Birth Control Pills Make Libido Go Zero

[twohots4u2]

We have a problem and need advice on how best to handle it. From the time we met and started swinging we have had a great time sexually. Both of us were matched will in our interest and desires in sex. We found swinging really made our relationship closer and added great stimulation to our life.

However, after a Sybian party, the threads on Tina's IUD were lost and she had to have it surgically IUD removed. She decided to go onto birth control pills. The first type pill she used made her very depressed, and gave her mood swings. The doc said to keep trying them for three months. After two months, Tina could not take it any longer and asked to be changed to pill that would not cause the mood problems.

The new pill had the advantage of making her breasts a little larger, a nice side benefit. However, after three months she realize that she was not interested in sex any more. She just felt flatlined as far as sex with me or anybody, including guys who used to really turn her on. Since then we have tried meeting others, swinging, strip shows, all the things that used to excite her but her libido has just been zero. She has stopped the pills for several months but her libido has not come back.

Tina says that because of the way she feels, she does not miss having a libido or sex. Even seeing the folks that used to get her wet have no reaction and she has no interest in missing that reaction. But, she is a wonderful partner, and she knows that I am missing a lot. We are close, very happy together, do not fight, cuddle a lot, but she knows that is not enough to have a happy relationship if one partner is still horny. She gives me fantastic hand jobs to relieve the pressure from time to time, and we have had some play with others where she encourages me to have sex with the others. She helps out, getting others hot and hard, but does not want them to touch her.

Intellectually, she realizes that she needs help, but sexually she is not very interested in getting help, for she does not miss sex.

Her doctor just told her that it happens some times and she will probably get over it. He offered to change to another type pill but she felt that she would rather stop altogether and let her body get off the harmones.

What recommendations do any of you have? Have any of you had similiar experiences? What worked? What did not work? Help!

[IvoryTowers]

I had the exact same reaction to the pill, although it took a decade to effect me. However, when it did, the reaction was exactly as you describe. Intellectually, I knew I should want sex, but I just couldn't. And when we did have sex, I had trouble reaching orgasm (which made it even harder to want sex).

The easy solution is to get off the pill--my sex drive came back completely! The question is what kind of birth control should replace it. If you are sure you have all the kids you are going to want, I strongly suggest one of you get snipped. Both operations are outpatient now (it used to be a big deal for a woman to get her tubes tied, but I was done in 45 minutes and completely recovered in less than 48 hours), so take your pick. Plus, being done with birth control forever is wonderful!

If you aren't done having kids, consider a different IUD or a sponge. I wouldn't recommend Depo if she's already having trouble with libido. Plus, I know someone who had severe bone loss from Depo.

Good luck

[Trace Ekies]

Mrs. Ekies started taking birth control when she was 17 and continued, except during pregnancies, until I had a vasectomy 3 or 4 years ago.

What we found when she stopped taking the medication was that her sex drive increased. It wasn't non existent as you describe, just depressed. As time wore on and the medication was washed from her system her sex drive continued to increase, or in my opinion, got to where it would have been naturally.

These hormones are meant to control conception and in doing so they affect the drive to conceive. We have found, since stopping the use of birth control, that Mrs. Ekies is the "horniest" (pardon the crude term) for about 7 days surrounding ovulation. While taking the meds to prevent pregnancy this heightened want and arousal are, at the very least, reduced.

Please keep in mind that these are our observations...we are NOT doctors.

With that said and based on what we've found we'd recommend discontinuing the birth control medications and use another form. We'd be willing to bet that her drive will be back in a matter of months.

Trace

[The Fuse]

Would it be possible to get another IUD, and simply stay away from the Sybian?

The first time I went on birth control pills, when I was 19, I lost my sex drive completely. After three months of that I went off the pill for three months and got my libido back. Then I went back on the pill and had no problems. I would suggest you stick with it another couple of months and see what happens, or try another IUD, or get snipped like IvoryTowers suggested.

[NewFrontier]

A low hormonal dose pill eventually worked for me. There's Loestrin, Yaz, Ortho Tricyclin Lo : I think there was a backlash of women who didn't appreciate a lower sex drive and weight gain that came with most bcp's. Keep at it, you need to find the one that works right for you.

I know many women who really like the IUD's vanilla & swinger. After the birth of my 2nd I will be inserting an IUD. Most likely the Mirena so it can be done in Dr's office. What happened to you may not happen again if you decide to go back to an IUD. Good Luck and don't give up! Sex is too important.

[Chicup]

Everyone seems a bit different in this.

For Mrs. Chicup, the single dose hormone methods like the ring completely destroy her sex drive. For her, the original Ortho Tri-Cyclen works the best.

I've talked to several women who had no sex drive on the ring, and I would suspect the yazz or whatever it is called, the one period every 3 months one, could also do bad things to sex drive.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Everyone seems a bit different in this.

For Mrs. Chicup, the single dose hormone methods like the ring completely destroy her sex drive. For her, the original Ortho Tri-Cyclen works the best.

I've talked to several women who had no sex drive on the ring, and I would suspect the yazz or whatever it is called, the one period every 3 months one, could also do bad things to sex drive.

I'm now on Quasense (sp?), which is one of the pills where you only get a period once every three months. I looooove it, and my sex drive is fine . I hope others have the same experience, but like Chicup said we are all different. Frustrating for doctors and patients alike.

[Speed & Trixie]

I've tried lots of types of birth control over the years, including several different types of pills (one made me violently ill for days after drinking any alcohol or taking any medication, several made me lose interest in sex). But I kept trying until I found something my body and I could agree on.

What worries me is that your lady, according to you, doesn't seem to care about losing her sex drive or trying to get it back. And don't listen to the doctor that said "it'll come back on its own" -- that doesn't even make sense! (Doing the exact same thing for longer time will not produce a different result later...)

Encourage her not to give up. There was a time when sex was fun for her, and it's important for both of you to get that back!

[slevin]

If she has been off the pill for a couple of months and things haven't changed yet, well I wouldn't be too worried. It can take quite a while for the effects of the pill to work its way out of a womans system. What a crappy conundrum though: a woman can miss one pill and have that render the pill ineffective against getting pregnant, but can stop the pill for months and not get "back to normal"!

Now, if it's been 5 or 6 months and she still hasn't gotten back to her usual self, well then I wonder if there isn't something else going on. Perhaps something else medical, or perhaps something mental. Has there been any other changes in your relationship? Any issues? Any major stress in her/your life? Have you stopped doing other things that you (or both of you) used to do? Does she seem depressed in general at all, or is the low sex drive the only issue?

[Playful1]

Everyone responds differently to different pills. Heck, I went through 4 different types before I found the ones for me.

I would suggest she keep trying different ones.

[amid]

Is it possible that your wife's troubles are not totally medical? Perhaps the stress of having to have the IUD surgically removed and then having to deal with Birth Control on top of it add to that the "hormonal affects" of the pill. She could be going through some mental stresses that aren't apparent to you or her doctors. Many men get ED for other than medical reasons. Might be something worth exploring.

[siren52]

Originally Posted by twohots4u2

Tina says that because of the way she feels, she does not miss having a libido or sex. Even seeing the folks that used to get her wet have no reaction and she has no interest in missing that reaction. But, she is a wonderful partner, and she knows that I am missing a lot. We are close, very happy together, do not fight, cuddle a lot, but she knows that is not enough to have a happy relationship if one partner is still horny. She gives me fantastic hand jobs to relieve the pressure from time to time, and we have had some play with others where she encourages me to have sex with the others. She helps out, getting others hot and hard, but does not want them to touch her.

This is the most troubling part of the post. This sounds like a physiological problem, not a bio-chemical one at this point. I suggest you look into that first before looking into new birth control methods.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by siren52

This is the most troubling part of the post. This sounds like a physiological problem, not a bio-chemical one at this point. I suggest you look into that first before looking into new birth control methods.

That was my thought as well. We can say change pills all day long but if she just doesn't care or isn't willing then it does no good. I can kinda understand where she might feel that way after trying a few things with various other complications, there is a fear that you'll never find one that works the way you want it to, so why not just stick with the known than risk dealing with "worse" side effects. I think that is probably what she needs to get past.

The hardest part for you is that if you broach it too much it becomes an issue of you being "all about sex", so this might be a situation where sitting down with her gyno together or even a counselor might be the best way to go to discuss things. I'm thinking if you went with her to the gyno and helped her talk to them about what's been going on, they might be better able to help.

[ncmd_couple]

Ok,

I’m going to take a completely different approach to this. I don’t know if you have been on since your original post or not. I read your original post, and then I went and looked at your Swing Lifestyle profile. You two are very young and are in child rearing age. She may not be having a problem with the birth control pills as much as wanting to stop swinging for now and having children and stopping the pills completely. I’m not a Doc, I’m just an older guy who has lived longer than I expected to.

When I was your age, we were having sex, raising kids, and working our tails off. Maybe that is the problem, and you should have asked her if she wants to get off the pill and have kids.

S

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

You two are very young and are in child rearing age.

S

51 and 36?