having a fwb away from your partner?

[NymphoWind]

A thought was running through my head, and i was curious to hear what others thought...

My thought was, if a couple wasn't having sex, and say the male of the couple still continued to have a very high sex drive, but was getting nothing from the female half, would it be wrong if he was to fulfill his needs with another girl in your prospective?

Having a FWB on the side of having a relationship with his partner?

I was just curious to see what others thought of this topic and whatnot..

[ncmd_couple]

Wind,

That would depend on whether the wife knew about the situation and approved of it. If she does not know about it and does not approve of it, then it is cheating.

S

[TravlParty]

I don't know how many ways we can say it: SWINGING IS NOT CHEATING

We do not condone cheating in any way.

If the wife agrees, then you should read about Polyamory.

[NCfuncouple98]

I would first ask why the desires are not being fulfilled at home. Medical? That's one thing. But outside sex will not fix what is going on at home, and can in fact make home life worse.

It is cheating unless the wife approves. And even if she approves, keep the communication open!

I've got a best friend that opened up her marriage, hubby gave her full approval to fulfill her desires outside the marriage, and a lot of it is medical reasons. This was only 6 weeks ago, and they are going through hell. Mainly because they opened it and then didn't discuss it afterwards, and it turns out he really isn't ok with it like he thought. And neither is she. But instead of talking it out, they're just hurting each other continually.

[Cpl2share]

Cheating is cheating!!!! Yes it is okay to have a friend with benefits IF your spouse is okay with it. But being okay with it is not synonamous with saying "do whatever you want." Mrs. Cpl has a lower sex drive than I do and she is 100% okay with me having a FWB with the following conditions: The FWB must move in with us, do half the chores, pay half the bills, and never take time away from her (Mrs. Cpl), oh and she has to be attractive to Mrs. Cpl too so that she can share the benefits. LOL

[it'sso]

One can always rationalize reasons for getting sexual attention outside their marriage.
But when all is said and done, the reasons become excuses.
I'm going through somewhat of a similar situation right now due to my lady's physical problems. I think about sex constantly, but to go behind her back would open the door to other problems, so I prefer to wait for her recovery.

[Cpl2share]

Itsso; Been there done that. True love.

My hand on my gun is better than a husbands hand on a pistol!

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

My hand on my gun is better than a husbands hand on a pistol!

WELL SAID! LOL! Heh - I might swipe that from you. That would make a good signature line...

[rpu3]

If the spouse doesn't know about the FWB, it's cheating. Plain and simple. And I do come from the position of being in a marriage where both of us have/had FWBs. We are fully aware of the other's activities, etc. Anything that involves deception of any sort is just asking for trouble, and starts that slide into cheating.

[Chicup]

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...-starters.html

Read this thread.

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by Chicup

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...-starters.html

Read this thread.

Good advice! That's one long, involved, insane story! But sure does make someone new think about consequences of not being open with their partner.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

Wind,

That would depend on whether the wife knew about the situation and approved of it. If she does not know about it and does not approve of it, then it is cheating.

S

What he said!

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by NymphoWind

My thought was, if a couple wasn't having sex, and say the male of the couple still continued to have a very high sex drive, but was getting nothing from the female half, would it be wrong if he was to fulfill his needs with another girl in your prospective?

Having a FWB on the side of having a relationship with his partner?

I was just curious to see what others thought of this topic and whatnot..

Not a really cool thing to have someone else on the side if your spouse is unaware. I can empathize with one partner having a high sex drive and no sex at home. It would be rather tempting wouldn't it? In all reality, it would be cheating though. You can't step outside a marriage without a spouses knowledge and approval for sex elsewhere, even if no emotions were shared.

[willyoats]

We had a lot of fun in swinging for a long time. But there came a time when my wife just wasn't interested any more in anybody but me. However, I was not ready to give it up. Since our marriage is as strong as anybody's, she was ok with my having FWB's. I do it occasionally, maybe 3 to 6 times a year, always with her full knowledge before hand. It works perfectly for us, and it would work for others under the right circumstances.

[pants_1]

This is how my wife and I swing... or it's the plan at least. She's off on her first trip to see FWB tomorrow. Her plan was that this would help me, because my sex drive is higher. She just digs the whole new, different thing. She wants to feel that excitement again. It's really wonderful to watch her getting excited about it.

But a word of caution... this isn't an easy road! You think I don't have my worries? The trick is, we TALK about them. She is really sensitive about my feelings. So if you want to do this, be sure to communicate frankly and thoroughly with your wife about what you are looking for and what you are expecting. And try to remember that, when you go off on your own, it isn't like couples swinging... you're breaking up the team. You need to be sure your wife doesn't feel she's being left behind, like some of the attention she should be getting is being diverted.

Good luck!