Interview #13 - Curious24

[JustAskJulie]

About the interviews

Swingers Board interviews are a way for us to get to know each other better. It is a way to acknowledge just how wonderfully varied a community we are.
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Also, please keep in mind that any answers you post are viewable to complete strangers. There is some risk in that. Again, all questions are optional.

The following are general questions asked at the start of each new interview.

Question limit:
Gender (if not a couple):
If a couple, which one primarily posts:
Age(s):
Birthday(s):
Location:
Relationship status:
Swinging for how long?:
Prefer to swing with:
Favorite food(s):
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Brief Intro:
Picture:
Website (your own or one of your favorites):

[BodyScape02]

First let me say welcome and enjoy your time in the spotlight… I believe it will be very enlightening for everyone ( yes- pun intended). Now for a few questions…



How do you think your experience as a single male “in the lifestyle” and on “swinger sites” differs from the experience of being a single male on a “date site” ?

Does it differ at all? ( i.e. Goals, outcomes, the way you are treated, what you are looking for)

Why have you chosen to pursue intimate contact via swinging as opposed to the traditional “date site” approach?

What has been the most valuable piece of advice (on the topic of swinging) that you have received?

If you could give a fellow single male any advice, what would it be?

yours the ever curious,
~Cat

[curious24]

Gender (if not a couple): Male
Age(s): 26 but will be 27 on the 14th
Birthday(s): July 14
Location: Austin TX
Relationship status: Single - but working on a g/f situation
Swinging for how long?: Never had an experience but been curious for 5 years or so.
Prefer to swing with: Would like to try a couple.
Favorite food(s): Tex Mex & BBQ
Biggest Pet Peeve: When people smack their food and slurp their drinks!
Brief Intro: Grew up in texas and went to school in mississippi. studied computers and art. right now living back in texas, currently unemployed and looking for a job where i don't sit in front of a freak'n computer 100% of the time. I'm also got a studio working on some of my art work when i get the time
Picture: Sorry don't have one (I should probably get with the times eh?)
Website (your own or one of your favorites): www.slashdot.org, www.msnbc.com

[JustAskJulie]

Do you have any swinging experience? Or are you still looking for your first?

You mention you are looking for a g/f, are you looking specifically for a woman who is willing to swing? If you found a woman you were interested in who was not interested in swinging, would you put aside your interest in swinging to pursue the woman? Or would you pass on the woman?

[curious24]

How do you think your experience as a single male “in the lifestyle” and on “swinger sites” differs from the experience of being a single male on a “date site” ?
Honestly I don't think it differs all that much. No matter where I go it's just difficult for a single guy in my experience. I think I'm a nice guy but when you approach someone who doesn't know you from a fly on a wall it's tough breaking down that wall especially when you have the stereotype of a single guy. That's something I do not fit, but I do accept it and understand it. It's a good thing I do too cause if I didn't I certainly wouldn't be here posting I would have definately given up a long time ago.

Does it differ at all? ( i.e. Goals, outcomes, the way you are treated, what you are looking for)
Well on both sites I'm looking for friendship first. I've always told myself if something happens great if not no biggie. I think that is the way you have to look at relationships in general because being single I get rejected all the time. For me it's the only way to deal with the rejection. As far as being treated it's pretty much the same as well. I spoke before about the stereotype and it's just difficult to get away from it. One thing is for sure I've met more nice people on this site inparticular than on any other swinging or date site out there

Why have you chosen to pursue intimate contact via swinging as opposed to the traditional “date site” approach?
Well I have always been curious about my sexuality. Date sites are good if you want to find "the one" but I have found that a lot of people aren't who they say they are and a lot of the profiles are spam. Therefore I usually don't waste my time with them anymore. However, on swing sites you do have regular people and I haven't found any spam accounts. Granted about 99% of the profiles say ***NO SINGLE MEN*** etc etc. But that's fine I respect their wishes. I do however send nice messages to those profiles that I read telling the person(s) that I enjoyed their profile. It always surprises me that about 1 out of every 5 I hear back saying thanks. However on the date sites I usually never hear back. But back to your question, I do love 1 on 1 intimaicy but I really do want to explore my sexuality before I get locked down with someone who might not share the same open mindedness that I have. I've always told myself that I should be able to give up the lifestyle in a second especially if I found someone who I turely wanted to be with. hmm.. there's more to it than just that but I'll leave it at that for now

What has been the most valuable piece of advice (on the topic of swinging) that you have received?
Just be yourself. What you see is what you get. Hopefully I don't sound like I"m full of myself but I'm honest, whitty, smart, and in general fun to be around. So being myself is a huge part of me and the advice of just doing that I already knew but just renforced it

If you could give a fellow single male any advice, what would it be?
be yourself and whatever you do.. do NOT be a jerk.. all of us nice guys already have a tough enough time so be polite and treat others with respect. IMO the lifestyle isn't about a quick easy fuck it's about making friends and sharing an experience that those out side of the lifestyle will never experience or understand.

Thanks for the great questions!

[curious24]

Do you have any swinging experience? Or are you still looking for your first?
Still waiting for my first

You mention you are looking for a g/f, are you looking specifically for a woman who is willing to swing?
I touched on this a little in my previous post. It would be nice to meet a woman who was open minded enough to try swinging. The thing is that I know I would want her for a long while before I was ready to share myself or her with anyone.

If you found a woman you were interested in who was not interested in swinging, would you put aside your interest in swinging to pursue the woman? Or would you pass on the woman?
If I was interested in a woman who was not interested in swinging I would most definitely pursue her. I'm not one to pass up an opportunity of companionship just because they don't want to participate in something that interests me. I like to think that I can see both points of view. Why someone wouldn't be interested and why someone would be interested. I will say this though that if the woman I end up with doesn't want to swing she'll have to be an adventurous woman!

[JustAskJulie]

What is it that you are looking to find in swinging?
What type(s) of encounters are you looking for?
What sparked your interest in swinging?
Have you had the opportunity to visit any swing clubs as a single guy?

[Joe_Ang]

Some innocent questions:

What is the closest you have gotten to a swinging experience?

You mentioned you are curious about your sexuality, the limits you wish to take it too, or your sexual preference?

What is appealing about being with a couple as opposed to a single female?

Now some to kind of break the Single guy stereotypes:

Do you realize the power of a good picture? We are currently not interested in single males, but when we recieve a nice picture to go by sometimes I think how good my wife will look with him... At the very least, it adds some substance to the person you are chatting with.

Some single guys feel the need to tell you how big they are and how long they can go. This is an instant turn off to my wife. How do you approach a potential couple?

Would you play with a married woman, who said she wanted to be discreet (seen a few in the lifestyle)?

Thank you for being open with us!

[curious24]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

What is it that you are looking to find in swinging?

First thing I'm looking for is friendship. The reason I say this is that I don't just trust anyone. I'd really like to establish a friendship with the person(s) I'm going to share experiences with.

What type(s) of encounters are you looking for?
I would really like to find a couple to swing with. I really love getting a woman off and for those women that love the attention of two men pleasing her and making her feel good would really get me worked up

What sparked your interest in swinging?
Honestly I'm not sure. If I had to guess it was definately after my first serious g/f. I just got curious as to what it would be like with more than just 1 on 1 sex. I started searching the net for information and came across this site which has been by far the most helpful resource.

Have you had the opportunity to visit any swing clubs as a single guy?
Actually I don't waste my time with them. Since it usually costs an arm and a leg for single guys to go and the stereotype that single guys fall in I just don't see a point. I'm also afraid of "bumping" into anyone that I might know there. Some things in my life I'm very private about and this is one of them Sometimes that makes things hard to explore but at the same time the people I know if they found out about my curiousness about swinging they certainly wouldn't understand and they would most definately ostrazie me. Something that I don't want to do.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by Joe_Ang

Some innocent questions:

What is the closest you have gotten to a swinging experience?

I have actually been talking with a couple from this forum here but they live a few hours away and they are busy as well as I am. Our schedules just haven't matched for us to meet. Other than that I've had one couple from canada express interest in flying to austin to meet me. However, they haven't met some of the ground rules that I have in order to meet. Once they do that I may be willing to meet them. But what might stop any of this from actually happening is that a couple days ago I met a really incredible woman so like I have said in previous posts my swinging experiences may never get off the ground. Though it is definately too earily to tell.

You mentioned you are curious about your sexuality, the limits you wish to take it too, or your sexual preference?
I would say it's more of a limit thing. I'm not into pain or anything unusual. It's all about the pleasure for me and for the others I'm with. There are some things I will not try but I've told myself I'll try just about anything that feels good and respect limits that others have.

What is appealing about being with a couple as opposed to a single female?
Well considering I've only been with single women being with a couple excites me a lot because I can watch, be watched, or all of us enjoying each other at the same time. To me it's an extra set of everything (eyes, hands, etc) and just seems like it would be really exciting and fun

Now some to kind of break the Single guy stereotypes:

Do you realize the power of a good picture? We are currently not interested in single males, but when we recieve a nice picture to go by sometimes I think how good my wife will look with him... At the very least, it adds some substance to the person you are chatting with.
I totally agree with you here. Like I said in a previous question I'm afraid of meeting up with someone I know. I don't know why I'm like this I tried to explain it. However, I do know that if I did have a partner in this with me I don't think it would be such a big deal. I guess it's just a comfort thing. If I had a picture online I'm sure I would get some responces but first I need one second I need to feel secure about posting it on a swing site.

Some single guys feel the need to tell you how big they are and how long they can go. This is an instant turn off to my wife. How do you approach a potential couple?
I've never understood why some single guys do this. Doesn't make sense to me. I also don't understand why people post close up pics of their cocks and pussies. That to me is a huge turn off. I'd much rather see sexy teasing pics of people. I guess it's just different strokes for different floks. When I do approach a couple, which doesn't happen too often, I keep it friendly. I would never send a message saying "you're hot want to fuck?" That definately isn't me and that's not the type of people I'm looking for. I really want to find friends whom I feel secure and comfortable with to experiences things. Finding this (especially without a picture like you have noted) is difficult to do. However, I also said that if it happens great if not no biggie. I do wish though that I could see the future and see what I would be thinking if I don't or do have an experience. What type of person would it make me? Guess I won't know until I get there

Would you play with a married woman, who said she wanted to be discreet (seen a few in the lifestyle)?
Yes I would but I would want to talk with her husband and meet both of them before anything happened. I don't know if there are that many cheating wives out there but everyone knows there are cheating men out there. I just don't want to get caught with my pants down (pardon the pun there! lol).

Thank you for being open with us!
No problem it's a wonderful surprise to get this opportunity to speak my mind with everyone!

[Vespertine]

What are the ground rules you want met before you meet someone?

Would you prefer a MFM or a FMF encounter?

What kind of swinging fantasy do you have?

Do you have any pets? If so, names please.

Also you mentioned you were looking for a girlfriend. Don't you think you should find a girlfriend into swinging so you can have your cake and eat everyone else's cake too?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by curious24

Have you had the opportunity to visit any swing clubs as a single guy?

How can you assume it's a waste if you haven't tried it? Some guys do have good luck with clubs and you might be one of the lucky ones.

Why would it be a problem to run into someone you know at a club, when they are there for the same reason?

Are you bicurious?

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Are you bicurious?

I was wondering the same thing myself (but was afraid to ask).

If you are, I think this is a great way to explore your sexuality if you can find a couple with a bicurious male---and from what I can tell reading the board there does seem to be a few of them!

[curious24]

I tried to reply to this yesterday but after I wrote everything out my internet died so I'll try again

Originally Posted by Vespertine

What are the ground rules you want met before you meet someone?

Well my rules are as follows. I usually meet people online so I like to talk to them online for awhile to get to know them. Then if possible I really like to see a picture of them before we meet. Then for the first meeting I like to meet out at a public place and see how things go. If things go well then we take it from there if not then we go out seperate ways. Those are my rules and I'm definately not one to just jump into anything.

Would you prefer a MFM or a FMF encounter?
I definately would prefer a MFM right now. Don't get me wrong a FMF would be very nice but I think that the presure to preform and please two women would just be too much for me. With the MFM there is less presure on me wich makes things a lot more comfortable for me.

What kind of swinging fantasy do you have?
Right now I really want to try a MFM. I have a pretty vivid imagination so I can think of a lot of things to do just with that There are other things I would definately like to try but I really (like I said above) don't want to jump into things without knowing. So start small for me and work up to bigger things.

Do you have any pets? If so, names please.
No pets here would like to have pets though some day. Dogs definately.

Also you mentioned you were looking for a girlfriend. Don't you think you should find a girlfriend into swinging so you can have your cake and eat everyone else's cake too?
I would really love to find a woman who was interested. But IMO it's harder to find a single lady who want a b/f into the lifestlye than it is finding a single bi lady to play with!

[curious24]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

[/b]How can you assume it's a waste if you haven't tried it? Some guys do have good luck with clubs and you might be one of the lucky ones.[/b]

You are right I haven't tried it. I don't think it would be a big deal if I went out of town to one. I just won't do it here in town. For me it's a comfort thing really and I just don't feel comfortable going here in town.

Why would it be a problem to run into someone you know at a club, when they are there for the same reason?
I've thought about this too. It would just be too weird for me. Like I said it's a comfort thing for me. I do think once I got over that hump it wouldn't be a big deal at all, but getting over that hump is really tough for me.

Are you bicurious?
This is how I explain it to people. I have my limits but if someone wanted me to try something with a guy I might do it. I really don't know though. I would definately have to be in the situation. If that is bicurious then I guess I am. I don't mind contact with another guy or anything cause I'm guessing that's going to happen so what's the big deal with it? I honestly don't know. I don't want a relationship with a guy or want to be affectionate with one. That doesn't float my boat, but you know if one thing leads to another and everyone is happy and feeling good then I really don't see a problem. Then again that's just how I look at it and sometimes I wish others saw it the way I do.