Muscles

[FitCpl30s]

I guess this pertains more to the guys as we never met a woman that swung that had a problem with my husband.
Are guys intimidated by a woman who is more muscular than they are?

Why I ask is when we started doing this guys would always approach me and start a conversation, now I noticed they go up to my husband or the wives go up to him to start a conversation.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by FitCpl30s

I guess this pertains more to the guys as we never met a woman that swung that had a problem with my husband.
Are guys intimidated by a woman who is more muscular than they are?

Why I ask is when we started doing this guys would always approach me and start a conversation, now I noticed they go up to my husband or the wives go up to him to start a conversation.

Are you now more muscular than you were when you started? How muscular are you?

I'm not intimidated by a woman who is more fit/toned than me, but I am not attracted to bodybuilder type women. Since they are still approaching you as a couple I'll assume that's not an issue. Is your husband also very muscular now?

[Expulsion]

Everyone has a different type. A lot of men like women to be thin and toned, but too much muscle definition might turn them off. There are obviously men who find it incredibly sexy, as well. It's just about being happy with the way you look and then finding people that also find you attractive. With more muscle definition you might draw a smaller pool of people whose "ideal" you fit, but I'm sure the large majority will still find you very attractive.

It's the same as on the other side of the spectrum, most men don't like women that are chubbier than them, either. Once you deviate from the society depiction of "perfect" you start to narrow down your following. This is not a bad thing at all, it can weed out a lot of creepers. I would say the general advice from the other thread about larger couples would apply here too. Just be confident and positive and outgoing, more people will be attracted to you.

Good luck, I'm sure you're a beautiful woman.

[FitCpl30s]

When we started in the lifestyle I had no muscle, now I am what you would call a semi-pro, my husband is also very muscular at close to 250 pounds.
What I am saying is that they use to approach me, now they mostly approach my husband, also we don't get as many offers like we use to.
Why are you not attracted to bodybuilding type women Slevin? just asking because unless I am in a bathing suit or my arms are exposed you would never know I lift.

[Alura]

I learned in Youth Football, coaching pre-pubescent boys, that testosterone is needed to really build muscles. Without it, muscles will become toned but not big and bulging.

While I prefer slender ladies, the women who turn me off are the ones who take testosterone in order to enhance their body building. In my opinion, it's unnatural and not at all attractive. I like my women soft as down and warm as sunshine.

My younger son has been into body building for the better part of a year now. He is looking more and more like Tarzan, which is good I suppose, but the amount of time he spends at it is, in my opinion, unrealistic. I wonder if he'll be able to keep it up next year when he will also have a full college schedule to contend with.

All this does not answer your question, I'm sure, which leads us to the inquiries others have posed: Who is the body builder? Yourself or your husband? How extensively have the muscles been developed?

Edit: Whoops! Sorry, Fit Cpl, we were posting at the same time.

Mr. Alura

[FitCpl30s]

Originally Posted by Alura

I learned in Youth Football, coaching pre-pubescent boys, that testosterone is needed to really build muscles. Without it, muscles will become toned but not big and bulging.

While I prefer slender ladies, the women who turn me off are the ones who take testosterone in order to enhance their body building. In my opinion, it's unnatural and not at all attractive. I like my women soft as down and warm as sunshine.

My younger son has been into body building for the better part of a year now. He is looking more and more like Tarzan, which is good I suppose, but the amount of time he spends at it is, in my opinion, unrealistic. I wonder if he'll be able to keep it up next year when he will also have a full college schedule to contend with.

All this does not answer your question, I'm sure, which leads us to the inquiries others have posed: Who is the body builder? Yourself or your husband? How extensively have the muscles been developed?

Edit: Whoops! Sorry, Fit Cpl, we were posting at the same time.

Mr. Alura

I am soft. warm and even jiggle its only hard when I flex.
Slightly mistaken about the testosterone, you can take all the testosterone in the world if you don't eat and lift you will not grow, it will just make you easily arouse able. You are right though it is needed to build really big muscle but there are also other ways to build muscle.

[The Fuse]

Maybe it's not that you are getting approached less, but that your husband is getting approached more .

That was a little silly... but I can't help thinking of the many threads I've seen on this Board that start out with the OP saying "I think others are put off by my X", where X = weight, extreme tallness, extreme shortness, or other thing. Much of the time after the OP makes a few more posts to the thread, it turns out that the consensus thinks something else is the problem. The guy who thought his height was intimidating was acting standoffish. The guy who thought his weight was putting people off was told it was probably his stated bi-sexuality. The woman who thought it was her weight was told it was probably her strong personality and penchant for being a dom.

You are thinking your muscles are putting people off, yet you also say they are not visible unless you're mostly nude. Is it possible the shape of your face has changed? Do you look more masculine? Or perhaps you have changed something else, like your hair or the way you dress? I'm just shooting in the dark here. Or, maybe like I thought at first, the change is that there is MORE interest in your husband rather than less interest in you.

In any case, best of luck.

[FitCpl30s]

Originally Posted by Alura

I learned in Youth Football, coaching pre-pubescent boys, that testosterone is needed to really build muscles. Without it, muscles will become toned but not big and bulging.

While I prefer slender ladies, the women who turn me off are the ones who take testosterone in order to enhance their body building. In my opinion, it's unnatural and not at all attractive. I like my women soft as down and warm as sunshine.

My younger son has been into body building for the better part of a year now. He is looking more and more like Tarzan, which is good I suppose, but the amount of time he spends at it is, in my opinion, unrealistic. I wonder if he'll be able to keep it up next year when he will also have a full college schedule to contend with.

All this does not answer your question, I'm sure, which leads us to the inquiries others have posed: Who is the body builder? Yourself or your husband? How extensively have the muscles been developed?

Edit: Whoops! Sorry, Fit Cpl, we were posting at the same time.

Mr. Alura

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Maybe it's not that you are getting approached less, but that your husband is getting approached more .

That was a little silly... but I can't help thinking of the many threads I've seen on this Board that start out with the OP saying "I think others are put off by my X", where X = weight, extreme tallness, extreme shortness, or other thing. Much of the time after the OP makes a few more posts to the thread, it turns out that the consensus thinks something else is the problem. The guy who thought his height was intimidating was acting standoffish. The guy who thought his weight was putting people off was told it was probably his stated bi-sexuality. The woman who thought it was her weight was told it was probably her strong personality and penchant for being a dom.

You are thinking your muscles are putting people off, yet you also say they are not visible unless you're mostly nude. Is it possible the shape of your face has changed? Do you look more masculine? Or perhaps you have changed something else, like your hair or the way you dress? I'm just shooting in the dark here. Or, maybe like I thought at first, the change is that there is MORE interest in your husband rather than less interest in you.

In any case, best of luck.

You are right, he is definitely getting approached more, it's not like it was gradual it was sudden, so it made me think it was me, and I did cut my hair a lot shorter than usual. Obviously in the summer you can see more of my physique, that's why I though it might have been that, we will see now as it get colder and I dress up more what happens.

[slevin]

Hi FitCpl,

When I say that I'm unattracted to a bodybuilder woman I am referring to the type of woman who looks like she is a bodybuilder. Obvious muscle (not just when flexing), masculine features (on some), low body fat percentage. A woman who is muscular, but still has very feminine form is attractive to me. Can't say there is a reason why other than that I don't find the very muscular look appealing. Not really a logical thing; purely emotional/instinctual.

Don't take me as representative of populous opinion though. I think Megan Fox is grossly skinny; I get weird looks when I say I'm not attracted to her.

Like Fuse, I also wonder if the reason is lying with your husband rather than you. Whether this is because more people are now finding him attractive, or perhaps intimidating? Are his muscles/size a new thing? If he has changed his physique has his attitude or demeanor changed as a result? Has his confidence level gone up? The same questions can be asked for you as well; has your confidence level gone up? Has your attitude changed? Perhaps if you are more confident the guys are more intimated to approach you?

Lots of possibilities, but just muscles might have little to do with it.

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by FitCpl30s

I guess this pertains more to the guys as we never met a woman that swung that had a problem with my husband.
Are guys intimidated by a woman who is more muscular than they are?

Why I ask is when we started doing this guys would always approach me and start a conversation, now I noticed they go up to my husband or the wives go up to him to start a conversation.

Nope ... never been intimidated by a woman who're more muscular than me. I've dated gals who've never exercised a day in their lives to third-/fourth-degree black belts who could snap me like a twig. But then again, I think strong women - physically or emotionally strong ... are attractive (to me).

[FitCpl30s]

Originally Posted by slevin

Hi FitCpl,

When I say that I'm unattracted to a bodybuilder woman I am referring to the type of woman who looks like she is a bodybuilder. Obvious muscle (not just when flexing), masculine features (on some), low body fat percentage. A woman who is muscular, but still has very feminine form is attractive to me. Can't say there is a reason why other than that I don't find the very muscular look appealing. Not really a logical thing; purely emotional/instinctual.

Don't take me as representative of populous opinion though. I think Megan Fox is grossly skinny; I get weird looks when I say I'm not attracted to her.

Like Fuse, I also wonder if the reason is lying with your husband rather than you. Whether this is because more people are now finding him attractive, or perhaps intimidating? Are his muscles/size a new thing? If he has changed his physique has his attitude or demeanor changed as a result? Has his confidence level gone up? The same questions can be asked for you as well; has your confidence level gone up? Has your attitude changed? Perhaps if you are more confident the guys are more intimated to approach you?

Lots of possibilities, but just muscles might have little to do with it.

To be honest I always liked the attention that I use to get. We tend to be more active in the lifestyle in the fall and winter months when there is less to do, so technically couples at the clubs don't see us for quite some time and when we go back we, more so my husband tends to be larger.
We both are very quiet and shy and hardly ever start the conversation, we usually wait for couples to come to us, don't get me wrong we always wave and say hi and are very polite so as far as attitude or demeanor, we are still the same.
I was just curious as to possible reasons why the sudden change. I thank everyone for pointing out possible reasons and helping me change my thought process on the matter.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by FitCpl30s

I was just curious as to possible reasons why the sudden change. I thank everyone for pointing out possible reasons and helping me change my thought process on the matter.

I've noticed that everything in life comes in waves. You might just look back on this a year from now saying, "wow, I have more attention than I can handle, remember a year ago when you were getting all the attention". It may just be the timing and nothing more.

If something has really changed it could simply be that with more experience you're husband is gaining confidence and has a more approaching smile than he had before. Don't dwell on it, the tide might just change later on down the road and he'll be asking the same question.

[hughb]

Wow! You are ripped (saw your pic on Swing Lifestyle). I'm not a big fan of the posed, flexing striated look that emphasizes the muscularity. BUT, I love fit women and I know you probably look great when relaxed.

My take, it is NOT your body. That's hawt. Sometimes really fit goodlookin women intimidate people.

Smile and be approachable and if that isn't working, be the smiling friendly approacher. If that turns people off you probably didn't want to know them anyway.

[FitCpl30s]

Originally Posted by hughb

Wow! You are ripped (saw your pic on Swing Lifestyle). I'm not a big fan of the posed, flexing striated look that emphasizes the muscularity. BUT, I love fit women and I know you probably look great when relaxed.

My take, it is NOT your body. That's hawt. Sometimes really fit goodlookin women intimidate people.

Smile and be approachable and if that isn't working, be the smiling friendly approacher. If that turns people off you probably didn't want to know them anyway.

Thank you for the compliment, I wish I still looked like that, it was right before I won my first show. Now I am a lot fuller.

[TheLorax]

I have to say that when you are flexed your muscle definition is on the high end of what I care for, but when you are relaxed you have nice curves (what I could see on Swing Lifestyle). I certainly didn't find you unattractive! I'd have no problem approaching you, and the muscle definition under your clothes would be a pleasant surprise.

Really toned shoulders and backs are an especial turn on for me!