Using a Strap-on, on your man

[music2man]

My question is how would you feel if your man asked you to use a strap-on dildo on him.

My wife and I have good sex and it seems to be getting better with age, we are in our 40's . I have always enjoyed anal stimulation and she sometimes she will insert a finger or two into my rectun while giving me oral sex and this drives me out of my mind.
She is not into anal sex (we tryed a coulpe of times) and I respect her wishes and would not push anything that she is not comfortable with but I really can't stop thinking about a women using a strap-on dildo on me. I am not Bi, just that area has alot of feeling for me and I am afraid if I would ask her to do this she will think I am over the edge. I hope to experience this form of sex play sometime soon. I am open to suggestions.

[mrbandsatl]

The first time I asked her to do that she was reluctant to say the least. After a while, she opened up to the idea. Our first attempt was comical - she developed a new appreciation for the male anatomy! Now, we do it occasionally and have a great time when we do.

[saywhenillwait]

Welcome by the way!

I have brought the topic up to my wife. She hasn't said yes, but she hasn't said no either. She has used her vibrator on me a few times, and it drives me crazy! Im still hoping she says yes to the whole strap on thing eventually!

[nwazscore]

Well... I've mentioned to my SO a few times that I'd like to use a strap-on with him. He's not so certain he's ready for that yet, although I have played with him anally with a vibrator toy and my fingers. He really seems to enjoy that, and I believe that's making him more curious to try a little more. It turns me on very much as well.

[NightGoddess]

First of all, music2man, I think it's great that you can communicate your desires so openly with your wife. If you've been following the topics here about anal sex, you can see it's pretty divided about how people feel about it. Some like it, some don't.

It sounds like you've both worked up to the idea (at least) of some more exploration with anal stimulation. She knows you enjoy it, and she is happy to do what makes you feel wonderful.
You might want to consider trying a small dildo before a strap-on. If my partner wanted me to pleasure him with a strap-on, I'd say yes....but would want to try out using a small toy first, so I could learn what and how to pleasure him.

I don't think your question or desire is over the edge at all! The prostate is very sensitive, and most men seem to welcome some form of anal stimulation.

Now personally, this is something I need to work on: perhaps I was raised with a strict attitude about the rectum being unclean...or whatever. It is just something I have a difficult time accepting. So for me, I don't do anal sex. However, if my lover wanted me to try something where he received.....I'd ask for his guidance, as it's terra incognita for me.
I'd worry about my nails injuring him....etc. and I think I need to just let go of some old 'conditioning' as far as believing it is unclean...and therefore not a good thing to share. What's really important to me is pleasuring my partner. He gives me tremendous pleasure...most enthusiastically and lovingly....so it's only fair I be open to try out what will send him over the moon.

[music2man]

I think I am not alone from the replys except for bobandsandy (way to Go)

nwazscor, you said this would turns you on, the women would not be stimulated duing this sex act so it the turn on due to being in control. I know if I am giving my partner great pleasure I can almost cum with out much stimulation. Sometimes it is in giving that we receive.

NightGoddess brought up some very important point about the whole anal sex thing. I agree most people have a negitive attutide about anal sex. This could largely be due because that part of the body is thought to be unclean. At the same time it can be a big turn on ( like children doing something bad and getting away with it)

The point about being clean is of the most importance. I know I do not want to be subconscious during sex if my partner does stimulate my ass, when she pulls out ,things are a different color, Big turn off for her and me. One of the most important things to keep in mind is to prepare for anal sex by cleansing the colon. Adminstrating a warm cleansing enema to you partner can be a form of forplay and there are some good health benefits about a occasional cleansing of the colon, and the warm water will help you relax for easier penetration. soapbox

[gsu22]

I've always wanted to see what a strap-on felt like with my past girlfriends but they weren't too interested in trying

One of them even said: "What are you, gay"? I said no, I just wanted to experiment and try new things. She gave me a weird look like I was crazy.

[NightGoddess]

Originally posted by gsu22
I've always wanted to see what a strap-on felt like with my past girlfriends but they weren't too interested in trying

One of them even said: "What are you, gay"? I said no, I just wanted to experiment and try new things. She gave me a weird look like I was crazy.

-- Too bad the girlfriends didn't see the opportunity for trying something new and go for it.....however, as my partner says, "Isn't getting older great?!".....we leave behind those old ways of thinking and being....and enjoy. Hope you get your fantasy, gentlemen

Oh, and thanks for the info about cleansing before playing....makes sense to me, and explains how the situation gets changed from a 'dirty' venue.....to 'clean'....if that makes sense! (lol)

Very informative thread!

[ga_cpl_frknit]

Although we haven't used a strap on for her, we do enjoy using a double dong in the same fashion. It is also GREAT for doing it "Lesbian Style"..... what a trip

Stacey & Tracy

[4Beauty2C]

I think I would to a double take to my husband if he wanted me to use a strap on with him. I thinks that would be so erotic to see and of course do. But of course he has is boundries when it comes to what he wants stimulating him. I have been using my fingers in his anal area. But is it strange, with the other spouse/hub that I have been with , they would have loved to have a small vibrator. How can you convince your own hub on how stimulating it is for me to watch him get pleasure in any way..?

Does anyone have any ideas?

[sdexcalibur]

After a few drink with my wife she decides to try anal sitmulation with me, Maybe that's why we were drinking first, Anyway I loved it, We talked about a strap on and one day she came Home with one. We've used it a couple of times and it is great,

I think this whole subject with a male and his anus is such a taboo subject (in some circles), My wife does house parties that sells adult novilities, And the amount of anal toys that are bought for the males are incredible. It happens all the time but nobody want to admit it.

[Monolith]

(wife)
haha... interesting.. it was me who approached my husband about doing him with a strap on..
I dont know why but I can see me in some sexy thigh highs.. and giving it to him good


he has been receptive to it but we are working out way up there.. starting slow
I never really had a bad attitude about it being dirty... I just make sure that we are both clean before we go into anal play.
~Luxuria

[JC2you]

My boyfriend asked me to try a strap on on him and I said "sure." He went out and purchased one with a very small dildo. He LOVES it and I love giving him that pleasure! (Sometimes I think anal stimulation is the best way for him to come. Any other straight guys out there like that?)

One night, we even acted out a fantasy and he surprised me by going down and giving my strap-on head! He asked me if this turned me on and I said, "yes", but to be honest, it freaked me out a little. (Although I found it very intesting how he would give a blow job. I learned a few things that night!)

You think I have anything to worry about? He just gets into the darn strap-on too much! Is going down on over the top? Jury still out for me on that one.

Any thoughts?

[sdexcalibur]

You have to deceide what's over the top for you, Something that might be outlandish and crazy to you might be the norm for someone else.

I've done the blow job to a strap on before, but then again my wife says she want to see me with another guy ( hasn't happened yet), So it was a big turn on for her,

Maybe it was something he always wanted to try and you having a strap on let him experiance his fanatise without really doing it,

Communication is the key in this and any sistuation, Would you have a problem if he was into oral with a guy?

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by JC2you
My boyfriend asked me to try a strap on on him and I said "sure." He went out and purchased one with a very small dildo. He LOVES it and I love giving him that pleasure! (Sometimes I think anal stimulation is the best way for him to come. Any other straight guys out there like that?)

One night, we even acted out a fantasy and he surprised me by going down and giving my strap-on head! He asked me if this turned me on and I said, "yes", but to be honest, it freaked me out a little. (Although I found it very intesting how he would give a blow job. I learned a few things that night!)

You think I have anything to worry about? He just gets into the darn strap-on too much! Is going down on over the top? Jury still out for me on that one.

Any thoughts?

Ok, with regards to you using the strap-on on him, there appear to be no real problems, since you admit that he "LOVES" it, and you enjoy giving him pleasure.

As to his going down on the strap-on . . . well, if it was slightly unnerving for you to see him doing that, you ought to consider telling him about your reaction (assuming you haven't already). Open and honest communication is one of the standard answers around here for ensuring that situations don't get out of hand.

Question is: why *did* it freak you out? Was it simply the sight of him pleasuring a toy? Or was it the thought that he might be fantasising about doing the same thing to another man?

I'd suggest it's important for you to try and be clear in your own head as to why this event disturbed you. If your boyfriend *is* having bisexual fantasies that he would like to pursue – and that's a facet of his sexuality that you'd be uncomfortable with – then you really need to establish that now. Then again - and to try and put things into some sort of perspective - it might simply be a case of fantasy and role-playing on his part. Not every fantasy we have is one we'd want to enact in real life.

Do you have anything to worry about? Hard to say. If he's having bisexual fantasies that he'd like to act on, and you have a problem with that, then the answer might be "yes". If he's just being a little too keen to involve the strap-on in your love play, then you might simply need to remind him that there are other facets of your sexuality you'd like to explore, ones that don't always necessitate the use of strap-ons.