Hidden Desires

Vespertine · 06-06-2005, 12:27 PM

In this recent post by ppdp, she was wondering if perhaps the reason her husband will not allow playtime with men is because he may be suppressing a secret bi attraction to men.

There is that theory that some men that might question their own sexuality are not comfortable around gay/bi men at all or other men in sexual situations.

I'm NOT saying that all men that are uncomfortable around other naked men in play situations are gay or bi or anything, but I'm wondering if some men could be.

I'd really like to hear people's opinions about this, especially from the bisexual men who maybe struggled with being able to admit their attractions to the opposite sex in the past.

*Once again, I'm not saying that ALL men that don't like to get naked around other men are secretly gay/bi. Some men just don't like to because they just don't.

Cpl2SwingNC · 06-06-2005, 12:34 PM

I used to classify myself as bi-curious, but after being with a couple who the male said that he was bi-curious as well, I've determined that I probably am not. Didn't even have the least urge to see it happen. I am not saying that I'd never try it, just do not believe I am what I thought I was. That being said, if I am uncomfortable with my wife around other men it has usually proven to be a valid reason. Call is spidey senses or intuition as things progressed she has become more uncomforable as well.

I wonder if men who have problems with their partner with another male see themselves as adequate?

PiNKFLoYD · 06-06-2005, 12:57 PM

I think it's definitely a factor with some men. From what I've seen, men tend to be a bit more homophobic than women, and women tend to be more homophobic about men.

I don't know how many women I've heard say that they can understand 2 ladies making out, but not 2 guys.

islandgirl · 06-06-2005, 02:03 PM

I know one woman who says that seeing two men together is a real turn on for her.....personally I don't get it.

Two women on the other hand, yep, that'll do it everytime..... facelick

Vespertine · 06-06-2005, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by islandgirl

I know one woman who says that seeing two men together is a real turn on for her.....

Now you know another one. Me.

A big fantasy of mine is a 3-some with me and two bi guys. I have to note that this will remain a fantasy for me because my husband isn't sexually attracted to men.

clem · 06-06-2005, 05:02 PM

This my second attempt at an adroit reply:
Obvious Answer #1 is to find two bi-guys to have sex with -you're in FLA, shouldn't be that difficult; invite the husband along. OA #2, find two bi-guys that you can voyeur; invite the husband along -maybe you can make something of it with his back turned toward them and his face turned towards you. OA #3, rent a DVD. Clem

Vespertine · 06-06-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clem

This my second attempt at an adroit reply

I'm impressed with your usage of adriot, Clem.

But alas, my fantasy will remain just that.

My only option is OA #3. Which doesn't really do it for me since I'm not in the video with the guys. My husband has given me permission to go off on my own to indulge in my fantasy but I'm not comfortable playing w/out him.

**LikeMinds321** · 06-06-2005, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vespertine

A big fantasy of mine is a 3-some with me and two bi guys. I have to note that this will remain a fantasy for me because my husband isn't sexually attracted to men.

Dito!

Two gay guys who are partners are good friends of mine. I have thought they might be a way for my fantasy to be realized one day.

They don't know I'm a swinger, and our age difference could make me their mom.

LM

**Alura** · 06-06-2005, 06:05 PM

I once met a lady from San Francisco at a campground near Istanbul. I gave her a ride to the airport after a couple of days hanging out together. If I were to write a story, "The Most Interesting Person I Ever Met," she'd be one of the finalists on my list.

She was bi and had convinced her husband to swap with some long-time friends. During the play, the ladies got together and so did the men.

Her husband was never able to make love to her after that. Being with a woman sickened him.

They had divorced good friends and she was traveling before deciding where to go with her life.

I kissed her "goodbye" and put her on her flight. I don't think I ever knew where the flight was going.

Mr. Alura

Vespertine · 06-06-2005, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Two gay guys who are partners are good friends of mine. I have thought they might be a way for my fantasy to be realized one day.

A close (and VERY HOT facelick ) gay male friend of mine enjoys women at times. He and I often conversed about how cool it would be to seduce my husband together. My husband overheard us plotting and scheming one night. He promptly sat us down and informed us it would never happen, under any circumstance and we weren't even allowed to fantasize about him anymore.

**LikeMinds321** · 06-06-2005, 06:52 PM

Ves, I can see your husband's very serious face right now.

I bet it took everything in your power not to break out laughing at that moment.

LM

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-06-2005, 06:53 PM

It's interesting because I've heard from many that they believe that men who enjoy seeing their women have sex with other men are actually suppressing bi desires. Now, this could be turned around to say that those who point out bi-ness in others and are the most anti-bi/ homo-phobic are actually the ones suppressing the bi desires. So, it could go either way.

jennandjamesinm · 06-06-2005, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vespertine

A close (and VERY HOT facelick ) gay male friend of mine enjoys women at times. He and I often conversed about how cool it would be to seduce my husband together. My husband overheard us plotting and scheming one night. He promptly sat us down and informed us it would never happen, under any circumstance and we weren't even allowed to fantasize about him anymore.

Oh no Ves - funny though. I think James would have the exact same reaction!!!

I think I would like to watch just once so I could form an opinion about seeing 2 guys together - I guess its something that I have never really though of before, but now that I am thinking about it - it would be very interesting. But alas - it will never happen, James has made that VERY clear

Jenn

BradAndJanet · 06-06-2005, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vespertine

... I'm NOT saying that all men that are uncomfortable around other naked men in play situations are gay or bi or anything, but I'm wondering if some men could be. ...

I believe that you're probably right, some men are uncomfortable for that very reason. Boys in our American culture are indoctrinated from a very early age that being a 'sissy' or a 'queer' is wrong, wrong, wrong. Unfortunately, this leaves the minority who are attracted to men with little chance to openly explore that part of their sexuality. For example, how many times have you read about married men being caught cruising the public parks for a little male-male action? It's sad, really, that our society allows them no other outlet for their very real feelings.

-B

**TNT** · 06-06-2005, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vespertine

A close (and VERY HOT facelick ) gay male friend of mine enjoys women at times. He and I often conversed about how cool it would be to seduce my husband together. My husband overheard us plotting and scheming one night. He promptly sat us down and informed us it would never happen, under any circumstance and we weren't even allowed to fantasize about him anymore.

Ves...that is too funny

Bring your friend and come for a visit, I know lots of bi men and I'm sure I could find someone to help you out with your fantasy.

Ummm BTW...I personally think two men together are just as hot and sexy as two women together.

Teresa

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06-06-2005, 12:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Vespertine Retired Mod Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,688 Location: Shangri La Status: Happily Married	Hidden Desires In this recent post by ppdp, she was wondering if perhaps the reason her husband will not allow playtime with men is because he may be suppressing a secret bi attraction to men. There is that theory that some men that might question their own sexuality are not comfortable around gay/bi men at all or other men in sexual situations. I'm NOT saying that all men that are uncomfortable around other naked men in play situations are gay or bi or anything, but I'm wondering if some men could be. I'd really like to hear people's opinions about this, especially from the bisexual men who maybe struggled with being able to admit their attractions to the opposite sex in the past. *Once again, I'm not saying that ALL men that don't like to get naked around other men are secretly gay/bi. Some men just don't like to because they just don't. __________________ Ves The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

06-06-2005, 12:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cpl2SwingNC Active Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 29 Location: Kenly, NC Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Cpl2SwingNC	Re: Hidden Desires I used to classify myself as bi-curious, but after being with a couple who the male said that he was bi-curious as well, I've determined that I probably am not. Didn't even have the least urge to see it happen. I am not saying that I'd never try it, just do not believe I am what I thought I was. That being said, if I am uncomfortable with my wife around other men it has usually proven to be a valid reason. Call is spidey senses or intuition as things progressed she has become more uncomforable as well. I wonder if men who have problems with their partner with another male see themselves as adequate? __________________ Van Gough for it Dito

06-06-2005, 12:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
PiNKFLoYD Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 95 Location: Northeast Tennessee Status: Male - separated	Re: Hidden Desires I think it's definitely a factor with some men. From what I've seen, men tend to be a bit more homophobic than women, and women tend to be more homophobic about men. I don't know how many women I've heard say that they can understand 2 ladies making out, but not 2 guys. __________________ Yes, that is a battery powered device in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

06-06-2005, 02:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
islandgirl back again? Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 47 Location: Canada Status: single female	Re: Hidden Desires I know one woman who says that seeing two men together is a real turn on for her.....personally I don't get it. Two women on the other hand, yep, that'll do it everytime..... facelick __________________ islandgirl, still in progress........but what progress we are making!!!!

06-06-2005, 05:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
clem Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 36 Location: Bakersfield,CA Status: Married Male Swing Lifestyle Name:1desperatehousewife	Re: Hidden Desires This my second attempt at an adroit reply: Obvious Answer #1 is to find two bi-guys to have sex with -you're in FLA, shouldn't be that difficult; invite the husband along. OA #2, find two bi-guys that you can voyeur; invite the husband along -maybe you can make something of it with his back turned toward them and his face turned towards you. OA #3, rent a DVD. Clem

06-06-2005, 06:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,353 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Hidden Desires I once met a lady from San Francisco at a campground near Istanbul. I gave her a ride to the airport after a couple of days hanging out together. If I were to write a story, "The Most Interesting Person I Ever Met," she'd be one of the finalists on my list. She was bi and had convinced her husband to swap with some long-time friends. During the play, the ladies got together and so did the men. Her husband was never able to make love to her after that. Being with a woman sickened him. They had divorced good friends and she was traveling before deciding where to go with her life. I kissed her "goodbye" and put her on her flight. I don't think I ever knew where the flight was going. Mr. Alura __________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

06-06-2005, 06:52 PM	#11 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Julie's Helper Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,992 Location: On the couch Status: Married to MrLM	Re: Hidden Desires Ves, I can see your husband's very serious face right now. I bet it took everything in your power not to break out laughing at that moment. LM __________________ There are so many more interesting ways to be than right. ~ Robert Rauschenberg

06-06-2005, 06:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 24,502 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 75	Re: Hidden Desires It's interesting because I've heard from many that they believe that men who enjoy seeing their women have sex with other men are actually suppressing bi desires. Now, this could be turned around to say that those who point out bi-ness in others and are the most anti-bi/ homo-phobic are actually the ones suppressing the bi desires. So, it could go either way.

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