At what point is a vibrator okay for a teen girl?

[SecretAsianMan]

Yup ... making it "hidden" or taboo is only going to peak their curiosity and make them wonder - then throws in added psychological burdens of shame associated with sex (because there must be something wrong with 'em - cuz Mom & Dad don't do this or even talk about it)

In my own history - my folks NEVER discussed sex and while it wasn't exactly shameful to be around it ... the message they always gave off to us while growing up was "It's not something we talk about" (nor do they "do it", apparently - because I NEVER saw any signs of physical affection expressed at my house while I was growing up)

I'm pretty sure my sexual obsessions (as a teen) probably weren't healthy... and I attribute a lot of that to my total inability to express or talk about it to ANYONE while growing up. (It's taken me YEARS to get to this point where I feel like I'm in some control of my sex-drive)

[bbarnsworth]

Very tangential, but a few weeks back my wife was leaving for an appointment. I was out front playing with our kids and some neighborhood kids. My wife came up to me, and we exchanged kisses. A couple of the neighborhood kids saw this. One reacted very surprised, and the other said "That's what parents do!"

I sorta felt sorry for the kid that was surprised. In my family, love was never hidden. I can't imagine a family where (appropriate, of course) affection isn't on display.

[xxxboxy]

Me either. My wife and I hug and kiss frequently, whenever one of our kids sees us they run over to get in the hug with us while crying out "family hug!".

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

Me either. My wife and I hug and kiss frequently, whenever one of our kids sees us they run over to get in the hug with us while crying out "family hug!".

Same here, except we call it group hug

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

Same here, except we call it group hug

Ditto. We are very affectionate, even if we get the "ewwww" from our kids. Of course this coming from the household where our teenage sons warn their friends "It's date night, bring ear plugs". So we may not openly discuss any details, there's no doubt in our childrens minds that their parents still have sex. And we aren't ashamed of it.

[Chitowndk4u]

Originally Posted by luckycple

My husband doesn't realize it but my daughter was the same age when she asked me the same thing. We had a long discussion about them and I showed her my collection. I told her how to use each one. Be prepared, she asked me to show her how each was used and help her with them. It was an interesting experience.

Wow, that was awesome. That's a lit story right there.

[Tadahiko]

as the o-p, i thought i would update this thread. yes my daughter now has a vibe but no she did not get it from me for her birthday...or from me at all. she simply bought it herself, with her own money, right off the shelf at the local walgreens. nobody asked her her age or to show id at the checkout.

i was aware of the purchase, but other than that i had nothing to do with it. i think that pretty much skirts any concerns bought up by others in this thread.

[fun4Ds]

Thanks for the update, MrsTadahiko

Seems things are on a natural coarse in life. I wonder how many people have to find out the hard way about their children's ideas and curiosities as they mature. Some are lucky I suppose, and others are not.

[Newbie_Guy]

I’m a newbie here but I thought I’d chime in none the less. My wife and I have already discussed how we’re going to educate our son. Luckily we’re still years away from having to cross that bridge. We don’t know the exact age we’ll discuss masturbation with him. It will largely depend on his maturity.

The reason I feel strongly about speaking to my child is I experienced what at the time was a very traumatic thing in my life. I was about 13 years old and a friend of mine showed me how to masturbate. Sex was never discussed in my house. I had no idea about anything.

I was masturbating in my room because it felt good when I had my first orgasm. It scared the crap out of me. I had no idea what just happened. My penis was swollen and something shot out of me. I was petrified. Obviously I didn’t talk to my parents about this. I actually preyed, telling God if he made me normal I’d never do it again.

I didn’t touch myself again for almost three years.

My son will not go through that. I’ll talk to him when I feel the time is right. I’ll explain to him what will happen and that it’s normal. I’ll explain to him what is and isn’t safe. I’ll explain when and where it is and isn’t appropriate to masturbate. I’ll show him how (using my finger of course). I’ll even make sure he has access to something to use as a lubricant (hand lotion?).

My hope will be he’ll enjoy self love and hold off engaging in sex with other people.

I’m not at all looking forward to this discussion. It will be uncomfortable for sure but I feel knowledge is power. I will make sure my boy understands masturbation is normal and healthy. It’s something he’ll enjoy his entire life!

[mikeandjenn2001]

I just found this in the news.

Family Working On Plea Deal In Sex Toy Case; 11-Year-Old Boy's Dad Gets Trial - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh

Now obviously, 11 is quite a bit different than 15, but just be mindful that there are people who would disagree about what is age appropriate at any age.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by mikeandjenn2001

I just found this in the news.

Family Working On Plea Deal In Sex Toy Case; 11-Year-Old Boy's Dad Gets Trial - News Story - WPXI Pittsburgh

Now obviously, 11 is quite a bit different than 15, but just be mindful that there are people who would disagree about what is age appropriate at any age.

From reading that, it appears the mother gave the boy a sex toy, but she's not being brought up on charges, only the father for sending explicit photos and magazines to the kid.

Not that this makes it legal to buy a minor a sex toy. I think it more speaks to differences in how the law treats women and men in such cases.