Bi guys - hot or not?

[TNT]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

There are several posts here that state in one way or another "I would lose all respect for my man if I found out he was bi."

I ask, "why?" Why would you lose all respect for him?

Mr. WS

Got to Dito this as well...what the hell does a man's sexual preference have to do with who he is as a person ?


Teresa

[Tia Vampire]

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why i'll lose respect for my man.If men were able to have babies,the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor.Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you.It might just be me, but i don't understand the logic in it.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why i'll lose respect for my man.If men were able to have babies,the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor.Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you.It might just be me, but i don't understand the logic in it.

Not to argue with, or pick-on you, but so far you are the only one that has offered any answer to this question.

Your answer is assumes bi-play between men has to do with intercourse rather then just oral or other activities (bi sex with women usually only includes oral and other activities). So this still doesn't answer the question: why would a man being bi cause you to lose respect for him?

And as a follow-up question to continue the discussion: what does this loss of respect encompass?

I guess I'm looking for an answer beyond the emotional knee-jerk reaction. I'm looking for the intellectual answer.

Mr. WS

[northgacpl]

I had similar experiences growing up. With male friends as teenagers and earlier, 'pleasuring each other'. Mainly just sucking or jerking each other off, while sneaking dad's Playboy's or whatever, no kissing, touching, penetration, or anything like that. But around 14 that stopped.

Fast forward several years later. Wife and I had a pretty wild time w/a friend of ours. We had had 1 swingning experience previousely, a few years before. We were staying w/this friend while we found a new home, we stayed there for almost 2 months. After a few weeks there we were drinking and having fun one night. Well one thing led to another and we all ended up in his bedroom, and had a threesome. This continues, almost EVERY night. And it just got better, one night we were fucking for like 4hrs.

Anyway after the first couple times, we all relaxed quite a bit more. I was on top of my wife, and he was lying next to her kissing her, sucking her tits, and I kept feeling his cock rubbing against my hand. So I thought he was trying to give me a hint. I started stroking him. So the next couple times we were doing this to each other. She caught on and it was turning her on. So one night one thing led to another and we went down on each other while she watched. Then we actually ended up taking it further and went all the way. She really got off on it. I would've never thought in a million years she would get turned on by that, but she did.

Now fast forward again, and our marriage is in the toilet (not because of this), and I'm kinda wanting to try it again, w/another guy. But in no way could I ever imagine wanting a guy over a woman, or doing anything "affectionate" w/a guy.

[Concupiscence]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why i'll lose respect for my man.If men were able to have babies,the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor.Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you.It might just be me, but i don't understand the logic in it.

This is such an astoundingly hilarious stereotype...IF men were physiologically and anatomically built to bear children then OF COURSE they would be able to bear the pain of childbirth. Plus your assumption that men as a gender cannot bear a finite amount of excruciating pain is both disrespectful to those who deal with it on a daily basis and has nothing to do with their sexuality or whether they deserve respect as a person. If you are saying that bisexual men are unworthy of respect, I would have to ask you to logically explain the connection between their sexuality and how they conduct themselves and live their lives.

You initially state that you would lose respect for YOUR man, which is your own personal issue and I have no quarrel with but then to base that lack of respect on an completely irrelevant and irrational stereotype is appalling, especially when you are accusing ALL men of this supposed flaw.

[prettylady]

I was surprised and a little disappointed to see the disrespect comments from some of the people here. In a group like this were sex is for fun, and do what makes you happy kind of lifestyle, I was shocked to see such close mindedness about bi sexuality in men. I admit, I do not find it a turn on at all. But if Dog came to me and said he was interested in giving it a go. I would support him completly. I may not enjoy it, but he has to explore his disires as do we as women. I am not bi or bi courious but Dog is willing to support me if I would like to try it. Why should he not be given the same?
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Tia Vampire]

I was answering Mr.Westerswing on why i would lose respect for my man because he called me out.If I offened anyone in anyway, I did'nt mean to.I was just answering a question that he asked,and thought that i made it clear that i did'nt mean any disrespect in any way.Just like your entitled to your opinion,I'm entitled to mine.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

I was answering Mr.Westerswing on why i would lose respect for my man because he called me out.If I offened anyone in anyway, I did'nt mean to.I was just answering a question that he asked,and thought that i made it clear that i did'nt mean any disrespect in any way.Just like your entitled to your opinion,I'm entitled to mine.

I think the people here thought you would lose respect for your man if HE was saying He was bi courious not you.
I think we have misunderstood your post.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Dooode]

Well personally, I've lived a hetero life for 37 years, and have been a practicing bisexual for 9 years. Strictly talking Kensey Scale, I'm split right down the middle as a "3". In practice, there's nothing I wouldn't do with an attractive man that I wouldn't also do with an attractive woman .. although spiritually, I lean toward the woman as a life mate.

Hot or not? Who cares. I'm happy and that's what counts.

I do run into some prejudism and ignorance in swing society tho. Some people confuse bisexuality with being gay and that irks me. They are NOT the same.

In some ways, being a bisexual male is kinda like being between a rock and a hard place in today's world. I go chat to heteros and they say "you have sex with guys?!?? Eww!". I go chat with gays and they say "you have sex with women?!??" Eww!". My only consolation is that there are enough bicouples in the area that I usually can stay pretty busy and not have to think about it too much.

My dream wife would be the one who accepts me for who I am. Unfortunately, all the women that do are currently married!

At least that doesn't mean I can't have sex with them. God bless swingers!

haha

[ForwardWife]

Decidedly Hot. I (the wife) discovered I was bi in my late 20's and had a really good time exploring that. I was also a "fag hag" so was always intrigued by the "act" betwen men.
Then 5 years ago I met my hubby and I believe he's a closet Bi. Similar experiences in his youth and enjoys my playing around down there.
We recently met a couple who are both Bi and hubby shied away at first but now that we have met them, he's changed his tune. I am sooooo looking forward to a night with this pair. facelick Talk about hot...
I'll let you know how it goes.

[WesternSwing]

It's been seven days now and this thread seems to have died down. Although someone could simply say "between men, bi play is not a turn-on for me" and leave it at that, nobody has been able to defend the comments made by some that finding out their husband or boyfriend was bi would cause them to lose all respect for them. I am assuming then that such comments were made as emotional knee-jerk reactions and not as intellectual, rational, well thought-out, and supportable opinions and or facts.

I hope this shows that as TNT and a couple others have echo'd, sexual preferences has nothing to do in the big picture of who someone is as a person.

Mr. WS

[Concupiscence]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

I hope this shows that as TNT and a couple others have echo'd, sexual preferences has nothing to do in the big picture of who someone is as a person.

Mr. WS

As long as I can caveat that statement with the limit that those sexual preferences are taking place between two consenting legally recognized adult homo sapiens. I have played Devil's Advocate countless times on this topic but I do, honestly, believe that the majority rule is the correct one in this case.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

It's been seven days now and this thread seems to have died down. Although someone could simply say "between men, bi play is not a turn-on for me" and leave it at that, nobody has been able to defend the comments made by some that finding out their husband or boyfriend was bi would cause them to lose all respect for them. I am assuming then that such comments were made as emotional knee-jerk reactions and not as intellectual, rational, well thought-out, and supportable opinions and or facts.

I hope this shows that as TNT and a couple others have echo'd, sexual preferences has nothing to do in the big picture of who someone is as a person.

Mr. WS

This seems like PCing the thread a bit to me. Gay and as a subset 'bi' rights are fine and good, but if you found out your spouse liked to have sex with say animals/house plants, it would be accepted that you would lose 'respect' for them. For the most part beastiality doesn't harm the animals involved so no one is getting 'hurt' and they still might be good people right? Now this argument always inflames the gay community, how dare you compare beastiality to homosexuality, but when it comes to your own spouse its not so different. Now I have no problem with Mrs. Chicup being mildly bi. Shes always been, and I've encouraged it ( ). At the same time that she is bi, she is totally turned off by MM play of ANY kind. It grosses her out the same way that most people are grossed out by beastiality. It doesn't make it wrong, but its not something she is in the least bit into. Now lets pretend I was bi, I know she would lose 'respect' for me. In this case respect doesn't mean I am a bad person now, but of the things she admires in me and makes me the ideal husband for her, I would take a major hit. I would be far less desireable as a mate in her eyes. It would be an undesireable trait. I don't see this line of thinking as wrong at all.

[Concupiscence]

Originally Posted by Chicup

... In this case respect doesn't mean I am a bad person now, but of the things she admires in me and makes me the ideal husband for her, I would take a major hit. I would be far less desireable as a mate in her eyes. It would be an undesireable trait. I don't see this line of thinking as wrong at all.

Chicup,

What you are talking about is something different than whether or not male bisexuality is enough to lose respect for a person. An individual who 'suddenly' decides they are bisexual after they are married and wishes to pursue that is something completely different. I would say that a swinger couple, dealing with this issue, puts it into completely different territory. We are debating an ethical issue, is male bisexuality unethical? People don't lose respect over "undesireable traits" they lose it because they have gambling problems or are drunks or cheat on taxes NOT because they don't put the toilet seat down after using it or leave all the lights on in the house.

I am making an assumption here but Mrs.Chicup would probably lose respect for you because you had not been honest about that attraction, if you had been hiding it all this time. It isn't being PC, Tia Vampire actually DID put it on the table...is male bisexuality an ethical issue? For her it is and she stated it to be so without hesitation. If it is for you guys, then so be it, but that does not make the OPs question or the turn of the thread politically correct.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Concupiscence

I am making an assumption here but Mrs.Chicup would probably lose respect for you because you had not been honest about that attraction, if you had been hiding it all this time.

I'd say that's a fair assumption.

A couple doesn't suddenly fall "out of respect" for each other because everything's honky-dory to begin with. If one or the other haven't been communicating their desires from day one, there's no way for the other to adjust comfortably to their growth as a couple. To do so suddenly is FORCING his views on her and of course, she's going to lose respect and trust.

I am frequently contacted by guys who want to experiment behind their wives backs because "my wife wouldn't understand". I recognize THAT as being disrespectful. And I also recognize that the marriage has problems because of this dishonesty and for that reason, I won't touch 'em.

Originally Posted by Chicup

how dare you compare beastiality to homosexuality, but when it comes to your own spouse its not so different.

I'm sorry but get a grip. Sex between two conscenting human adults is NOT a comparable magnitude as having sex with animals--who are not capable of giving conscious conscent or recognizing a bonding relationship between humans.

I think that was an incredibly poor analogy.