Wanted: Orgasm Fairy

[shrevecouple]

I am so jealous of men. (for the most part) They can relax and have fun during sex because orgasm is inevitable. I envy that. I crave that.

For me achieving orgasm feels like work. I don't orgasm unless my clitoris is stimulated. It is very frustrating. The only no hands approach there is for me is oral. It doesn't matter what position I am in I have to use a vibe or my hands. Mostly the vibe because manual stimulation with fingers isn't successful very often. I just want to have sex and it happen. For me, my biggest fantasy is just to have sex with my husband (hands free, battery free) and have a no work orgasm. For me the best orgasms are while being penetrated because that fullness inside just adds to the pleasure. But on the flipside when I can't just lay back enjoy, it takes away from it. Sometimes it takes me over 20 minutes to get there. For the most part (if i have an orgasm) it is just that one. Sometimes I get to squeeze out two. I know this has an effect on my husband as well. Men gain a little confidence off getting their wives off. Husbands with wives who achieve multiple orgasms get a little kick to the ego. I don't think alot of those husbands kow how lucky they are. It's not always their skill but the physical ability of their wives to achieve said orgasms. That doesn't really matter though, the effect is a positive one for both. Just like the effect of not achieving one can be negative even though neither is really at fault.
I am not really looking for advice on what position to try or anything like that. I guess I just need to vent. How do you make this not matter? How do you not worry about it? Here I am contemplating buying a new "toy" (We Vibe). Toys and such are suppose to be an added pleasure, not a necessity. Ugh!!

[Alura]

While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

Try it! Laura liked it.

Alura

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by Alura

While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

Try it! Laura liked it.

Alura

Vaginal orgasm has never happened for me.

We do something similar to that but my actual orgasms are short and sweet. By the time he gets inside me the orgasm is gone. Sex itself is more physically satisfying for me after an orgasm I will admit. It's like until I have one everything down there is asleep.

[StewartP]

It's weird how much of all this is in the mind.

Fiona for example can orgasm really quick sometimes. If she's horny and needs a quickie we can get it on and she'll come within 2 or 3 minutes. we've been togtehr so long I know just how to thrust and probe to hit her g spot. On the physical side tho' tgis only happens in missionary.

But when we were at a party for example she played with about 5 or 6 different men, including double penetration, oral, had a great time but only came twice. She said there was too much gonbg on around her to allow the focus required for her to come.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by shrevecouple

I am so jealous of men. (for the most part) They can relax and have fun during sex because orgasm is inevitable. I envy that. I crave that.

That is not always true, much of having an orgasm is dependent on the situation, even for men. There are too many variables to mention, but I have played many times without orgasm, including sex with my wife. I still enjoy it greatly, but there is not that release, so to speak. But inevitable it is not.

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by Coupleerotic22

That is not always true, much of having an orgasm is dependent on the situation, even for men. There are too many variables to mention, but I have played many times without orgasm, including sex with my wife. I still enjoy it greatly, but there is not that release, so to speak. But inevitable it is not.

That's why I added the part in parenthesis. I understand it can happen with men BUT it is way way less common. We have had sex also were for some reason he couldn't "finish" but those times are very few and far between.

It's hard to explain to a guy where he really fully understands. The closest I can think of is a guy who for some reason cannot cum from intercourse. I have heard of men who for some reason have to masturbate to orgasm. Alot of men I talk to say that being able to cum inside is more pleasurable for them. Imagine never being able to do so. Imagine ALWAYS having to pull out and finish for yourself or HAVING to grip the base of your penis or something while fucking to be able to orgasm. Although you can achieve one it could be discouraging to you and your partner. Roles reversed the woman may feel like her pussy must not feel good enough or isn't tight enough or whatever because other wives seem to be able to get their men off with thier pussies. Even though it's not her...it's him.

If it's not something that is all the time and you know it IS possible one may be able to relax more because they know in time it will happen and they will get that satisfaction here and there. Knowing you have no choice is frustrating. It would just be nice to sit back and enjoy the ride and not have to feel like a dang bank robber trying to crack the code to the bank vault every time you have sex.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by shrevecouple

For me achieving orgasm feels like work. I don't orgasm unless my clitoris is stimulated.

Originally Posted by shrevecouple

It would just be nice to sit back and enjoy the ride and not have to feel like a dang bank robber trying to crack the code to the bank vault every time you have sex.

You sound as if this very much on your mind during sex, perhaps it would helpful to work less, relax more and let nature take its course. Maybe the orgasms will come a bit easier.

A watched pot never boils.

[shrevecouple]

I tried that. 1 month...no orgasm. If the intentions for an orgasm aren't there (oral or vibe) it just don't happen.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Alura

While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

Try it! Laura liked it.

Alura

Oh YES!! Dave does this at times and the orgasm is so much more intense. It actually gives a BOOM to the whole orgasm thing. (OK... I can't explain it, but just know that this is a great way to have a big O!)

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by shrevecouple

Vaginal orgasm has never happened for me.

I wonder if this has to do with positioning. I can't have vaginal O's missionary style, but I can if I'm on my back and he's on his side and our legs are kind of scissored. I have no idea why positioning matters because I can't get vaginal O's with a dildo. It has to be the real deal.

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I wonder if this has to do with positioning. I can't have vaginal O's missionary style, but I can if I'm on my back and he's on his side and our legs are kind of scissored. I have no idea why positioning matters because I can't get vaginal O's with a dildo. It has to be the real deal.

I have tried them all...even that one!

[funcoupledayton]

I was very similar to you until last year. Being with different partners has allowed me to start having vaginal orgasms. Honestly, the ones I get through oral or manual clit stimulation are better though. I'm not suggesting you swing to try to get different orgasms, but that has been the case for me.

Usually I don't come when we play because new partners are distracting, and often my husband doesn't either. He comes through intercourse about half the time with me and has never come through oral with me, but a couple times with other partners. It's just as hot for him to come on me or for him to watch me touch myself so we really don't worry about it.

I just accept myself and him as we are and enjoy it/not worry about it. We have tons of fun together and with our friends and that makes me happy!

[tribbles]

How do you make this not matter? How do you not worry about it?

It took me a long time to accept how my body works. Now the only time it's a bit sad is if some guy is unhappy if he can't 'make me cum'....I do try to warn guys but in large groups sometimes that gets lost in the play. Even then, it's his issue about it, not mine.

I cum with a vibe and like it if a guy can be in me but no vibe on the clit = no O. And even then...20 minutes is not unusual as I 'work' towards it. I do my best to enjoy the 'working toward it'

It has helped to see guys who don't cum ez too. And other women. And to see the ones who do cum ez. It's all variety. Taking a long time to cum means longer build up and more sensations along the path to an orgasm and others path just just full of fast orgasms....I just do my best to enjoy my path. And enjoy watching and helping others with their paths.

I also can't change that I can't draw worth crap, can't do much math in my head but spell most words easily. Others can draw or mold clay and others do math in their heads and can't spell....which is better? Which would be what I want? Doesn't matter...I got what I got and they go what they got with their bodies....same with orgasms.

Enjoy what you got. Cuz it's what you got.

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by funcoupledayton

I was very similar to you until last year. Being with different partners has allowed me to start having vaginal orgasms. Honestly, the ones I get through oral or manual clit stimulation are better though. I'm not suggesting you swing to try to get different orgasms, but that has been the case for me.

This would probably make my husband sad if this were the case, to know he has tried everything he could and someone else come along and make it look easy. (I really don't see that happening one on one) I can see a no hands approach to orgasm with a MFM being as the 2 guys can take over what I usually have to do.
I can make him orgasm any way I set out to do it. I can make him orgasm through penetration, oral,anal, handjob, between the boobs and of course he can through mutual masturbation. I am so envious.

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by tribbles

I also can't change that I can't draw worth crap, can't do much math in my head but spell most words easily. Others can draw or mold clay and others do math in their heads and can't spell....which is better? Which would be what I want? Doesn't matter...I got what I got and they go what they got with their bodies....same with orgasms.

Enjoy what you got. Cuz it's what you got.

Wish I could get the multiquote down but I haven't. LOL

I understand what you are trying to say here but you are comparing apples to oranges here. No way the ability to do these other things even compares. IMO To me things like that are easier accept. If you can't so something like draw it's not a part of your everyday life.