What is it about anal?

[couplers]

From what is posted and discussed here, probably the second most frequent rule couples have in swinging is "no anal." Some do not give an explanation, other say it is special and saved for just between themselves. Why is that?


Considering anal sex as something sacred seems contrary to what girls said and did growing up. For girls in my junior high and high school letting a guy put his dick in your bum and cum was considered "third base" stuff, like oral. The reasons some girls did anal was because they either didn't like oral at all or didn't like a guy cumming in their mouth, a few girls liked it because they were able to orgasm that way, and some because their bf just wanted it. It also had the advantage of being a means of contraception at an age when getting on birth control was not easy.


To hubby and me anal is nothing special; in fact, I have never done it with him. I have done it with other guys because they asked, but the only time it gets me even close to orgasm is when the guy in my bum is also playing with my clit. The after effects are that Mr. Anal Man keeps the antibacterial soap companies secure in business, I need another fresh guy (that is my hubby) to give me vaginal sex so I can cum, and there is that frothy mix squishing out. (Yes, it was what happened last night that got me to thinking.) So to us it is the most detached and least special of sex acts.


Your thoughts.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by couplers

From what is posted and discussed here, probably the second most frequent rule couples have in swinging is "no anal." Some do not give an explanation, other say it is special and saved for just between themselves. Why is that?

I've often wondered about this as well.

Anal isn't a big deal to us. We tried it a few times, didn't really get much out of it, and haven't attempted in years. It doesn't really hold any sexual value for us. We've never had a playmate ask either of us to do anal. That being said, neither of us would have a problem with the other trying it with a partner if they asked. It is neither sacred or special for us. It is just another thing that we don't think that much about.

We've had many playmates that stated that one of their rules was no anal, but I think in almost every case it was actually "no anal for her", because she didn't like it. There may have been a couple that only kept anal for themselves, but I don't recall a specific one saying that.

[PB&J]

We hear a lot on another site that anal is a special thing just for the two of them. I'm not sure what makes anal so sacred. Actually, although it will never be my favorite, I've had better anal experiences with play partners than with PB. I'm not sure if it's technique or equipment (and smaller does not necessarily equal more comfortable, for some reason), but with some it's just been more satisfying than with others. That being said, I would never ask for it, but have allowed some to do, if they've asked pretty pretty please...lol.

[angelkin]

I am just not a big fan of anal, but when I want it, I only want my hubby to do it for me. There's a level of trust and comfort with him that just isn't gonna be there with someone else.

We put the anal limitation line it in our profile because it's off the table with playmates and we want to state that up front. There seems to be an assumption that women who enjoy two or more men want DP. It almost always comes up in an opening conversation with potential playmates.

All that being said, we've not been asked to do it during playtime.

[Dont.Stop]

For Mrs.DontStop, it takes a level a trust that she hasn't found in a playmate yet. We may get there someday, but that day isn't today and it won't be tomorrow either.

[lotsoffun201]

Mrs fun said she only tried anal one time with an ex husband. From what she said, it didn't appear either one knew what they were doing and she never tried it again. I had mentioned to her it was something I liked on occasion and if done correctly it isnt painful and will be pleasureable. With a little convincing she tried it, and actually orgasmed from it.

Now its not something we do every day, and save it for when SHE asks for it. As far as doing it with others....that's off the table for many reasons. Most importantly it takes a level of trust so as you don't get hurt.

[couplers]

Both Dont.Stop and angelkin say that it is a matter of trust and/or comfort with a potential play partner. Please explain because this is the root of the question. Trust that he will know what he is doing? Will be gentle? Would think less of you? Would find that penny you swallowed when you were two? Maybe it had something to do with the fact I went to Catholic school and the vagina was the "holiest of holes" as the kids said, but here the thinking is the opposite. And does the same apply to your guy if he wants to go into the bum of a willing woman? Is he extra concerned about trust? Would you, his woman, be?



A couple more thoughts:

DP can be enjoyable for me because I am getting stimulation in my pussy as well. Particularly with my bf and hubby, since we have had years to work out the position, rhythm, and the timing on how we all cum. The couple of times Clair licked me while Walter was in my bum were pretty good as well. But the whole anal thing is kind of weird compared to regular vaginal or oral. It has the feeling of "the wrong way up a one-way street" that the other acts don't.


When I first did anal at 17 or 18, about half a year after I first had regular vaginal sex wih my bf, it wasn't painful but was uncomfortable to the point where I couldn't enjoy it at all. As time went on it became easy but not enjoyable.


Length doesn't matter at all (no chance of "hitting bottom") but width mkes a big difference. That's why I'm glad hubby doesn't want it.


I wouldn't have a problem if hubby bum-fucked Clair, Lora or another girl, he's just not into it.

[Alura]

I've never had an interest in anal. Why fuck an ass when there's a perfectly good pussy right there next to it?

Fortunately, Mrs. Alura didn't like it; nor does White Fox.

It's also a very easy way to get an STD, particularly AIDS. That's why the gay community were the first to experience an epidemic in the western countries.

Alura

[angelkin]

Originally Posted by couplers

Both Dont.Stop and angelkin say that it is a matter of trust and/or comfort with a potential play partner. Please explain because this is the root of the question. Trust that he will know what he is doing? Will be gentle? Would think less of you? ...... And does the same apply to your guy if he wants to go into the bum of a willing woman? Is he extra concerned about trust? Would you, his woman, be?

As I said, I'm just not a big fan of it anyway...but yes, it does have to do with the trust that he will not hurt me, that he knows how to do it for me to enjoy it, and the fact he does not demand it nor prefer it. To me, anal sex is far more personal than vaginal sex.

As far as him having anal sex with another woman, he's welcome to do so if she's inclined. Our profile says "she doesn't do anal with our guests".

[Gordo]

Tried it a couple of decades ago and it was just plain boring. Mrs didn't get anything out of it either we quit after about 5 min.

We tried it in a mmf recently but it didn't seem to work well and we gave it up then too.

All in all I just couldn't be bothered again unless asked by a playmate. I guess I would leave it up to the mrs if she was asked for it during a session.

[Dont.Stop]

Originally Posted by couplers

Both Dont.Stop and angelkin say that it is a matter of trust and/or comfort with a potential play partner. Please explain because this is the root of the question. Trust that he will know what he is doing? Will be gentle? Would think less of you? Would find that penny you swallowed when you were two? Maybe it had something to do with the fact I went to Catholic school and the vagina was the "holiest of holes" as the kids said, but here the thinking is the opposite. And does the same apply to your guy if he wants to go into the bum of a willing woman? Is he extra concerned about trust? Would you, his woman, be?

Well, it's something Mrs had never experimented with in her 47 years on this earth. She recently started hinting interest about it, then one afternoon we were watching porn that had a lot of anal play. She was finally comfortable enough with herself to say "She's my hero" when the actress got DP. Minutes later we were into our first anal experience together (I have in the past).

To add... if she told me tomorrow she wanted to do it with her playmates, I'd tell her have a good time with it.

It's nothing I necessarily long for. We've played a few times with it and she wants to continue, albeit at a slow pace. She found it to be very intense. To her it still has a very "taboo" element to it, and she's not comfortable enough to do it with a playmate. The trust issue stems from her still learning to accept it, and partially because yeah, you could really hurt someone doing it.

If she says she's ready to do it with others, I won't have a problem with it. I don't envision a situation where I'll tell a playmate "I really wanna put it in your ass."

Mrs still wants to DP one day. And when she's ready, I'll certainly help her along with it. It's fun, she finds it very intense and has cum from it. We've used too much lube when we've done it and I haven't been able to cum inside her, which she is looking forward to.

When I asked her about anal and swinging, she said she wasn't ready for it and wanted to keep it between us for now. That's cool for me. It's nothing I crave, and no one has told me they wanted it. Yet.

To add... if she told me tomorrow she wanted to do it with her playmates, I'd tell her have a good time with it.

[wisconsin]

Hi, Petra.
As you probably know we swing very rarely. I don't see anything intimate or special about anal. When we do swing anal usually comes when I am bored with my partner, there is nothing to do I can't get anything out of him and want him to just cum so I offer it myself. Men usually get pretty excited and take my offer and come fast. Although they prefer to pound pretty hard toward the end and considering that we always use condoms when we swing, my bum gets pretty sore. I can and do survive, not a big deal.

When I have a fun partner to play with ass play comes in a round 3 or 4 and usually it's more of a weekend thing when we used up all positions and just want do something fun and naughty. Can I come from it? Only if my pussy gets stimulated or clit. Otherwise, it's fun and enjoyable but I can't cum.

My BF loves ass fuck and sometimes we have sessions when we mostly do ass play. We use vibrators on both of us, fisting, reverse cowgirl, my legs up, me riding him, doggy and whatever we can think of to make it fun. I come home and think ''Oh, the only hole didn't get filled up tonight was my pussy.'' Since we don't use condoms I don't get sore from him and he is not too big. He always makes that different moan when he enters my ass, it has a totally different sound of pleasure and satisfaction.

Hubby gets in that mood too once in a while, when he is only interested in my ass. He is twice thicker then BF or most of the men I played with so it takes little more time to accomodate him, but once he is in, game on.

As I said, it's fun, something diffrent, just need to be in a right mood.
The only thing is which may concern me about playing with new partner is I need to trust him enough to make is slow and take his time. If he is not used to ass fuck or overly enthusiastic he can hurt me and I will be uncomfortable for couple of days. About feeling detached ,yes, it's true, that's why it's always a last thing on a menue...

[twistedpretzels]

I tried anal a few times on and off over the years but it always hurt. Then a previous bf really really wanted it and he was smaller than average and i was finally able to accomodate him. it was just giving in to this 'act of submission' that i liked. with pete we tried it a little and i liked the 'submission' part. i have no idea how i could have an orgasm that way. lol. recently however, i like my bum played with and like pete is going to do something but we don't. lol. what the heck.
as far as giving my butt to a guy when i was in high school or any of my other friends i never heard of that way back when (56 here)-- musta been a CA thing and not a NJ thing. hahahahahhahahaha
BUTT what do i know?

[rainbowskye]

I only do anal with my partner, not play mates. The reason is quite simple for me, if the other person was any smaller or larger than him it wouldn't be enjoyable. Also he knows my quite well and if something doesn't feel right he can tell by my body language. There is indeed a comfort level there. Now as for him, if he chooses to have anal with a playmate, like he did this past weekend, it is all good.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by twistedpretzels

as far as giving my butt to a guy when i was in high school or any of my other friends i never heard of that way back when (56 here)-- musta been a CA thing and not a NJ thing. hahahahahhahahaha
BUTT what do i know?

We're in our mid-30's and this never happened when we were in high school either. Blowjobs, but not anal sex.