How to be more assertive at club or in the bedroom?

[WA_Cple]

Sorry Fun - I meant that in the best way - didn't mean to offend you!!


Mrs WA

[EternallySingle]

Originally posted by mrs good times
Thanks for the responses everyone. Fun pair, I like the way you think. Eternally Single, I do interact with men in a sports related area frequently but I feel out of my eliment when it comes to this issue. I see what others do but I cannot seem to figure out when or if the time is right. By the time I analyze the shit out of it it's too late.

I understand completely. I was 20 before I stopped trying to analyze what I thought were sexual signals from women and started swallowing my pride, locking my ego in the closet, and taking a chance and acting on them.

I was also 20 when I met the woman who introduced me to swinging. I wonder if the two have anything in common?

I mentioned the team sports thing because, when playing sports everyone benefits when one person takes that chance and does something risky. Of course, everyone could lose too, but you never make the team or the winning goal/basket/hit/pitch/catch/whatever if you don't take the chance at failing.

[yawanna]

I can empathize mrs good times. I once attended a dinner party with swingers where things COULD have happened...but didn't. Afterward, the host and I were talking it over and it hit him like a bolt of lightening...everyone there was a non-instigator! No one wanted to be the first.

I can recall one evening when we were invited back to a hotel room with a few other couples, and one guy and I had been messing around pretty hot and heavy just beforehand. When we got to the room, everyone took a seat and we all had another drink. Now, I know that had I gone over to this guy and continued on, that would have got the ball rolling, so to speak. I also didn't want to be the centre of attention for any amount of time, and I suspected that at least one other couple were going to watch only. I didn't want to be the floor show if even for a few minutes.

In hindsight, perhaps the expectation was that this guy and I WOULD be the floor show, or the instigators, and maybe I let everyone down by not being more aggressive. I can only be who I am, though, and I'm much more comfortable joining in after someone else sets the pace

Now, if this guy had come over to me and kissed me or unbuttoned my shirt or something, I would have jumped right in

[fun_pairTX]

Mrs WA,

We weren't offended in the least, crazy is the best thing we been called so far this week !!

Hee hee

[mrs good times]

Eternally Single,

I thought some more about your post last night and I came to some interesting conclusion.

I spend alot of time with men. Although the time is not in play. The sport I compete in I am a direct competitor to the men not in a team situation. In fact I am generally the only women competing. My job is also a consideration as I am one of only 7 females in a company of 62 employees and I am the only female manager.

I am used to telling men what to do or directly competing with them not asking them to please me or enjoying their company in a team situation. In both situations I have to play down my sexuality in order to be taken seriously.

Perhaps a little to psyco analytical again.

[fun_pairTX]

Originally posted by mrs good times
The sport I compete in I am a direct competitor to the men not in a team situation. In fact I am generally the only women competing.

Are we talkin bout dwarf tossin here?

[Mich149]

I love seeing posts like this. Not because I have anything useful to add. But because I am so not like my real self when it comes to pursuing sex with others. I am normally a quite agressive person socially and sexually with hubby. Nut put extra people in the mix and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm trying to get better, but I know that if I was in a room and someone announced "let the fucking commence", that once I recovered from my hysterical laughter, I would be completely relaxed.

I usually stand and raise one hand ceremoniously and proclaim: "let the fucking commence!"

THAT IS AWESOME!! I love it!! That's my kind of guy!!

[good times]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Are we talkin bout dwarf tossin here?

No, thats not exactly what she does, but it sounds like it might be fun to watch.

The sport she is referring to is much less physically demanding than a sport like dwarf tossing, and not as fast paced as something like lawn mower racing, but we are both very good at it.

Now, if I could just talk her into trying out for nude jellow wrestling.