I want to enjoy a passionate sex life with my wife again

[realcplub2]

Well, its time for me to chime in. I have avoided doing so, but, after reading the rest of the thread.. Well, here we go.

OP, you have in your writing mixed signals, and yes, I understand the concept of want her to be happy, even if its at the cost of your relationship, but lets take a reality check.

Two things stand out as clear as a flashing red warning light.. the first is the idea you have about her cheating, and yes that is the word that applies, three times, in 6 years of marriage. In your original post you explain that yes you have given her your blessing to do so, if the mood moved her, BUT you expect her to be honest about it.. Judging from the rest, its evident that she either hasnt been or you are mistaken. Is she honest with you about EVERYTHING else? Does she have a reason to NOT TELL YOU?

Please do not air the dirty laundry of someone elses past but you and you alone know what she has said about the break up of her first marriage/relationship that bore your step son. are there any reasons that would preclude her from being honest with you about any extra curricular fun?

Now for the part that you havent really been wanting to hear. As deeply as you love her, you are feeling left out, or last in line, when it comes to her attentions. The thought of her cheating on you, without discussing it, is eating at you. The lack of sex combined with the "hurry up and do it", and other restrictions, are the other part that you arent happy with.

Here is the best suggestion, this weekend coming up is Labor Day.. any decent hotel, is gonna charge thru the nose for a good room, BUT next weekend, the rates will be a third of what they are this weekend. Get your step son squared away.. and make reservations NOW, ) Ask about a hot tub room.. Then come next wednesday, tell her its a get away weekend, just you and her, take her to dinner, enjoy each others company like when you were first dating.. and over coffee, or after dinner drinks, explain that you are worried about the fire going out of the relationship.. and get her to talk to you, not listen to you BUT TALK to you, about whats been going on with HER, and why things are the way they are. take your time, do not rush and LISTEN to what she says.. then afterwards retire to your own private place, to re-ignite the fire. lower the lights, run the tub full of water and climb in and enjoy each other. Spend a couple hours playing with each other.. super extended foreplay.. and then start over again.

Its all up to you BOTH, regardless of what HAS happend, How to get past it and come thru the otherside together.