaces the fear of the real thing with the fear of something the mind CAN accept. Or something like that. (And in my case, I've always wished the mind had replaced it with a fear of something less common - like alligators or something - something I didn't have to see all the time. Texas is no place to have a fear of roaches!) And no, nothing to do with abuse in any form - which is what most people think.

Rodents, snakes...nope. Not at all. I mean I have a "healthy" fear, but I don't panic. Now...when the 6 foot snake got in my house and I came nose-to-nose with him (her? it?), I experienced some real significant terror and panic. But come on...a huge 6 foot snake - nose-to-nose at10:30 at night. Tell me you wouldn't be afraid, too. And especially when you didn't have your glasses on and thought it was the vacuum cleaner cord!

Now I'm looking all around.....- EBF

[wrnakedru]

You have explained your fondness for keeping your three [yes, folks, that's 3] vacuum cleaners out as fixtures in a room as a comfort for having easy access to them to assist in bug murdering and ridding the scene of the body.

But if the cords from them are confusing, and a snake could sneak in unidentified, isn't that fondness of vacuums rather misplaced as a comfort thing?

Just wondering ....

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by wrnakedru

You have explained your fondness for keeping your three [yes, folks, that's 3] vacuum cleaners out as fixtures in a room as a comfort for having easy access to them to assist in bug murdering and ridding the scene of the body.

But if the cords from them are confusing, and a snake could sneak in unidentified, isn't that fondness of vacuums rather misplaced as a comfort thing?

Just wondering ....

Well, Mrs. WR...in the first place, my vacuums are very decorative in nature. They match my color scheme. I spent a great deal of time selecting the very highest quality vacuums based upon their colors. Now the Kirby manufacturer was a little tough and would not budge off that grey scheme. No problem, I just incorporated a few grey tones into my decorating scheme. Then I have the white one for the kitchen area - as you know, my kitchen is white. Then of course the one for the bedroom. (and what's interesting folks, is she doesn't even know about the 4th one I keep in the closet as a back-up! I cover it with clothes when I know she's coming over.)

As for the cords. Well, like all things, you have to make choices. Frankly, I'd rather confront a snake than a bug. And don't forget, I caught you over here trying to paint a yellow stripe on one of my vacuum cords one day...trying to make me believe it was a cobra or something. - EBF

[Mephisto]

Lmao -- I am sitting here reading this interview and just about rolling .. people are looking at me and wondering if i've finally lost it.


Having said that, I wonder, are you as amusing to speak to as you are to read. You seem to love life and all its foibles, and it's refreshing to " see " a complete stranger who is not dis-illusioned by life.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Mephisto

Lmao -- I am sitting here reading this interview and just about rolling .. people are looking at me and wondering if i've finally lost it.


Having said that, I wonder, are you as amusing to speak to as you are to read. You seem to love life and all its foibles, and it's refreshing to " see " a complete stranger who is not dis-illusioned by life.

Well, I have to admit...WR is the one making this funny...telling tales on me! True ones, to be sure, but still...Most often, I fall into the category of her "straight man." She loves it! Most often, I'm sitting here taking things so seriously or just totally not understanding something...and she just has a hey day with me. Half the time, tho', I don't even know she's having a hey day!

As for me...sometimes I'm amusing I guess, but I don't think it's a conscious thing. I'm certainly not rapid-fire quick like WR is. She has an answer for everything! It's just some of the jams I get myself into that strike most people as being funny, and me too, later. I'm just one of these people that can't walk out to check the mail without some type of "event" occurring. The other thing...I know and talk to everyone within the radius of my world (WR says it's only 5 miles, but on an adventuresome day I go 6). Something as simple as picking up my dry cleaning...I have to go back there and talk to all those people, find out about those machines, how their kids are, yada, yada..I'm liable to be there an hour and then walk out without my dry cleaning.

But yes, most of the time I do love life and have great fun - all by myself sometimes. But I have my moments, too. Trust me. - EBF

[Pepper & Drew]

I'm so glad I finally found where the Spotlight Interview is! So, EBF,

What's you favorite Olympic event?

Coke or Pepsi?

What is your favorite book and why?

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

I'm so glad I finally found where the Spotlight Interview is! So, EBF,

I'm glad you found it, too, since....

What's you favorite Olympic event?

I haven't watched any of the Olympic's thus far, but my favorite would be the tumbling stuff (I fancied myself as a tumbler when I was a kiddo - only managed to master a somersault so I had to give up my Olympic dreams) and I love the synchronized swimming. Beautiful! Winter Olympics - by far my favorite and the ice skating takes the cake for me. I love to watch ice skating.

Coke or Pepsi?

Coke! Only Coke! Pepsi will never cross my lips. Speaking of which...has anyone tried that new low carb Coke - C2? Not bad at all.

What is your favorite book and why?

Unfortunately, reading is something that I no longer do as much as I used to due to the effects of...AGE. I have those lineless bi-focal things, but still, I have to have really bright light to read - plus those bi-focal things hurt my neck. That is probably the thing I hate the very most about aging...weak eyes. That said, I used to be a voracious reader and had thousands of books. Literally. I even enjoyed reading the ads that came in the mail! That said...in the past, my favorites were varied. I love all "true crime" things, but especially those by Ann Rule. Lots of investigation, forensics...that sort of stuff. I've read and enjoyed everything by Pat Conroy. Fantastic writer. I've read everything by John Grisham except the newest one I just saw yesterday. Certain biographies - especially those of our First Ladies. US history - dating from WW II and to the present time. I'm not at all big on old or ancient history. Texas history. And lots of others - just went to my bookshelves:
In Search of Excellence
Lions Don't Need to Roar (talking lions here - not tigers! )
Smart Moves for People in Charge

And of course...hundreds of textbooks. New and old.

And....Why Dogs are Better Than Men...dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies....Dogs do not play games with you - except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw)
- EBF

[Vespertine]

What exactly do you do for work, EBF?
*I assumed you were in the medical field but you mentioned that you work from home. My curiosity is piqued!

What type of music do you listen to?

Sneakers or sandles?
Do you check your shoes for bugs like I do before you put them on?

What's this coyote story I keep hearing bits about?

Loved the chips and butter- Know any good salsa recipes? facelick

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

What exactly do you do for work, EBF?
*I assumed you were in the medical field but you mentioned that you work from home. My curiosity is piqued!

I am in the medical field, nursing to be exact. However, for a good many years I've not practiced nursing in the hospital/patient environment. I am what is commonly known as a "consultant" and work as an independent. People hire me for my "expertise" - and I wish lots more would hire me!

What type of music do you listen to?

Like everything else about me, there is no one particular type. (I wonder if this has something to do with the Libra thing and all things requiring balance?) I have CD's of all sorts - New Age, country, classical, rock, Big Band...I'd say I enjoy almost everything with the exception of 99.9% of the rap music I hear. Just depends on the mood....

Sneakers or sandles?
Do you check your shoes for bugs like I do before you put them on?

Both. Sneakers always for dog-walking excursions, sandles other times. No, I haven't checked them for bugs...thanks for reminding me! Something else I can add to my obsessive bug phobia repertoire.

What's this coyote story I keep hearing bits about?

Oh, my gosh! That would take up all of Julie's bandwith and I bet I'm already in trouble for writing too much...very, very short version. Night, dogs out to tinkle...one dog way far off - can barely see in moonlight. Suddenly yelps...one dog is beside me. I look up...THREE "dogs" running towards me. I know I only have 2 and 1 is standing next to me. Brain kicks in. Coyotes chasing my dog! Woe be to those coyotes! Rush out - screaming at dogs - GO HOME! GO HOME! They head for home. Position self between coyotes and dog. Terrified. Start backing up...screaming "GET OUT OF HERE!" Dogs, thinking they are coming to my rescue, rush back out. Coyotes start approaching again...about 5-6 feet away...I'm still screaming at them. Get dogs - run home! Go inside. Get totally, insanely, unbelievably pissed off that any thing/person/whatever would attack my dogs...put on the sneakers, grab a butcher knife and head back into the woods screaming..."You blankety-blanks want to pick on somebody - pick on somebody your own size! Come on out and fight like a man! I'll cut your blankety-blank throats!" Neighbor comes out and gets me (thank goodness - 2 coyotes would have killed me). Next morning, I promptly call the Mayor's office and told him 2 "rabid" coyotes tried to attack me and my dogs. Sent trapper out to trap coyotes. Trapped 19 over a period of weeks. None were rabid, of course. And the trapper and I are now good friends.

Loved the chips and butter- Know any good salsa recipes?

Yep. I'll post it in the What's for Dinner thread in General chat.

- EBF

[wrnakedru]

Originally Posted by Mephisto

Lmao -- I am sitting here reading this interview and just about rolling .. people are looking at me and wondering if i've finally lost it. Having said that, I wonder, are you as amusing to speak to as you are to read. You seem to love life and all its foibles, and it's refreshing to " see " a complete stranger who is not dis-illusioned by life.

I realize that EBF has already responded to this but I feel compelled to add my own remark about this. [Partially in my own defense, so that no one will think I am friends with her just because she makes me laugh!]

I think it speaks well of a person that they are able not only to laugh at life, but also at themselves when they recognize the humor of their own oh, so human foibles. It speaks volumes about EBF and her 'joi de vivre' that she can laugh at herself.

If we as humans can first of all realize that life presents us with very little that we should not be able to laugh at, we should also be able to acknowledge that living life provides us with many opportunities for amusement. Too many folks can laugh at others, but few possess the charm to be able to laugh at themselves.

It's a rare occurrence on the calendar when EBF hasn't found something that piques her curiosity, set her off on a research quest, and/or amuses her. I find that a highly desirable quality in a friend.

WR

[Botcpl]

The other day I was riding my bike through the park and a bee flew in front of me and I thought, "Good thing EBF wasn't here, she'd say we were camping." I know how much you hate bugs, but you do live in Texas and EVERTHING is bigger in Texas...you have to explane that to me.

Also, isn't it true that the thing Texans like to do is get together in someone's back yard and burn meat?

And if you were by the pool and you saw a leaf that Looked like a bug, would you still try to kill it and how?

I always thought Libras were a little off balance even though I like them very much. Is it me or are you leaning to one side some?

Just a few notes from your Gemini friend who still has familly in Texas, so don't take it out on them if I said something wrong.

P.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Botcpl

The other day I was riding my bike through the park and a bee flew in front of me and I thought, "Good thing EBF wasn't here, she'd say we were camping." I know how much you hate bugs, but you do live in Texas and EVERTHING is bigger in Texas...you have to explane that to me.
P.

There ain't no 'splainin' to it. It just is. Things are bigger in TEXAS!

Also, isn't it true that the thing Texans like to do is get together in someone's back yard and burn meat?

Yep. Did that last night in fact. Big ol' sirloin steak on the grill. Ummmm....goood.

And if you were by the pool and you saw a leaf that Looked like a bug, would you still try to kill it and how?

Well, if I saw a leaf and I knew it just looked like a bug...no I would not try to kill it because you can't kill a leaf. Are you asking if I saw the leaf and really thought it was a bug? If so...no, I would not try to kill it if it was just a simple little bug. If it was a roach or a huge spider, I still wouldn't try to kill it. I'd get somebody else to do it. Not me! I ain't goin' close enough to a roach or a spider to kill it outright. Now here - around the house...I use Raid Wasp and Hornet killer. Shoots 20 feet. I can stay safe and still stop 'em in their tracks.

I always thought Libras were a little off balance even though I like them very much. Is it me or are you leaning to one side some?

I'd have to say I probably tilt a bit here and there - to the left and to the right but I generally work my way back to center. I'm not really happy unless I'm relatively centered and will struggle to find my way back there. Now...are you speaking directly of the bug thing? If so...just think about how much more "centered" I am than I used to be.

Just a few notes from your Gemini friend who still has familly in Texas, so don't take it out on them if I said something wrong.

Nahhhh...would never do that. Since you are my bud, I just have to figure they would be, too. - EBF

[Alura]

EBF wrote:

Things are bigger in TEXAS!

Especially BUGS. I once watched a paniced friend of mine in Houston do battle in her kitchen with a cockroach whose body must have been three inches long. The cockroach died in the conflict, but only after much struggle.

That's why we live north of the Red River. Legend has it a Kiowa medicine man placed a spell on the river that keeps the gigantic bugs from crossing. It has no effect on our Texas friends, thankfully.

Big ol' sirloin steak on the grill.

Gotta switch you over to Bison meat, EBF, at November in Tulsa.

Mr. Alura

[Botcpl]

My first night in Houston I spent the whole night killing bug things with a hammer. I was so freaked out....

If you saw a leaf that you THOUGHT was a bug and it was floating towards you and there was no one to help you... would you freak and try to kill it?

There is a spider in my room, will you kill it for me?

P

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by Alura

[b] Legend has it a Kiowa medicine man placed a spell on the river that keeps the gigantic bugs from crossing. It has no effect on our Texas friends, thankfully.


Mr. Alura

Excuse me. I gotta go. I'm busy packing for a move across the Red River.

- EBF