Think before you orgasm in your partner's mouth

[carl01tx]

We were with a couple and had a same room swap. My wife has all ways held me in her mouth as I came. I unintentionally upset the other woman by assuming that it was OK to do the same with her. Can't believe that I was so stupid. I was wrong. She couldn't get me out of her mouth fast enough when she realized that I was about to cum. ASK FIRST!

[dr_pepper]

Made that same mistake years ago. Boy, did I learn.

[exploringRM]

Either ask, or let the woman know you are about ready to cum. She can then decide how she wants to handle it. Even when I'm with a swing partner I know lets me cum in her mouth I let her know.

[JustAskJulie]

This is one I tell guys all the time.

[LFM2]

Asking first is great advice. I know it's hard to think before you orgasm, but this can and might be brought up before play has even begun.

[LagniappeDC]

Definitely! Luckily, I learned this before having a bad experience. You make enough of an indication before you are about to cum and you can let the lady decide. We've been lucky in that the men we've encountered have been polite in this regard.

I would add that this rule should apply to more than just cumming. It can be easy to forget, especially where some couples have a lot of similarities, that small differences always do exist. Texting the spouse, do you kiss with the partner not present, etc...things we consider small fun gestures, but can result in hurt feelings with others. Always ask!

[two4youinswva]

You know, when we first started swinging we thought this advice was one of those "Well, duh!" type things. An obvious courtesy that everyone would know. Turns out we were wrong.

Over the years, there have been two different guys that have given Mrs two4you an unwelcome surprise. One of them made it a daily double by grabbing the back of her head while coming. This didn't go over so well.

So, yeah, if she's giving you the courtesy of a BJ, at least give her the courtesy of deciding how to finish it up.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

An obvious courtesy that everyone would know.

You would think! MrsCoupleErotic has not had that happen YET. But I will make sure she see's this forum. She may tell the men she is with, my attention is usually elsewhere.

I always let a women know, even my wife. There are times she is more than happy to finish up, but at others, not so much. Either way it is her call, not mine.

[MN Tom]

Yes, this is definitely something that should be mentioned beforehand.

We talked with someone this weekend who had the "head grabbing" deal happen to her, and she was less than pleased. If that happened to my wife, the guy would be damn sure to never do it again, she would probably bring him to tears with a ball squeeze or something on that order.

Grabbing in that way is very close to forceful, so unless there was a very solid trust built up, it could very well be construed badly.

[Brian and Jo]

Yes, Brian always tells his partner when he is starting to cum. That way she can decide where she wants him to ejaculate - in her mouth during oral sex, in her pussy when they are fucking or wherever on her body.

[couplers]

The responsibility to communicate is with both parties, not just the guy. If I let a man put his dick into any part of me, it is with the expectation that he is working toward orgasm, will not necessarily be able to exercise full control, and will ejaculate wherever he may be in me at any time. (I see that loss of control as an indication that the sex is good for him.) If his dick is in a place where you don't want his cum, you have to speak up beforehand.


It also a little puzzling why a woman open enough to be in the LS and agreeing to let a guy enter her in a certain way then objects to the guy ejaculating there.

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by couplers

It also a little puzzling why a woman open enough to be in the LS and agreeing to let a guy enter her in a certain way then objects to the guy ejaculating there.

Hell, my husband can't ejaculate there, usually; it has nothing to do with "limits" in terms of LS rules; it is simply that my gag reflex is too well-developed to make cum in my mouth a pleasant experience.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by PB&J

Hell, my husband can't ejaculate there, usually; it has nothing to do with "limits" in terms of LS rules; it is simply that my gag reflex is too well-developed to make cum in my mouth a pleasant experience.

Same with Mrs two4you. It's not a matter of preference, she just can't do it.

[The Fuse]

When people are with one partner for a long time, we get used to the way we do things. It becomes second nature. Rules are ingrained and seem obvious. It also seems obvious that different people do different things and have different preferences and rules, but when habit comes into play (literally), it's easy to make assumptions. I've had guys assume I wouldn't let them come in my mouth because that's how things are done at home. We've had at least one couple interrupt the beginning of action to have us all take showers. It's actually in their profile that they *always* wash right beforehand, so it wasn't us (thank goodness) and we knew to expect it.

Until I was with different men, I always assumed they would orgasm inside me (or in the rubber), because that's the way we did it at home for fifteen years before starting to swing. Then I discovered that lots of people like to ejaculate on tummies or elsewhere. They like the visual and the tactile. One guy always likes to orgasm with me on top, others with them on top. And so on.

My point (I actually do have one) is that we should always check with a new partner and not be surprised when their ways of doing things are different than ours. That especially goes for things that are ingrained in ourselves as habits.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

. . . Then I discovered that lots of people like to ejaculate on tummies or elsewhere. . .

Those, actually, are the ones who have been watching too many porno movies.