Anal virgin

[freakyweds69]

I have never had anal sex nor have I ever considered it up until recently. It used to completely disgust me. Before anyone gets all hot & bothered (and not in the good way) about my previous statement let me give you some of my back story [pun intended ]:

My best friend is bi and we'd played together on many occasions starting when I was still a virgin to men. I always promised her that one day I would join in a 3some with her if she ever wanted it and she promised me the same. Too bad she's in a committed relationship right now with a vanilla guy so the hubs & I can't take advantage but I digress.

Flash forward a couple of years and she is in relationship of two years with a guy named Levi. I'm single so we go for a 3some. Red flag #1: He was drunk and not just a little bit either. Things get going and we are making out while he is running his mouth and fingers all over our bodies. We take turns licking and sucking him to get him good and hard. She moves to get on top of him and ride him because he is very notably excited and instead of focusing on her, he literally grabs me and pulls me on top of him. I thought was hot that he wanted me so badly. Red flag #2: He showed absolutely no interest in my friend the entire time which worried me a bit for her sake but at the time I just copped it to me being the "shiny new toy". Anyway, we're going at it and now he is pounding me from behind while I take care of her desires orally. She is ready to be drilled so we go to switch off and he again denies my friend and went right back to me. Then he decided that it would be ok without even asking me to just stick it in my rear. WHOA! That was the end of that. I couldn't go through with it anymore and I pulled the plug. I couldn't sit right for days and I'd literally only gotten the tip of the iceberg.

Now I find myself interested in anal. We watched a movie recently where in one of the scenes the woman was enjoying some DP and it really got me going. My husband - like most men - got excited about the fact that I'm starting to come around to the idea. I've even expressed willingness to try. That being said I have NO idea how to go about it. I definitely want to be comfortable doing this with Mr. Freak before I try with anyone else. I already know the basics: lots of lube and relax. What else is there that I can do that will make the process easier on me? Mr. Freak is sitting right next to me and wants to know if there is anything he can do as well that would help. Any tips from how to start to what is the best lube would be greatly appreciated!

[angelkin]

I am not a big fan of anal due to a back story similar to yours. Once in a great while, I want to do it with hubby (only).

Anal Easy is my lube of choice for this...it has a numbing agent that takes the sting off the initial entry. Adam and Eve has it, there's probably others like it on the market.

Go nice and slow...let hubby position himself at your back door and hold still so you can push against him at your own pace. There's 2 sets of muscles in there, so you'll need to relax, breathe, and get through those initial boundaries. After that, go at your own pace and remember this is for you, not him.

Not being extremely experienced in this arena, I'll be watching this thread for replies from the others so I can learn something too

[km34]

I have always had luck simulating DP by using a dildo in my pussy at least while we get going... By having a pleasurable sensation going on up front, it is easier for me to relax. I enjoy anal once we get going, but the getting going is always a struggle.

You may also try using toys on yourself before stepping up to actually having anal sex with a living, breathing man. I know part of my struggle for a long while was not trusting my husband to take it nice and slow. I'm past that now, but a few years ago it was easier for me to work my comfort level up with anal play with toys, alone, with no pressure from someone else wanting pleasure from it too.

Those are two things I've tried... I'm sure others will have some wonderful advice too. Good luck!

[Lee_Russell48]

It has been my experience that when a guy takes his time and uses vibrators, getting a girl to accept and actually enjoy anal sex has always been easy. Using a vibrator on her while licking and sucking her pussy really gets a woman excited. I like to make a woman cum at least twice before I enter her. I get her on her hands and knees with her legs spread very wide. By introducing a vibrator again, this time in her ass, she gets to enjoy the sensations. By sliding 3 fingers in her in place of the vibrator, I can spread her open as much as I need to penetrate her. Keeping the movements slow and steady, I get her to lie down on her stomach, slowly rolling her over on her back and once she is comfortable, I work another vibrator in her vagina using my body to keep it inside her. Occasionally, I lie on my back with her over me in a 69 position. While she goes down on me, I can work a vobrator in her front and back and let her experience triple penitration.

[shrevecouple]

Anal Eze is definitely the way to go. He puts that on you while he fingers you for a few minutes. About five minutes later it's already working. He should also lube up of course with some KY or something. My hubby always starts with the tip and uses short slow thrusts and just eases a little bit more in each time until he is making full length thrusts. He has to be patient and slow because yes for alot of us the getting going is slow but after that it is easier.

[funcoupledayton]

I'd recommend a silicone lube rather than ky. They stay slippery longer and are less damaging to the cells of the rectum. There was recently a study that showed water-based lubes can cause damage increasing risk of hiv transmission. Silicone is ok to use with condoms.

If you are just with your husband and don't need condoms a lot of people prefer oil based lubes for anal because they are thicker. You shouldn't use them vaginally because they can cause infections.

You should not switch back to vaginal penetration after anal without washing or changing condoms because you can get an infection.

Dan Savage (savage love), Sex is Fun podcast, Ending the sexual dark age podcast and Tristan Taormino all have extensive info about anal sex. Tristan has a whole book about it which I've heard is excellent.

[freakyweds69]

Thank you all for your advice! I've heard some people even after getting used to it still don't really enjoy it. Then I've heard others who almost prefer it over vaginal intercourse because they climax more easily and/or harder. This may sound like a naive question but how is that even possible?

Originally Posted by funcoupledayton

I'd recommend a silicone lube rather than ky. They stay slippery longer and are less damaging to the cells of the rectum. There was recently a study that showed water-based lubes can cause damage increasing risk of hiv transmission. Silicone is ok to use with condoms.

I just googled silicone lubricants and pulled up one called Backdoor by Pjur (sp?) that actually has a muscle relaxer in it. I think that's the one I'm going to get because I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time relaxing initially and if it's anything like being in labor the more you tense up, the more it hurts.

[noobwithboobs]

I've tried all the tips I've read, heard from friends etc. I still don't like it. I will do it occasionally, because I know he likes it, he never pressures me for it or anything like that. I guess I keep hoping it will become better for me, but it doesn't LOL I don't mind external stimultion in the area but actual penetration of anything at all is so uncomfortable for me. Just not something we do often and I don't miss it even though he wishes I did

[funcoupledayton]

Originally Posted by Lee_Russell48

It has been my experience that when a guy takes his time and uses vibrators, getting a girl to accept and actually enjoy anal sex has always been easy. Using a vibrator on her while licking and sucking her pussy really gets a woman excited. I like to make a woman cum at least twice before I enter her.

Very good advice!

[freakyweds69]

Originally Posted by Lee_Russell48

It has been my experience that when a guy takes his time and uses vibrators, getting a girl to accept and actually enjoy anal sex has always been easy. Using a vibrator on her while licking and sucking her pussy really gets a woman excited. I like to make a woman cum at least twice before I enter her.

I agree this is great advice! I will definitely be much more relaxed after an orgasm or two

[divenaked]

We use Astroglide Gel. It is much thicker than regular water based lubes and stays put quite well. I would not recomend anything with a numbing agent, you may tear something and not feel it at the time. The big rule with anal sex is "If it hurts, you're doing it wrong." Lots of oral, several orgasms, patience, and in the words of "Sue", 'gently, bently.' will get you there.
p.s. Ms Dive has a glass dildoe that she says is the best anal toy ever. She says if you slide it real slow, it's cold as hell going in, and hot as hell coming out!

[Lascivious L&L]

I second the caution against using numbing agents. The whole point is to know what you are feeling. The key is to be relaxed, so orgasms and trust are key ingredients. Personally I prefer the water based lubricants to silicone, for the feel as well as the cleanup. Silicones don't clean easily. Make sure you have plenty of lubricant on hand. If it dries, apply more.

I'm the male and I love giving anal because it is so different from vaginal penetration. There is a primal feel to it. For us rear entry is our favorite for that primal feel. She can have amazing orgasms from anal. For you though, being on top gives total control to you. We love that position also, but it usually ends in me cumming very quickly

I have been anally penetrated with strap-ons, so I know something of the feeling. I think it helps truly for the male to know what it feels like. He will be a lot more careful having felt it himself.

[ViSexual]

You also asked what your hubby could do to help? Well, rimming is sure a great way to get you to enjoy anal stimulation. My wife finds that when I tongue her anally that she gets her best orgasms. Then, of course, lots of lube for anything other than a tongue.

[freakyweds69]

Wow I never thought of the lubes that numb as being potentially bad but you're right, I could hurt myself (or the hubs hurt me unintentionally) and not even know it. He's already started using his tongue and fingers on me to start. I'm glad I didn't already go out and buy any one lube. With all of the recommendations you all gave me I might have to do some eeney-meaney-miney-mo to pick one!

[bimarriedguy82]

Originally Posted by freakyweds69

I have never had anal sex nor have I ever considered it up until recently. It used to completely disgust me. Before anyone gets all hot & bothered (and not in the good way) about my previous statement let me give you some of my back story [pun intended ]:

My best friend is bi and we'd played together on many occasions starting when I was still a virgin to men. I always promised her that one day I would join in a 3some with her if she ever wanted it and she promised me the same. Too bad she's in a committed relationship right now with a vanilla guy so the hubs & I can't take advantage but I digress.

Flash forward a couple of years and she is in relationship of two years with a guy named Levi. I'm single so we go for a 3some. Red flag #1: He was drunk and not just a little bit either. Things get going and we are making out while he is running his mouth and fingers all over our bodies. We take turns licking and sucking him to get him good and hard. She moves to get on top of him and ride him because he is very notably excited and instead of focusing on her, he literally grabs me and pulls me on top of him. I thought was hot that he wanted me so badly. Red flag #2: He showed absolutely no interest in my friend the entire time which worried me a bit for her sake but at the time I just copped it to me being the "shiny new toy". Anyway, we're going at it and now he is pounding me from behind while I take care of her desires orally. She is ready to be drilled so we go to switch off and he again denies my friend and went right back to me. Then he decided that it would be ok without even asking me to just stick it in my rear. WHOA! That was the end of that. I couldn't go through with it anymore and I pulled the plug. I couldn't sit right for days and I'd literally only gotten the tip of the iceberg.

Now I find myself interested in anal. We watched a movie recently where in one of the scenes the woman was enjoying some DP and it really got me going. My husband - like most men - got excited about the fact that I'm starting to come around to the idea. I've even expressed willingness to try. That being said I have NO idea how to go about it. I definitely want to be comfortable doing this with Mr. Freak before I try with anyone else. I already know the basics: lots of lube and relax. What else is there that I can do that will make the process easier on me? Mr. Freak is sitting right next to me and wants to know if there is anything he can do as well that would help. Any tips from how to start to what is the best lube would be greatly appreciated!

The first time my wife did anal was a similar situation. I asked many times before but she was never into it. Then during our first threesome the guy was fucking her doggystyle and without asking stuck his dick in her ass and started pounding away. We were both shocked at first, but I was even more shocked when she didnt stop him. Ever since she has been very into anal sex. I owe him big time lol