Monogamy without sexual fidelity

[Powerglide]

The Daily Beast chimes in:
Is Monogamy a Myth? New Books Rethink Our Ideas of Fidelity - The Daily Beast

[Chicup]

The only flaw is nothing about this is 'new'.

Its simply the same as it ever was.

[bbarnsworth]

Interesting article! Thanks for sharing.

I don't agree that polyamory is a likely future of marriage. Poly works for some people, but not for everyone by a long shot. More open marriages, with people being emotionally monogamous but sexually non-monogamous, yeah I can see that. I'm sure I'm biased in that view.

[LFM2]

Agree with Chicup. This is nothing new, just revisited time and time again.

Also echo bbarnsworth idea of poly marriage. It's not for everyone and I don't think it's the future. Sexual monogamy is one thing, but emotional monogamy is another. We also fit in this group. I married my best friend, my soul mate. I can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to add another person to our duo and he doesn't either. Poly doesn't fit in our lives. However, I smile when I think of him and his "girlfriend". In all my life, I never thought I'd ever type that -- or even think it. I love that we're like this.

[Big Rock]

My opinion is that the main reasons for monogamy are stability and security, both physical and emotional, and for sexual, monogamy allows for some form of certainty of parentage, and assistance in childrearing. These reasons are particularily important during a woman's childbearing years and a child's development years. And it is easier to deal with one other person's isues than it is to deal with multiple partners issues. After the children are raised, then the necessity for sexual monogamy lessens, and sex becomes a primarily recreational activity, but the desirability for emotional and physical stability and security never lessens, but grows stronger as a person ages. Nobody wants to experience old-age alone.

[Alura]

Originally Posted by Big Rock

After the children are raised, then the necessity for sexual monogamy lessens, and sex becomes a primarily recreational activity, but the desirability for emotional and physical stability and security never lessens, but grows stronger as a person ages. Nobody wants to experience old-age alone.

A wise observation for one so young, Rocky.

Alura

[TheSwingerSet]

For me the replies to the article were far more interesting and informative than the article itself. I always enjoy reading/hearing about others ideas about monogamy or non-monogamy in this case.

I personally think that most of us depraved sexual deviants have it right, Emotional monogamy and sexual freedom!

K

[LFM2]

Rock, you're spot on!! (IMHO)

[Zoe&Wash]

Warren Buffet?????

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here --

I've never understood sexual fidelity. Yes, I know that sex is something deeper than having lunch or playing tennis -- but every time I hear of a fuss over infidelity I think to myself "you spouse has lunch with friends without you; plays tennis with friends without you; what's the big deal?"

But I know and accept that most folks don't see it that way. We all seem to agree that emotional fidelity is the core, and sex is kind of a proxy for that.

No, the issue on "cheating" is the dishonesty, which is why this kind of community makes such a big deal about swinging is only with knowledge and permission.

A cheated-on person thinks "You're not getting what you want and need from me?" and when you parse that, you realize the underlying meaning is emotional needs, not sexual needs.

Or so I see it.

So we here think we're wiser (at least in this regard) and don't think monogamy equals fidelity.

-- Big Nikki