Would couples with a bi-male want to play with a couple with a straight male?

rntsvo · 04-19-2005, 04:58 PM

I was not really sure where to put this or how to title it.

My husband and I have been in this lifestyle for about 3 months now. We have had two experiences before we got into the lifestyle, it was with the same person both times.

We met up with a couple earlier this month first time. She is bi and so is he. My husband is not bi, he is straight and does not ever want to be touched by another male. We ended up playing together we done a soft swap week after our first meeting. The other guy never did touch my husband, which was good. We hope play with them again sometime in the future.

I emailed another couple today just wondering if they would like to talk. They said that there was no connection because of several reasons. The main one because we played with a couple with a bi male.

I tried to explain to them that my husband is not bi and is very straight. They ended up blocking us from emailing them anymore. Maybe I should have not said anything but I don't think it is right.

My question is, if another couple wanted to chat maybe play later on. They had played with another couple had a bi male would you play with the couple with the straight man, anyways?

I hope that made sense.

EvilMJ · 04-19-2005, 05:11 PM

Just because one couple has a bi - male, I would not assume that the other man was bi as well. There are lots of couples with bi-women and I do not assume that other couples have bi-women.

I would not exclude anyone based on the sexual orientaion of a couple they play with.

I think you are better off not having played with the couple that blocked you, it appears that have issues and that one could have been the least of them!

**two4youinswva** · 04-19-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

I emailed another couple today just wondering if they would like to talk. They said that there was no connection because of several reasons. The main one because we played with a couple with a bi male.

One quick question: How did they know you played with a couple with a bi male?

Quote:

My question is, if another couple wanted to chat maybe play later on. They had played with another couple had a bi male would you play with the couple with the straight man, anyways?

Yes we would. Assuming there was a connection in all the other ways. Mr two4you isn't bi or bi-curious, but isn't freaked out by it either.

rntsvo · 04-19-2005, 05:14 PM

They knew because they checked out our profile out on site we found them. The couple we played with had certified us. So I guess they checked them out also.

**two4youinswva** · 04-19-2005, 05:18 PM

Quote:

The couple we played with had certified us. So I guess they checked them out also.

Gotcha.

disqreetcouple · 04-19-2005, 05:19 PM

Could be several reasons and they obviously aren't comfortable. I think it is because the guy is a complete homophobe. But I could be completely ignorant on this one and it has to do with them being scared of disease. Of course that is based on ignorance too

rntsvo · 04-19-2005, 05:26 PM

It really don't bother me that they are uncomfortable. Because I can see how they feel in some ways. It is just they blocked us they bugs me. But it really does not matter, more power to them!

I believe that if anyone wants to talk to us they have to have some kind of attraction first.

Maybe it is also because we have kids and have to arrange meeting people also.

I just found it strange that being their main problem with us. I guess their our other people like them out there and nothing we can do about it.

Zoe&Wash · 04-19-2005, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disqreetcouple

Could be several reasons and they obviously aren't comfortable. I think it is because the guy is a complete homophobe. But I could be completely ignorant on this one and it has to do with them being scared of disease. Of course that is based on ignorance too

Dito

To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "You didn't get any 'gay' on you did you?"

No play for the 'phobes. Their loss.

W

northindycpl · 04-19-2005, 06:27 PM

To be honest, I am not sure that I would play with a couple knowing they played with a bi-male. Here is why:

Many men say they are straight, because of their perception of some sort of stigma associated with being a bi-male. Although, I believe your explaination of events, if I just met you via email and looked at your profile and saw that you played with a bi-male couple, then I would assume your husband is a situationally bi-male (or bi-curious) and I know that would make me uncomfortable. Remember, the other couple doesn't have your information, like we do.

I would not have just blocked you, I would have sent you an email stating politely that we weren't interested. I do think it is rude that they just blocked you. But, even is swinging you are going to meet rude people.

If this is bothering you, then you can remove the certification (if using SLS) and it won't be an issue again. There are a few posts here that will direct you on getting a certification from SLS, instead of other couples.

BTW, we were once told that someone didn't want to play with us because one of the certification couples was fat. To each his own I guess.

It is much better to find out they are uncomfortble with it now, before you met them, then later.

Welcome to the board, too! I hope you will post more so we can learn more about you and your husband.

rntsvo · 04-19-2005, 06:49 PM

Well we found out real reason why they were not interested. It was because to them I am a BBW. To each their own. :rollseyes They could of just said they were not interested instead of what they did say.

BTW: Yes we do have a profile on SLS.

Atilla · 04-20-2005, 02:44 PM

It's their loss, I wouldn't worry about it. What they did was rude and you did explain that your hubby is straight. Why, they would be so picky about this is just being plain picky.

If I was them, I would've wanted a promise that condoms would be used if we were to play with you. Then all would be good.

BiDrywallChick · 04-20-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atilla

It's their loss, I wouldn't worry about it. What they did was rude and you did explain that your hubby is straight. Why, they would be so picky about this is just being plain picky.

If I was them, I would've wanted a promise that condoms would be used if we were to play with you. Then all would be good.

I have to agree with Atilla here. It's thier loss. Pretty petty the way they acted. Some people are just like that. its better to know now and cut your losses than to keep wondering and trying to set something up with them. Again.. another example of people who are a waste of makeup

VegasLee · 04-20-2005, 03:28 PM

Life is to short and the Lifestyle is to much fun to worry about other people that are not an important part of your life think.

There is 1000's more out there to have fun with.

Go on, enjoy!

EvilMJ · 04-20-2005, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VegasLee

Life is to short and the Lifestyle is to much fun to worry about other people that are not an important part of your life think.

There is 1000's more out there to have fun with.

Go on, enjoy!

What he said!!

**Pepper & Drew** · 04-20-2005, 05:54 PM

That's priceless...

Quote:

Originally Posted by northindycpl

BTW, we were once told that someone didn't want to play with us because one of the certification couples was fat. To each his own I guess.

Now, we've had some characters contact us on SLS, but that beats all!!!

I'm sure you cried many hours into your pillow that you missed out on that couple!

To rntsvo,
Unfortunately, there is a huge double standard in the Lifestyle. Bi females? Yippee! Bi males? Hell no! There are those that don't feel that way, but there's certainly a contingent that does.

Frankly, I find it curious (no pun intended) that people worry about the sexual orientation of someone who isn't going to be that way with them. For example, any of the guys in the couples we've played with could be bi. Since Drew's not, perhaps they didn't say and never made a move, but they'd still be bi. Not everyone walks around with preferences and sexual orientation on a name tag when you meet someone offline, so you don't really know.

In any event, I wouldn't lose sleep on being blocked. It may chafe your butt a little, but it's really no biggie. Just like when someone blocks the isle at the grocery store like they're in there by themselves, or someone runs a red light---risking the lives of people who have a green light in the other direction, just shake your head and know there are a**holes in the world and you just found another one. Unfortunately, there's no finders fee awarded.

Pepper

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04-19-2005, 04:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
rntsvo Registered Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9 Location: West Virginia Status: married couple SLS Name:rntwv	Would couples with a bi-male want to play with a couple with a straight male? I was not really sure where to put this or how to title it. My husband and I have been in this lifestyle for about 3 months now. We have had two experiences before we got into the lifestyle, it was with the same person both times. We met up with a couple earlier this month first time. She is bi and so is he. My husband is not bi, he is straight and does not ever want to be touched by another male. We ended up playing together we done a soft swap week after our first meeting. The other guy never did touch my husband, which was good. We hope play with them again sometime in the future. I emailed another couple today just wondering if they would like to talk. They said that there was no connection because of several reasons. The main one because we played with a couple with a bi male. I tried to explain to them that my husband is not bi and is very straight. They ended up blocking us from emailing them anymore. Maybe I should have not said anything but I don't think it is right. My question is, if another couple wanted to chat maybe play later on. They had played with another couple had a bi male would you play with the couple with the straight man, anyways? I hope that made sense.

04-19-2005, 05:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
EvilMJ Pure Evil..In a cute suit Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,497 Location: Nova Scotia Status: Couple	Re: I have a question Just because one couple has a bi - male, I would not assume that the other man was bi as well. There are lots of couples with bi-women and I do not assume that other couples have bi-women. I would not exclude anyone based on the sexual orientaion of a couple they play with. I think you are better off not having played with the couple that blocked you, it appears that have issues and that one could have been the least of them! __________________ "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

04-19-2005, 05:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
rntsvo Registered Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9 Location: West Virginia Status: married couple SLS Name:rntwv	Re: I have a question They knew because they checked out our profile out on site we found them. The couple we played with had certified us. So I guess they checked them out also.

04-19-2005, 05:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
disqreetcouple Active Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 30 Location: Illinois	Re: I have a question Could be several reasons and they obviously aren't comfortable. I think it is because the guy is a complete homophobe. But I could be completely ignorant on this one and it has to do with them being scared of disease. Of course that is based on ignorance too

04-19-2005, 05:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
rntsvo Registered Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9 Location: West Virginia Status: married couple SLS Name:rntwv	Re: I have a question It really don't bother me that they are uncomfortable. Because I can see how they feel in some ways. It is just they blocked us they bugs me. But it really does not matter, more power to them! I believe that if anyone wants to talk to us they have to have some kind of attraction first. Maybe it is also because we have kids and have to arrange meeting people also. I just found it strange that being their main problem with us. I guess their our other people like them out there and nothing we can do about it.

04-19-2005, 06:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
northindycpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,424 Location: Indiana Status: Blissfull SITCOM SLS Name:northindycpl	Re: I have a question To be honest, I am not sure that I would play with a couple knowing they played with a bi-male. Here is why: Many men say they are straight, because of their perception of some sort of stigma associated with being a bi-male. Although, I believe your explaination of events, if I just met you via email and looked at your profile and saw that you played with a bi-male couple, then I would assume your husband is a situationally bi-male (or bi-curious) and I know that would make me uncomfortable. Remember, the other couple doesn't have your information, like we do. I would not have just blocked you, I would have sent you an email stating politely that we weren't interested. I do think it is rude that they just blocked you. But, even is swinging you are going to meet rude people. If this is bothering you, then you can remove the certification (if using SLS) and it won't be an issue again. There are a few posts here that will direct you on getting a certification from SLS, instead of other couples. BTW, we were once told that someone didn't want to play with us because one of the certification couples was fat. To each his own I guess. It is much better to find out they are uncomfortble with it now, before you met them, then later. Welcome to the board, too! I hope you will post more so we can learn more about you and your husband. __________________ Mrs. Indy

04-19-2005, 06:49 PM	#10 (permalink)
rntsvo Registered Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 9 Location: West Virginia Status: married couple SLS Name:rntwv	Re: I have a question Well we found out real reason why they were not interested. It was because to them I am a BBW. To each their own. :rollseyes They could of just said they were not interested instead of what they did say. BTW: Yes we do have a profile on SLS.

04-20-2005, 02:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
Atilla Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 213 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Status: happily married couple SLS Name:Nanuq2005	Re: I have a question It's their loss, I wouldn't worry about it. What they did was rude and you did explain that your hubby is straight. Why, they would be so picky about this is just being plain picky. If I was them, I would've wanted a promise that condoms would be used if we were to play with you. Then all would be good. __________________ Only in Canada you say? Pity.

04-20-2005, 03:28 PM	#13 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,277 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: I have a question Life is to short and the Lifestyle is to much fun to worry about other people that are not an important part of your life think. There is 1000's more out there to have fun with. Go on, enjoy! __________________ Lee Lifestyles News *Remember when Swinging was about having sex?*

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