female problem cumming

[meb2020]

We have been swinging for 4 months and really enjoying ourselves and I (female) can't cum. Feels awesome, am wet, but just can't let it go. HELP!

[Additude]

Well of course there could be a multitude of reasons you can't orgasm in such a situation. Same as with having ED in that situation.

Chances are though that your head is thinking of something else instead of the "task at hand".

Maybe it's your hubby having sex, or maybe your just sort of uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe your embarassed about something.

There is something bothering you and you need to figure out what it is. Pay attention to your thoughts during swinging and see if you can pin it down yourself.

There is no one answer to your question. Only you can pinpoint it and figure it out for sure. Everything else is just a guess.

[lovinher]

Is this a problem you have with your husband or when masterbating? If not, only you know whats going on in your mind in a swinging situation.

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by lovinher

Is this a problem you have with your husband or when masterbating? If not, only you know whats going on in your mind in a swinging situation.

lovinher beat me to it!

These are the words straight from the mouth of Mrs. CXXC.

"If you don't have this issue until you are playing, odds are, you need to get out of your head and just RELAX!"

[sexcupid]

I'm pretty sure the rest of your respondents so far have been males...so let me be the first girl to chime in. lol

We've been swinging for a couple of years now...and so far I've found one swing partner that has been able to get me there. And when it happened, it was awesome. This was also a separate room scenario...his wife and my sweetie had another hotel room...so there were no other distractions, public playrooms are fun, its where we normally end up at the house parties we go to, but there is just too much going on around me to be able to get there. Being able to block out the rest of the activity takes some practice...but then you may encounter another problem:

There have also been quite a few partners that I'll call the Tootsie Pop variety...3 licks and they think you should be there. There have been a few partners that after less than a minute of oral have actually asked 'are you there yet?' Actually no...but now that I know you are impatient and obviously not enjoying what you are doing down there, I doubt I will. *facepalm*

Another possibility if the partner. Just like guys can't always get a hard-on on demand, even though every thing else is going ok (you are able to get wet and it feels good), sometimes there's just something about a person that you may not be feeling comfortable with. And there's nothing wrong with that.

As the others have said...some of it is just being able to relax in the scenario. Practice seems to help with being able to concentrate on what is happening with you and your partner. As Attitude said, sometimes you need to think about how you are feeling while swapping.

Good luck and have fun!

[BiloxiCouple]

Have you ever had an orgasm in the past?

[JustAskJulie]

I've had this problem a lot in swinging. Especially, if there are a lot of people in the room - and even moreso if there is anyone in the room doing anything other than having sex.

I think females not being able to get off as pretty much the equivalent of guys not being able to keep an erection, we can just hide it better (and it only affects us). For me, it's all about distractions, the more of them I have the less likely I will get off. Even if it's just another couple, sometimes, who are also enjoying themselves but making a lot of noise or moving around alot it will throw me off. Getting wet is easy, getting turned on not a problem, getting off is a whole different story.

[SaSsyNsWeEt]

Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone! I have been having the same problem since we started swinging a few years ago. At home alone or with my husband there is no problem at all but when I feel like other people are expecting it to happen...it just wont! My suggestion would be to talk about it ahead of time. Let the other couple know ahead of time that sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't, that way no one will have any expectations and if you do cum then it will be a good surprise for all. Plus that has a way of taking some of the pressure off of you, remember that this is suppose to be fun and not stressful. Happy swinging love!

[joeedurt]

hello! sounds like possibly rush into things to quick! Or swing partner is not paying attention and or taking time to find your,,,,Zone~~~~ just my opinion, Joe~~~

[DigginIt]

Okay, another guy here posting but my wife and I have had this discussion. Mrs. Diggs really requires to be completely relaxed and even then, it can take me 15 to 20 minutes to get her there (without the use of toys). If you rush it she will get too sensitive and so you have to be patient and let her guide you to it. She is amazing at guidance.

She also said that she feels very uncomfortable and very selfish keeping her swing partner down there for the required length of time it takes for her to really get there which is the biggest barrier to overcome.

When we swing, she has been able to reach a 'mini' release which she feels is a step in the right direction. It's not her "OH MY GOD" type of O but she says it's still pretty good in the heat of the action. We do think we have found a woman up to the challenge and hope to find out this weekend.

[meb2020]

Dear Swing Buddies Thank you sooo much for all the helpful suggestions. To update, I am back to having major o's with hubby - YAY and mini o's with swing buddy, soon to be a major as I am figuring me out.

It was truly all in my head, learned to let go and be in the hot moment...aaahhh...Swing on Marie.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by meb2020

We have been swinging for 4 months and really enjoying ourselves and I (female) can't cum. Feels awesome, am wet, but just can't let it go. HELP!

You answered your own question..

Mentally you arent allowing yourself to let go.. there is a stumbling block up there that is holding you back.

Best therapy we can suggest... Talk with your SO, Invest in a blindfold, and spend a evening or two, where it truly is all about you..

Mentally, knowing that someone other than your husband is doing this or that, is holding you back.. when you arent sure, you still might hold back sure, but if again its all about you.. and its hubby and a friend, or TWO.. make it a tag team event..

At some point the mechanics will take over.. and the damn will break

[foozballnow]

My wife has trouble cumming in any situation. she has to have clit stimulation or forget it. that actually limits the positions we can do together at home. in a swinging situation? forget it, she has never even been close. no matter how long or short the man was or lasted.

[okcurious]

I used to be able to make my wife cum easily (oral only, seldom vaginally). Lately, the last 6 months or so, it's become a lot harder. We're still trying to figure out what's going on.. It takes a lot of patience on my part, which isn't hard because I love going down on her. Since we've started swinging, she's only came once with someone else. She LOVES swinging and is very turned on and very wet, but I think part of it is that she's worried the guy she's with is getting impatient. She feels the pressure to cum and therefore feels too much pressure. I usually, if it's not 4am and both of us dead tired, make sure she cums when we get home (or try to anyway). Hopefully, it's something that's just temporary.

Anyway, no real advice here, just letting you know you're not alone.