Menopause and sex drive

[De and Ci]

Diehard,
Just curious, you said her biology changed, What was it? Did she hit menopause. I'm asking cause my wife had her ovaries and uterus removed about 3 months ago and she is now in menopause. We started having sex about a month ago and her sex drive is still high and she still squirts but I'm still concerned. She is taking hormones. Does anybody know when a women reaches menopause, if her sex drive dies-how long does it take?

[IndyGirl2004]

My sister is in her mid-forties. She had a hysterectomy almost two years ago. She just recently got remarried after being single again for over fifteen years. We don't talk about sex that much (we were raised by parents who pretended that they just happened to "find" us one day lol), but from what I understand, they're having a grand old time and her engine is still firing on all cylinders. She needs an oil and a lube now and again, but all seems pretty well. The fact that I can't reach her much later at night anymore kind of tells me something.

Don't be too concerned about your wife yet. Maybe she will sense it and it will make her tense. Just a thought. The more you purrrrrrrr the more she might purrrrrrrrr back.

As far as her sex drive just dying and all. I've heard that for some women, it's like it's a brand new chapter sexually and that some are really very sexually active as if they've found a new kind of freedom. Has anyone else heard that?

Good luck and enjoy!

[yawanna]

I've done some research...... Only 20 percent of women reported a significant decline in sexual interest after menopause.

From what I've read....after the hotflashes, nausea, etc. subside...it's all fun and games from there! If women 'go with it', it's a fairly freeing, liberating change of life

My mother went through it at age 35 which is young, and she did HRT. I'm going through it young as well, and I'm going the naturopathic route. The only thing stopping me sometimes from feeling sexy is feeling nauseaus, hot, then freezing, then sick, heartburn, and going through it all over again 2 hours later

Outside of the times my body is playing flip the hormones...which is less often now....this can take 4 years to complete.... I'm my usual horny self

[BradAndJanet]

I split this out into its own thread because I think it's a worthy topic to discuss (I've the feeling we have before, but there are plenty of new people here now. )

J's going through the night-sweats and hot-flashes again at the moment. I can't answer as to what her libido will be like when she's through with all this, but I can tell you she doesn't have much of one right now. I can't say I blame her, either...

-B

[lovers]

I've (being the male half here) been with a couple of women who have been through "the change" and in their cases, they become wild women! I think that because they don't have to worry about getting pregnant, they can just go and have fun.

[wrnakedru]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet J's going through the night-sweats and hot-flashes again at the moment. I can't answer as to what her libido will be like when she's through with all this, but I can tell you she doesn't have much of one right now. I can't say I blame her, either...-B

I might hesitate to be nosey here - but since you addressed this, I figured that means you don't have a problem with discussing it. First of all, why have you utilized the word 'again'?

And secondly, since I don't know and won't know the history behind it - I was curious as to her choice against HRT - which is, I presume, the cause of the night sweats, hot flashes and decline of libido.

We have two friends going through similar symptoms. One has decided against HRT due to her sister's death from breast cancer a year and a half ago. [a curious thought process when you take into consideration that our friend smokes and gives no thought to discontinuing that].

Another friend has huge fibroid tumors which can now be discerned through her skin, through her clothes - and give her the appearance of pregnancy. She has several other manifestations of female problems as well - and yet continues to be resistant to the thought of hysterectomy. [I think the physiological distress is in fact impacting her thought processes as well] She is fearful without all the female parts she came into the world with, she will somehow be "less than a woman".

I can't really understand or figure out their choice - and why - but perhaps with your assistance, I can at least understand what J is going through and why.

Thanks -
wrnakedru

P.S. If, despite your post, this is none of my damned business, please do not hesitate to say so. I'll understand ... really.

[Elusive BiFem]

Any woman that has a decreased sex drive following hysterectomy (with removal of ovaries) and/or menopause needs to see her physician.

There are several hormone replacement products that do not replace certain hormones and therefore, have a very negative effect on a woman's sex drive. Essentially, leaving her with zero sex drive (as long as all other factors are in place). This can be easily remedied with a change of medication. I can't recall exactly, but some contain just estrogen while others contain a combo of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. I think. Don't hold me to that.

The main point is that females should be able to maintain their sex drive and if they don't, a visit and a candid discussion with their gynecologist is definitely in order.

The other thing to consider is body image changes. With menopause and hysterectomy, most of us start getting fat pads here and there that we've never had before - making us feel less desirable. That can lead to a decrease in the sex drive as well as some depression. That is just another thing to consider.

Hormone replacement therapy has gotten some really bad press recently but you know...I think quality of life is really important, too. And with good medical care and careful monitoring, I honestly believe both can be achieved.

My thoughts...EBF

[wrnakedru]

I believe the medication you're referring to is the one I take. It is called Estratest and as the name implies, it does contain testosterone.

My doctor and I decided to switch me from the HRT I was previously taking because of diminishing libido. The testosterone is the item that has addressed and improved that factor. And yes, for me the "quality of life" was certainly a major consideration.

I am wondering if others on HRT experienced this same drop in their libido and what they may have done to counteract the problem.

A part of my decision to remain on HRT, albeit a different one, was impacted by the fact I would go through all the icky miserable side effects of "the change" if I were to elect to quit taking it.

Just the short term exposure to that existence, prior to getting on HRT, was enough to dissuade me from living that way. Is there a finite period of time those problems manifest themselves?And what exactly is there at that point?

Maybe that answer is different for everyone - but I sure would be interested in hearing from those who know.

[yawanna]

This is one of the better sites I read..better for me because it was suggested I not do HRT - a family history of stroke and high blood pressure - and I prefer natural remedies whenever possible.

http://www.menopause-metamorphosis.com/

hot flashes, night sweats, all of it is due to your body adjusting the hormone levels in preparation for the end of menses. So yes... the symptoms come and go. And can stop for days and then start back up again.

Basically...the body is doing what it needs to do....we're just along for the ride

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by yawanna

Basically...the body is doing what it needs to do....we're just along for the ride

But why ride in a Yugo when you can ride in a Lexus?

Seriously...it's an individual decision and one which should be reached in conjunction with your health care provider, but for many of us, HRT is worth some risk. Some women suffer more significant symptoms than others - based on their weight (fat holds estrogen), family history, etc. Also, when a woman "eases" into menopause the natural way - a decline in ovarian function over a period of time - it is easier than it is for those that are suddenly thrown into a surgical menopause (removal of ovaries). That is like being hit up side the head with a 2 X 4.

Another thing...pure vanity. Lack of estrogen results in early and/or extra wrinkling. That is bad enough WITH estrogen. Without it? I can just imagine.

Finally...I guarantee...nobody on earth - including my dogs - would like me.

- EBF

[yawanna]

But why ride in a Yugo when you can ride in a Lexus?

Absolutely It can be a lot of trouble finding the right GP and the right combination of meds to make it less bumpy, but it's worth it in the long run.

I guess I meant it more in the way of saying we can only be patient and elicit the help of professionals. We have NO control over that it is happening, we can though minimize the severity.

I would read to Mr all the information I was getting and learning about it, and he did a lot of 'aaaaah!! that's what that is!'. On one site, it talked about how some men don't get it or understand it. I take Mr with me to some of my medical appointments so he knows as much as I do about all this.

[BradAndJanet]

Well, I figured this thread would get a lot of play.

wrnakedru, I said, "again" because she'd gone through that before, was on HRT for a while and it worked well until she had some irregular bleeding, stopped the HRT and finally had an RF ablation. She hasn't seemed to need anything up to now and we're just being careful. Since it helped before, I would not be surprised to see her back on it. She has no problematic family history but she is a smoker, which adds a slight risk.

She's also having a rough time at work and is getting started on finding a new job. She'll be fine as soon as she does, like always.

-B

[De and Ci]

Thanks everybody for the info. I feel a lot better now