Not homophobic??

WyldeCouple · 12-04-2005, 12:21 PM

We have run across this statement so many times. Have never been able to get a concrete answer. The guy says he is str8 but "not homophobic". Okay just what the heck does that mean?? Being a biguy I have my own ideas, but in general what do YOU think??

Chicup · 12-04-2005, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WyldeCouple

We have run across this statement so many times. Have never been able to get a concrete answer. The guy says he is str8 but "not homophobic". Okay just what the heck does that mean?? Being a biguy I have my own ideas, but in general what do YOU think??

It could be anything from 'I won't freak out when I see your penis' to 'I won't freak out if you touch my penis with your mouth'.

Since there is no swinger dictionary that everyone follows there is really no way to be sure.

Rockon · 12-04-2005, 01:38 PM

For me it means I don't freak out when there is contact in a DP situation

CA91709 · 12-04-2005, 01:49 PM

Mr. CA posting...
I'll Ditto Rockon with that definition. Nuts/Balls knocking together during double penetration (DP) encounters, or even penises rubbing together during Vagina DP, don't `make you gay' in my opinion. There is, after all, a woman in between.

curiousagain · 12-04-2005, 02:10 PM

You know, I have this in my profile and I hadn't really thought that some would think some of those things. Mine meant I wouldn't freak out during a dp. I may have to redo some of it.

**good times** · 12-04-2005, 03:42 PM

Previously, I kind of thought the meaning was obvious, but after reading this thread it doesn't even seem obvious to me any more.

For me it has always meant, I am not gay or Bi but I don't have any problem associating or being friends with those that are.

Spoomonkey · 12-04-2005, 03:45 PM

I buy a lot of my clothes at a gay men's clothes store... And I flirt for discounts... We're friends with the owners and the guys that work there.

We also have a friend who lives near us who is gay, and he and his partner invite us over to sit in the hot tub and drink beer...

I have no problem with any of that.

But - would I have any sort of sexual contact with another guy? No.

That's what it means to me...

Well - that and what Rockon said.

Spoomonkey

WyldeCouple · 12-04-2005, 04:06 PM

On one instace the fella said he was not homophobic and would even go so far as to take a bj from a guy. Hmmmm to me that means passive bisexual...

BHMnorm · 12-04-2005, 05:11 PM

I have said this myself..i believe what it means is that i don't have a problem being near..touching or feeling a penis while in a threesome situation..just not bi...

RenoCple · 12-05-2005, 05:05 PM

Umm, I am not bi or gay or even bi curious, but also not rabid about it, lol. It is pretty hard to do a MFM DP without some incidental contact, but that contact wouldn't be an end in itself. I understand what someone means when they say they are "not homophobic" they are not overly concerned with the matter.

One interesting thing to me is guys that are homophobic, really obsessed with the matter, it makes me wonder why. What is it in them that makes them feel so threatened?

GerdOEvert · 12-05-2005, 05:23 PM

When someone says, "I'm not homophobic" my antennae go up, and it is like other loaded words. "I'm not a racist". "That's a bigot" etc. etc. etc.

The clue to me is that the area is troubling to the speaker.

Otto

curiousagain · 12-05-2005, 07:51 PM

This has been a very informative thread. As I stated I had not bicurious but not homophobic in my profile and I just meant that I wouldn't freak out during a DP. After reading this thread I realize different people take it many different ways so I changed my profile.

Thanks to everyone for their input. It never hurts to hear another viewpoint and you just might learn something.

Jamie&Kieth · 12-05-2005, 08:21 PM

I know my husband is comfortable around the guys who we play with, he doesn't get freaked out with the contact due to 'DP' or 'double blow jobs', misdirected cum shots. But if there was a male in the group that he did ot know, then yes he would feel very uncomfortable and homophobic. To tell you the truth I can I feel the same way if I was with a bunch of women I did not know.

montresor · 12-06-2005, 06:08 AM

In other threads, bi guys and couples with bi guys have noted that stating "I'm a big honkin' bi guy!" in their ad seems to limit their responses and opportunities for meeting a wide range of people, but to lie and claim they're straight just to get more dates doesn't sit well with them. I wonder if, for some people, the "not homophobic" appellation is a graceful way of saying that if m2m contact happens or is desired, they have no problem going with the flow, but if only "het" action is on the menu, they're happy to go with that too.

A way of being upfront without creating a situation that might make someone uncomfortable?

txduo2000 · 12-06-2005, 01:59 PM

That phrase always seemed pretty self-explanatory to me as well.

To me, it just means that a guy is straight but will not freak out at another naked penis being in the room, or involved in a MFM threesome, or a DP or group sex situation. I guess for some, it *might* mean that they *may* consider some slight bi-guy contact, but it depends on the person. I would think that would fall under the bi-curious or bi-friendly type of description, though.

It is still self-explanatory to me in that same sense. I don't think there's any reason to overanalyze anything.

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12-04-2005, 12:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
WyldeCouple Active Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 21 Location: Texas Gulf Coast Status: Couple	Not homophobic?? We have run across this statement so many times. Have never been able to get a concrete answer. The guy says he is str8 but "not homophobic". Okay just what the heck does that mean?? Being a biguy I have my own ideas, but in general what do YOU think??

12-04-2005, 01:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rockon Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 51 Location: Ohio Status: s Male	Re: Not homophobic?? For me it means I don't freak out when there is contact in a DP situation

12-04-2005, 01:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
CA91709 Active Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 56 Location: California Status: Couple	Re: Not homophobic?? Mr. CA posting... I'll Ditto Rockon with that definition. Nuts/Balls knocking together during double penetration (DP) encounters, or even penises rubbing together during Vagina DP, don't `make you gay' in my opinion. There is, after all, a woman in between. __________________ "Some called her a bad girl. They didn't know how right they were." quote from the book The Real Bettie Page by Richard Foster

12-04-2005, 02:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
curiousagain A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,091 Location: Tennessee Status: Single Male	Re: Not homophobic?? You know, I have this in my profile and I hadn't really thought that some would think some of those things. Mine meant I wouldn't freak out during a dp. I may have to redo some of it. __________________ "I never want to be the fat elvis." Jon Bon Jovi

12-04-2005, 03:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,634 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: Not homophobic?? Previously, I kind of thought the meaning was obvious, but after reading this thread it doesn't even seem obvious to me any more. For me it has always meant, I am not gay or Bi but I don't have any problem associating or being friends with those that are. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

12-04-2005, 03:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,648 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Not homophobic?? I buy a lot of my clothes at a gay men's clothes store... And I flirt for discounts... We're friends with the owners and the guys that work there. We also have a friend who lives near us who is gay, and he and his partner invite us over to sit in the hot tub and drink beer... I have no problem with any of that. But - would I have any sort of sexual contact with another guy? No. That's what it means to me... Well - that and what Rockon said. Spoomonkey __________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

12-04-2005, 04:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
WyldeCouple Active Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 21 Location: Texas Gulf Coast Status: Couple	Re: Not homophobic?? On one instace the fella said he was not homophobic and would even go so far as to take a bj from a guy. Hmmmm to me that means passive bisexual...

12-04-2005, 05:11 PM	#9 (permalink)
BHMnorm Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Glens Falls , NY Status: single male	Re: Not homophobic?? I have said this myself..i believe what it means is that i don't have a problem being near..touching or feeling a penis while in a threesome situation..just not bi...

12-05-2005, 05:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
RenoCple Registered Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Reno	Re: Not homophobic?? Umm, I am not bi or gay or even bi curious, but also not rabid about it, lol. It is pretty hard to do a MFM DP without some incidental contact, but that contact wouldn't be an end in itself. I understand what someone means when they say they are "not homophobic" they are not overly concerned with the matter. One interesting thing to me is guys that are homophobic, really obsessed with the matter, it makes me wonder why. What is it in them that makes them feel so threatened?

12-05-2005, 05:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
GerdOEvert Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 201 Location: Walla Walla, WA	Re: Not homophobic?? When someone says, "I'm not homophobic" my antennae go up, and it is like other loaded words. "I'm not a racist". "That's a bigot" etc. etc. etc. The clue to me is that the area is troubling to the speaker. Otto

12-05-2005, 07:51 PM	#12 (permalink)
curiousagain A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,091 Location: Tennessee Status: Single Male	Re: Not homophobic?? This has been a very informative thread. As I stated I had not bicurious but not homophobic in my profile and I just meant that I wouldn't freak out during a DP. After reading this thread I realize different people take it many different ways so I changed my profile. Thanks to everyone for their input. It never hurts to hear another viewpoint and you just might learn something. __________________ "I never want to be the fat elvis." Jon Bon Jovi

12-05-2005, 08:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
Jamie&Kieth Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 209 Location: Massachusetts Status: M.Female	Re: Not homophobic?? I know my husband is comfortable around the guys who we play with, he doesn't get freaked out with the contact due to 'DP' or 'double blow jobs', misdirected cum shots. But if there was a male in the group that he did ot know, then yes he would feel very uncomfortable and homophobic. To tell you the truth I can I feel the same way if I was with a bunch of women I did not know.

12-06-2005, 06:08 AM	#14 (permalink)
montresor Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 78 Location: Cleveland Hts., OH Status: single male (w/swing partner) Swing Lifestyle Name:montresor	Re: Not homophobic?? In other threads, bi guys and couples with bi guys have noted that stating "I'm a big honkin' bi guy!" in their ad seems to limit their responses and opportunities for meeting a wide range of people, but to lie and claim they're straight just to get more dates doesn't sit well with them. I wonder if, for some people, the "not homophobic" appellation is a graceful way of saying that if m2m contact happens or is desired, they have no problem going with the flow, but if only "het" action is on the menu, they're happy to go with that too. A way of being upfront without creating a situation that might make someone uncomfortable?

12-06-2005, 01:59 PM	#15 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: Not homophobic?? That phrase always seemed pretty self-explanatory to me as well. To me, it just means that a guy is straight but will not freak out at another naked penis being in the room, or involved in a MFM threesome, or a DP or group sex situation. I guess for some, it might mean that they may consider some slight bi-guy contact, but it depends on the person. I would think that would fall under the bi-curious or bi-friendly type of description, though. It is still self-explanatory to me in that same sense. I don't think there's any reason to overanalyze anything. __________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

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