Who makes the first move in swinging and how?

[curious24]

So I was thinking tonight how do you all make the first move and how? Say you are out with another couple and you go back to some place to play how do things get started? does everyone just jump right to it and strip down? is there foreplay involved?

i'm assuming it's different for first timers vs long timers.. so i'm really interested in knowing who makes the first move? is it the women or the men? how do you make the first move? just jump the person or make a more slow sly move?

[bear_n_bunny]

I'd like to know the answer as well. I've asked experienced swingers and to sum up thier answer "it's different." Now I'm new to the lifestyle so everyone is waiting for me to be ready. Last weekend I was indeed interested in getting started playing but no one brought it up and I didn't want to breach unspoken swinger ettiquet. (Really, I was just too darn shy to make the first move.) Any way, I'd love to hear what you guys have to say.

-- Bunny

[EternallySingle]

I never make the first move unless its with a single female who is doing the coy eye contact thing or "accidentally" brushing her breasts against my arm thing. In any other situation, I casually mention that I'm either there to talk or there to play in the conversation and keep my eyes open to what everyone else, especially the women, do. It is up to everyone to make their intentions known so noone has to make a first move.

[aviancpl]

Go here:

http://store.themood.com/browse.cfm/4,522.html

and order yourself a pair of the "dirty dice." They're a great icebreaker when you know there's mutual interest but nobody seems to want to move first. There are other variations on this (games like nooki, between the sheets, etc) if you're the type that wants to play for an hour before the clothes start coming off. We like the dice though, because they're simple, provide instant gratification (not the bad kind and are portable (you can take them to your local club).

[couple5251]

I have never seen those before, But looks like a must have item to us. It sounds like a lot of fun and would be a great way to get things started.facelick

[BiloxiCouple]

For us it's whoever gets naked first makes the first move.

Once you get to the hotel or the house, you know what you are there for!!!!

Hopefully any questions have been answered before you get to this point. No means no even here.

First timers -vs- long timers? You still know how to do IT So just do it

[WildFlower]

The dirty dice game is good so are some adult version board games. I played one not to long ago I really liked where played cards kind of like poker and who won the round picked a card then picked a player to do the things written on the card. Got steamy real fast. Soon forget about card game and just let nature take its course.

[sweetcpl1]

Basically it depends on the crowd or the party you attended.
Every party/club/crowd is different for the level of soft or hard core swinging and most of the time you can recognize the situation as you attend the party or the play area.
Pretty much we are mature enough to decide if we like to just jump in, or still need more foreplay to warm up.
Then again most of the time it’s better for female partners break the ice with some soft foreplay and get the guys involved.

Hope this helped,

Ray and Christina

[Tncuple]

The first time we went to a swing party was just to look around and get a feel of things. We sat at a table and nursed a couple of drinks and finally got up to dance a little. It seemed everyone there already knew each other and we felt a little left out. We didnt even think anyone noticed us. After a while I got up to go to the john and 2 guys followed me in there. Both guys were interested in meeting us and introducing their wives to us. These were 2 separate couples that didnt know each other. They both said that since we were sitting by ourselves they didnt know if we were just voyeurs or were there to actually make contact with other couples.
I guess if you do want to play you have to act like it .
Once we finally did meet a couple we wanted to play with we went to their house (after meeting at a restaurant first) ,we all knew what we were there for so as soon as the woman came over and sat on my lap it was full speed ahead.
Tncuple

[coolwetbreeze]

This is a great question...
I've noticed that every time we've gotten together with someone after we wind up at the house, hotel or where ever , that we will sit around and talk until the cows come home if I didn't finally just get up and say soooo...Lets do this as I walk away taking my shirt off.
That usually get's everyone moving.
He would prefer i go into the room and change into something slutty, come back into the living room and lay on the coffee table spread eagle. I figure this would only work with single men and we don't do the single guy thing too often.
We've never tried any games. Each situation is different and if you are comfortable enough to go rub up against the other guy or girl I say go for it. My preference is to start with my guy and then reach out to the other(s).
I'm sure in most situations the women are the ones that need to start things moving.

[Vjklander]

I think the erotic dice are a great way to start, have used them many times. If at a house, I think the host should take the responsibility to get things started. Well, geez, I guess it all depends ....
J

[thump29]

We usually start out with a erotic board game or a game of strip poker but usually it has been already decided that we are going to play before we do. I usually get things started myself, but it just depends on the situation at the time.

[austxmark]

Well, in my usual forthright way we ask. When we are all out somewhere and decide to go back to the hotel or our place or whereever, when we get to the place and are all sitting around wondering whos gonna start, I ask the other cpl a question. I say ok..are you guys interested in playing? The answer is, of course, yes..after all we know why we are all there. So I get up and take the other ladies hand and pull her toward me and kiss her..after that its all easy.