What is the difference between making love & having sex?

[JustAskJulie]

In YOUR opinion, what is the difference between making love and having sex? At what point does one become the other?

[bbarnsworth]

For my wife and I, it's easy. Sex is a physical feeling. It's intense and pleasurable.

Making love is an emotional connection. It's deep, soul-felt, and takes sex to a completely different level. It's emotionally intense.

I can make love to my wife kissing her fingers.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

For my wife and I, it's easy. Sex is a physical feeling. It's intense and pleasurable.

Making love is an emotional connection. It's deep, soul-felt, and takes sex to a completely different level. It's emotionally intense.

I can make love to my wife kissing her fingers.

Well put! And gave me chills, to boot!

[I'm her's]

Fucking and making love...seem to go hand in hand for me. There is no clear boundary, but they are very different. There are times when we can just be fucking hard, shes my whore and I am just hard dick....but that can change very quickly and find ourselves very emotionally connected with each other.

[I'm his]

Big difference to me. Making love is an emotional connection with all the right tender moments. Having sex is fun, flirty, filthy, hot, sticky fucking

[I'm her's]

Originally Posted by I'm his

Having sex is fun, flirty, filthy, hot, sticky fucking

I like sex.

[I'm his]

Originally Posted by I'm her's

I like sex.

love sex with you!:

[truckerbuddy]

well for me , I can make love to my ( SO ). and i can have sex with any one (ladies) when i make love to my gal, its like being in a different world. but just sex with someone, is just that good hot sex.

[IvoryTowers]

Mr. Ivory here. I dislike the use of the term "making love." There's an air of puritanism in the way we tend to invent euphemisms to attempt to "elevate" copulation into a grand, metaphysical event. The things in my relationship with Mrs. Ivory that I think help to "make" our love are our shared core values, our companionship, our world views, our way of making each other laugh, etc. To the extent that anything can be said to "make" love, I'd say these things do.

Sex is something we do for fun (whether with just each other or with playmates) and because it feels great. Yes, it can deepen our emotional connection to one another, and yes, it can sometimes be very "loving," tender, and deeply fulfilling. But really most of the time it's just sex. It's pleasurable, and it nourishes us. We wouldn't give it up for the world. But we prefer not to pretend it's magical either.

[curioussnk]

All of the above!

We talk about this from time to time. And we agree that most of the time we are coming together and doing what we do because we are in love. I agree that we "make love" all day and in many different ways, not just physically. And because we are in love we have a much deeper sexual bond than if we were not. Therefore we would not feel as though we were making love with play partners.

We also agree that 99% of the times we come together to have sexual experiences is is about sex...the fun, dirty, fast, sweaty, slow, smooth part of it all. Sometimes is is more sensual than others...is that called making love? We don't know..we just do it again!

[Tadahiko]

The sex I love best is the stuff that somehow falls between the two extremes. When the two or three of us are together, I like the familiar, casual, fun, playful sex that is more than just animals in heat, just fucking for an orgasm, yet not as "serious" as some overblown, melodramatic, conspicuously romantic seduction scene. A bed full of rose petals and love poems just ain't us.

My favorite sex is when we're around the pool on a warm summer evening, maybe eating some fresh fruit and listing to good music, enjoying each others' company, laughing at our own unique (warped!) sense of humor, feeling comfortable sharing ourselves with each other in any form that might take, and just letting the good vibe spread into the physical. That, to me, is the whole package. I think the girls would agree.

That desire for "in-between" encounters are why none of us are motivated to have orgies or one-night-stands with people we don't have larger some sort of larger relationship with, but also why my wife Kari doesn't have a problem with me getting it on with Anna, why Anna doesn't get jealous of my more committed relationship with Kari, and why I don't get flustered or insecure about Kari leaning so heavily toward self-pleasure and toys.

Does that make any sense?

[Alura]

It was always easy for Mrs. Alura and me to separate sex and love. Although the arousal and physical needs were similar in both cases, and the things we did were much the same, our need for each other had less to do with the pleasurable sensations than with a celebration of the completeness that our marriage made in our lives.

The sensations were (ahem!) sensational but the most satisfying part was the communication we experienced while making love. We often talked during sex and the awareness of the tenderness and caring we had for each other was never greater.

I think one of the attractions of swinging was that it freed us from the seriousness of our normal lovemaking, allowing both of us to be perhaps more physical, maybe even a bit more violent than we normally were with each other.

The last time we made love, just before her final illness, was a very emotional experience with spectacular climaxes for both of us. When it was over and we were lying together catching our breaths she said, "Is it possible that was the best time ever?"

But one of the most meaningful events of lovemaking we shared, which did not include intercourse, was in her hospital room after she had decided to stop fighting for her life. Her liver and kidneys had failed, the outcome was irreversible.

I got in bed with her and held her in my arms while we talked. She planned her "Celebration of Life" in detail, even setting the date and telling me who to invite and how to organize the food. "It's got to be pot-luck," she smiled. "I won't be in any condition to worry about food!"

We went on to discuss our sons' future, how to dispose of her personal things, and how I should look to the future, not the past. She told me to not feel guilty about pursuing a new relationship and certainly to continue my sex life. "I always gave you sexual freedom and enjoyed it myself. I don't want you to be a hermit, and don't waste time crying. Be happy for me."

That's a promise I've not been able to keep so far. I get teary more than I ever have in my life. Today, while working at my desk, I found my collection of her love notes to me. I read them and have been a wreck ever since. Her clothes still hang in the closet; her unfinished needle projects as she put them away.

I guess those are the differences between making love and fucking for me, and for her. I can't imagine achieving that twice in a lifetime.

Mr. Alura

[sexylady1970]

Amazing post Alura. I'm not sure if anything else can be said after that. We hope you find all that you are looking for.

[The Fuse]

Alura,

Thank you for sharing. I feel like you've given me something.

[curioussnk]

Yes, Alura, that was a great read. And i can see your relationship and love in your words.

How beautiful is it that 2 people can be together so completely that in the final moments of that relationship those topics can be discussed and with such passion

Thank you for sharing!