Single male bothered by touchy husband

webbguy · 01-07-2005, 10:53 AM

I am a single guy that has met and plays with a very nice couple,she loves to fuck , but what bothers me is he always touches me, plays with my balls, ass, I am not really bi but sometimes like to suck cock in a 3some. always I just love to fuck the lady and make her cum. I don't want to lose them , but he just won't let us just totally fuck. While we are fucking , he jacks off and cums on me.She enjoys it , but what can I say to him . Thanks for the advice!

SexhoundDog · 01-07-2005, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webbguy

I am not really bi but sometimes like to suck cock in a 3some.

??? Don't think I can help you with this one, pal. Methinks that since you've sucked his cock, he probably figures it's OK to touch you too

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-07-2005, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexhoundDog

??? Don't think I can help you with this one, pal. Methinks that since you've sucked his cock, he probably figures it's OK to touch you too

I would agree with that. He's the husband he's going to be involved. As much as you say you are not bi, your actions have not shown that. If you want to be involved with this couple then you either continue as you have, or you talk to him and try to explain that you aren't comfortable with him touching you while you are having sex with his wife.

northindycpl · 01-07-2005, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexhoundDog

??? Don't think I can help you with this one, pal. Methinks that since you've sucked his cock, he probably figures it's OK to touch you too

Dito HoundDog. You know they say if you'll suck it, you'll fuck it. Maybe he heard the same thing I did.

Vespertine · 01-07-2005, 12:58 PM

Hey guys... I think we should give some serious thought into our replies to this person's valid question.

If it were a woman complaining that a man didn't respect her wishes, and he was jacking-off on her, we'd be all over this like white on rice. All posters deserve equal respect.

OP, I think you seriously need to reaffirm to this couple that you are not 100% cool with ALL bisexual activity. Tell them what your comfort areas are again and make sure he understands that any male/male activity needs to be vocally addressed with you before he acts on his desires.

If you've found yourself repeating your wishes to this couple, it might be time to move on.

VegasLee · 01-07-2005, 01:02 PM

I am going to have to go along with Vespertine on this one.

Also, just because you agree to do something with someone once it should not be assumed that you desire to do so another time without consent.

WesternSwing · 01-07-2005, 01:21 PM

Dito to Vegas Lee and Verspertine. Tell them what you are comfortable with and what you are not. I'm sure they have boundries of some kind just like you do, and will understand.

Mr. WS

**good times** · 01-07-2005, 01:25 PM

Dito Mr. WS, Vegas Lee and Verspertine, communication is the key.

**TNT** · 01-07-2005, 01:36 PM

Communication between play partners is just as important as communication between a couple.

If you are not comfortable with what is going on, you have to tell them this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by webbguy

I don't want to lose them , but he just won't let us just totally fuck.

I'm not sure I totally understand this statement. Are you just wanting to play with the wife and not have the husband involved in any way? Or, is it okay for the husband to play with the wife while you are playing with her and him just not touching you (normal MFM threesome without bi activity)?

Either way, some rules need to be established. You have just as much right to have your rules as the couple does. If the three of you cannot find a compromise that all are happy with, then it might be time to find another couple to play with.

Teresa

ALilOEverything · 01-07-2005, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webbguy

but what can I say to him

I think the truth is best in situations like this. Otherwise it can lead to confusion and hurt feelings on both your parts. Just tell him what you told us.

SexhoundDog · 01-07-2005, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Hey guys... I think we should give some serious thought into our replies to this person's valid question.

All posters deserve equal respect.

I meant no disrespect to Webbguy's question whatsoever. I simply gave him what I'm guessing the other guy is thinking. The only other thing I could chip in is if you don't like it, tell him. Normally I agree with your comments, Ves, but if the other guy doesn't know he's doing anything that disrespects Webbguy's wishes, he isn't doing anything wrong unless he's a mindreader.

VegasLee · 01-07-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexhoundDog

but if the other guy doesn't know he's doing anything that disrespects Webbguy's wishes, he isn't doing anything wrong unless he's a mindreader.

I was always under the impression in this lifestyle that you ASK Before you ACT. No mind reading required.

Vespertine · 01-07-2005, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexhoundDog

... but if the other guy doesn't know he's doing anything that disrespects Webbguy's wishes, he isn't doing anything wrong unless he's a mindreader.

Good point, SexhoundDog. I sort of assumed that webguy made his wishes known to the guy, but you're absolutely right- in his post, he doesn't say if he did or not.

So webguy, have you made your desires known to the husband yet? Are you just looking for a good way to approach the topic with him without hurting his feelings or is he just not respecting your wishes.

I think the advice would vary depending on your answer.

lovefest04 · 01-07-2005, 02:55 PM

It sounds to me that your looking to have your cake and eat it too.

I'd have a nice specific conversation about their needs, wants and desires. Then you can determine if you're willing to satisfy them.

In our MFM encounters, we feel (the couple) that we are sort of setting the direction. We are very upfront with what we want and expect, but it is clearly our place to set the game plan and our partnrs place to participate or not. I know this sounds a bit selfish, but we are swinging for ourselves and we invite others to join us. We will also, however, entertain additional requests from our partners. So, then we build upon our game plan.

Back to your problem. I think you want to keep fucking this women, but don't want to play their game. I suggest you prepare yourself to move on. Also, don't fake it. If they like a little bi stuff then don't try to fake your willingness just so you can continue to bang his wife.

S

SexhoundDog · 01-07-2005, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VegasLee

I was always under the impression in this lifestyle that you ASK Before you ACT. No mind reading required.

You may have a point there, BUT . . let's put the shoe on the other foot. Do you think Webbguy asked first if he could go down on the other fella? I'm personally not bi or gay, but I'd sure as hell think if some guy sucked my cock that he probably wouldn't mind if I were a bit feely with him.

Where are ya, Webbguy? Tell us what happened?

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01-07-2005, 10:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
webbguy Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 144 Location: athens,tennessee Status: would love to meet new friends	Single male bothered by touchy husband I am a single guy that has met and plays with a very nice couple,she loves to fuck , but what bothers me is he always touches me, plays with my balls, ass, I am not really bi but sometimes like to suck cock in a 3some. always I just love to fuck the lady and make her cum. I don't want to lose them , but he just won't let us just totally fuck. While we are fucking , he jacks off and cums on me.She enjoys it , but what can I say to him . Thanks for the advice!

01-07-2005, 12:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
Vespertine Retired Mod Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,688 Location: Shangri La Status: Happily Married	Re: bothered by hubby Hey guys... I think we should give some serious thought into our replies to this person's valid question. If it were a woman complaining that a man didn't respect her wishes, and he was jacking-off on her, we'd be all over this like white on rice. All posters deserve equal respect. OP, I think you seriously need to reaffirm to this couple that you are not 100% cool with ALL bisexual activity. Tell them what your comfort areas are again and make sure he understands that any male/male activity needs to be vocally addressed with you before he acts on his desires. If you've found yourself repeating your wishes to this couple, it might be time to move on. __________________ Ves The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

01-07-2005, 01:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,333 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: bothered by hubby I am going to have to go along with Vespertine on this one. Also, just because you agree to do something with someone once it should not be assumed that you desire to do so another time without consent. __________________ Lee Lifestyles News *Remember when Swinging was about having sex?*

01-07-2005, 01:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,913 Location: Utah Status: Male half of married couple	Re: bothered by hubby Dito to Vegas Lee and Verspertine. Tell them what you are comfortable with and what you are not. I'm sure they have boundries of some kind just like you do, and will understand. Mr. WS __________________ "God created sex. Priests created marriage." ~ Voltaire

01-07-2005, 01:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,634 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: bothered by hubby Dito Mr. WS, Vegas Lee and Verspertine, communication is the key. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

01-07-2005, 02:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
lovefest04 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 155 Location: Northern California	Re: bothered by hubby It sounds to me that your looking to have your cake and eat it too. I'd have a nice specific conversation about their needs, wants and desires. Then you can determine if you're willing to satisfy them. In our MFM encounters, we feel (the couple) that we are sort of setting the direction. We are very upfront with what we want and expect, but it is clearly our place to set the game plan and our partnrs place to participate or not. I know this sounds a bit selfish, but we are swinging for ourselves and we invite others to join us. We will also, however, entertain additional requests from our partners. So, then we build upon our game plan. Back to your problem. I think you want to keep fucking this women, but don't want to play their game. I suggest you prepare yourself to move on. Also, don't fake it. If they like a little bi stuff then don't try to fake your willingness just so you can continue to bang his wife. S

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