Animal Spirits

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here.

A correspondent of mine on this board mentioned that in her young days she took a licking and really went ticking -- as an affectionate favor from her puppy.

Sex with animals is thought of as quite beastly, even in the broad-minded swing community. Something of a taboo topic. But let's face up to it and admit that it's not that unusual a practice.

My friend's story, which I don't have in detail, I think was a part of the youthful experimentation that we all did, or should have done and I got the impression it happened more-or-less spontaneously and not necessarily intentionally.

You can see the picture -- playing around with your puppy, puppies like to lick, something's juicy and meaty, voila!

Now Dan Savage, who I consider wise and noble, is very much against animal sex and on a crystal clear ground, no moral ambiguity -- there's no consent from the animal (at least in human-does-the-penetrating bestiality). Fully agree. But still, there are stories to be told.

Getting it on with animals has a long and noble history. In China, in Korea and in that place I'm not supposed to ever name, Nikki-land, there's a considerable body of novels involving aristocratic court ladies and how much they enjoy their pets. So many such books that they're practically thick on the ground.

Women wrote them (writing novels was an occupation for noble ladies of leisure) but you have to wonder how much the men read them. Off to war with a little porn in your rugsack.

If I'd had any sense in graduate school I would have written my thesis on them -- a thick, dreary, ponderously academic tome, with a spicy user's guide as an appendix. Some theses get published and actually sell well. I missed my chance.

Back when I used to go hiking in the farm country of northern England, I heard stories, while resting in pubs, of how sheep were good for more than one thing. Since I was hiking, they warned me that I might come over the rise of a hill and see a farmer with a sheep's back hooves stuck into his rubber boots.

They called it sheep shagging.

Going into England, the authorities would ask you what you were there for. I became tempted to tell them "I'm researching my doctoral thesis in history. It's on "The Effect of the Industrial Revolution on Sheep Shagging in Northumbria, 1817 to 1852". That quirky selection of dates adds the special touch of bogus veracity.

Finely let me mention that when I had my first job for a computer company in the Boston perimeter, I had to help the engineers work up their presentations to the bosses. I'd always called that kind of presentation a "dog and pony show". When I said those words to one of the secretaries, she turned bright red. To her it meant one of the things that Tijuana was famous for.

Anyone else want to share stories?

-- Big Nikki

[Alura]

We were sitting around the barracks, lying about our sexual exploits, as 17 year old Airman Basics tend to do, when Charlie, (fake name) from Sullivan's Holler, Missippi, (real name) suddenly joined the conversation.

"Y'all can talk about how great girl pussy is but I'll tell y'all the truth: Ain't no pussy hotter than good ol' cow pussy! I got me a cow named Elsie (fake name) who likes it better than any girl I ever fucked did. Elsie's stump broke. There's this tree stump down in the woods that's just the right height. Elsie'll back right up to it if I lead her down there. I stand on the stump and I can fuck her real good. She likes it best when I fuck her for a long time. When I was 13, Elsie got pregnant. Shit, I was scared to death! I thought we'd have a calf that was half human! So I asked the vet what would happen if a dog and a cat had sex and he told me species could not cross like that. I could tell he knew why I asked, because he said, "People can't cross with cattle either. It don't work." Turned out my pa had had Elsie bred to Seth William's (fake name) bull and I was shore happy! Well! This talk about cow pussy has made my cock hard as a rock. I'm just gonna climb up in my bunk and beat my meat."

He did.

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here.

What a wonderful story. Real Americana.

My John had a few cracker encounters during his Army days, but nothing like that.

-- Big Nikki

[MN Tom]

That is a lovely story. And hearing/seeing that in real life..

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here.

The woman that I mentioned at the beginning of the original post in this thread sent me more details -- but said she didn't want to post it herself and asked me to. I quote her here:

my tryst with dogs happened twice. once when i was like 20 and then once when i was in my 40's. the first time it was with a big ol yellow lab (licking me) and the second time it was with TWO dogs. i was masterbating on the bed and my male tibetian spaniel jumped up and started licking me, and then the female shorthair pointer jumped up and helped out. it was quite kinky and cool. i never tried to entice them again cuz... i don't know why. .... germs i guess? And the last dog i had started checking me out when i was materbating and i spread my legs a bit farther (male, chihauha beagle mix) and he kinda sniffed... but then slinked away while looking and me and he actually said, 'what the fuck are you thinking???' reminded me of an x husband. lol. you can restate these in the post. i'm just not forward thinking enough actually do it myself. LOL.

-- Big Nikki

[dr_pepper]

Interesting subject...

Great story Al!
Having grown up in Tulsa and spending half of my time on a farm just East of town, I was around such possibilities, and did think of them, but never acted on such.

My first real chance to see a sexual happening was at the farm, when my Uncle's stud horse was breeding some mares that were there for that purpose. My Uncle raised race horses.

The farm environment is very educational...

[Big Rock]

Oh, Brother. Nikki loves her stories doesn't she. As a farm kid, I have heard all of these type of stories, and most of them are told by city kids, who assume that country boys are fucking the shit out of the livestock. Just like all summer camps/ lake cabins/secluded farmhouses have axe-murderers, and other urban myths. Adult sex is that which is practiced between consenting adults, so what does rover do? Bark his assent?

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here.

Originally Posted by Big Rock

Oh, Brother. Nikki loves her stories doesn't she?

Well, yes I do. One of the reasons I do so well as a technical writer -- and get a lot of non-tech assignments -- is a facility for being, shall I say?, evocative.

Now a lot that I write, here and elsewhere, is a bit like Mark Twain -- lots of hyperbole and exaggeration. But the truth always underlies it.

In the case of the my hiking in Britain, I never saw sheep-shagging, even from a distance, I just heard tales of it in the pubs. And I never had the nerve to say to an immigration officer that I was writing a thesis on sheep-shagging. My master's thesis was duller than dull and I was glad to be done with it.

Writing to you folks is some of the most fun I have ever had (with my clothes on, as Woody Allen says).

As always,
Your faithful scribe,
-- Big Nikki

[lotsoffun201]

I heard always shag sheep next to a cliff. They push back better that way.....Just kidding LOL

[PB&J]

So the guy gets onstage at a big paranormal convention and asks the audience, "Has anyone here seen a ghost?" About half the audience puts up their hands.

He then asks, "Has anyone here touched a ghost?" About a quarter of the people put up there hands.

Finally he asks, "Has anyone had sex with a ghost?" One man puts up his hand. "Really? You've actually had sex with a ghost? What was it like?"

"Ghost? The man asks. "Why, dang, I thought you said goat! I'm from [whatever rural locale you want to slag, in our case the neighbouring township, who would of course reciprocate by naming our township]."

[Big Rock]

My suggestion would be for somebody (not Rocky) to have sex with an animal and come back and give us the word. Any volunteers?

[Alura]

Charlie? Where are you?


Alura

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by Big Rock

My suggestion would be for somebody (not Rocky) to have sex with an animal and come back and give us the word. Any volunteers?

Now you know you were bringing this up, when you brought it up........ I think we found our volunteer

Na, seriously I was in jail for a week one day and met a man from Texas ! He told me of fucking his horse, said she was "stump broke" I had to ask ( I have pulled stumps outa the ground with a team of Belgians, thats stump broke.) anyways, he said he'd walk his horse to a stump, and she'd back up... like wanting it, i guess ?

I have seen the video's, to me, when they hold/restrain and animal to preform sex, thats brutality !

I'll keep my holding and restraining, to the human playmates I have

fun~

[SW_PA_Couple]

I had sex with a nauga once. That's the animal from which they make Naugahyde. Does that count?

[Big Rock]

I just remembered, I've had sex ON an animal!! The bearskin rug at my parents house, and it was sweet!! Plus, I've seen the donkey show at Juarez.